LONG SHOT AWARD WINNER ANNOUNCED!

There has been a lot of talk about the Long Shot Award this year. Maybe too much talk. The Long Shot Award Winner for the KUBE 2012 is MAX Shaprio! We do not, however know how much he has won because (and this is a shocker) Kukla is on vacation on Arizona and the cash and Pay Pal money is mysteriously with him and he needs some time to "reconcile" the accounts. In regard to Max as i said earlier he is a long tim player of the KUBE but based on his facebook pictures KUBE will once again be in instituting random drug tests for participants. I am NOT saying that Max is doping. It would belittle the kontest to do so but as St. Ronald told us in regard to the Russians...."trust, but verify". Sage advice indeed.

I don't know where Dan Kukla's observations have been lately. There was some discussion of his donning some animal fur and grabbing some honey and wandering in the desert for a while when he heard of the North carolina injury. We need you back Dan! I can blather but people have come to expect...kontent...without typos.

I am working with KUBE Management and our Phoenix office as well as our web partner BOOMREACTIVE.com (go there now) in order to publish a dead beat list. Kukla was careful to advise that "Max has paid". That makes him different than a lot of you mokes. My plans are as follows:
1. Publish a list of late payees.
2. Call your parents (if living, use a Quija Board if not) and advise that their child is a deadbeat.
3. Go to your kids school and heckle them regarding your failure to pay.
4. Report you to the credit reporting agencies.
5. Destroy your life.
Get your money in people. No time like the present.

Congratulations MAX!

NCAA Sunday Knight Knews & Knotes

Sooooooooo....Sunday night. I have had some bad Sunday nights in March. returning from Vegas after the first few days. Feeling broke. being broke. Brackets broke. Heart...broke. So I am reasonable comfortable with March Madness Desolation Effect (MMDE) though it has hit me pretty hard this year. MMDE is an insidious disease with no known cure. It manifests itself with depression and exhaustion and a general loss of a will to live. For many who play the KUBE Brackets, sadly these symptoms cannot be distinguished from your every day life but many (several) of the 400 plus KUBE players are reasonable high functioning, non-drooling, in school or have jobs and (arguably) productive members of society. For them seeing their brackets burn (and I just finally did actually burn mine) is devastating.

For me this year has been a very difficult one and today particularly cruel. The initial Mizzou loss was a disaster but it was cleaned up for me by Duke and Notre Dame losing coupled with a Billiken win. I thought I had something going perhaps with Vandy and the future while not being bright was at least not a the relentless, vast wasteland of turnovers, airballs and the steady, inexorable advance of the hated number 1 seeds. This situation not being bad enough it is exacerbated by the asinine, insufferable and unjustifiable Miller 64 commercials. I would rather watch Charlie Sheen hit 3 pointers all day long for Ohio State and I hate Charlie Sheen and hate Ohio State.

When I woke up this morning my 5 brackets (three wantonbeckers, a big boy and one for mom (Doris Mae though I misspelled her name) were merely a disaster. My average on those 5... wait for it...298! My wife was in at 217 and my daughter, though she picked Mizzou was at 10. But, I thought, perhaps today would be better....NOT! not a lot of upsets. I guess I am heartened for Ohio since they are not Ohio State. My Billiken loss was really crushing and to see Majerus rearing up was a little bit of a nightmare. Not sure how much more I can stand this evening.

My advice for you, my fellow KUBITES is to make sure you are not alone. Dring a few solid glasses of bourbon. Soak in a hot tub. If you have any weed you definitely need to smoke it. Grab Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged", use it to balance the wobbly table in the kitchen, and go to bed.

I will leave you with an excerpt from Bernie who quoted a teary Conklin (very hard to watch): "Coach has done so much," Conklin said. "Being his first recruiting class, he told me that we were going to help him build something special here. And it felt like this year it really came together. We were able to take what Coach taught us.
"He’s a great coach. I couldn’t imagine playing for a better coach, a better person. He doesn’t just teach you about basketball; it’s about life. And he’s a great figure for the community and for the city, and he’s really brought St. Louis basketball to where it is right now, bringing in great guys.
"We all love each other in that locker room. And he just knows how to read a person and he brings us all together and we buy into his system because it works, and it brought us this far this year. And you know they’ve got a great nucleus coming back next year and they’re going to be a really tough team."


