I Am Of Course.... An Idiot

Sorry for my extended absence from this space. Summer is a nightmarish busy time. As I type this I am watching Governor Sanford melt down on the 24 hour news cycle thinking how sad it is on so many levels. How sad it is that this dogmatic, morally scolding conservative should have to be brought down in this way. How sad it is that we are all sinners and all only a few bad decisions away from a total meltdown. How sad it was that you knew when he disappeared that there was an illicit relationship with someone. You always hope that being brought low will make people more understanding of other people’s faults but people like Rush Limbaugh who have had difficulties with drug abuse and never stopped condemning others weaknesses in their hypocrisy does not give much hope. Other then his attempted refusal of TARP money I had never heard of the guy but he seems like a nice guy. They are running some his “Christian Values” campaign commercials right now and it is pretty painful. We force our politicians to pretend that they are without sin and it is really stupid. This is not just a Conservative thing or a Republican thing. It is a political thing and it is no wonder that these deeply flawed people rise to the top because anyone with any sense would not expose themselves to such an ultimately damning system of curring favor with special interest groups by publicly pretending to embrace their agenda. Now that i know what happened I am sick of the story. I hope he does not resign. I also hope he does not run for President, at least until he gets his shit together. Blah, blah, blah.

*****

So I got to spend a whole week with a bunch of teenagers up in Michigan. I drove 6 kids from St. Louis up there and they joined a group of about 160 kids at beautiful Camp Arcadia. As always it was sweet. I get to go up and they give me 11 kids for a week and put us through “the program”. Inevitably these are some of the best people I get to deal with all year long. Not the best teachers but the best people. It was a little creepy. Several kids had parents out of jobs or under employed. This obviously was causing added stress in their houses. We don’t sleep much when we are up there. I also don’t drink much or engage in any other of my many vices when there. Other then eating like a pig it is a place where I get a little cleansing. In light of how I treat my body day to day any cleaning would seem positive. It was sweet being away from work for a week and getting to know 11 kids who I did not know before gives me some meager hope for the future which is better then no hope at all.

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On the way home from camp I only had two kids in the car with me and was in a hurry to get home (for no good reason). When driving south down the west coast of Michigan you take highway 31 and it is 70 mph the whole way other then a 30 mile or so stretch from Muskoegen to Holland where it intermittently drops to 55 and below. I was blowing along at 74 when pulled over. It never ceases to amaze me how sick to my stomach I get at the sight of flashing cherrys in the rear view. I always want to puke. The office was the kind of large, blue eyed Dutchman that you can only find in Holland Michigan and had probably been fairly formidable when playing middle line backer for Hope College. he was polite. He inquired if I had a good reason for speeding (I did not) and went back to run my plates and I assume write me a ticket. When he got out of the cruiser without his ticket clip board I thought perhaps he was going to let me skate but then he informed me that I had an old unpaid ticket in Michigan and therefore was no longer authorized to drive in the state. He also told me I would need to post a 205 dollar cash bond and asked if I had the cash and when I said no he politely said:
"Please step out of the car".
When I did so it was followed up by:
"Please place your hands on the vehicle".
At which time I realized he was about to arrest me. Keep in mind that I had a two week beard growing, no shoes and two minor children in the car. I began to speak telling him that although i knew he was just doing his job I needed him to help me out a little and he told me that he had no options but to take me in and book me and let me post a credit card bond "at the station". The kids in the car looked horrified but were trying to be polite. I could see a bank about 1/2 mile away and suggested i could drive to the ATM:
"I cannot allow that sir. You are not authorized to drive in the State of Michigan."
I smiled.
"How about if you just give me a ride?"
"Once I put you in the squad car you are arrested." He responded.
I stuck my head in the window at the two 16 year olds and asked if either had ever driven a stick and they both indicated the negative but i made my final play:
"How about if I teach one of the kids to drive a stick and you follow me to the bank?"
"I do not think that would be safe sir."
I pleasingly looked at him and said "I need a little grace here officer. I am confident that I can get him to learn quickly and get to the bank and post that cash bond".
He grudgingly allowed it and I hopped in the passenger seat. In the drivers seat was a panicked young man named Jeff Schultie who after a few simple instructions performed brilliantly. I think he only killed the car once and was able not only to get us there but also negotiated a Michigan U turn in the process. I went to the ATM and got the cash. He wrote the ticket and gave me receipt and then told me that although I was not authorized to drive in the State of Michigan it might not be in every one's best interests to have Jeff drive all the way to Indiana and he suggested that Jeff get me out of his county. Jeff did and then gratefully surrendered the wheel but i cannot say enough about the effort. For me it was just a totally humiliating fathers day. On the other hand I didn't have to fly back from Argentina and face the press like the governor of California. I guess it was not that humiliating.

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Two weeks ago I was up in Lansing Michigan giving a commencement address. That will be posted tomorrow.