ROCK CHALK!

GREAT GAME!











Sooooo... it is Sunday and... well it has been a great tournament. As we wait on the finals on the Monday night and anticipate what kostumes we are going to wear to the Kukla Depot for kocktail hour we need to make a few KUBE Komments.

1. How about those Tarheels?
2. How about the 113 of us who picked North carolina or UCLA as Champion?
3. So much for form holding in the Final Four.
4. Kudos to the 45 kontestants who chose Kansas or Memphis for champion.

We are down to memphis and Kansas and I think all right thinking people everywhere... even Missouri fans, are going to rally behind our Big 12 JAWHAWKS from neighboring Kansas. After all, here in St. Louis almost everyone knows someone who was not smart enough to get into Mizzou or Drake and who had to go to school in Lawrence Kansas. The fact that several of these college “graduates” actually went to Hascal Indian Junior College in Lawrence but told everyone that they went to KU is of no import. The main purpose today is to celebrate Jayhawk pride.

Now we have a few nightmare scenarios. Kim Zender wins if Memphis wins which begs the question... who in the hell is Kim Zender? Perhaps Kukla or one of our other Koodinators knows but i think we will be implementing a rule next year where you cannot win unless I know you personally... and you have given me some kind of gift. Karen “I forgot to leave Rock Island like everyone else” Warlop comes in second and Molly (I am so much smarter then Mogerman AND Zerman and deserve a huge raise for carrying the firm on my back) Alesi comes in third.

Unfortunately for these folks we all know the mighty Kansas Jayhawks (similar to the formerly might North carolina Tarheels) will romp in the finals on Monday and in that case Liz Ott (do not know her well enough to make fun of her), Bill Dickens (don’t know him either) and OH MY GOD my semi retarded but extremely high functioning brother Rob “Becker the Wrecker” comes in third. Unbelievable. The man could not find his behind with both hands and a pack of dogs but here he is taking possibly taking 3rd in the most prestigious competition in KUBE history.

What is more interesting and i think is probably a huge cry for help is Logan Finnerty
Kukla will inform us as to what the prize money is Logan Finnerty who did not only not beat his mother but to be fair.... he did not beat anyone. But for Kukla’s sister and some one named Alsop who must have had a severe head wound he did not even have much company. We must think that Logan either:

A. Intentionally tanked his brackets (unlikely since he picked Duke); or
B. Is attempting to get just a little bit of attention from his parents; or
C. Is finally showing the results of all those margaritas mom drank when she was carrying him.

In any case I am thinking we of the KUBE nation have some obligation to konduct some type of intervention.

Another observation about all your pets. THEY ARE PATHETIC! Ugly dogs, frightening cats and although some of them looked good to win, they all folded up when the going got tough. We all thought Lucy Shapiro or one of those Curtis mutts was going to run away with this but when the Shapiro’s stopped feeding Lucy and the Curtises began to threaten Riley with taking a long ride he would never come home from... they quit.

Tyler thought THIS was a bad day. I will not miss seeing and reading about him EVERY DAY in the Post.



So we will await a Monday update from the Kommissioner who will tell us:

1. Prize money breakdown. (With over 200 kontestants at 10 bucks a head Don tells me that we will have almost $234 dollars to distribute in prize money).
2. Timing for KUBE Finals Happy Hour at Depot.
3. What time to show up with your pet.
4. What sort of theme for your kostume
5. Whether YOU in particular are invited
6. Who the musical guess will be
7. Whether he will be flying his children at college in or not.
Personally I cannot wait.