Errata

Errata:




So.... I have begun after 45 years to floss. I don’t know how it happened. Whether it is because of age and maturity? Seems unlikely. It might be because I have started to get things stuck between the awkward spaces between my teef. I mean big things...things that look like...well...you know those hay things....not bales...they don’t do that anymore...but those big rolled up things that look like tank size pieces of shredded wheat....THAT’s what daddy gets stuck in his teeth.
I have been doing it for several weeks and after a few weeks of bloody and distressed gums it seems like it is a good thing but seriously....the crap that pops out of my mouth is unbelievable. Next time I lose my wallet....thats the first place I am looking. Where does the idea of flossing come from? Wikipedia is always helpful http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dental_floss Thy explain a great deal. Levi Spear Parmley invented the stuff using silk. Johnson and Johnson stole and patented his idea and then realized nylon would work better and...well that is where the dream starts. Wikipedia further advises that:
“The American Dental Association (ADA) advises to floss once or more per day. It should be noted that overly vigorous or incorrect flossing can result in gum tissue damage. For proper flossing, the Association advises to curve the floss against the side of the tooth in a 'C' shape, and then to wipe the tooth from under the gum-line (very gently) to the tip two or three times, repeated on adjacent tooth and on all other teeth too.”
Good stuff. This from the American Dental Association web page:
How do I floss my teeth?

• Break off about 18 inches of floss and wind most of it around one of your middle fingers. Wind the remaining floss around the same finger of the opposite hand. This finger will take up the floss as it becomes dirty. Hold the floss tightly between your thumbs and forefingers.
• Guide the floss between your teeth using a gentle rubbing motion. Never snap the floss into the gums.
• When the floss reaches the gum line, curve it into a C shape against one tooth. Gently slide it into the space between the gum and the tooth.
• Hold the floss tightly against the tooth. Gently rub the side of the tooth, moving the floss away from the gum with up and down motions.
• Repeat this method on the rest of your teeth.
• Don't forget the back side of your last tooth.
BRILLIANT!
Soooo...even after two months of flossing I finally go to the dentist for the well overdue cleaning. I know there is nothing interesting about hating the dentist. it does not even interest me but jeeeez I hate the dentist. I always wonder where they get these women with these powerful hands, wrists and forearms who can apply 600-700 foot pounds of pressure to bare in your mouth. Do they breed them somewhere? And they always seem surprised when you thrash around like a fish, gaging on your own bile... do they really do any good?
They are kind enough to tell me in no particular order that:
1. It is great that I am flossing and my gums bleed less;
2. My gums are still receding everywhere and I should be able to expect a major root canal in the future; and
3. My teeth grinding has raised itself to a new level and I am doing major damage to my gums and lower teeth and that I probably need a serious shrink and some medication if I am grinding them that much.
Great News!

****
Sooooo....happy birthday to me...whatever. 46. Seems old. I never met to live this long. Is that an old line? I think so. My dad always said that “only the good die young” and he is still playing tennis at 80 while I seem to be “deteriorating” at every turn. It is weird living this long, but sometimes it is a good type of weird. I hear people talking about this age as “half time” and while that seems like bull shit to me it makes some sense to me as well and I have after all been working for 20 years....and it looks like I will be working for at least another 20 with social security all gone by the time I get there and the fact that “retirement age” will likely be 70....I am not even too half time yet. Shit. That really sucks.
But maybe it does not. Who says that I have to spend the second half the way I spent the first half. My wife doesn’t. She wants me to be happy. My parents won’t make me...they are tired and reasonably pleased with the fact that I have not had to move back in with them. Even my in laws are really happy generally that I have held a job for a period of time. My kids... I need to think about them a little...I am not sure what they want. dad as a lawyer was not a bad gig but i think they too just would like me to feel happy. So, re-reading that paragraph I guess what I am saying is that I am a pretty Blessed (capital b) guy.

