St. Louis Tacos: The Real Deal

Sooooo....tacos. I have an odd, inexplicable penchant for tacos. Tacos of many different types and styles. I tire of anyone calling such a bastardized item “authentic”. There are Mexican, New Mexican, Texas, Thai, Korean.... the road goes on forever and the party never ends. I have developed a preference generally for simple soft corn tortillas with some type of meat and a little lime and cilantro. They seem pure to me and when I discovered i could get them down on Cherokee Street it was yet another thing that made me smile about St. Louis. Sure, we have lost our brewery to Brazilians, the cardinals are owned by some rich boys from Country Day and every large company worth it’s salt has run (not walked) out of our little town. But we have some damn fine tacos.

La Vallesina with it’s outdoor dining is my favorite but on some days my inadequacies at Spanish can limit my meal. So this week I went on a small but interesting taco binge trying two new places. The first is The Farmhaus. I had tried to dine there last Friday fro fried fish but they were “sold out” when I went. The Farmhaus is open for dinner but has reved up a small, ravenous fan club for it’s daily Blue Plate specials. They tend to be comfort food and started being whatever they wanted to cook. There are no choices. you pay 10 or 11 bucks and you eat whatever they serve you with a side, salad and a drink. If nothing else it is a cute idea. So I went with my niece and nephew this Tuesday because the Farmhaus has announced taco Tuesday. I was unnaturally excited. the place is sparse in decoration but was already filling up at 11:30. The salad was suspicious to me with the dreaded “field greens” which I view to be weeds but they had an excellent dressing and in an effort to continue to broaden my tastes I ate it. They have flavored iced tea which is a strike against them but the water was cold. they then served each of us three tacos, chorizo, carnitas and veggie. They were all good but surprisingly the chorizo was the best. they were served plain with a lime along with Spanish rice and big meaty beans (which i hate but understand that I am in a sad, unschooled minority. It was all good. My complaint is that they were not great. Tacos should be great. i will not need to go back for Taco Tuesday but I look forward to experiencing other Blue Plates. it is a great kitschy idea. All you need to know:

http://www.farmhausrestaurant.com/farmhausabout.asp

Which brings me to my favorite, great kitschy idea....the taco truck! They have had these out in L.A. for years. Large wagon like trucks with a ull kitchen jammed inside. In L.A. it was the Korean taco truck that really got peoples attention. They were hard to find but a treat and developed quite a following. The thought of getting food from a truck is VERY appealing to me. I fondly remember the ice cream stock and the hot dog stand and the taco truck seemed a natural. For the last year I had been blathering in my tiresome way to friends that I was going to revolutionize St. Louis cuisine with a taco truck and that my son could run on it on his graduation. Alas he graduated and got a job and I got distracted...probably by a shiny object or perhaps a gum wrapper, and it never happened. And them the bastards stole my idea.

This is what a taco looks like on a car seat...as you drive.



So after taco Tuesday at Farmhaus I was leaving court on a Wednesday and got the tweet from Cha Cha Chow that the taco truck was outside Barnes Hospital on Euclid and Forest Park. Yes, I follow both Farmhaus and Cha Cha Chow on Twitter. Yes, i am not cool or young enough to be on Twitter. Get over it. I was done with court at 11 when I got the Tweet heading back to Clayton. Why not? I want to say for the record that it was an excellent decision. I pulled up behind the truck illegally parked on Euclid (and i illegally parked behind it). there is something illicit abd buying your food from a truck, especially when you are driving up behind it. it is kind of like a drive by shooting... with food. I hopped out and jogged to the sidewalk side of the truck and asked after the tacos. They assured me that they were life changing and I ordered the chicken, the carnitas and the fish. 9 bucks. I think that breaks down to 3 bucks each. The pork was mouth watering and flavorful with a verde that was not hot but very bright with great tomatillo bursting out and served as god intended on corn. The chicken was similarly flavorful with cheese and onion. the fish was a little disappointed because it was covered in their mayo, cha cha sauce.

I ate them all in the car as I drove. Even the fish. they did not change my life but it was oh so good and I know i will be hitting the taco truck at least a few times a month. If you do not tweet I think you can find it through their website of Facebook page but go hear to get the delicious menu.

http://chachachow.com/menu.html

Cha Cha’s Taco Truck, if they play it right will become a cherished St. Louis tradition. Even for the sober. Go there. Now.

Keep Your Head Down? Really?

For whatever reason I have started to end phone conferences and emails to some people with the phrase “Keep Your Head Down”. I have no idea when I started to do this or why. I keep trying to stop but it just keeps fitting the situation no matter what I am writing or saying. It is, a little odd, even for me. For years I have been making fun of a classic local lawyer I have the pleasure of dealing with all the time named Vince Vogler.

For years Vince has been ending conversations with “Get To Work” or “Get back To Work” which tended to be great ways to end conversations. Vince is always good for a long and sometimes funny story normally relating back to the time when people used the word “mimeograph”. Anyway, you always know when your done with Vince because suddenly you hear “get back to work” and you know the call is over. This is handy.

I believe I started saying “keep your head down” meaning “stay out of trouble” or “don’t be noticed” or “stay off the radar screen”. All of this is pretty good advice. In fact it is REALLY good advice. All the time. People can never successfully play “whack a mole” with you if you keep your head down. If you do not stand out or say obnoxious things to people, they often will not have the need to take a shot at you. Obviously when people are shooting at you, “keep your head down” makes even more sense.

I came to realize though that if i was telling someone I needed some work out of them that “keep your head down” was an admonishment like “keep your nose to the grindstone”. Think about that one a little bit. But of course if you are working, your head is down. You are watching. You are also paying attention. Arguably, paying attention is a good thing.

It has also been advice I have heard myself... as a younger man, when i thought I was going to be an average golfer (I never quite made it there) but often when my slice would be the most pronounced or when I was busy watching my ball go into the lake my father in law or a similar figure of importance and sage would say, “keep your head down”. That is good advice. All the time when your swinging.

Like I said, I do not know how I started saying and typing this. It is trite, presumptuous and perhaps even a little...shallow. But until I can break myself of it. Keep you head down. And if you cannot keep your head down.... then get to work.

Best of 2010 Music

Best Music of 2010

Sure it sounds easy to crank out a list of music no one else has heard, that no one else cares about and of course that...twangs. BUT IT IS NOT! It is hard... it is DAMN HARD to quote Wesley Snipes in “White Men Can’t Jump” but yet hear I am again. Another year... another failure to review a diner. But I want to tell you, I think there was a lot of great music this year. While listening to all this music I read the blog of Bob Lefsetz and internalized his rants about how cashing in does not matter, only loving music, being talented and working hard. How there has never been so much good music out there but there is so much that counter intuitively... it is hard to find. That now what matters is the filters, the trusted sources for recommendations. I am NOT one of those.

Hollerado: “Record In A Bag”. Damn this was fun. It is an unlikely choice for me. Straight ahead rock n roll with a driving guitar and drums. This band is Canadian (Manitck Ontario) and decided that they were going to make it on their own. They hopped in a car from somewhere up there and went as far as their gas money would take them. They then went to bars and offered to open, or to play before the opener... for nothing. Each morning they went to Best Buy and bought a CD burner and burned a bunch of CD’s and then returned it that afternoon. That evening at whatever show they played they sold the discs in ziplog bags. And they survived. It is more then a story. This is good music. Download the song Juliette. Do it now. You will smile. http://www.hollerado.com/

***

Frightened Rabbit: “Living In Color”. WHo would of thought a Scottish band? I would have thought that little block of land was played out. But this band grabbed me with this CD. Lots of good songs and it rocks. The title track, the uplifting suicide song “Swim Until You Can’t See Land”, “Nothing Like You” and “Not Miserable”. Dense arrangement and the pained, pained Scottish lilt. For me this CD was a departure from my normal tastes but it was just so well done and it grew and grew on me... like a fungus.

