Vacation II Sea World

We hit Sea World on Monday. There were not many people there. I am not a big fan of any amusement parks. They provide a combination of crowds, children, thrill rides, bad food, expensive food and walking which I do not really appreciate in ANY way. Still, as a father accommodations have to be made... even as a bad father and I am above all things a bad father. So when we sojourned to southern California to the little town of Oceanside a pilgrimage to Sea World was requested and in the spirit of being a guilt ridden, lousy father I acquiesced. It was of course several months ahead of the trip where it was easy to be magnanimous.

Being from St. Louis where Anhueser Busch rules it was relatively easy to make some requests from AB employees and score some free passes. I cannot imagine spending the 55 or 58 bucks and going without the passes but it felt like getting something for free. We drove the 30 or so miles from our condo to Sea World which is located a few miles north of San Diego and near the Old Town of San Diego. No matter what anywhere you drive in southern California without traffic is a beautiful drive and it was relaxing to head down there. It was the Monday before Thanksgiving and the parking lot indicated that we would be blessed with not too much in thew way of crowds. They did jack us for 10 dollars to park on their massive lot but it was a small price to pay. It was a hazy and cool day with patches of blue sky and temperatures in the low seventies which did not feel bad for November.

Entering the park was relatively easy and lines were blessedly short. We chose a path and veered off checking for the times for various shows and saw that The Dolphin show was about to begin. Like all shows it was in a steep seated auditorium sloping down to a large pool. A Jimmy Buffet knock off was warming up the crowd with acoustic guitar sing alongs and we were admonished that the first 4 rows would definitely get wet. Blessedly we were late and went way up high on one end.

There is something off putting and cruel about any trained animal show but at the introduction when they begin to make themselves out as great friends of the dolphins by working closely with them and “communicating” with them it makes me a little queasy. Still, despite what Douglas Adams might have told us they are just fish..or mammals..or whatever the hell they are. They pick a good looking blond family of three with a cute little daughter to be special guest hosts and after introducing them they introduce the three dolphins which are the ostensible “stars” of the show. each has a thin, pony tailed girl as its “trainer.” After all the introductions they swim the dolphins around and they use their tales to splash people in the front rows and an uproarious time is had by all. I watch with my somewhat bored family a little bemused. The actual “show lasts about 15 minutes with the dolphins (or at least one of them) jumping high over a rope and then jumping high to snag a flag. All in all it was nothing.

Shamu was out on this day so there was not as much to do. Pat (my 17 year old) had always wanted to swim with the dolphins so that was scheduled for early afternoon and while he waited with his mom for instructions Laura, Jon and I rode up the revolving space needle as things were described to us which we could not see through the fog. Evidently the Sea World Space Needle has an excellent view of San Diego as well as the ocean. We could see neither but it was delightful anyway as I like looking down on other people.

We came back to the “dolphin center” which as a series of pools and there were four groups of people each with their own “trainer” and dolphin. Over all it looked pretty fun. They got to pet the dolphin, dance with the dolphin, make the dolphin roll over, make the dolphin jump and generally be in close proximity to flipper. Pat seemed to enjoy it tricked out in his wet suit with three girls standing in the cold chest high water. the dolphin also seemed to enjoy it as we all took pictures. When it ended, on top of the 150 bucks paid for the 1/2 hour we got to buck up for some more pics of Pat taken by the professional photographer. it was pricey but once again... he got to play with flipper, and we got to watch.

We had a crappy lunch at one of the two open (sit down) eating establishments which purported to be a bar-b-q-place. it begged the question... again... about why amusement park food must taste like bland, warmed over crap? They are serving a captive audience. They know they will prepare 1000’s of meals in a day. They are owned by Anhueser Busch where quality is everything and brand name protection a high concern. They had baby back ribs which looked tasty. They were stringy and flavorless. My boys had cheeseburgers (dry and overcooked), Laura had a chicken fingers (bland and dry) and Sandy had a club sandwich (big, dry and flavorless, somewhat salvaged by mayo). How hard is it to make a decent hamburger? I can do it and so can 20 fast food chains. Even though the prices are absurd what I would not give for the chance to pay more for some chain fast food. it made me want to quit my job and set up a Weber Kettle and cook brats and burgers and hot dogs all priced at 12 bucks each with a bag of chips and fountain soda. I could give them half my profit and make a fortune. August the IV... if you are reading this... let me help.

We closed out the trip by walking quickly through some aquariums and exhibits of sharks and penguins and some fish and stuff that compared poorly to the Shedd aquarium in Chicago. In the shark tank you got to walk under it on a conveyor belt in a tube and THAT was kind of cool. The sharks look rather big and vicious and sadly enough did look vaguely like lawyers circling a fee. We petted some star fish. Laura and Pat were of course hungry after not eating their crappy food and bought cotton candy which they proceeded not to eat, calling it “lousy”. How do you screw up cotton candy? We sent the kids to the one “thrill ride ”that was open which appeared to be a roller coaster log flume thing and we settled down in the Anhueser Busch tasting and hospitality room. Clearly this was the high point of the day for me and though they had a variety of exotic brews.... I got two Busch beers. We went and paid for the Dolphin pictures and high tailed it out of there.

Once again, I felt lucky that the place was so empty but was distraught at the over all average to bad quality of the whole experience. it would seem that with a captive audience and very little price resistance that you could create something that was engaging, educational and entertaining (that is what we bloggers call alliteration) and do something really good and charge a lot for it. My son Pat had a good time with the dolphins. He said they felt like uncooked hot dog. My wife was happy because of that. Laura, Jon and I were bored or worse... annoyed. Over all it is 3 Slingers on the 10 scale.