Errata

Errata:




So.... I have begun after 45 years to floss. I don’t know how it happened. Whether it is because of age and maturity? Seems unlikely. It might be because I have started to get things stuck between the awkward spaces between my teef. I mean big things...things that look like...well...you know those hay things....not bales...they don’t do that anymore...but those big rolled up things that look like tank size pieces of shredded wheat....THAT’s what daddy gets stuck in his teeth.
I have been doing it for several weeks and after a few weeks of bloody and distressed gums it seems like it is a good thing but seriously....the crap that pops out of my mouth is unbelievable. Next time I lose my wallet....thats the first place I am looking. Where does the idea of flossing come from? Wikipedia is always helpful http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_floss Thy explain a great deal. Levi Spear Parmley invented the stuff using silk. Johnson and Johnson stole and patented his idea and then realized nylon would work better and...well that is where the dream starts. Wikipedia further advises that:
“The American Dental Association (ADA) advises to floss once or more per day. It should be noted that overly vigorous or incorrect flossing can result in gum tissue damage. For proper flossing, the Association advises to curve the floss against the side of the tooth in a 'C' shape, and then to wipe the tooth from under the gum-line (very gently) to the tip two or three times, repeated on adjacent tooth and on all other teeth too.”
Good stuff. This from the American Dental Association web page:
How do I floss my teeth?

• Break off about 18 inches of floss and wind most of it around one of your middle fingers. Wind the remaining floss around the same finger of the opposite hand. This finger will take up the floss as it becomes dirty. Hold the floss tightly between your thumbs and forefingers.
• Guide the floss between your teeth using a gentle rubbing motion. Never snap the floss into the gums.
• When the floss reaches the gum line, curve it into a C shape against one tooth. Gently slide it into the space between the gum and the tooth.
• Hold the floss tightly against the tooth. Gently rub the side of the tooth, moving the floss away from the gum with up and down motions.
• Repeat this method on the rest of your teeth.
• Don't forget the back side of your last tooth.
BRILLIANT!
Soooo...even after two months of flossing I finally go to the dentist for the well overdue cleaning. I know there is nothing interesting about hating the dentist. it does not even interest me but jeeeez I hate the dentist. I always wonder where they get these women with these powerful hands, wrists and forearms who can apply 600-700 foot pounds of pressure to bare in your mouth. Do they breed them somewhere? And they always seem surprised when you thrash around like a fish, gaging on your own bile... do they really do any good?
They are kind enough to tell me in no particular order that:
1. It is great that I am flossing and my gums bleed less;
2. My gums are still receding everywhere and I should be able to expect a major root canal in the future; and
3. My teeth grinding has raised itself to a new level and I am doing major damage to my gums and lower teeth and that I probably need a serious shrink and some medication if I am grinding them that much.
Great News!

****
Sooooo....happy birthday to me...whatever. 46. Seems old. I never met to live this long. Is that an old line? I think so. My dad always said that “only the good die young” and he is still playing tennis at 80 while I seem to be “deteriorating” at every turn. It is weird living this long, but sometimes it is a good type of weird. I hear people talking about this age as “half time” and while that seems like bull shit to me it makes some sense to me as well and I have after all been working for 20 years....and it looks like I will be working for at least another 20 with social security all gone by the time I get there and the fact that “retirement age” will likely be 70....I am not even too half time yet. Shit. That really sucks.
But maybe it does not. Who says that I have to spend the second half the way I spent the first half. My wife doesn’t. She wants me to be happy. My parents won’t make me...they are tired and reasonably pleased with the fact that I have not had to move back in with them. Even my in laws are really happy generally that I have held a job for a period of time. My kids... I need to think about them a little...I am not sure what they want. dad as a lawyer was not a bad gig but i think they too just would like me to feel happy. So, re-reading that paragraph I guess what I am saying is that I am a pretty Blessed (capital b) guy.