***

Elizabeth Cook: “Welder”. Best CD of the year and right in my wheel house. It grabbed me at first with an obvious painful song, “My Heroin Addict Sister” and then made me smile with “El Camino” but pretty soon I found myself listening to the whole CD over and over in my car when traveling. “Follow You Like Smoke”, “Its Not California”, “Girlfriend Tonight” and the painful hilarious (for me) “When you say yes to beer you say, no to booty”. I heard that. her voice is just awesome. She looks like a little girl but i would place her at 40 and her guitarist husband Tim Carroll is an old alt country favorite. If you like shit like Lucinda WIlliams... and I do, you will love her. This is my gift to you. And you owe me.

***

Joe Pug: “Messenger”: I got hooked on him last year. This CD is better. His song writing is poignant and probing and often painful. Of the group this year I think he is the best song writer. far and away. The CD is good, song after song but the high spots for me are and were “Messenger”, “The Door Was Always Open” and “Speak Plainly Diana”. This good good stuff. This guy will be one of the greats over time and the questioning religiousity of many of his songs speaks to me like almost no one else.

***

There was other interesting stuff:

Ben Wilkins does Ben Folds" Whatever and Ever Amen" sound as well as Ben ever did. This is really a nice EP and you should listen to it.

Costello's new CD "National Ransom" is another winner and essential for someone who loves his body of work (like me).

Arcade Fires new CD is on everyone's best of list. I know it is good but I just cannot like it that much. Still I keep listening.

Avett Brothers: They continue to develop their sound and their following. "And I love You" is really solid and for an alt-country fan like me is essential but....

Elizabeth Cook...Welder. Buy it. Thank me later.

THE Cruise Day 3 and 4: We Go Somewhere

The Cruise Day 3 No Stops

You wake up on the boat. You eat. You float. Not a lot more then that happens. You notice a couple of things, or at least a copuple of things get confirmed.
1. The food is not that good
2. The food is plentiful
3. There are a shitload of people on this boat
4. Since we are not going into port anywhere they all think that they will swim and sun today.
5. Drinks are expensive
6. It kicks ass to have a room with a balcony to hide/drink on.
7. There are several pools. None of them really for swimming.
8. There are several hot tubs but none of them are that hot.

The people who are on the cruise tend to be from all over. I know it costs a lot of money to cruise but you would never know it from the people. They tend as a group to be unattractive, appear unhappy and appear pushy. They are in a word...me. I sleep a lot. I have a few Red Stripes. We go to dinner in the upscale (upcharge-CHA CHING) restaurant called Chops. The food is pretty good there. Better then the wedding fair in the main dining room. Not Smith & Wollensky's but not too far off. We go sit in the hot tub at night. Tomorrow Mayan Ruins. We go to bed.

***

Day 4: Costa Maya

Costa Maya is a made up town. Evidently the cruise lines all conspired to have a deep water port and town here because they needed one. It fir. Hurricane Dean blew through here in 2007 and leveled everything so they built a new little Branson outlet Mall complete with Senor Frogs and a Hard Rock Cafe and two other chain places and a load of jewelry stores, souvenir stands and t-shirts. Awesome. They also allow you to take a 2 dollar cab ride to town Muhahual or something. The town is like every port town we later find out with crappy shops and with people hustling you for your attentions and your dollars every step (literally every step) of the way.

We split up and Pat and I go and wait for a charter we have scheduled to go see Mayan ruins. While waiting, Pat pukes. We never determine why. We get on a bus and ride to town and hook up with a nuclear family of three from somewhere in Georgia. We all get in a mini van. The Georgia people are fat and appear (sound) stupid. The man forgot his "click camers" (I do not know what that is) on the bus so we drive back to the port.. We get the camera. The mini van we are in breaks down (equipment breakdowns seem to be THE common thread in the Caribbean). We drive 45 miles north through mango swamps and through a military check point complete with small child in fatigues carrying a machine gun. On the way our guide suggests we buy soem fresh pinapple from aroadside stand and put come chile peper on it. The fat family declines as does Pat but I do. It is VERY good.We go to ruins. The fat family keeps asking questions and "the Mayan calendar and things they heard on the discovery channel about the world ending in 2012. Based on their questions (including the fat kids questions about human sacrifice) I find myself praying it would end sooner. He shows us a town where the Mayans lived 1200 years ago and points out a face carved in the rock. The fat kid insistes that he see an entire tableaux that evidently has been missed by the thousands of people and archeoligists who have viewed it before. We go to climb one of the two large pyramids. The fat kid comes along with us while his parents sit and sweat. It is muddy. The Mayans disappeared about 1200 years ago. The fat man thinks it was aliens. I think that I would like for aliens to make me disappear. All during this time pat takes about 200 pictures of nothing. We drive back to port.

Where we find our four compatriots drinking fruity drinks out of long, plastic tuble like cups with name tags on from Senor Frogs which say things like "easy "and "Horny". I asses the situation and take a cab inbto town. Manalana is a fishing village and I saw several huge tubs on wheels filled with fresh snapper. I have cab driver take me to a bar with a dirt floor and I go in saying "cook me very fresh snapper". They nod. I insist on seeing it. They bring me out a fish that is perfect, [ink, a little sea weed in the gills and stillfresh with rigor mortis from being caught. They gut it on the bar. I am the only person in the bar. I say how much and they say 19 dollars. I have 26 dollars and it is a 3 dollar cab ride back to the boat. i ask them to throw in a beer. They agree. I sit there and watch this extended family go out to the beach and hustle people on the street but I sit in the shade sipping my Dos Equis. I explained that I just wanted the fish cooked who and as they kept offering me options and I kept declining they got happier and happier with me. They brought me another beer "no harga". Eventua;ly they brought me a beautiful (seriously beautiful fish with skin head and tail all in tact, staring up at me and screaming "EAT ME!" I did. It was awesome. I asked for a little chile and they brought me a green sauce I watched them mix up and I wanted it for side two of the fish. being smarter then I used to be I dabbed a little on a small piece of the fish and ate it... and almost passed out. Way too hot. Still...i used just a litte, folded it up in some soft corn tortillas with rice and it was awesome. It made my day. Fresh fish in a fishing village cooked on a very hot fire...to die for. I will never go to a fishing village again and not try to replicate this experience.

I went back to the boat, ate, had shots, fell asleep.

The Cruise Day 2: Bon Voyage

Royal Caribbean is a fine cruise line, not that I have any idea what I am talking about. I have never sailed on another line and the last time I was on this one was 17 years ago. They tell you not to arrive before 1:30 but we woke up bored and tired and after running to Marshalls to get some golf shirts for Pat (who seemed to pack not realizing he might need shirts...WITH COLLARS!)we left the downtown Courtyard Marriott and headed over. The cruise lines all leave from one big terminal in Miami and it is something to see several boats all tied up there in the water. i was relieved in my way of overcompensating that our boat, "The Liberty of The Seas" was the biggest. my children informed me that it currently is the 3rd largest cdruise ship around. My children are of course my children which makes them hopeless liars and over dramatizers of the "facts" in our life. I could get on Wikipedia and check their facts but lets say it was a big ass boat and leave it at that.

Arriving at the terminal we got to wait in our first line for security and then to get the passes which would allow us to charge things while on the boat. You might find it curious to charge things on the boat. Isn't everything paid for? Well, that is how they get you. Your food and lodging is all paid for but... you want a soda, you pay for it. Any kind of alcohol...pay for it. A can of Pringles..."cha ching!". Merchandise of all kinds, extra amenities and shore excursions, a massage, a shave with a straight razor, a picture of the family, an upgrade on your wine, a lost towel, pictures which are constantly being snapped by their on board phtogs... it goes on and on and you get the picture. So you wait in line and you get your card. For four of us our card was pristine. Pat's card had one punch because he was only 20 and poor Laura at 17 had the dreaded two hole punched card. Pat could gamble, but not drink. laura could do neither. Oh the humanity.

We finally got through the check in and got to our rooms. The kids were on the interior but Sandy had bucked up for a room with balcony on it for us and it was delightful. Other then the bathroom it was as large a room as a typical Holiday Inn. Very comfortable with all the amenities including mini-bar (Cha CHING again). We set off to explore the boat walking around the upper decks and seeing the pools, hot tubs, running track, health center and "Flow Rider". The Flow Rider was a 20 foot padded slope with water shooting up it allowing you to boogy board or surf if you could get the hang of it. My wife quickly discerned that we could rent exclusive use of it some time for an hour (CHA CHING and a half) and so we reserved some time for later in the week. Wednesday.

