Holt Lutheran High School Graduation 2009: "Don't Fry Bacon In The Nude!"

I was allowed this year to give a graduation commencement speech at Holt Lutheran High School in Lansing Michigan. This is not of course exactly what I said because I had to shorten it but.... it is close.

Good evening and welcome to parents, brothers and sisters, grandparents, friends, aunts uncles, etc…etc… (pause). I don’t know why I am here. I suspect it is because Erin, Olivia and Katie. I suspect it is because at some weak moment they thought this might be amusing and they could not get Li’l Wayne. So they went about doing what I once again suspect they always do…getting what they want. I thank you.

I am humbled and grateful to be here. But what to do with this time together. There is so much to tell you and I have never been at a shortage for words. In any public speaking course you are taught to tell them what your going to say, tell them, and then tell them, and then tell them what you have told them. It sounds stupid but it works. So what I am going to tell you about is accepting your call. What I am going to tell you is accept the gifts…. And accept your call. My Bible verse that I want to start with is Micah 6:8 (New International Version)

8 He has showed you, O man, what is good.
And what does the LORD require of you?
To act justly and to love mercy
and to walk humbly with your God.
Walking humbly with your God. Acting justly. Loving Mercy. What awesome advice this is. I should end right here but…. I love to talk

Quoting Gary Bolding” “Your families are extremely proud of you. You cannot understand the sense of relief they are experiencing. This would be a good time to ask for money.”

It is a great day to get gifts. I got well over 1000 dollars in gifts for graduation, and that was 30 years ago. That was real money then. I didn’t have to burn them all on my college and expenses so I was able to save them and put them towards an engagement ring for my wife but it is a great day for gifts. Don’t be awkward. These gifts are given out of love but try and remember when your accepting these gifts that they are nothing, NOTHING compared to the gifts God gave you through his son. Accept the money, the picture frames, the books, the cards but it is a great time to accept again consciously the big gift… the gift of God’s love.

When you accept those gifts you need accept something else. Accept that you truly are called and that’s the theme of our little party today. Accept the gift, accept the call.

But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, people belonging to God that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness intyo his wonderful light. 1st Peter 2 v9.

But how do you go about doing that? This is the question every parent and teacher and Pastor asks themselves when raising up those God has entrusted to us. What guidance can we give them? What resources can we give them in order to assist God in molding them to his purpose. I don’t know the answer but there are some rules to follow. Your teachers and parents and pastors have probably been trying to tell you that the Ten Commandments are some good rules that will help you accept your call. While they certainly correct how many times are you coveting your neighbors manservant, maidservant or Ox?

Generally I point all people to the Sermon on the Mount. With High Schoolers at Church or camp I try…TRY to emphasize that “Mr. Becker Loves The Sermon On The Mount”. It is a short course on being a Christian. It is like 5 pages of the Bible in red letter type where Christ is just speaking. As I man I also believe that if you do not totally get the Sermon On The Mount you can get a lot of it by watching “The Godfather Part I and II over and over again but that is for another commencement.. My favorite part of The Sermon On The Mount is “the Beattitudes” and Kurt Vonnegutt has my favorite quote about the beatitudes place in our society.

“For some reason, the most vocal Christians among us never mention the Beatitudes. But, often with tears in their eyes, they demand that the Ten Commandments be posted in public buildings. And of course that’s Moses, not Jesus. I haven’t heard one of them demand that the Sermon on the Mount, the Beatitudes, be posted anywhere. "Blessed are the merciful" in a courtroom? "Blessed are the peacemakers" in the Pentagon? Give me a break!”

The Ten Commandments are God’s Love Letter to us. He tells us his will for us and how we live our lives but it is law. The Beattitudes give us the most important thing Christians have to give. Grace. So what I want to do today is encourage you read, learn and know “The Sermon On The Mount” but it is long and it is hard to remember and a lot of the words or long so I want to give you something more concrete which are the three simple lessons I have tried to teach my own children.

