Friday, December 25, 2009

Brian Henneman Christmas Show/Awesome

Sooooo... one of the great regrets is, as i age prematurely and stay alive (against all odds) I am seeing less and less live music. This is sad on a number of fronts because I love live shows and it indicates the obvious deterioration that people who know me cannot be surprised by. It is not longer surprising me...which is also sad. For years I have been wanting to see Brian Henneman's Christmas show at the Duck Room. For years I have gotten finished with our families rather rigorous Christmas schedule and
decided that between:

1. What is the right thing to do,
2. I am very tired,
3. I do not want my wife irritated with me,
4. I am tired.

For those reasons I have always ducked the show which sounded like a festive thing. Henneman has fronted his band The Bottle Rockets for years since the halcyon days of alt-country when Uncle Tupelo tapped him to hold up the elctric end on their tours. He hails from the Festus/Crystal City metroplex and frankly...really tears it up. His band The Bottle Rockets did there best work a long time ago but he wrote and cut some brilliant songs with them over the years. Henneman has been a reasonably colorful guy around town over the years showing up and playing at a lot of other peoples shows.

This year my son Jon was in town for Christmas. Jon has always been bitter at the The Duck Room and their 21 and up shows which precluded him from seeing a lot of good concerts and tended to relegate him to the big rooms like the Pageant. He was blessed with seeing some shows at Mississippi Nights before they close but not nearly enough and then they closed. He has been in college and working out of town in summers so... he has not been home a lot to enjoy the beauty that IS the Duck Room.

As I stated Henneman has been doing this Christmas Show on Christmas Evening for years and I have never had the energy or motivation to go but this year...finally...Jon and I made the trip to U-City and saw the show. When we walked in around 9:30 the venerable St. louis "personality" Fred Friction was opening. Friction is famous for his former band The Highway Matrons and for running the now closed and lamented "Frederick's Music Lounge" down on Chippewa. Friction is a frightening tragicomic figure who is probably in his mid fifties but looks like a 70 year old heroin addict. He resembles a dark haired Iggy Pop and I do not say that in a kind way. Still, he was fun to watch for a little.

Henneman came on stage promptly at 10 and immediately tore in to the back catalogue with the old Bottle Rockets ballad of "Kerosene". A lot of Henneman's songs spring from the newspapers but this was a particular one about a Jefferson County family that decided that since they were out of kerosene their heater would work just as well with gasoline. Ooops. It was a middle aged crows and the place was about 1/2 full and there was a nice middle aged lady fan, drunk, calling out all the songs. He played a lot of the Bottle Rocket catalogue and hit all the high points over a two hour set including Indianapolis, 1000 Dollar Car and Sunday Sports In His Boxer Shorts. In the middle he strapped on an electric and tore it up on the first electric version of "Early In The Morning" that I have ever heard.

He then brought out a guy names "Steve" who joined him for a great version of the Old Crow Medicine Shows song "Wagon Wheel" and a few more Bottle Rocket chestnuts with Fred Friction on spoons. It was sweet. The show rapped up promptly at midnight with his classic "Welfare Music" and I think the whole crowd left feeling strangely and satisfyingly full on this Christmas night and i think my son and I might have a new tradition. At least for next year.

Friday, December 18, 2009

Diner Review (Sort of) Chris' Pancake & Dining and a harsh critique of 5 Guys, Burgers and Fries

Sooooo...one oif the good thing (among many) about being home with a fever is that even though you are too light headed and sick to work, you are in no way too light headed and sick to go get food that appeals to you and spew out whatever vile filth rolls into your head to criticize same in your inane little blog. This entire review will be written while watching the film "Rain Man". They have just come down the elevator at Ceasar's Palace wearing matching suits. I plan to be done before he announces that the girl is "sparkly".

Today we move to the murky gray edges of Diners that are not diners at all but instead are restaurants. That is Chris' Pancake and Dining, part of the "Bartolinos" family. Chris' Pancake and Dining used to be Chris' Pancake and Fine Dining. I don't know what happened to the "fine" part because it truly is fine. Chris' is on East Watson directly before it merges into Hampton and at the corner of Southwest. You can find out anything you want to know by their web site:

http://www.bartolinosrestaurants.com/chrispancakes.htm

The place is old school St. Louis Hills/The Hill and I love it. As I said, not a diner. They have a full bar and they have dinner. All menus are available all day and this is important. They have of course prime rib. Why is it that every restaurant south of 44 has to have prime rib on their menu like it was their job? Anyway... all we care about is breakfast and they do an excellent job. They have smoking and non smoking sections but the non smoking section tends to be against the outside wall and it can be rather chilly against the big window.

They have a set of booths but you have to be lucky to get a seat there. The place has a nice small vibe and there are limited site lines and it feels like it is kind of private even when crowded. There is normally however a table against the back wall next to the kitchen which regulars (always men) sit at and one of them is what we and one of my partners like to call an "explainer" in that he is ALWAYS loudly explaining things to his breakfast company and everyone in the place gets to hear it. There are... characters and characters are cool.