We got some lunch at the Windjammer Buffet and I found it very...food like. My kids all got hot dogs and pronounced them great and the fries...greater. I thought the food was exactly as expected, a high quantity of average food with a reasonable amount of diversity. The iced tea was instant. The pizza had that troubling too much humidity texture. Everything was buffet and at the entrance their were 4 hand santizers and everyone was admonished to use them. I am NOT a germaphobe and think this a creepy habit we have gotten our civilization into but my wife explained how paranoid ships had become about germs AND that in a buffet we all used the same serving utensils. This provided some amusement as you watch the people get the alcoholic stuff on their hands and then rub them and wave them (waving is the key) to make the stuff go away. It was a weird little dance.

I then sat in the room on my balcony and waited for us to pull out. I love the ocean and being on the 10th floor of a floating sky scraper is very, VERY cool for me. As you pull out of the Port of Miami you pass their container storage and it is kind of...wow. A lot of stuff comes in here... and goes out. You also cruise by Key Biscayne and a few other private islands. I do not live on a private island...yet. Unfortunatley next to us, divided only by a plastic divider was a crew cutted, big gunned, heavy tatted 30 something and his two kids. I am sure there was a wife in there somewhere but I never heard from her. Men who look like this... for some reason...bother me. They look like they have so much to prove. This guy looked like the asshole older brother Chet in "Weird Science" and he had a camera with one of those 10k bazooka lenses and was taking pictures and ignoring his children who were screaming constantly...DADDY...DADDY...look at this!...or THAT!...in loud..surprisingly childlike voices. If that was not annoying enough for this old man he also had an iPod player and rather then burden himself with head phones he blared bad music from the 80's and 90's. Lots of bad metal but then even more annoyingly he had the complete Sheryll Crow collection on the mix. I had to go in and close the door... sobbing quietly to myself.

We hit dinner in the main dining room. Oddly enough the captain had not seen fit to invite us to his table (an oversight I am certain). We had two waiters, one from India and one from Turkey. It was here where I started to notice that none of the cruise employees are American. They were hard to understand foreigners of all stripes. Still they were nioce although the Turk had a VERY irregularly shaped head. The food is always good on cruises but never great. It is like going to pretty good wedding reception every night. We had ordered a "wine package" which meant I got to chose from a wine list of about 20 wines every night and that was a nice upgrade. At the end of dinner we were introduced to Dexter, the shot guy. They sell a specialty shot every evening (cha ching) in a special shot glass, you get to keep. A different color every night. BRILLIANT CHA CHING!

We sent the kids on their way and Sandy and I had a night cap at "Olive Or Twists". They had a nice little combo and lounge singer. We went to bed. The ship had pulled out and the Florida Keys had trailed into the sunset before darkness gobbled the sky on our first day at sea.

The Cruise Day 1: Getting There IS Half The Fun

Soooo...It was my wifes 50th birthday coming up. She told me that she had originally scheduled the cruise before her 49th. She is a very thoughtful woman and thought a family cruise or some family vacation would be a good idea. Jon is 23, Pat 20 and Laura 17 and sooner or later they would all be going their separate ways and even if not leaving us and St. Louis would have other obligations with jobs, spouses families. Not only celebrating her birthday but the idea in my mind was a last hurrah for Beckerdom.... this little thing of ours. Perhaps as the late Hunter Thompson said, go out with a bang instead of a whimper. We had last cruised on our ten year anniversary over 17 years ago and my memory of the cruise were hazy and not altogether pleasant as it was not a particularly good time in my life for reasons which I cannot even name. Neither of us had been in a hurry to go back but where were you going to go with your family? An all inclusive really offered little other then togetherness, swimming and drinking and with two arguably under age children seemed like a poor call so, a cruise it was.

We left on a Saturday evening out of the Lou and flew into Miami bringing back some conflicted memories of a few jobs ago when I was a frequent visitor to the town. We got in around 9 and took a cab to the downtown Courtyard Mariott. It was very downtown and although not "sketchy" it did very little to encourage walking around. We took Jon's girlfriend, the lovely Lydia along with us and we decided it was not too late and we took a cab over to Southbeach. South Beach on a Saturday night around midnight is a crowded carnival of humanity and vice. Immediately a good parent wonders "what the hell am I doing here with my children?" Left without a good answer you hop out of the cab and see what is what. We walked to the ocean and Pat ad I walked in. I love the ocean. I love the smell of it and the taste of the salt but other then Pat the rest of the group was not similarly afflicted.

So we headed back to the strip and it is a STRIP. Ocean Blvd. runs along the ocean surprisingly enough and is literally lined with restaurants and clubs and all manner of humanity. Everyone is dressed to party and gays, straights, transgender, anglo, black, latino and everyone within 50 miles who can get there is wandering this strip, eating, drinking and debauching. It is loud and hosts and hostesses at each place are hawking to get you to look at their menu and have a seat. So we waked from the south end to the point where the action petered out and then walked back and found a large booth on the street at the Clevelander. There, we took it all in and there was much to take in. there was a suped up old Impala with a car alarm randomly blaring, there was a parade of people tricked out for the night, classy, slutty, sketchy, beautiful and horrid. Oh the humanity. The food at the Cleavelander was surprisingly good and we had a few beers as we watched a young man on the front porch of the hotel and his...girlfriend?...make out (and I mean make out in the most graphic, private dance, inappropriate way possible) but mainly we just watched people... and marveled at our sheltered (for me blessedly sheltered at this point) little lives.

We were also approached by a nice young African-American gentlemen who complimented on me on my family and struck up the patter of a true hustler. he was a rapper pushing his product with poorly wrapped CD's and although a little intrusive, he explained that he was doing "inspirational rap" and that he was different. I smiled as he told me his girlfriend was writing songs for Taylor Swift and he smiled when I told him that being from St. Louis we were Nelly Loyalists (and obvious lie and overplaying of my hand). I ended the standoff with him by paying him 10 bucks for his CD and he asked me to email him my comments. His name was heat Rock. I would like to say I could recommend him. They also had a cigar roller on the street and I went back and bought some cigars for the trip. They were average with a sweet wrapper but... they gave me something to smoke while on the boat and waiting to get somewhere that I could buy a Cuban (cigar, not an actual person).

I was wrong by the way about this being "how the other half lives". , this is not the other half but the other .0001 percent but God bless them all, they make out world a richer place and while exposing your children to it might not seem smart... it did seem very Becker. We were out till about 2:30 A.M. Too late for a Becker.

Book Review: Anthony Bourdain/Kitchen Confidential

Soooo... I am going on a vacation. A cruise. With my family. I will be out of touch with work and with email for a week. Not "Michigan" out of touch where I actually have internet access but Cruise Ship out of touch where I can buy expensive internet access by the hour and it is unreliable at best. I made the decision to be totally out of touch and as such knew i would need something to read. I was finishing a re-reading "Slaughterhouse Five"... so it goes... and had a plane to re-read Frank Herbert's Dune next. I think I was reliving my high school reading but lately it has occurred to me that I have read a lot of great books and retained very little from them so perhaps a time of re-reading was in order. Perhaps it would take the rest of my left.

As is so often the problem, Kowert screwed everything up. I caught up with he and Johnny Chico at the "The Sports Zone" in Shrewsbury and we eventually got down to my upcoming vacation and reading plans and he said "Anothony Bourdain". I had never heard of the guy and so I kept rolling the rrrrrr and saying to Johnny Chico...Anthuuuuuuuny Bourrrrrrrrrrrdain... as obnoxiously as possible. I rarely take anyone's advice "other then NPR and the New York Times Book Review". It is, after all, part of being a book snob. But Kowert went on and on abou the guy and about how he wrote like I wish I could I could write and Kowert... damn him... is very smart and sometimes.... insightful. It is important to have friends who care enough to tell you things they think you will like even when they know they will be met with sarcasm and contempt. I am, after all, an asshole.

