Enui, Or The New Laziness?

Sooooo.... it has been an interesting year. They all seem to be that way now. Taking stock as summer bangs down hard with some sweet weather. It is a morning in the office to be introspective and to avoid work...and the fucking phone. I think you all know I am a reasonably (or unreasonably) religious person but i have it on excellent authority (Beetle Bob) that in heaven there are no phones. No smart phones, dumb phones, fax machines, computers, iPads, think pads, game boys, X-Boxes, Play Stations or anything else that would allow (force) you to be interrupted from whatever we are supposed to be doing there (praising God eternally is, I believe the party line). I will not miss them. I hate them. When mine rings I flinch. This is most certainly true.

Yesterday I had a root canal. I am an incredible sissy as far as pain goes. This on a pain scale was not so bad (once you get the shots) but I did have my mouth wedged open for 1 ½ hours and I do not recommend that. Still, I was in pretty severe pain and now I am not. Still, there is something awful about being in that chair, having your mouth propped open and not feeling like you can close it, or pause, and hearing the whine of the drill. If heaven is a world without cell phones, that is probably hell. If it is not perhaps God could rethink it.

So yes, I digressed. A weird year. I cannot seem to read this year. Normally I would be about 15 books into the year but now when I go to bed I am good for about a page before I go to sleep. My discretionary (non-work related) reading is pretty limited to the Wall Street Journal and the New Yorker. I dislike the Murdoch paper’s hyper conservative agenda but their coverage world wide is better than the Times as far as hard news and catching up as to the arts. They have clearly surpassed USA Today (Highlights Magazine) as the daily of people who can actually read. The New Yorker is of course the opposite of the Journal with a bitter liberal bent that is whiningly become just as difficult to swallow. But the articles and in depth reporting is awesome. When they do a piece, you learn if you read it. Of course I cannot retain anything but that is neither here nor there. Bottom line is that I have not read any books this year that have really stuck with me. I also have stopped reading about 5 books because they did not ever grab me but it is hard to be grabbed when going about it at a page a day. I am taking my final mini-vacation and am thinking about buying 10-20 comic books (not graphic novels but actual comic books) to see if I can kick start an interest in fiction again.


I have seen a lot more live music lately and have not been blogging about it. Frank Black, the Old 97’s, the Decemberists, Joe Pug, Alejandro Escovedo, David Lowery, a couple of house concerts, Hayes Carll, Elizabeth Cook, James Mc Murtry, Chuck Berry (checking him off bucket list) and I am sure some others who have been lost already in the haze of middle aged memory. But, I seem to be losing touch for new music as it takes too much work, and time. Where did I find the time to listen to all that new music. Sift through the drech. Let the cream rise to the top through repeated listening. I am not even going to Lou Fest this year I do not think. I might change my mind at the last minute but while last year was chock full of bands I needed to see I can only recognize the names of a few and those that I do recognize, they are non-essential to see. The Roots? Surfer Bood? Really? I mean Cat Power might be interesting but only on an intellectual level. Her best songs are all someone else's, but I guess the point is that I am becoming intellectually lazy regarding my pursuit of pleasure.
This is troubling. This requires greater thought. This requires an expansion pack. I think the theory is that as i am ageing, I have less energy for frivolous stuff and the meat of life (which is sometimes hard, often annoying, rarely inspiring (with some exceptions for friends and family) is taking up more and more of my seemingly decreasing band width. Troubling times indeed my friends. More later but in the meantime, have a beer, go see some live music, or a movie or (gasp) even a play (though not a musical).

