With our heads in the clouds, just a little off course
I left the motor running, now if you're feeling down and out
Come on Baby drive south, with the one you love
Come on Baby drive south, with the one you love”-Drive South by John Hiatt
Soooo…. I am used to being lied to. The government...Lawyers…. as a younger man occasionally women and certainly by my children. Still, even at 53, even after watching Missouri’s Republican Legislature for several years, I can be shocked by the lies I am confronted with even (GASP!) on the Internet. That is right, lies on Al Gore’s own Internet!
Perhaps the rest of you have not had these occasions and if you have avoided the heartless cruelty of being misled on line I urge you to close your computer browser now and keep it closed forever to avoid the heartache which has indeed cut me so close to the bone.
As some of you might know I have a penchant for tamales. Going to school in Texas we would drive north to a place called Picks Tamales in Ardmore Oklahoma. We would drive north and get a sack (about 40) and a case of beer and drive back to Fort Worth. Tamales in St. Louis are limited to the ones you can find at good Mexican Restaurants that have popped up around town over the last 10 years. Cherokee Street and Overland have places and I am told about a place called Mamis down on Bayless that I have not tried https://plus.google.com/116281950888952263616/about?gl=us&hl=en
but generally the tamales tend to be fairly bland but are given flavor by the tomatillo or other suaces that they come with. This had driven me to make my own tamales from a web recipe which have been excellent although time consuming to make and also of the same masa heavy (though mine are spicy) recipe.
http://www.sonofthesouth.net/tamales/Gather_Tamale_Ingredients.htm
http://www.sonofthesouth.net/tamales/Gather_Tamale_Ingredients.htm
But I had done some reading and the reading had led me to a holy grail chase for the the “hot tamale” of the Mississippi Delta and that led me to a web site that was the answer to my prayers! The Southern Food Alliance had put together a history and explanation of the Delta Hot Tamale! http://www.southernfoodways.org/oral-history/hot-tamale-trail/ , Along with it they had provided me with a map!
The map was beautiful! It was interactive! You click on a star and it tells you about the proprietor and gives a cute history of how they came to be making tamales and gave their address and their phone number, the proprietors name! Why...for a 53 year old white man with too much time on his hands this was a “vision quest”... a reason for living. Unfortunately, for those of you not familiar with the Mississippi Delta… it is a long way from St. Louis. It takes a commitment to get there and there is no other reason to ever go there. Poverty wise, economy wise, tourism wise… there ain't no reason to go there. It runs like the river from Memphis down to New Orleans. The ONLY reason tourism wise to go is to follow the Blues Trail which charts black musicians as they fled the Delta to head north to Memphis, St. Louis and Chicago. That is not much motivation… even for a person as abjectly pointless as myself.
But just look at this map! It is an enticing prospect!
But why? Why dear reader would I ever have motivation to travel 250-300 miles south along the river. Memphis is 5 hours south of the Lou. If I want to go to New Orleans I fly over this alluvial plain. The answer was one you would expect. My 22 year old daughter, a senior in college had no Spring Break plans. We now have relatives in Baton Rouge so… why not a little drive south?
I was not at all certain this attempt at child abuse with my daughter would work but I sweetened it with:
1. I would pay for everything
2. We would spend 2 days in Nashville with friends getting drunk and listening to music.
3. She could take a friend along
4. I would pay for everything;
5. After staying in Baton Rouge, I would fly home and she and her friend could return north without me! ;and
6. I would pay for everything.
Pretty tempting. And although I can only think of a handful of people, including my son Jon and of course sick, sad people like Rodney Barodte, who would make this trip, my daughter is if nothing else, cheap. So we left Nashville and headed for Memphis taking LOOONG way to Baton Rouge. We headed down Highway 61 which follows the Delta Blues Trail. Robert Johnson, (as we all know) sold his soul to the devil to learn how to play guitar as he did at the intersection of Highway 61 and Highway 49...the crossroads. Johnson also loved hot tamales and recorded a song enshrining them in history:
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale
I got a girls, say she long and tall
She sleeps in the kitchen with her feets in the hall
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale, I mean
Yes, she got'em for sale, yeah Hot tamales and they're red hot,
yes she got'em for sale
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale
She got two for a nickel, got four for a dime
Would sell you more, but they ain't none of mine
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale, I mean
Yes, she got'em for sale, yes, yeah Hot tamales and they're red hot,
yes she got'em for sale
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale
I got a letter from a girl in the room
Now she got something good she got to bring home soon, now
Its hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got em for sale, I mean
Yes, she got'em for sale, yeah Hot tamales and they're red hot,
yes she got em for sale
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got em for sale
(spoken) They're too hot boy!