So I hit the book store (always Borders, never Barnes and Noble) and after looking around a little found "Kitchen Confidential". I finished Vonnegutt on the plane and then started this book and started to laugh, smile, think about food, people, relationships and personal shortcomings... and was totally hooked. Now I owe Kowert. Now I know I will be returning to the states and buying all of his books, fiction and non fiction. It will be interesting to spend the next 6 weeks or so reading all of his stuff but I am hoping that it will feel like being 49 and discovering Hunter Thompson for the first time. This Bourdain guy seems like the real thing to me. I have been on the cruise ship and am still so I have not yet had time to go to the only trusted source for information...wikipdia, but he makes himself out to be a rich boy, prep school, Vassar drop out, asshole who got into cooking because his room mates insisted that he stop stealing from them and start paying rent when summering in Providence so he went to work as a dishwasher and fell in love with... the life.

And that is what the book is really all about. His love of the "the life". His successes, more about his failures, a little (very little ) regarding his heroin addiction (which he beats) and more about his addiction to...everything. The book is a study on how life throws so many things at you, and most of us (including him) mis-handle most of them. Bourdain does the fucking up in spades and seemingly without remorse. He moves from dishwasher, to the line, to culinary school (before it was cool) and then on to his misadventures in NYC restaurantdom. The copy I had was even better because it had an appendix and and afterword with Bourdain commenting on the book from his present pedestal (evidently he is the star of a very popular international travel show called "No Reservations". I have never seen it but trust me, I will be TiVo'ing upon my return to the states.

This was, without a doubt the most enjoyable read of the year. Entertaining and insightful and sometimes just brilliant, and that is NOT a term I throw around. Even as he is daily dealing with Ecuadorian fry cooks, drug addict bakers and backstabbing sous chefs he is smart and resilient and the life lessons he doles out are common sense even though he is constantly giving examples of his ownignoring of them. Show up on time, do not steal, do what you say you are going to do, when you make a mistake own up to it. There is no rocket science here but as the author gets his shit together as his career advances it reinforces the truth of all those maxims. It made me long for my time in high school and college working in a restaurant and when he talked about the allure of being on a pirate crew I knew exactly what he was talking about and the idea of being a chef, or captain of the pirates...is compelling. But not for me. He points out that it is a very hard life, requiring dedication and attention to details and foregoing any kind of "normal" life or relationships outside the kitchen.

My favorite part of the book was when he described his relationship with his "Sous Chef" at Les Halles which became his permanent career gig, It is touching because it is kind of a pirate love letter to his first mate and it is written with such love, such compassion and caring that even when he describes Stephen as someone "who could not look at a desk without rifling it's contents" he means it as a salute rather than as a criticism. It made me think of my best friends and wondering whether anyone outside of my wife (and perhaps not even her) could speak with such love of me. It was touching... at least for me. I normally do not go for non fiction and though he admits in the new afterword that his recitation of the books events has not always been remembered with such clarity by the other participants... it rings true, all the way through.

Buy this book if you like to eat out, if you like food but most of all buy it if you like to read really, really, funny, well written, insightful stuff. I know I am embarrassingly late on the bandwagon but Anthony Bourdain is the real thing. Go buy his books. DO IT NOW! Go on Amazon and order them, or at least this one. I am totally confident of my recommendation.

Diner Review: Mama Josephines, The Best Comfort Food In The City!

Sooooo it has come to my attention...again...pointed out by no less eminent a critic then Johnny Chico that I have been filing to Diner or even dining reviews which is of course my purpose for blogging. Instead I have been "bloviating" about politics, the budget, Lutherans, The Giving tree and CD Reviews. Wasting your time... and mine. All we really give a shit about is food. Am I right? Of course I am right.

Recently on of the Diner reviews friends, the inimitable Kevin Donaldson read a review of a place called Mama Josephines in the RFT. http://www.riverfronttimes.com/slideshow/mama-josephines-southern-home-cookin-at-its-best-30411679/. I do not spend enough time pursing the RFT reviews on line but Donaldson has an empty and vacuous life and as such he is a veritable fount of useless information. I cultivate people like this and it holds me in good stead.

So he told me about Mama Josephines, and I read the review and wow... it seemed like a perfect place. It is located on Shaw several blocks east of the Botanical Gardens. it is not a perfect neighborhood and it is very close to the highway. Still it is a neighborhood that is struggling to make a come back. It was a little bit of a chilly day and Donaldson brought his partner who will remain nameless (primarily due to the fact that he arrived in a KIA). I was late and called in my apologies and asked what was on the menu and Donaldson hooked me up directly with the proprietor. Mary spoke with a nice Louisiana drawl and was charming and when she told me that they had home made chicken fried steak. I arrived as the food arrived and it was succulent. When you get chicken fried steak in the Lou we often end up with frozen patties and even more obscenely they are often dropped in a deep frier. This was perfectly hand breaded around a perfect piece of meat. The white cream gravy was also home made and perfect with some fries. It was awesome. They also brew their own iced tea.

Mary served the three of us as we sat outside (which will probably be out of the question now that it is November. My compatriots had the fried chicken which was awesome and they came with sides like green beans and mashed potatoes and corn bread. I also had the corn bread and it was the only minor disappointment being a little dry. It was the only thing I had or sampled that did not make me think that it was made especially for me while I waited. They also had the chicken and dumplings which had a nice broth and huge soft dumplings that made a perfect paste of chicken, pasta and broth. It really was perfect. The whole meal was almost unstoppably perfect so. They offered a great deal of home made deserts as well. I felt like I had to come back and so I did and I had the fried chicken this time and my guest had the chicken fried steak. They were both perfect again.

When mary was waiting on us she told the charming story of being raised in the restaurant business and then her parents not allowing her to pursue "the life" but she got to an age and just wanted to do this, for herself, for her mother and, well, for all of us. Donaldson mentioned to me that the food is under priced and I agree with him. I am concerned the place is not going to be open long despite the fabulous food and the charming owner. I need to get back there to try their Philly Cheese Steak, their fish, their pulled pork, their angus burger and everything else on menu. I would STRONGLY suggest you join me. Remember, eating at chain restaurants is a crime against St. Louis. The next thing you know you will confusing Mc Rib for food.

http://www.mamajosephines.com/Menu.html

In Praise Of The Brave: Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson

Two Old White Guys Do Good!


Two guys who I have never heard of became my heroes this week by betraying their parties to present something….”gasp” together from their position as Co-Chairman of The Presidents (yes that President) bi-partisan debt reduction commission. Bi-Partisan has become a sad joke with members of the world’s most deliberative bosy (the U.S. Senate) not even speaking across party lines. Taking a page from that great American leader Dick Cheney, “your either with us or against us”. Brilliant! The republicans of course blame Obama, Pelosi and Reid for shoving legislation down their throat. The idea that the election two years ago gave them a mandate to do so is forgotten in the miasma of the new mandate from this election.

And that is OK. Elections do indeed have consequences. But somehow the idea that our two parties cannot work together on anything is pathetic and debilitating to a democracy. Now the talking heads on FOX have explained to me that this election was about over spending, gays in the military, the sanctity of marriage, Obama Care, progressivism, BIG government, taxation, blah, blah, blah. The election was about two things, jobs and the economy. And although no one could have done any better in turning that around, it has become Obama’s recession and we can all wring our liberal hands about how unfair that is but we all need to grow up. It is Obama’s recession because he was captain of the ship who took over after the storm hit but it was still his job to convince the crew that he could steer back on course. He blew that. But I doubt seriously that anyone could have done better.

So forgetting about all the social issues related to related politics, the self righteous over spending Republicans, having been given religion by the Tea Party wing of their party found a new passion for not mortgaging our children’s future! The hypocrisy of this cannot be avoided since they have dominated the White House for 20 of the last 32 years and had control of both houses as well for the first 6 years of the Bush administration and presided over the hugest deficits in history. But now it is different. So they got elected saying they are going to cut, cut, CUT, spending, spittle flying from their mouths at the lectern. And they are more than willing to tell you WHAT they will cut. NPR FUNDING! Well that’s about 100 bucks. When pressed for cuts to the entitlement programs and military programs they talk about cutting waste. When talking about medicare cuts they talk about plaintiff’s lawyers. They nibble at the crust and refuse to tell us the truth.