Read more: http://www.stltoday.com/miklasz-billikens-make-majerus-proud/article_2fcf3fd2-715e-11e1-b339-001a4bcf6878.html#ixzz1pWTaPIlA

The King Of Karlsbad!

By Dan Kukla

So there’s this girl.

At work. Her desk is just two down from mine.

I can’t stop thinking about her.

Last year she picked Connecticut as her March Madness champion and won every pool she was in. A girl like that is a rare find so this year I finally worked up the courage to ask her out to the KUBE. She accepted… via facebook. Man I’m smooth.

Now she’s got Indiana all the way. I must admit holding in laughter when I saw that pick. A team that relies completely on the fickle art of three-point shooting? That can only win at home? That hasn’t made the Sweet 16 in a decade?

To win it all?

Now she’s tied for 43rd after Day 3 while my brackets are busy leading the bottom half of the pool. Who’s laughing now?

But this is why I can’t stop thinking about her. I must know her secret. How does she come up with these dark horse champions?

“I just go with my heart,” she says. Done: Homer Derby checking in at 284. That clearly can’t be the full explanation. Or maybe I just need a new heart.

When Matlin Smith told me about picking Indiana as her champion I remembered what happened last year and went back to see if I should change my thinking on the Hoosiers. I just didn’t see it. In fact, I didn’t even see them making it out of the first weekend. I loved both VCU and Wichita state as Sweet 16 picks and all “just going with my heart” aside, I legitimately thought New Mexico State would pull off the upset over Indiana anyway.

THEY DON’T WIN AWAY FROM ASSEMBLY HALL! THEY ONLY SHOOT 3’s! It screams of an obvious early exit, especially when paired with three beautiful Cinderellas.

So Matlin’s UConn pick in 2011 was discarded as fluke luck and I moved forward with my much wiser selections.

As the only KUBE entrant with Indiana on the final line and now a strong point base to build from, just an appearance in the championship (and maybe even just a Final 4 run) from the No. 4 seeded Hoosiers will put her in contention. If Indiana wins it all she is virtually guaranteed to do the same.

Let’s be clear. This is not your average girl that wins pools by selecting her favorite color schemes, mascots and shopping towns when filling out a bracket. Matlin actually watches basketball and picks teams she thinks will win.

Saturday she told me she wakes up every morning thinking about her pick Indiana. Who are they playing? Will they win? How much money will I steal from all these losers this year? (OK, I made that last one up).

While the Hoosiers were busy pulling off a Houdini act against VCU to prevent another “Shaka,” Matlin told me that she is not allowed to watch because it makes her teams lose. She finished her work and promptly rushed out of the office right after Indiana took a late lead and right before they later snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.

Really? VCU misses two free throws that would have put them up 5 with a minute left? Indiana converts a three-point play at the other end to tie and then wins after a blocked shot bounces right to an open Hoosier on the baseline – a player who then made his only shot of the second half? VCU misses an open 3 at the buzzer?

What kind of black magic is this? Matlin not only has superstitions but they actually work! Told you this lady is a rare find.

After giving this some serious thought, her success can only be attributed to one thing: her company’s superior sports department. The Current-Argus is clearly where she gets all her sports information and this has to be her edge. No else picked Indiana so she must have come up with the Hoosiers as her champion by reading a publication no one else reads – or at least respects.

As such, Matlin Smith’s entry will from now on be referred to as the Current-Argus entry. Any and all winnings will be shared accordingly.

Go Hoosiers!

I Am Really Starting To Hate This Kid

By Dan Kukla

I told you sooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

Yes, even you Becker.

We just needed one giant to fall to bust this thing wide open. Unfortunately that one happened to be our beloved Mizzou but the resulting mayhem was sure worth it.

