March 25,2016
The Wise and Foolish Builders
Matthew Chapter 7
24 “Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practise is like a wise man who built his house on the rock.
Our dad...He Built on Rock. For over 89 years he built on rock.
He married well,
He Served His Country
He raised a nice marginally functional, loving family and
He stayed faithful
To his wife, his family and his God.
He built on rock.
Our family is “funny”, but not always that sensitive or bright. For years I gave my mom a hard time about the age gap between myself and my brother and sister who are 7 and 8 years older than I am. After a time, as an adult she said to me…
“You know I had 4 miscarriages trying to have all of you so maybe your not so funny”.
So maybe we are not so funny.
But that was a classic example of the two of them building on rock together and raising this “funny” family.
He Married well. He knew he needed to marry my mother. He went AWOL from boot camp to come home and visit her. She sent him a Dear John letter while he was serving in Europe. He came home and he got her back and married her because he knew. HE KNEW! That relationship was formative in everything he became. She humbled herself to him and supported him from the start, sometimes even when he was wrong and over time, she changed him. She and God and life made him kinder, softer, better. In the end she was the strong one that HE needed but the sweeping arc of their marriage was and is humbling to anyone who paid any attention and especially to their children, and their grandchildren.
As I said earlier, together they raised a marginally functional loving family. I didn't have the same dad my brother and sister had because of that age gap. When I was little my dad was scary.
He was the authority.
“My House, MY RULES” were words that flowed easily and “wait till your father gets home” was no idle threat. He was tough, successful in business and dominated every situation and every room. But life and God and time dealt him some setbacks, educated him about “strength” and by the time I reached adolescence he saw that he was not always right and that maybe he was a little too hard on my siblings and… I benefited greatly. Which makes me laugh.
My best memories of dad were when he was taking care of me sometimes. My mom went back to work and I would be dragged along by my father to meetings to see and listen to the men who were seeking him out for advice and counsel. Advice about work. Advice about their marriages. Advice about their investments. Advice about their kids. People came to him because my father gave good counsel. When you sat with him he listened intently and then he told you exactly what he was thinking. It was rarely what they wanted to hear. He helped people figure things out and it was fascinating to watch.
But God...he was fun to watch too. We travelled a lot and he owned a travel club and a plane or 4 or 5, with friends. I remember flying all over the place. I remember him playing cards on the plane and laughing. Going to Florida or Mexico and him renting a sail boat and watching with my concerned mother as the sail disappeared over the horizon… hearing her mutter under her breath that he really had no idea what he was doing, making jokes about the Cubans picking him up as a spy and perhaps him missing dinner and causing my mother a little more distress. And he would laugh. He flew, he sailed, he gambled, sometimes he drank, he laughed and his eyes… his blue eyes twinkled….
A LOT...especially when he was messing with you. He was a hard man to bring your date to home to meet. Traditional conversation gambits were, “when are you two getting married?” after you had been dating for a month or “when are you two having a baby?” After just returning from your honeymoon. He liked to stir it up. He especially liked to give my wife Sandy a hard time about almost anything and messing with my wife is not for the weak of spirit.
But he also lived a life of faith. That spirit of quiet faith affected all of us. One of my best friends in the world has memories of my dad as a Sunday School teacher back at Ascension Lutheran. We lived 3 blocks from there and you went to church every week. “You have time to play, you have time to pray. I want to hear those feet on the floor!” He would holler from the first floor. And one of the ways he showed his faith was by teaching Sunday School. Some of you don't know this but our dad was bald and he had some growths removed that left scars on the sides of his head and he relished telling small children, “That is where I had my horns removed”. The kids laughed uncomfortably because there was always the unspoken possibility that my dad was actually the devil… or at least a former bull. His example… his spirit helped me become a Sunday School teacher, youth leader and husband and father. But he never talked about how he served.
That spirit of quiet faith allows my brother to more than occasionally occasionally pass some unmarked bills to pastor Seidler to spread out where he sees a need… or perhaps to pay for his green fees… and that spirit of faith allows along with Naomi, his wife to teach couples Bible study here at Concordia….forever.
That quiet certainty of faith and family allowed my sister through some adversity to raise two fabulous children of her own and with her husband Gerry to serve here at Concordia in numerous capacities….also forever.
Wife, family, faith. He put in the time. He built on rock.
He showed up. He did the work. He built on rock.
He did it quietly and humbly and he took care of business, his faith, his church and missions. He built on rock.
He left his children, their spouses, his grandchildren and his great grandchildren with a DEEP line up of faith, family, church, responsibility and JOY. He built on rock.
We will miss you paw paw but hopefully we will build as well as you and when our time comes perhaps if we are lucky we will leave a legacy of marriage, family and faith. The Beckers, the Ebests, the Gates, the Daniels, Mulvihills and the Burbridges all appreciate all of you coming to celebrate this man and his life as we try and take the best part of him into our own families and to also remember that it is important to have that foundation of faith under everything we do.
Bob Becker.
He had a good run.
God was good, and Bob Becker built on a rock.
Robert G. Becker | |
Obituary
 Becker, Robert G. passed peacefully on Thursday, March 17, 2016. He is survived by his wife of 69 years Doris (nee Thompson), daughter Lyn (Jerry) Ebest, sons Robert J. (Naomi) Becker and Michael (Sandy) Becker, grandchildren Greg (Jessica) Gates, Megan (Tom) Mulvihill, Elizabeth (Brian) Daniels, Jennifer (Drew) Burbridge, Jonathon (Lydia) Becker, Patrick (Kyle) Becker and Laura Becker, great-grandchildren Allison, Colin, Will, Alexandra, August and Cameron, brother Don (Mary) Becker. Robert was a loving man, respected for his principles and joyous in his Christian faith. Every day was The best day of my life. Services: Memorial service will be held Saturday, March 26, at 1:00 p.m. at Concordia Lutheran Church, 505 S. Kirkwood Rd. Visitation 12:30 at church. Interment will be private. Memorials may be made to the Alzheimer's Association , Lutheran Children and Family Services, 9666 Olive St. Suite 400, St. Louis, MO 63130 or to the charity of one's choice . | |