What is the truth? The truth is that we have all enjoyed government benefits and tax relief. Our social security and medicare systems are broke. We cannot afford the benefits and support being paid to our parents but God forbid anyone ever speak the truth. We also cannot afford to fund a BIG bulky military and justify it by “the war on terror”. I am not suggesting that we gut the military but the way we are spending money related to the threats we face is obscene, short sighted and apparently unproductive. The war on terror is almost as effective as the war on drugs. Almost. Sigh. So God bless these guys, a republican and a Democrat. Here is what they laid out for us with my first blush reaction:

Increase the Social Security retirement age by one month every two years after it reaches 67 under current law. It would reach 68 around 2050 and 69 around 2075. Hate it but we probably have to do this right now and not phase it in.
-Lower cost-of-living increases. Hate it. This will put a lot of pressure on older people on fixed incomes who did not save enough and count on government as primary support.
-Gradually raise the threshold on the amount of income subject to the Social Security payroll tax. I do not know exactly what this means. Speak English.
-Give retirees the choice of collecting half their benefits early and the other half at a later age. I do not understand what this does for deficit reduction so…don’t understand it.
TAXES
-Overhaul individual income taxes and corporate taxes. For individuals and families, eliminate a host of popular tax credits and deductions, including the child tax credit and the mortgage interest deduction. Significantly reduce income tax rates, with the top rate dropping to 23 percent from 35 percent. This does not go far enough. Tax code must be scrapped. Give it a sunset date 5 years from now so businesses and individuals can plan and not be penalized too badly for their past reliance on loop holes. This is a very minor start. DO MORE HERE!
-Reduce the corporate income tax rate to 26 percent from 35 percent, and stop taxing the overseas profits of U.S.-based multinational corporations. I do not get how this helps but if it pleases big business and their lobbyists perhaps it is supposed to stimulate jobs, economic activity and income.
-Increase the gas tax by 15 cents a gallon to fund transportation programs. Yes. Our gas price is held artificially low by the way we subsidize the industry and fail to tax it. It costs a lot to drive but we do not want to pay it. It is a start.
DOMESTIC SPENDING
-Freeze Defense Department salaries and bonuses for three years, and noncombat military pay at 2011 levels for three years. Double Defense Secretary Robert Gates' proposed cuts in defense contracting. Reduce overseas bases by one-third, cut spending for base support and integrate children in military families into local schools. YES.
-Eliminate noncompetitive spending bills known as "earmarks." YES although I truly believe this is ONLY a political issue. The spending is already authorized by our big bloated government, this is just the pigs at the trough divvying up the corn cobs but why not make it a public process?
-End grants to large and medium-sized hub airports; require airports to fund a larger portion of the cost of aviation security. Makes sense. Free market, capitalism and all that.
-Cut funding for the public broadcasting. Fine. I like NPR, have no use for PBS but I should pay for what I use.
Reduce congressional and White House budgets by 15 percent, freeze federal compensation at non
defense agencies for three years, cut the federal work force by 10 percent, eliminate 250,000 non-
defense contractors and end money for commercial space flight. YES. Oh and lets add one, eliminate congresses health care system.

HEALTH CARE
-Limit or eliminate altogether the tax-free status of employer-provided health benefits, providing incentives for people to enroll into cost-conscious insurance plans. This should be part of simplifying the tax code. Why do we use the tax code to encourage or discourage behavior. Every Libertarian, Tea Party Patriot and Republican should revolt against tax benefits for anyone or anything. Let individuals decide. Let the market decide. Will it be painful? Absolutely.
-Limit annual cost increases for Medicare and Medicaid, the giant health federal care programs, to no more than 1 percent above the growth rate of the economy. This would be accomplished by rewarding quality instead of sheer volume, demanding rebates from drug companies that want to participate in Medicare and raising cost-sharing for Medicare recipients while limiting their out-of-pocket costs. Good luck, but I applaud the effort. This is the only touchy feely part of this thing.
-Cap jury awards in malpractice cases. I do not believe this has anything to do with health care costs at this point. As a lawyer with many friends who are plaintiff lawyers and defense lawyers, tort reform has already worked. In Missouri there is no industry in this business anymore and even southern Illinois has been cleaned up a lot. Why not do it but once again, shouldn’t my Tea party Patriots and States rights people be up in arms about this invasion on State’s rights? Maybe Mississippi is happy with having law suits be 1/3 of its State economy.

Boy there is a lot of stuff that I hate there. But is has to be shared suffering. This all looks like a great start to me. I hate a lot of it but I am not that crazy about being a grown up and this is all grown up stuff. So here is to Erskine Bowles and Alan Simpson. Maybe we can all do something good together. Now that would be hopey changie stuff I could get behind.

REFORMATION DAY!

I cannot post this picture enough. I wonder if it looks anything like him. So lets take a little break from politics today and enjoy the day.







Soooo...Reformation Day. Reformation for Lutherans is kind of like Mardi Gras is for drunks and losers. We can get lost in it. Even without beads and floats and lots of booze. My wife loves Reformation. I have a complicated relationship with it but we come from a shared heritage of Lutheran grade schools where our tutelage was under a bunch of semi-psychotic, German Lutheran women and a couple of men and a few Pastors. All of these people were products of the various "Concordia" Universities, normally from River Forest in Chicago or from some back water place in Nebraska. They were devout people. Christian people...deeply troubled people.

Each year when the rest of the world and all of our friends were getting psyched up for Halloween we would be in dark classrooms watching film strips (does anyone remember film strips?) or black and white movies on a projector (these projectors were about he same size as a 350 V-8 engine and were rolled around on audio visual carts and had a light bulb in them that you could easily heat a room with). The film strips all showed Luther with his Monks haircut. His hard child hood (abuse implied but never confirmed) his father pressuring him to go into the law but being caught under a large tree in a Lightning storm where Luther cries out "St. Anne save me! I will become a monk." And so the die was cast.

Luther is obviously very full of himself and a good talker and makes some friends in high places. In the mean time the Pope and his people are busy building St. peters cathedral and it is badly over budget and they are taxing the hell out of everyone, including some German nobles. Now the way we learned it they befriended Luther and he began to question the papacy, the Priesthood being intercessors and of course the selling of indulgences to gain favor with God and get yourself or a loved one out of purgatory and into heaven. I know enough now to understand that is our version of history. Now my best guess is that those germans were sick to death of their Italian brethren calling shots and invoking the Holy See whenever they complained. This Luther fellow was their ticket out...oh and his theology was good to.

So Luthger nails his 95 Theses to the door of the Cathedral in Wittenberg. The Church comes after him. He is hidden and protected and ultimately the catholic church loses a lot of folks. Calvin and Henry the 8th got busy and the printing press helped spread the word. The Catholic Church which had guarded the Bible as something to only be understood by the learned stood by helplessly like the record companies did when music started being free on the internet. the Protestant church in all of it's balkanized glory, moved off on 100 new paths. He posted his Theses on October 31, All Saints Day.

Anyway, we love reformation. being a Lutheran has given me a special understanding of God's Grace as it relates to all of us but especially to me. The message of the Lutherans through reformation can be summed up as, we are saved by grace alone, through faith alone, because Christ died for us on the cross, which is declared through the Scriptures alone. I have always shortened it to the fact that someone like me can be saved through God's Grace and God's Grace alone. I can do nothing towards my own salvation. It has all been done for me.

So we love Reformation. We sing "A Mighty Fortress Is Our God" in all of it's teutonic stomp. We sing it poorly. We sing it with Spirit. Maybe somewhere Luther smiles.

Election Update

A Few Thoughts as we approach election day.
1. Restoring Sanity Rally: I am cautiously optimistic that we might see some funny clips on. This is entertainment. If you get political guidance from Comedy Central you are not getting the joke. If their jokes offend you... don't watch.

2. Election is Tuesday and I do care and I will vote. They always throw all those Judicial Names at you to vote for retention. Our Missouri Vourt plan for how we select Judges is a model in the country which big money wants to buy. Lets keep the faith but lets also get rid of bad judges. Not because of their politics, but because they are bad Judges. I will not name names but the Missouri Bar, plaintiff, defendant, criminal and divorce lawyers rate these Judges and their ratings that i am familiar with track with my own thoughts. http://www.mobar.org/data/judges10/stlcounty.htm Go read this stuff. Be informed.