Down goes Duke, giving us the first tournament with two 2s out in the Round of 64 (never to be referred to as the second round). Down goes Michigan, giving us the first tournament with three teams seeded 13+ with wins on the same day. Down goes all of our brackets.

Wow, Missouri really does love company (ducking to avoid projectiles being hurled at my head).

Come on. Don't let that grumpy old man running this blog fool you. Missouri's loss restored order by creating complete disorder. While there's no evidence that any one game in the tournament affects outcomes in any others, it sure did feel that way Friday. Shortly after sulking off to work following that Missour-able loss (OK, I'll stop) I was treated to leftover pizza while I clicked back and forth between a trio of upsets. Puke was busy choking hard against Le High (oh, wait, that was a college team?) while St. Louis made us all proud by knocking off Memphis. As Ohio represented my MAC well with an upset of Michigan, I just couldn't click fast enough to keep up with it all.

Ah yes, the Madeness was back. Leftover pizza and flipping through upsets of evils is what makes this time of year pure bliss. It's what I craved (dreamed is probably more accurate... considering my slumberous state) all day Thursday and Friday morning.

And wouldn't you know, my brackets actually aren't all that tarnished afterall... if you look at them from the right angle in the right lighting. My "Axis of Evil" picks are still perfect in the East region. I have only once picked a perfect region all the way to Final 4 so I can at least continue to pull for that. My coin toss still has its entire Final 4 alive and correctly picked Ohio, Lehigh and Norfolk State while shooting exactly 50% in the first round. As for my "Homer Derby" well at least I didn't yet have to scratch off SLU or New Mexico. Who knows, if the Lobos run to the Elite 8 and the Billikens knock of Izzo just maybe that will earn enough points to put me back in the mix.

If you can't get enough of this glass-half-overflowing outlook on life I encourage you once again to check out my beautiful bride's new blog: www.meg4christ33.blogspot.com. If you're one of Becker's ogre-ish types, well then maybe you need a click on that link more than anyone else.

Go Lobos! Go SLU! Down with "that" Ohio State and Kansas!

Enjoy the last two days of the first weekend. There's nothing else like it.

Well, that's just the facts.

(PS I appologize for the many errors in my last post. I suspect corruption at the top behind this as sabotage in this point/counter point format that I was completely unaware of but I'll just blame my still fragile frame of mind after a devastating loss. It's the only possible explination for why I would blindy send work into a Becker, expecting someone to be responsible at the other end).

First Round Analysis: Kube-Ku

Dave Kowert 412
Jon Becker 411
Music to my ears

Kube-KU

Bracketology
Billikens win, Tigers lose
On to Saturday

Please submit your Kube-Kus to wantonbecker@mac.com

***
Soooooo....that was quite day. Two epic upsets within three hours. The heart of the nation in fly over country shattered and the basketball elites of Carolina humbled. But enough of the bad. These bracket busters are personal but have no effect on the over all standings of this fine kontest. No one, in the nearly six thousand people playing the KUBE this year had Mizzou losing and only one person had Lehigh winning. Her name escapes me and we will have to give her props later but with the mentally ill that can be enabling so we need to be careful.

Lets not focus on the bad. Our beautiful St. Louis University Billikens (they are of course a Catholic Institution, "Our Lady of the Elegant Mascot) won. They won a pretty solid match up against a physically superior Memphis squad. I had one eye witness at the Columbus Arena who said the first half was "boring" but that is because the Billikens have the 8th best defense in the Country. You have to love Rich Majerus. He recruited kids he could coach and has coached them to play great team basketball. I don't kid myself that they can knock off a powerhouse like Michigan State. I am sure Lehigh and Norfolk State didn't kid themselves either. Sometimes hard work and good coaching win the day. We will see. One thing we did see was that Mizzou's Haith was not ready for prime time. Deer in the headlights. No answers when faced with the puzzle of phyicality, rebounding and suddenly poor shot selection. Next year will be a real test. Fortunately it will be in that new patsy conference.

Notre Dame lost. Happy.

Temple lost. Sad. I wanted to pull out John Cheney's ghost though I am hoping he is still alive.

I need a Boheim stumble and a Vandy surge. On to Saturday!

get those haikus in now!