The billy got back in a bumble bee nest
Ever since that he can't take his rest, yeah
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes you got'em for sale, I mean
Yes, she got'em for sale Hot tamales and they're red hot,
yes she got'em for sale
(spoken) Man don't mess around em hot tamales now
(spoken) Cause they too black bad, if you mess around em hot tamales
(spoken) I'm onna upset your backbone, put your kidneys to sleep
(spoken) I'll due to break away your liver and dare your heart to beat bout my
Hot tamales cause they red hot, yes they got em for sale, I mean
Yes, she got em for sale, yeah Hot tamales and they're red hot,
yes she got'em for sale
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale
You know grandma left and grandpa too
Well I wonder what in the world we chillun gon do now
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale, I mean
Yes she got'em for sale Hot tamales and they're red hot,
yes she got'em for sale
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale
Me and my babe bought a V-8 Ford
Well we wind that thing all on the runnin board, yes
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale, I mean
Yes she got'em for sale, yeah Hot tamales and they're red hot,
yes she got'em for sale
They're too hot boy!
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes, now she got em for sale
You know the monkey, now the baboon playin in the grass
Well the monkey stuck his finger in that old 'Good Gulf Gas', now
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale, I mean
Yes she got'em for sale, yeah Hot tamales and they're red hot,
yes she got'em for sale
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale
I got a girls, say she long and tall
Sleeps in the kitchen with her feets in the hall
Hot tamales and they're red hot, yes she got'em for sale, I mean
Yes she got'em for sale, yeah. -Robert Johnson
A troubling version of this song by the Ukulele Orchestra may be found here.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Dhnxi1BX4uI
I think it is supposed to be about 8 hours and 45 minutes from Nashville to Baton Rouge. We would see about that. I had contemplated starting the tour at Pasquales in West Helena Arkansas but that was judged a (Mississippi) bridge too far and adding Arkansas to the tour seemed excessive, even for me. So we (me) decided to begin the tour at Buds in Tunica.
BUDS! Now the virtues of casino gambling in a community are well known. I have personally seen how adding casino gambling rockets the Missouri Schools with all the extra income and the tourism related to these behemoths is without question and obviously, there are no social costs to legalized gambling. While I thought I understood what a boon it is to any economy I really had not prepared myself for Tunica. Tunica really, at the head of highway 61 is the gateway to the Delta and their could not be a sadder or more representative place to begin the festivities. Now on the Southern site they admonish to call ahead but once I committed to highway 61… were going to pass a dozen of these places and if one or two were closed… so be it. But nothing prepared us for the glories of Buds…
Surprisingly, at 1:30 on a Monday… Bud’s appeared closed. Maybe on another trip? It appeared from broken down ramp to the front that Buds might at this point be waiting for a fire. Tunica from Highway 61 is nothing but a ghetto with breaks for casino entrances and the vision of the large casinos on skyline to the west. Other than to take another stab at Buds… I cannot imagine making it back though I am sure the casinos are lovely, unique and represent the best of the Delta. To a large extent the trip to Bud's really set the tone for the entire tour.
ERVINS!
We moved on with high hopes to Ervins in Sledge Mississippi. Surprisingly it too was closed.
Hicks Clarksdale!
We scored at Hicks. Although unpromising from the front it sported a drive through window but I needed to use their facilities after all the excitement in Sledge and Tunica and when I went to the front door it was locked but a nice young man opened it. I got to take in the ambiance. He assured me the original location at the Clarksdale Grocery was much nicer but I orders a half dozen and I have to tell you, even with the over all failures of the tour I was extremely pleased to make the trip for the experience of these beauties. I mean… BILL CLINTON ATE HERE! That man knew food better than any other President since Chester Arthur!
The tamales were different then anything in my experience. I got them to go in a nice clam shell. Styrofoam seems to be doing well in the Delta. These babies were hot and succulent. Much smaller in volume than the behemoths I eat and make back home and at authentic Mexican places. These were dripping with spices that were redolent of Franks and good chicken wings and it was a surprisingly delicious combination with the tamale meat. I scarfed down 4 under the mistaken assumption that I needed to save room for later on in the trip but I can say, without reservation...GO TO HICKS. I am going to see if they ship them frozen. I mean, these would be world changing bar food back in the Lou!