Money. Money could be the issue... or at least an issue.... but maybe...maybe that can be gotten around. Maybe not. Money is indeed the route of all evil. Money also offers the chance to make things better for other people and to do some good things for them once in a while. So making money can be a good thing. So is there a way to make enough money to do that stuff and still do something fun or rewarding in the second half? Probably not. But why not take a whack at it anyway.
The family is OK. My problem at half time is all in my head. What if everything I have got is not enough? Does that make me an immature, unappreciative shit? I think the answer could very possibly be yes. What if i am just unhappy with my first half career because I have developed an overdeveloped ability to be unhappy. Would I be unhappy if I did it all differently but in the way I think I would have liked to? I think there is a pretty good chance that the answer would be a great big strip club HELL YES!

Sooooo what to do? I know I like dealing with people on a counseling basis. I know I really have an empathy for high school kids. I know I really like to speak (and listen to myself talk) and I like to write although the last 9 months have satisfied me that I will never be a “writer”. So what do I do with that information or that self knowledge? That is what the future will tell but I am a lot closer to moving back home to my parents basement then I am to winning the lottery.
Possible careers for Mike Becker at 46:

1. Drug Dealer
2. Rock Star
3. Pastor
4. High School teacher
5. Strip Club Bouncer
6. Investment Banker
7. Lawyer
8. Pimp
9. Serial Killer
10. Judge

Thoughts?
46 seems old at this point. Very old. But it seems that there are a lot of choices here. Almost all of them...well... that is not fair...all of them are good. So what does one do with so many good choices?

1. Go back to school
2. Move back in with my parents
3. Go live under a bridge (with my troll friends)
4. Continue practicing law
5. Becoming a handler for Britney Spears or Paris Hilton or...even Nicole Richie or Lindsay Lohan.

The last are not really career choices but weigh stations and what type of 46 year old goes through the process of a weigh station? I mean seriously...how does that happen? Is it just self involvement and immaturity? I think maybe so but even if that is true...here I am. Lets figure this out.

*****

Ahhhhh the KUDZ Force. it is time to scare us again. Time for Cheney and Bush through the good soldier Petraus to frighten us into not only “staying the course” but taking action against Iran as well. it is important that we be frightened. it is important that we believe that a country with a homicidal mullah and a crazy President can threaten us and our country in a meaningful way. it is important that we be scared so we do not ask why if we pull out Iraq that “the terrorists will follow us home”. That is frightening, where would they sleep? What would they eat? it is important we be afraid so we do not ask why the administration really wants us to believe that by fighting them there we are keeping them another 9-11. Are THEY that easily distracted? And who is “they” anyway? Al-Quaida? A group who pulled off a tremendously criminal and murderous act which we made glorious by.... invading Iraq? Seriously...what were we thinking of? And now the drum is beating for Iran with Cheney, Bush and the Republican (read southern conservative Christian coalition) leadership in Congress in their own new age drum circle...pounding the beat. The nukes in Iran thing did not have traction with the people so now we are trotting out THE KUDZ FORCE again. They are coordinating attacks against our troops. They are deadly palace guard of the Mullahs. I am convinced the only reason we trot them out is because it sounds like they must be nazis.

Anyway...I know most of the oil comes from the middle east and we do not want crazy people able to halt the supply but...isn’t that really the problem? These people have NOTHINg but oil that will run out in 50 or 60 years. Their dictators want to make hay while the sun shines. Seriously...if not for the oil how could we be afraid of these people? They are good with bombs and killing civilians but since we have stepped up our vigilance here...nothing. And shouldn’t we as a country grow up about this terrorism thing? it is a reality for us and our children. We need to recognize that you cannot wage a war on terrorism anymore then you can wage a war on drugs or...the dreaded FOX invented WAR ON CHRISTMAS. You fight wars against countries. Not crazy people. Crazy people will always be able to kill people and as the technology gets better and better, more people each time.

We need to pay attention but we cannot be afraid. We need to stand up, protect ourselves and start to lead by example. Attacking or bombing Iran will not advance the ball. Staying the course will not advance the ball. How about if we spend all that money on health care and on training the next generation for their challenges? That would be something to lead on. But we need to stand up to our leaders right now and refuse to be manipulated by them trying to scare us. We have to.