Endless End Of Summer: GOOD MAGIC

But what about the good magic. Our Cardinals finally lost on last week but not by much. They were in it till the end. The night before that Pinero pitched a great game and the night before Wainright and Franklin protected a one run lead. How sweet is that. magine what might happen if they start to hit again with the starting pitching we hve now and the closer Franklin. I am starting to wear my Cardinal hat every day. Breaking it in for the playoffs and beyond. The town has a buzz and you grab your sports page every day just to read some new details. It makes mornings better. And a lot of nights there is a game to go to or one on TV and you get to see if they are going to find a way to win again while the Cubs find another way to lose. The poor Cubs. It is like slow moving death to watch it. But we come here not to bury the Cubs because they have buried themselves. 11 1/2 f=games out. Seriously.... how does that happen?
Smoltz
Carpenter
Wainright
Pinero
Somebody
Ryan Franklin could stop a freight train.
It is time for us to make that run boys and girls. Something good can happen and possibilities are endless. Be afraid Philadelphia... be very, very afraid.
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The Tigers...blistering....humiliating...emasculating the Illini. I would say that is looks good for Mizzou but Illinois (and the Big Ten on the whole) were so bad on opening day that no conclusions could be drawn. Sam Bradford going down looks like a break but it looks like he will be back by the time they finish their patsy schedule. Still it is fall and we can dream. 37-9. Wow.
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I have the benefit of knowing a lot of talented people. On of them is Dan Kukla. Check out his Blog and see what he has to say. He is going to graduate in December with a journalism degree from Miami of Ohio or Miami University or whatever the hell they call it now. He wrotes about the dreaded red Hawks with a passion. he also has written about his summer mission trip to Vietnam. I cannot read too much about the red Hawks but he did have coffee with Joe Buck and I like to read what he writes. Check it out. he writes well. Sometimes it makes me smile.

Endless End Of Summer: Black Magic

Sooooo I guess I am sidelined by this “end of summer” jag. Since we cannot go to the beach with Annette Funicello I guess we are just going stay here and see if August, and now September finally turns into the hot, humid, nightmarish St. louis summer that makes it what we call HOME! There are two things on my mind today. They seem like the end of something and the beginning of something. Some good magic and some black magic but magic never the less.

Jeff Smith and Steve Brown did the perp walk this last month. I do not know Smith other then he was the “rising star” youngster in the state Democratic ranks. That was last week. This week he is a felon waiting to be sentenced. Steve Brown is in the same boat. It is a bad boat. Brown is a long time acquaintance. He used to be a U-Club member with me and had a nice squash game. He is a life long public servant. He was a State Senator. Smith was a State Representative. They have both resigned. Somehow they were involved with distributing a flyer smearing Carnahan who was running against Smith for Congress. They didn’t own up to it and then.... wait for it... wait for it... covered it up. Lied about their involvement to the investigators and then The FBI.

I like Steve Brown. I think of him as a good person and when he was working for the State AG’s office he helped me out once or twice with clients demystifying the process for me. Picturing this nice, helpful public servant, putting himself in a position where he was forced to wear a wire to get his friends... makes me sweat. He and Smith and their story, hammer home one of my least favorite life lessons which is regarding mistakes and perhaps (gasp) prove me wrong. I have come to believe that I am only two mistakes away from having to move into my parents basement. They might not have a basement much longer. I also believe I am three (bad or stupid) mistakes away from jail. It appears (once again) that my math is wrong. It only takes two bad mistakes to go to jail. These guys illustrate that. Not bad guys, just a little bad judgment, a little not owning up to it and a lot of bad luck to go with it.

Unfortunately the same rules seem to apply to all aspects of life. Marriage, job, parenting,friendships. When you lose focus (and we all do) you screw up. We look at people like Jeff and Steve and say to ourselves that they were bad people or hopeless screw ups but the fact is that they were just people... like us. As much as it pains me the same is true for Mark Sanford and all the rest.

There but for the grace of God.... Go I. And it could happen to me tomorrow. And maybe you too. So do not be too smug about our latest felons. Say a prayer for these guys, light a candle for them and show the grace you hope people will show you and yours when the screw up. But don’t expect a lot from them. That is the Black magic that haunts me at end of summer.