Point/Counterpoint: Tiger Trauma

One of the advantages of having the Voice From The Kavern, The Sage of The Desert, The Teller of the Tumbleweeds and me is that in cases of drama, trauma and... for lack of a more literate or journalistic term, bad stuff you can now get two opinions. We will start off with Kukla's POINT We All Enjoy The Drama of March and are not permanently damaged by the Tiger Loss:
Post Mizzou

Ooooooooooooooooooookay, now I'm really upset.
And I also realize that me previous post today will direct all blame amongst KUBErs for the Mizzou loss squarely at me. Yup, I jinxed them. It doesn't matter if you're the sort that believes in that kind of stuff, I did. Didn't just write a column begging for more upsets but even mentioned the upcoming Mizzou game and everything.
To top it all off, I even had my only Mizzou shirt hanging in my closet, saving it for Sunday. Putting it on at the under 12 TV timeout probably just served to seal the Tigers fate.
Hopefully by now you've finished you sulking. If you are actually a Mizzou student/grad or grew up in Columbia, you are permitted to sulk for the rest of the month. But for the majority of us, your sulk time expired a quarter of the way into the SLU game.
I don't care how far you had the Tigers going in your brackets. It way too early to claim this single game cost you any amount of winnings. My homer derby bracket is pretty much torched already as expected and I am not in the least bit concerned.
I asked for some Madness, got exactly what I wanted and... let me tell you a secret... LOVED IT!
For full disclosure, yes, I was a pouty face for all of those final minutes as Mizzou imploded and NFSU hit every shot it even thought about much less took. Just ask my wife. She'll tell you what a miserable bumb I was, how I drug my feet and hung my head all the way out the door on the way to work.
But you have to admit, this is why we love March. The trill of victory AND the agony of defeat - as long as it comes packed in a wildly unexpected manner - it what makes this tournament so great. I am much more satisfied with a completely busted bracket and a historic upset at the expense of my own rooting interest than another, my goodness another freaking ho-hum blow out by a favorite.
I just couldn't take it anymore.
So here's to the start of March Madness. Even if it came a little (OK, a lot) late and even if it came crushing through our brackets and favorite team.
If you don't take kindly to my outlook, well I certainly take kindly to your feedback. Just throw it in my pile of hate mail with all the other letters addressed "Current-Argus Sports Editor." Just please be a little more creative than a parent/grandparent of a high school athlete.
And to save you some time, ink and space... yes, I'm happy.

***

COUNTERPOINT: This loss badly damaged myself, my family and an entire state:

Soooooooo...(this is different than oooooooooooookay. To quote the epic southern rock band The Drive by Truckers, "Hell no I ain't happy". That was painful loss. I watched it from my bed rather than in a bar due to a general malaise and lingering condition that seems to be some combination of the consumption and possibly syphilis.... who knows? In any case I was in a physically and mentally weak state. The prior evening I had to retire before the last game and was restlessly anticipating Fridays games with Mizzou and SLU. I picked against SLU in my brackets because I knew I would be so pleased with their victory. I picked the Tigers in every bracket because like Romney...they were...inevitable.

So I watched in disbelief as they were badly outplayed by Norfolk State and on Kyle O'Quinn (black Irish?) Frank Haith sulked around the sideline like a man lost in a dream and he had no answers for the game like he had no answer for K-State. Outplayed and put coached the number 3 ranked team in the nation went down in flames and a minor, red, flyover State went silent. I am getting too old for this. I have bitterness issues and if Kukla were here I would punch him in his little commentator nose. I believe we ALL should take him up on his offer and write letters to his editor, hate letter. really, really nasty hate letters. Does anyone write letters anymore. This Kukla kid has got to be stopped.

Letters To the Editor
Carlsbad Current-Argus
620 S. Main St.
P.O. Box 1629
Carlsbad, NM 88221-1629

Nobody likes a good loser. Especially here at KUBE. And I want to be clear, it is Dan's fault. That failure to put on his Mizzou gear until 9 minutes were left...totally unforgivable. Totally.