3. The ballot otherwise has two propositions and 3 Constitutional amendments. It is amazing about special interests and the things that rise to the level of Constituionally needed. Really?
Amendment 1 to make County Assessor an elected position. Really? We need another election in each County? the Counties cannot manage themselves? We need to put big money is a position to hire our assessor as well as our alderman, our supervisor, our mayor, our court clerk, our dog catcher...lets do a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT to elect the Mayors Secretary. That bitch has a lot of power (if it is a woman... in any case I guess I am sexist).
Amendment 2. Prisoners of war should not have to pay property taxes on their houses. I have no problem with this, who would? Still, a Constitutional Amendment? I do not mean to discount their suffering. I have never met a POW and I cannot imagine what they went through but if your going to do this then what about the surviving spouses of those who died? Once again, this is an inappropriate thing to amend the Constitution for.
Amendment 3 Attempts to make a law which will not allow theState, County or local governments to tax sales of real estate. There is no current sales tax on real estate in our State but we need to pass a CONSTITUTIONAL AMENDMENT TO MAKE SURE THEY DONT! DON'T TREAD ON YOUR REAL ESTATE AGENTS LOBBY! Once again, totally inappropriate to put this kind of special interest bullshit in the State Constitution. Voting against all three.

4. On that same note how come the ORIGINAL INTENT people are never concerned about the original intent of the geniuses who wrote the Missouri Constitution?

5.. Propositions A&B. Lets all vote on how Kansas City and St. Louis fund themselves because they cannot take care of themselves. lets help them and make them change how they fund themselves. I am voting against this one. I do not live there or work there but I have. I paid my 1%. I enjoyed very little benefit but a dead, confused City does nothing for me downtown. It is NONE of my business how another jurisdiction taxes people. B is on puppy mill regulation. I love animals, especially dogs and have 2 rescue dogs. This is more regulation and more costs. If you do not want puppy mills, buy a mutt. Make animal abuse a serious crime. Oh...opur legislature could do that. Bottom line is that I am voting against both. Hey! I could jopin the party of no.

6. Glenn Becks brother Jerry, a true ditto head (oops wrong demagogue) is running for Senator against Blunt and Carnahan. Blunt of course is a family man and a Christian man who formerly carried water for Tom(The Hammer) delay who will go on trial next week and hopefully become Tom (The Felon) Delay. He is on his second wife and family and his wife is a high powered Lobbyist because Senators do not have enough money and power so why not double dip. Robin Carnahan? Really? this is the best we can do? My only comfort is that Blunt will be replacing the do nothing drunk Kit Bond.

7. Congressman for 3rd District... I cannot cheer or vote for Ed Nelson. He seems at best unstable and at worst dangerous. He was former strong man, bag man and enforcer from Matt (I don't want to be governor if people want my private emails) Blunt. He got the guy who blew the whistle on Blunt fired and cost the state several hundred thousand in legal fees. Russ carnahan is not as tough as Robin but I like his Liberal voting record so I will vote for him. He will lose.

8. County Supervisor: Dooley is going to lose. Bank on it. I am voting for Corrigan. I do not like his adds or his tactics but he is inevitable. I also think he might to a really good job. I do not think Dooley has done a bad job, I just think it is a bad year to be an incumbent and he has not established much of a legacy. I did like him giving my daughter a leadership award but...Corrigan is inevitable.

9. Republicans will win more then anyone expects. I am praying that they take control of the house and the Senate so they can shut up. I know they will start to whine regarding the President Veto but evidently the all powerful Democrats totally undermine the country in the two hears they had the majority with Bush having the Veto.

10. I am pleading with Liberals, Democrats and Progressives and everyone else, get out and vote, even if you vote for Republicans. But after you vote do not whine! You must not whine! If you do that you will start sounding like all those angry, white middle classed men who have been so oppressed by the government. No one wants that.

11. I am pleading with Republicans, conservatives, tea party people everywhere to GO VOTE! Then you can gloat but try and only do it for a month. Remember the Pelosi gloating about the new coalitions and the death of the Republican Party. The winds will blow the other way and it might happen sooner then you think. Enjoy your victory, in the case of the Tea Party I can actually say you have earned it. In the case of the Republican Party I can only say you bought it, but still, those are the rules.

Poisoning Our Children!: “The Giving Tree”

It has recently come to my attention that the Progressives have planted a time bomb in almost every pre-school across this great land and more importantly this same IED is in our own children’s rooms IN OUR OWN HOMES! Marx had “Das Kapital” and Mao had his “Little red Book” but these were mere play things compared with the insidious AND SECRET poisoning of our precious children’s young and impressionable minds with the book, “The Giving Tree”. *Although you cannot see it in the blogosphere I am pulling out my chalk board to diagram this for you. I want to make this totally FAIR AND BALANCED (TM Fox News) and even though I am an entertainer and not a journalist, I will report… you decide.*

First Published in 1964 (drawing in large numbers on the chalkboard 1-9-6-4) by “Shel” (smirking at his name) Silverstein (drawing on the board in small but insistent letters (them what killed our Lord) a noted cartoon pornographer, well known for his drawings for PLAYBOY (writing PORNO) in frighteningly large letters on black board, Silverstein penned the tome was published by Harper Brothers publishing which was of course formed in 1817 exactly 100 years prior to the time of the Bolscheveik Revolution (writing “Commies” in cursive). The publishing company now owned by genius philanthropist and all around nice guy and former Australian Rupert Murdoch who purchased it likely to keep it from being a mouthpiece for communist ideals.

That the book was published in 1964 is of course… no accident. The book was a direct response to the Glorious announcement of Barry Goldwater that he was going to run for President and was timed to coincide with Socialist Sympathizer Lyndon Baines Johnsons “War on Poverty”. (Writing the word “conspiracy” with big question mark behind it). I say conspiracy because that is not all that happened in 1964. No there was a LOT of things going on in 1964...*starting to write on the board with much agitation*..."Let me list a few of the "coincidences from NINE TEEN SIXTY FOUR!
1. The U.S. Senate votes cloture of the Civil Rights Bill after a 75-day filibuster.
2. President Lyndon Johnson signs the Civil Rights Act of 1964 into law, abolishing racial segregation in the United States.
3. The Final Looney Tune, "Señorella and the Glass Huarache", is released before the Warner Bros. Cartoon Division is shut down by Jack Warner.
4. The Warren Commission Report, the first official investigation of the assassination of United States President John F. Kennedy, is published. and most ominously!
5. American civil rights movement leader Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. becomes the youngest recipient of the Nobel Peace Prize, which was awarded to him for leading non-violent resistance to end racial prejudice in the United States.

So into this very...VERY dark time we are supposed to assume that this pornographer, Shel Silverstein just happens to write this deeply subversive tome? I don't think so.

Life is full of coincidences... for idiots!

The book itself shrouds its message in an apparently innocuous tale of a small boy and a tree. The boy appears as a metaphor for the solid American boys everywhere espousing values of consumerism and adventure (an exceptional American) and the tree, innocently enough appears to give, over and over again (in a thinly veiled tribute to the socialist goals for the American State.) Lets look more closely at the text.

Originally the boy is happy. he loves the tree and the tree loves the boy... but sooner or later the boy wants money. *drawing hastily a tree with dots on it signifying apples...a big bushy tree with branches and huge trunk. The boy wants to be self reliant. The boy wants to learn how to fish. But what does the insidious tree (The centrally planned Obama State of the Progressives do?) it offers it's apples. Sapping the boy of all ingenuity and self reliance it gives him apples like the socialist Obama State gives food stamps.*Taking eraser and dabbing at each dot as he speaks until there is no more apparent fruit on the tree*.

No one can be surprised when this is not enough for the boy. now that he has been weened onto the teat of the socialist State he is...yes...ENTITLED to more.