With my own children I have tended to skip over the ten commandments. They know how I feel about the Sermon On The Mount but none of them are that bright and they like their father have short attention spans. If I am totally honest I probably have dropped the ball on the Gospel in general and have told them as I am now telling you that there are only three really important rules to living a happy life:

1. Never run unless your being chased
2. Never eat anything bigger then your head.
3. Never fry bacon in the nude.

Now normally I have said this for a laugh but in thinking over the last few months about what I had to share, I really have come back to these as some fundamental truths that you can hearken back to in order to remember what you need to do in order to accept the call that is being given you. These are really good rules. Listen up!

NEVER RUN UNLESS YOUR BEING CHASED
I know that this runs against everything you have learned playing sports and regarding training and lifetime fitness but no matter what anyone might tell you…. Running is bad. People my age who are running (no offense to your parents who might run or jog) tend to be running from something and it is exhausting, bad for your knees and generally leads over all to deterioration that you would never expect. Running if you are running for the wrong reasons is especially bad.

The worse reasons to run are pride. You want to be toned. You want to be in shape and you want other people to see your in shape. This is Pride. A better reason to run is that you want to be a good steward of your body but, talk to a trainer and talk to life time runners and most will tell you there are better ways.

When I say do not run I am using it as a metaphor. Actual running is problematic to me, a middle aged fat person but generally what you see as you grow up is that we are always running. We are running for our job, for our kids, for our parents, for our church. Running here and there and often confusing being busy with leading a purpose driven life. Running is a metaphor for what the world expects from you.

So here I am. Am I telling you not to run ever? No. I am telling you to only run when you are being chased.

The Bad news is…You are being chased. You are always being chased. What are the things that chase you and make you run? As I said before it is work, family, church and in your case school and grades and preparing yourself to serve. There is so much to do and so little time. So you have to run. Even though I don’t like it I almost feel like God expects it of us. It can be God pleasing, Graceful and beneficial to all if we run, but how are you going to run? Once again, God tells us how to run through his scripture.

1 Corinthians 9:24
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize.

Ahhh… we run to win the prize. But what is that prize? Money? Success? A big house? A big car? What is that prize? The simple answer is eternal life but you are 17 and 18 and your going to all live for ever so what is the prize while you here on earth? The prize is what God lets you do to serve others. I know this sounds kind of stupid but if you do not find a way to serve, you are lost.

So your going off to college or off into life. What can you do every day? Take care of the people God throws into your life. He will throw them. Every one of them requires something from you. Sometimes it is a smile. Sometimes it is saying good morning. Sometimes it is saying “God, you look awful, are you OK?” God in his great mercy is always throwing people in you path to serve and help and sometimes he blesses you and gives you an opportunity to speak to them about his Grace. Not all the time. But sometimes.

And what you will find, and this is a remarkable thing. When you do things to God’s Glory and help the people he throws in your life, it releases good chemicals in your brain. You feel better about your self, your life and your purpose. O do not waste opportunities and never believe that this is anything but selfish. When you give to others they, along with God give back to you a thousand fold and you do not have to wait for heaven and its promise but sometimes for brief moments can create a little heaven on earth.

So…Run to God’s glory! Accept the gifts that he has given you to minister and accept the joy that ministry can create and then accept your calling to it.

NEVER EAT ANYTHING BIGGER THEN YOUR HEAD

Wow. This is a really important one. I do not know why Jesus never got around to this in his public ministry. When he fed the 5000 I don’t know why he didn’t say “don’t eat too much! You will be uncomfortable later! Your going to cramp up later when you swim! But he didn’t say any of that then so I guess I have to. Greed is bad. Greed and gluttony are one of the seven deadly sins in every culture whether Christian, muslim, jew or pagan and there is a reason. Greed will kill your soul. Quickly or slowly. We all sin so we all have greed. I am a bankruptcy lawyer and every day I meet with people who without even realizing it were sucked in by greed. I can have a bigger house, a bigger and better car. More things. More stuff. Don’t get confused.

Don’t get weighed down with stuff. Your God and the people you get to minister to are important. Stuff is sin and I am the greatest sinner among you. I love stuff. Meaningless stuff. Houses, cars, pools, food, drink, vacations. I love them all. There is great hymn called “Chief of Sinners” and I am that guy. But I know God expects better from me and more then anything else wants better for me so I try (and fail) to free myself from stuff and greed. And I fail every day but I know these things make me unhappy. There are people who will tell you that Greed is good. There was a mivie called “Wall Street” with a character named Gordon Gecko and he told a class of business students that Greed is Good. This is the biggest lie.