Money. Money could be the issue... or at least an issue.... but maybe...maybe that can be gotten around. Maybe not. Money is indeed the route of all evil. Money also offers the chance to make things better for other people and to do some good things for them once in a while. So making money can be a good thing. So is there a way to make enough money to do that stuff and still do something fun or rewarding in the second half? Probably not. But why not take a whack at it anyway.
The family is OK. My problem at half time is all in my head. What if everything I have got is not enough? Does that make me an immature, unappreciative shit? I think the answer could very possibly be yes. What if i am just unhappy with my first half career because I have developed an overdeveloped ability to be unhappy. Would I be unhappy if I did it all differently but in the way I think I would have liked to? I think there is a pretty good chance that the answer would be a great big strip club HELL YES!

Sooooo what to do? I know I like dealing with people on a counseling basis. I know I really have an empathy for high school kids. I know I really like to speak (and listen to myself talk) and I like to write although the last 9 months have satisfied me that I will never be a “writer”. So what do I do with that information or that self knowledge? That is what the future will tell but I am a lot closer to moving back home to my parents basement then I am to winning the lottery.
Possible careers for Mike Becker at 46:

1. Drug Dealer
2. Rock Star
3. Pastor
4. High School teacher
5. Strip Club Bouncer
6. Investment Banker
7. Lawyer
8. Pimp
9. Serial Killer
10. Judge

Thoughts?
46 seems old at this point. Very old. But it seems that there are a lot of choices here. Almost all of them...well... that is not fair...all of them are good. So what does one do with so many good choices?

1. Go back to school
2. Move back in with my parents
3. Go live under a bridge (with my troll friends)
4. Continue practicing law
5. Becoming a handler for Britney Spears or Paris Hilton or...even Nicole Richie or Lindsay Lohan.

The last are not really career choices but weigh stations and what type of 46 year old goes through the process of a weigh station? I mean seriously...how does that happen? Is it just self involvement and immaturity? I think maybe so but even if that is true...here I am. Lets figure this out.

*****

Ahhhhh the KUDZ Force. it is time to scare us again. Time for Cheney and Bush through the good soldier Petraus to frighten us into not only “staying the course” but taking action against Iran as well. it is important that we be frightened. it is important that we believe that a country with a homicidal mullah and a crazy President can threaten us and our country in a meaningful way. it is important that we be scared so we do not ask why if we pull out Iraq that “the terrorists will follow us home”. That is frightening, where would they sleep? What would they eat? it is important we be afraid so we do not ask why the administration really wants us to believe that by fighting them there we are keeping them another 9-11. Are THEY that easily distracted? And who is “they” anyway? Al-Quaida? A group who pulled off a tremendously criminal and murderous act which we made glorious by.... invading Iraq? Seriously...what were we thinking of? And now the drum is beating for Iran with Cheney, Bush and the Republican (read southern conservative Christian coalition) leadership in Congress in their own new age drum circle...pounding the beat. The nukes in Iran thing did not have traction with the people so now we are trotting out THE KUDZ FORCE again. They are coordinating attacks against our troops. They are deadly palace guard of the Mullahs. I am convinced the only reason we trot them out is because it sounds like they must be nazis.

Anyway...I know most of the oil comes from the middle east and we do not want crazy people able to halt the supply but...isn’t that really the problem? These people have NOTHINg but oil that will run out in 50 or 60 years. Their dictators want to make hay while the sun shines. Seriously...if not for the oil how could we be afraid of these people? They are good with bombs and killing civilians but since we have stepped up our vigilance here...nothing. And shouldn’t we as a country grow up about this terrorism thing? it is a reality for us and our children. We need to recognize that you cannot wage a war on terrorism anymore then you can wage a war on drugs or...the dreaded FOX invented WAR ON CHRISTMAS. You fight wars against countries. Not crazy people. Crazy people will always be able to kill people and as the technology gets better and better, more people each time.

We need to pay attention but we cannot be afraid. We need to stand up, protect ourselves and start to lead by example. Attacking or bombing Iran will not advance the ball. Staying the course will not advance the ball. How about if we spend all that money on health care and on training the next generation for their challenges? That would be something to lead on. But we need to stand up to our leaders right now and refuse to be manipulated by them trying to scare us. We have to.