He comes back...after a LONG time. And not surprisingly he is unhappy. VERY unhappy. he needs more and what does he need? Housing. Sewing the seeds section 8 housing the socialist State tree gives the poor boy it's branches so he can build a house Boy takes branches this is of course a veiled referenced to the for seen Sudanese crisis of gathering firewood but then...he just needed tree subsidized housing and then he would be happy. BUT HE WAS NOT HAPPY! *angrily erasing the branches and leaves off of the tree leaving a fat telephone pole of a naked tree trunk*.

The boy comes back again after a very long time and the socialist State Obama Tree tries to inveigle him with "come and play". The boy of course having been robbed of his self reliance and instincts needs more support. Now he takes the trunk so that he can build a boat. Likely a boat so that he can trade in the one world economy dominated by the United Nations! And the boy takes the trunk... the wood he did not work or sweat for and so could not appreciate and builds a boat to sail away and perhaps do trade deals with the Chinese. Who knows... we are only left to speculate. What is clear is that boy likely took good jobs overseas while letting immigrants take the jobs back here in our country. he might have even fathered an anchor baby. Who knows...who knows indeed? *sadly and slowly erasing the trunk down to a stump*

Finally the boy comes home again. Broken...sad and lonely.
I don't need very much now," said the boy,
"Just a quiet place to sit and rest. I am very tired."
"Well," said the tree, straightening herself up as much as she could,
"Well, an old stump is good for sitting and resting. Come, Boy, sit down. Sit down and rest."
And the boy did.

And the tree was happy.

And here is the final lie. Even after the tree has totally robbed the boy of everything...the tree is not happy but is satisfied, now that the boy has no life, no dreams and no hope...he can just sit and be a further drain on society and the socialist state tree comforts him and lets the poor "tired" child who has never worked for anything..."rest".

The over arching message is that the progressive Agenda provides everything. Individuals need do nothing but sit and make demands and wait to be provided for. *tearing up*..."I promised myself I would not cry but...*the camera panning out*...I just cannot live with what they have done...through this sick little book...to our children. *Panning in directly on my face as I boil into righteous...teary rage*...

So go into your house and get that book and BURN IT! Write your school boards and principals and demand that the book be removed...and burned...BURNED like a Koran or Quoran! Burn the book and keep it away from our kids... for their sake...for all our sakes! Do it now...oh....and buy gold."

Tune in tomorrow when we unmask the progressive homosexual agenda of "James And The Giant Peach"! Oh The Humanity.

Election Irritability: What Program Will You Cut and How Much?

Soooo....one week to go. As regular readers (and I do thank all 7 of you) know I have been rather silent lately. Part of the reason has to do with starting a new law practice and traveling a lot like I do not even need to make a living. Trips to Austin, Cancun, Michigan etc... leave little contemplative time and when coupled with trying to work enough to keep body and soul together there is very little time to watch and observe food, travel, music, life and of course politics. Which brings us to the real reason I have not written...politics.

We are just coming off the long dark tea time of the NPR pledge drive where I listen to Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Jamie Allman... the angry cynical chick on talk radio around lunch... and the whole sick experiment has left me even more tired then ususal and more hopeless then I have felt since the start of W's second term. Never has the discourse been so vile, low, stupid and without hope and all of this in the greatest country in the world.

Roy Blount and June Carnahan... What programs are you going to cut and how much? And don't tell me healthcare... it has not brought us here.

I feel for the arguments that are supposed to be at the core of the tea party. Smaller government. Living within our means and self reliance are all great traditional American values. Not religious values but really, REALLY good things. But seriously, where were you fucking people when Ronald Reagan, Bush the Elder and the born again moderate Bill Clinton and then Dubya were ramping up spending at a monstrous level and even Saint Reagan increasing governments size and budget deficit (with the exception of a few Clinton years every year? And every year we elect the same people who say "I am going to cut waste and fraud". That is bullshit. The political class makes it's bones every day on waste and fraud. THEY NEVER CUT WASTE AND FRAUD! But we are going to elect Christine O'Donnell and re-elect Michelle Bachman and elect that crazy chick running in Arizona because these people are serious? These are the ones who will do it?

Ed Martin and Russ Carnahan, what programs are you going to cut and how much? Ed, I don't care that you were a politcal fixer for a governor who was smart enough to quit before his secrets made him a target and Russ... well Russ, i do not care about you at all.

I want to believe it. I am a bleeding heart liberal. My religion causes me to think that Jesus would want all people to have health care (even illegal aliens) but I know the government cannot afford it, anymore then it can afford wars of choice in the middle east. I like health care more then war with a couple of trillion but it is not affordable and sustainable BUT if we can send a few thousand American boys off to be killed and in the process destabelize a region so hundreds of thousands of their people can be killed and they can legitimately blame us for it while paying trillions to do it... I will take health care (even for illegal aliens).

And now we have this silly, silly election. In my life they have always said the same thing about election cycles. In every non presidential election 40% of the country dictates their displeasure and in the next election cycle 60% decide they did not like what the 40%. Well we are in a 40% year. I will vote but many of the crazies who voted for Obama will not come out and cheer for their local congressman and Senators. I do not blame them. they are an uninspiring bunch. the only thing less inspiring is their Republican dopplegangers who are there to rescind, remand, undo, unfund and stop Obama Care. Reinstitute tax breaks for everyone and shut down government. That will work well. The minute someone's mom misses a social security check... heads will roll.

And therein lies the lie of the tea party. They want to cut government but not the government that serves them. they decry socialism but take social security, unemployment, medicare and every tax break they are entitled to and they ARE entitled to their breaks. But the others...the LAZY ones who "take advantage" of the system.... their support needs to be cut. If smaller government is the goal (and it is an honorable goal) there is only only question EVERY candidate should be asked. Which programs will you cut and by how much? The follow up being if you are going to cut taxes what dollar for dollar cuts will you make in programs to justify those cuts. But forget the follow up. Ask you candidate, which programs will you cut and how much? Which programs will you cut and how much? Which programs will you cut and how much? (Repetition is a rhetorical device). If they cannot answer and if they answer with bullshit platitudes like they are going to stop earmarks and cut waste and fraud... then they are the frauds. Call them out. Republicans, Democrats, a pox on both their houses. I will vote Democrat again and hold my nose because their politics seem slightly less stupid, slightly less selfish in concept and frankly slightly less mean.

20 years of Republicans enlarging of government (the last 20) but it takes a black President to unite the anger over big government and the self righteous bullshit about selling out our kids futures. Now the Tea Party wants us to believe that their politicians have gotten religion. Being co-opted by the Republican party illegitimizes their goals. I get the anger, I am angry too, but until our culture changes, the institutions cannot change. Changes at the top are pure laziness. If you cannot pull our country together by it's core values of inclusion, hard work, charity, self reliance and compassion then we will keep electing leaders who reflect our broken sense of values.

Change youself and become a better person. train your kids to be better persons, discuss being a better person with your friends and what you (and they) can do to make a better Country. Then our leadership can make a meaningful change. In the interim...ask these hypocritical son's of bitches...which program would you cut and how much? Then wait for a real answer.

And Another Ones Gone...CD Reviews of Neil Young's Le Noise and Old 97's Grand theatre Volume One

Soooo...I fear that I may have purchased my last CD. This grieves me as i remember Jackson Browne's ode to his father which included the line, "make room for my 45's, along beside your 78's nothing survives... but the way we live our lives." Gosh, remember when Jackson Browne had anything interesting to say or observe, back before he beat up Daryl Hannah? That was a long time ago. I have a large CD collection but it is not an oppressively large collection. My music purchases have declined as I become more and more out of touch and irrelevant and buy more and more through iTunes. And there is at least one of the rubs. I am a fan of certain artists and I am a completist, almost obsessively regarding the artists I consider essential to my snobbish, boorish, elitist, disdainful and ultimately sad musical tastes.

So when Neil Young releases a critical well reviewed CD and my stalwart if somewhat predictable icons the Old 97's both release CD's within days of one another I have to resist the urge to download and go out... to a store... with people... and buy the CD. This is even more complicated by the fact that due to my elitist disease i cannot go to Walmart or even Target and buy a CD but i have to support our local record stores... all two of them. I know there are more but stores like that one down on Cherokee are way too cool for me. I am after all, old. So I herded myself down to Euclid records (which is close) and found both CD's and... HOLY SHIT! Both CD's are $17.99... EACH! Are you shitting me?