Our country is a democracy and it is built on capitalism and capitalism is awesome. Jesus was not capitalist and he was not a socialist and he was not a communist. Jesus was Jesus. Capitalism is a way of managing an economy and jesus could not have cared less. Capitalism is awesome though but we have lost the concept of stewardship. We need to be stewards of what we are given and think long term. Our economy became focused on this quarters profits and we are paying a price for that but Christian capitalist need to play the log game. We do not know how long we are here but while we are here we need to take care of what has been given to us.

So, What do you need? You need to take care of yourself and prepare yourself to live life and serve. God will provide but God expects us to not be poor stewards. We have got to take care of ourselves and those he has entrusted so that we can have a strong platform to serve others. There are many who have entrusted themselves to be cared for by God while they serve. I would argue that your teachers have fallen into that class. I admire those people but most of us, most of you are not gifted with that type of wisdom and faith so if you are like me, weak and questioning, try and make plans and decisions which allow you to take care of yourself and your family, so then you can make the next step and take care of others.

What don’t you need? You don’t need stuff. Big things make for big unhappiness. Some wise man once said that God rarely uses success in this world to bring people to him. Be suspicious of people who tell you that God wants you to have nice things. God wants you to have what you need to fulfill his plan. Maybe his plan is for you top be rich and have a lot of nice things but boy, if you get there ask yourself a lot of hard questions about why you are there and what you should be doing. There is a thing called success theology which says that God Blesses those who do good things here on earth with riches and success and I find that abhorrent. God’s promise to us is eternal life in heaven. If you have a miserable short life here on earth and end up in heaven all the riches on earth are meaningless. God promises us better. As I said I am a sinner and I covet things and I cannot shake it as of yet but I know that this is not God’s plan for me and that every dime I have should be used for him rather then used for my p[leasure and happiness here on earth.

God is clear that I need to Use what I do have for others. And I fail. And you will too. But that is what we need to aim for.

Share what you have. Your time, talents and possessions and you will lead a happier (if sometimes poorer) life here on earth. They tried to teach you to share in Kindergarten but…wow, I have found it to be a hard lesson.

Stewardship. As a born and raised Missouri Synod Lutheran I believe that we invented Stewardship. I am wrong. In every culture you are encouraged to be a steward of what is given you. Watch it, take care of it. Use it meagerly and judiciously and be careful with it, until God tells you to spend it all and give it all away with a glad heart. All the things in life that tempt you to covet and want are the things that are bigger then your head. Don’t eat them. They make you sick and unhappy. God gives you as Christians a greater gift and once again you need to accept that gift, and accept your call.

NEVER FRY BACON IN THE NUDE

There used to be only two rules but about 20 years ago I was in Las Vegas (which is truly a Godless place) playing poker and the conversation around the table was turning to deeper things and I was winning so I shared those two rules with the table and a man at the table told me that I forgot one and when I inquired as to what he thought the third rule should be he told me:

“Never Fry Bacon In The Nude”.

Wow. This made a great deal of sense to me. I like to cook. In my family we express affection primarily through pork products and bacon is the most revered of pork. I fry a lot of bacon and it spatters and hot grease…. It is problem. So I though long and hard about it at the time and even more later. This definitely was something I needed to teach my children.

Really the principal is a simple one. You need to be protected where your are most delicate. That’s what your parents and teachers and pastors have been trying to do with all the silly rules that they have made for you over the years.
You need to make good grades: Protection against not preparing for your race.
You need to have a curfew: Protection against all the bad things that life will teach you go on after midnight.
You have to obey the speed limit: if you don’t you might not just get a ticket but you might hurt yourself or someone else.
The rules they have place for you are probably endless but these people, these rule givers have been putting on God’s armor for you. Clothing you in it, perhaps against your wille but now you are going to be leaving their care. Whether it is now or a few years from now, God willing and with your parents blessing you will leave their house, as you are leaving this school and now it is time to make sure that your not standing out there, frying bacon….naked.