From Clarksdale I rolled south and after my initial tasting of the delicacy I was pretty excited but over and over again the Tamale Trail disappointed and frustrated. We were now headed for Cleveland Mississippi and although Stewarts Quick Mart was long boarded up, we missed the Airport Market but at least found Delta Foods. Delta foods appeared to be a former gas station and it also appeared there was an active chop shop in back for stolen cars. As I exited a young woman who appeared drunk or high veered by our vehicle but thought nothing of it and went inside to find myself a lone white man in a somewhat suspect environment. I heard (but did not see) pool balls clacking behind a wall and the proprietor was on an important call he never got off of nut I signaled my interest in a ½ dozen tamales and after 5 minutes or so i had my prize and was headed out the door to see my daughter and her friend in my locked vehicle pointing towards the young women and now a gentleman caller (friend) and they appeared to be in an altercation. My daughter texted me (although I did not see until I cam out) the following:
“SOS”
“Please come back soon”
“We are witnessing a fight”
“I’m a little scared.”
“We might leave you here.”
“You could come back now.”
“It’s time for you to come back”.
All of these texts were sent between 2:59 PM and 3:03 PM. Needless to say no one died but in retrospect lets label Delta Foods in Cleveland Mississippi as “sketchy”. The tamales were not heated but were similar in style to Hicks though not as tasty. In light of the threats of physical violence towards my daughter I will give them a bad YELP review and not go back.
From there we continued south and although we considered stops in Greenville and Greenwood (yes, they are different places) we headed instead for “Pea Soups Lott-A-Freeze”. Although it sounded promising and indeed was still operational it appears that they were closed on Monday leading to a very personal and very serious devastation of my psyche. Pea soups is also famous for their “floating burger” but alas… I may never know it’s joys. We made lots of phone calls to other establishments but indeed found disconnected numbers or disconnected people answering the phone. The tamale trail was indeed badly outdated.
We eventually hoped for the best in Yazoo City Mississippi (indeed what could go wrong in such a place?) but the Yazoo Market and Hariss’s Hot Tamales were nowhere to be found although the town did seem charming in that “oh my God I want to kill myself because I am in Yazzoo Mississippi” type way. Instead we could find none of the promised tamale havens and were left empty...distraught and deeply, deeply troubled.
“Her brothers and her sisters drove down from Jackson, Mississippi
In a great green Hudson driven by a Gentile they knew.
Drinkin' rye whiskey from a flask in the back seat
Tryin' to do like the Gentiles do
Christ, they wanted to be Gentiles, too.
Who wouldn't down there, wouldn't you?
An American Christian, God damn!
On the Dixie Flyer bound for New Orleans
Back to her friends and her family in the land of dreams” -Dixie Flyer/Randy Newman
We had been in the car approximately 9 hours at this point. My daughter and her friend had been very patient but we were still several hours from baton Rouge and as such a key decision was made to head for Jackson, Tony’s Tamales and the relative safety and speed of highway 55. Tony moved over to Jackson from Greenville (which evidently hosts a tamale fest each year! http://www.hottamalefest.com/schedule.html,) the Hot Tamale Capital of the Delta and wanted to run his own business. Although I believe Tony’s might have two locations in Jackson we opted for one in a strip mall that was similar to a coffee kiosk with two drive up windows.
The girls had sadly ordered a pizza rather than sample these delicacies. They ere fabulous. Wrapped tightly in tin foil six delectable morsels of flavor hot and slightly drier and even spicier than those of Hicks. At this point in my limited hot tamale experience I think these were my favorites but by going to strip mall in Jackson you give up a lot in ambiance, and the adrenaline of being afraid for your life.
Bottom line is that this was a great excursion. The Southern Foodways people need to hire me or some other incompetent boob to update this list. The making of the tamales is clearly an art handed down in families and these families are obviously not always the best business people. Based on that the places will move but there should be someway to track the openings and closings of these Jewels of the Delta and I would strongly urge you if ever driving to the Gulf Coast, take the detour and see part of America that you will not see otherwise. You can combine the trip with the Delta Blues Trail and make a long day of it. it is a great country and there is great food everywhere… you just got to look...and drive.
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