Dos Peros

Soooo..what do you say about a man at 45 who suddenly comes up as the possible owner of two dogs? As regular readers know our family suffered a major psychological blow last year with our sons leaving (escaping?) to college. We dealt with that very well trying to focus the excess energy on our two remaining homebound, long suffering children. They did not seem to enjoy that. Then our old, tired, back surgeried mutt declined to a point where she was fairly unhappy... perhaps even tremendously unhappy...and she needed to be put to sleep. That was Rascal and Rascal was a smallish, skittish mutt who came into our lives when we were obsessed with the rearing of young children. The kids noticed we had a dog around but not much else. Anyway...Rascal was gone and my wife was thinking we did not need another dog but I began to plot and scheme.

For me, for whatever reason with all my insecurities, a family does not look like a family without a dog shambling around, sniffing people, barking at strangers, peeing wherever sometimes, sleeping in the same room and generally being around. (That is what we call a run on sentence). So I wanted a dog. I had a good friend who was very active in animal rescue and when she realized I was a candidate for one of her charges she went to work. She had us out to a birthday party where she had some friends who were dog people and also had her 7 or 8 dogs wandering around. She also had a book of the dogs available for adoption and told my wife when they would be at Pet Smart.

It was not too much later when my wife told me she was going to “look” and that same day when she said “come over, I think I have found our dog.” Lily was there on her lap in the pet store nervous and shedding like it was snowing. Very cute. I walked her around and she skittered nervously, just a puppy. They said she was a Jack Russel/Beagle mix and she was very loveable. We took her hom, my daughter named her Lily after a few starts and stops with other names and....we had a new child. My wife focused her formidable skills on acclimating the dog getting firmly involved in:
1. Potty training
2. Diet
3. Exercise
4. Obedience School
5. Finding dog people for our rambunctious dog to play with

Sooner or later the dog started sleeping with us and became firmly embedded in the fabric of our family. Although she has too much energy it was good and with the recent Michael Vick thing I came to grips with the fact that Lily was a Pit Bull who had likely been discarded due to her smallish size. She looked liked one and acted like. If it looks like a duck and flys like a duck... But just as people told us, she was sweet, loveable full of energy and great to have around. In playing with other dogs it was rougher then I was comfortable with but tails were always wagging with all the dogs and everyone seemed to get along at the dog park.

So when my wife informed me that there was a 2 year old Labrador mix...Lola...who needed a home I thought, well...why not. Lola was owned by a couple who then had a small child and could not handle her anymore and was living with a single man who already had a dog and was hoping to find a good home. He assured us we could “try her out” but I knew from past history that when you get a dog, you tend to keep a dog. Lola is a sway back, bowl legged, ematiated dog, about 60 pounds of dog and on her way to 80 when we start to feed her. Her ribs stick through and she walks (shambles) around our house as we see if this is going to work.

It is amazing how much every new personality changes the dynamics of a household. This dog is even natured, calm and pleasant. She and Lily spent the entire first day wrestling, mouthing and of course humping each other going through all the dance of establishing the dominant dog of the house. It was all pretty pleasant and innocent with Lily walking around outside in our yard and peeing EVERYWHERE and then generally tussling on a non stop basis, tails wagging as they danced their dance. Lola has a lot more energy then Lily who although energetic has lived with the Beckers for coming up on a year and has acclimated herself to our slothful lifestyle. Lola has not been indoctrinated and by the end of the day Lily was tired so I separated them and took Lily upstairs to be with Sandy where she collapsed on the bed. My daughter let Lola upstaris and when she stuck her large face up on the bed Lily, the Pit Bull did not hesitate and made one quick violent snap at her head, catching her delicate noze in her teeth and ripping it. Sending Lola screaching downstairs to park by the back door, bleeding...as Lily settled back in on the bed. Lola seems to be a pretty gentle sweetheart and I think she was a little in shock but she cleaned up well but...it is a gash in the nose. Lots of blood.

Territorial...that was the other thing I read about Pit Bulls...territorial. She acted just as we should have suspected that she would. She was tired and wanted her space and she was laying in bed with Sandy..her master and was going to allow this final encroachment. Mid-life is odd. Stupidity never seems to go away and although we know the dog makes no sense it seems like the right thing to do. So, we are feeling our way. Seeing if this works out. Perhaps the second dog does not make sense yet...perhaps we need to get rid of another one of these kids? Food for thought.