Put on your apron. These people have given you their time, their judgment and their love. They didn’t want anything from you. So what is your apron. First of all I hope it is your faith that they have nurtures in you. If you are lacking there (as I was) then you have some work to do and that is great but what should you do exactly?

1. Try not to wander too far from your parents, your family and their values. These people love you unconditionally and though sinners like you want nothing but your happiness.
2. Try not leave church behind. Your parents have tried and your teachers have tried to convince you of the value of church and if you are at all like me they have failed. Church is boring, they sing stupid songs and generally the pastor does not speak to you. Grow up. Going to church is an act of discipline each week. If nothing else it shows a small amount of respect for your God and creator. Try and take the time. If you do, you build up community and it is wonderful and will support you the rest of your life. I didn’t go to church much in college. You might not either. Try and remember that it is a mistake and get back as soon as you can.
3. Be careful of who you chose to associate with, date and marry. Sinners seem to be a lot more fun… and they are initially until you have to crawl around inside their lives. The same is true for your spouse. Crazy woman are always more fun and I have always been attracted to them but I married a women who I thought was sane, rational and had good judgment. I have now realized I was wrong but that took 25 years or so. But do not start out with crazy. Your friends and the [people you love shape your life. Put on your apron and chose people who are going to protect you, Cherish you and help send you on a life that is pleasing to God and joyful for you to live.

When you put on your apron do not forget that you a sinner. You are going to tell people that you are a Christian and the people close to you are going to see you sin and sometimes sin big. Gossip, cheating, lying, being mean, being selfish, being self involved are all the sins of good Christians. So realize even with your apron on, you are always Being a hypocrite (your always naked). So as a naked sinful person who can you look to for an example? Start once again with the parents and teachers God has given you. Use them. Even if you cannot follow the advice, get the advice. But for I me I always look to my favorite disciple.

Peter. Everyone looks to Paul and Paul was a genius and wrote some of the most beautiful things ever recorded. But Paul was sure of his faith in a way I never have been. Paul would be happy to suffer every sling and arrow for the one true faith and I would run for the hills. Paul is admirable but almost like the example of Christ, I cannot get get there from here. So God in his wisdom of scripture gave me Peter.

Peter was a screw up. A drop out. Selfish. Never saw the big picture and when I read about him denying Christ three times shortly after professing his undying loyalty I think….that is me. You might be better then that. I know Olivia, Kate and Erin and they all have the potential of being Paul. I don’t. I am weak and maybe you are too but never doubt that God will use you for his purpose. He will use your weakness to shape you and teach others. We are all broken. Many Christians rise above it and leave transcendant lives but most don’t. You are broken by original sin. Broken by the world but God can still make you whole.

A brief story about about a camper from Traverse City.

Even as a broken sinner God can you have you Minister to others through through your brokenness. God did it with Peter and Peter was a huge screw up. He made Peter the first Pope and some people say he did it just to thumb his nose at Satan and say if I can do it with him, I can do it with anyone and YOU CANT WIN!

So put on your apron. Don’t fry bacon in the nude. Do not be arrogant and think you can do it on your own. You cannot. No one can. Put on the apron provided by your family, your true friends, the church, prayer and scripture. Wear that apron proudly and accept it as the gift of your heritage and the love of the people God put in your life and then accept the call to minister out of your strength, and your brokenness to others.

CONCLUSION

I have talked to much and I apologize. I was so overwhelmed by this opportunity that I got wordy but it all seems importance. Let me leave you with a few simple thoughts.

Be kind. God will throw a lot of damaged people into your life. They will be a huge inconvenience and annoyance to you. These people need your kindness, your time and your wisdom. Give it wherever and whenever you can.

Secondly, Take care of the people God throws in your way. Whether they seem like they need you or not, never doubt that God has put them in your life for a reason. Minister to them. Pray about your roll in their lives and then try and follow through.

Accept when you fail to do this and cannot deliver what people need. Remember you are a sinner and have limited abilities of discernment and just because it seems like you have failed you never know how their time with you will be beneficial towards their walk towards faith an eternal life.

The best news is that God will use you. He has a plan for you of eternal salvation and the gift through the sacrifice of his Son Jesus Christ.

Accept that gift and accept the call.

God’s best Blessings to the 2009 graduating class of Holt Lutheran High.