I can buy either of the CD's on iTunes for $9.99. What do I lose? The packaging? The CD format has limited dramatically thevalue of packaging. Albums were works of art and love and contained a wealth of information written in a font size that was legible, even for old people. they were pretty. I will treasure my 300 albums more then I can ever cherish my 1000 or so Cd's. So I guess what I am saying is that I am going to sit on my completist fetish and... perhaps never buy another CD. God, that Kills me.

So quickly, "Le Noise". It is worth the critical acclaim. It is Young playing alone with Daniel Lanois production which is sparse but rather then take the Rick Rubin approach of acoustic minimalism Lanois lets Young stretch out with electric guitar, effect and his laconic, atonal vocals and although I have only listened twice... this is a really good CD and easily a top 10 Neil CD. Nuff said.

The Old 97's Grand theatre CD... it is more ofthe same. if you love Rhett Miller and his pop sensibilities it is a must buy but as with almost all the band's CD's, no new ground is broken here. I love it but i am a fan. That is the only reason to buy it.

but if you buy them...buy them both on iTunes or even better, pick out the best tracks on each CD and just buy those. "The times, they are a changing". Or perhaps they have already changed.

Lutherans...Pan Lutherans

Soooo... I am sorry for my absence. I changed law firms and then for some reason changed passwords and lost control of my blog momentarily. I have had a great month practicing law on my own but the transition effects.... the little things... like my blog. All fixed now. So when I have been thrashing around over the last month I have got to spend some time with some of my favorite Lutherans plugging in and reconnecting. It is such a reaffirming thing because of course the people I am attracted to are people who think a lot like me and they are in the main stream but so far out of the accepted mainstream of my denomination as to not even be discussed.

As a result of this what I want to do is start a blog called Pan-Lutheran where we Lutherans can band together rather then falling apart. Because that is what we are doing. Falling apart. When I grew up I was Lutheran Church Missouri Synod and we were the dominant Lutheran body in America. Then the two other groups, The Lutheran Church in America and The Evangelical Lutheran Church joined forces in the Evangelical Lutheran Church and became the biggest. Now the ELCA is splintering because the heads of their church condone gays in ministry. At the same time, my church, the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod has chosen an extremely conservative President who might force me out of my church.

This all makes me very sad. Lutherans come out of the Reformation as followers of Martin Luther. Although he wrote some crazy (or crazed) stuff in his later years he was a thoughtful, intelligent person. He never wanted to part from the Catholics because he understood how damaging it would be over all for the Church but... that is what happened. Protestantism resulted with a hundred (or more) different non Catholic Christian Churches and now the Lutheran Church itself has splintered into more then a dozen different groups all claiming to be the true inheritor of Luther's vision.

It all makes me sick. Luther was a man. As a man he identified problems with the Catholic church as it existed in the 1500's. I think he was right, but I have been taught he was right. The legacy he left me is that there is nothing I can do towards my own salvation. I am saved by God's Grace and by God's Grace alone. I cannot earn my way into heaven. I cannot be a better Christian then other people. I am saved and because I am saved...if I believe that, I am obligated to try (and fail) to emulate Christ and his ministry, which was to save ALL people.

Somehow this has been lost or perverted. Well intentioned, smart people believe that they understand God's will in our life better or true-er then other people which causes them to separate from the others for the sake of doctrinal purity or their own agenda. Right now my LCMS has been taken over by "Confessional" Lutherans who adhere to the Book of Concord and other writings of Luther, eschewing other views on those writings. To me these people are like the "strict constructionists" who interpret our Constitution. I mean the US Constitution, divining the founding fathers intent. These Lutheran's divine Luther's vision and all I have to say is...he was just a man. A brilliant, troubled man.

The ElCA is also polarized in it's own ranks because the leadership is taking a social/agendaized stand and admitting gays into the the called ministry positions in the Church. So there conservatives member have pulled back.

What I want to say to all these people is stop! We are weaker separated then we are united. I can (and do) pray and worship with people who do not believe as I do. I am a "bad" Missouri Synod Lutheran but I am a Missouri Synod Lutheran even though I have sincere doubts about significant (divisive) parts of our doctrine. I do not force my views on others. In fact i do not even talk about it because the people at my church are remarkable people and i am proud to worship with them whether I agree with them or not. If my Church becomes more conservative it will be hard to stay but i will try, because I love my Church.

In the great commission Christ tells the disciples to"Go therefore, making disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Instead we quibble over man made, and defined doctrine. I just want to say, "stop it" and "shame on you". I know your intentions are good, whether on the conservative or liberal side but we have a great, dying Church which needs our help.

Lutherans are some of the best people I know. I would name some great Pan-Lutheran organizations but the politics of my church is poisonous enough that I know to name them, might be to damn them. So...look for my new web site. PanLutheran.com. Maybe we can hold a group of well intentioned people united around Christ's commands rather then around man made doctrine and we can do some good before we fade away. Or maybe not. But I will try.

Book Review: Jonathan Franzen: Freedom

Books....yes... books are supposed to be good. People used to read them. Fiction (for those of you who do not know "fiction" is a term where people make up a story and it is not necessarily a self help book, or a tell all, or anything based in the real world. people used to read fiction. Books like "Old Man And The Sea" and "The Great Gatsby" and "To Kill A Mockingbird" were formerly taught in our schools and were considered... I don't know required reading for intelligent conversations. That was a long time ago. "One Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest" and other books were debated. they were not Korans yet people felt the need to discuss burning them for their..."ideas".

Fortunately, those days are gone. Every "successful" man I have known for the last 20 years has proudly told me "I don't have time to read fiction." They have dug in and read books about management, marketing, time useage, economics, motivation.... and on and on. It is all claptrap. It can all be found in the Bible but the Bible is too hard to read so they get fed bits of the truth that they can digest, implement...and disregard.

Fiction on the other hand forces you to pay attention. Look for nuances. try and think about what you read and perhaps what they are trying to show you... has nothing to do with making money or acquiring material goods. Then we have Jonathan Franzen. He wrote book 9 years ago called "The Corrections" about a mid American family. The book was awesome. Ophra loved it and then disdained it and took it off her book list. It was a really good book and got as lot of acclaim as it walked you through a midwestern family. It lost the National Book Award to Richard Russo and although I love Richard Russo... Franzen should have gotten it for "The Corrections". It was an awesome book. There were so many times, and situations where you wer reading and said... "thats me". A lot of aha moments and it said so much about vacuous consumerism, self involvement and ultimately the complexity and beauty of families and the human situation.

Nine years later he wrote the same book with a different family. Again... it is awesome. It is the same book and it is awesome all over again. Every nine years we need another book about a complex, extraordinary, unhappy family. This time the themes are slightly different. Greed, environmentalism, Alterna-Country music, the Bush administration and ultimately over population. It gets really heavy into over population at the end. He takes us through a nice couple in St. Paul Minnesota who gentrifies a neighborhood with him working and her being super mom and house wife.... and everything goes south for the next 25 years.

It is a really good book and a great read. Sure, he wrote it before and updated it but damn... this boy can writer. Buy it, read it, own it... or borrow it from me.

Franzen's writing tips:

The reader is a friend, not an adversary, not a spectator.
Fiction that isn't an author's personal adventure into the frightening or the unknown isn't worth writing for anything but money.
Never use the word "then" as a conjunction – we have "and" for this purpose. Substituting "then" is the lazy or tone-deaf writer's non-solution to the problem of too many "ands" on the page.
Write in the third person unless a really distinctive first-person voice ­offers itself irresistibly.
When information becomes free and universally accessible, voluminous research for a novel is devalued along with it.
The most purely autobiographical fiction requires pure invention. Nobody ever wrote a more auto biographical story than " The Metamorphosis ".
You see more sitting still than chasing after.
It's doubtful that anyone with an internet connection at his workplace is writing good fiction (the TIME magazine cover story detailed how Franzen physically disables the Net portal on his writing laptop).
Interesting verbs are seldom very interesting.
You have to love before you can be relentless.