They have good iced tea. They have all the eggs omelette's and fixins. Their cream gravy is of the slightly thinner variety with nice sausage chunks. But....wait for it...wait for it....great hash browns. Shredded and not in a patty but kind of a flattened clump with just the right amount of...brown-ness. A great smackerel of goodness served with a biscuit. Heaven. The Diner Review heartily recommends Chris' Pancake & Dining. Oh, and they have pancakes.

***

In my fantasy football league I play with one of my partners, a private investigator and a bunch of miserable, awful, terrible plaintiff's lawyers. They have no souls.... anyway... I digress. I made the mistake of criticizing 5 guys burgers and fries. It seemed absolutely unremarkable in every way to me. People had touted it so highly that one night, perhaps after drinking too much I went and tried it. There was nothing wrong with the burger. The hand cut fries were ample but I came away unsatisfied. Anyway, I stated this to the group and they jumped me en masse. Naturally I parried and defended myself but being a shallow creature, very insecure and full of self doubt. I decided today that I needed to go back.

I went for lunch. I was sober. I went alone with only a Wall Street Journal for company. The place has no charm. They stole the Fuddruckers idea of using bags of their own ingredients to create a que to line up and order. The menu is extrmely limited to burgers and fries but i find that positive. The staff is polite and attentive and busy. They sing. I like that too. This time I ordered a bacon cheeseburger and fries and a small drink. I want to say, the bacon cheeseburger was excellent. Lots of well cooked, crumbled bacon. It was without fault. I got it naked, as God intended. That was the end of my good experience. Let me tell you what i did not like:

1. The offered mayonnaise as a hamburger condiment. One word, unforgivable.

2. It is a national chain. I hate national chains.

3. They have an "iced tea system" which provides the illusion of fresh brewed tea with two urns for sweet and unsweet. These are actually just the cleverly designed founts for the dreaded fountain iced tea. Lying to tea drinkers like myself is again... unforgivable.

4. Hand cut fries. I love them. But theirs suck. There is nothing original about hand cut fries. My grandma did it for years before my parents had her killed for trying to poison us. Every steak and cheese company has had them for ten years. They are no big deal and when done correctly are delicious. These suck. Big, meaty and undercooked. Like eating a bunch of new potatos. Blech!

5. Bad atmoshpere, bright lighting and cheap tables that wobble. Why?

6. Perhaps it is because they serve everything in a brown paper bag. Is this supposed to be charming?

So, I don't care for it. When in Des Peres....Village Bar all the way. And to my fantasy football mates. Your idiots for liking this place. Lemmings captivated by a cute name and slightly different packaging.

Thursday, December 17, 2009

Fever Ramblings!

I have had a sick early winter. Evidently drinking too much, not getting enough sleep and being stressed out about, your job, your marriage, your children, global warming, death panels, your parents health, your friend's marriages, the state of organized religion, the alarming spread of gonhorrea in certain communities, the economy, my clients, Sarah Palin, Glenn Beck....oh Glenn Beck and well...everything is not such a good idea. That and a trip to Chicago with a bunch of "Christian" men might have been the death of me. So I get back to town, work a few days and then yesterday at late morning decide that it might be best if I lay down on my couch at work due to general dizziness. At 4 I went home to take a little nap before my wife came home and later surfaced at 7 with a 102 fever.

There is something about a fever. It legitimizes sickness. there is no pretending the fever outside of Ferris Bueller. Fevers make me sweat and make me shiver and make me ache and make me have the coolest dreams. It would appear my fever has broken but I still feel like crap. Perhaps it is getting all the booze out of my system. The bad news is that it appears I made my wife sick with a fever which means I have no one to wait on me. The lesson is this... keep your staff healthy or being sick is no good.

I never remember the fever dreams but in those immediate, semi awake moments where are still vestiges of them on the edge of thought. There is something much more vivid about the feeling. Not a dream and not a nightmare but just such an Alice In Wonderland after glow.... as I sweat and shiver. Weird. I kind of like it

***
Being sick let me finish this book I have been working on for a month. IT WAS JUST SUCH A DENSE GOOD READ! It was a book by Victor La Valle called "The Big Machine". It is a really odd work of fiction and although looking back on it the pieces all seem so disjointed it follows the journey of a junky, through what seems like redemption but might indeed be hell. It requires the susp[ension of disbelief in a large measure but it is worth the effort as he deals with what seems by the end to be ALL of life's important questions. I am calling this my favorite book of the year and it is pretty late in the game.
There is something about this book that feels like my fever dreams. Maybe it is just the timing but it is a book with a lot of pain. A lot of angst and a lot of beauty that takes us on a long journey.... that works. Buy it.

***

What about that nice young man Tiger Woods? Well, boys will be boys. Anyway, as a middle aged man I am embarrassed for him and for men in general but at this point all I can really say is what a great golfer and.... what a tool. Really. And I do not come at it from a sanctimonious angle at all.

***

Christmas is coming. All the presents are NOT bought. The kids are coming home. We have not got the Christmas letter out and will not get it out prior to Christmas. My dad is in the hospital (he passed out and toppled in a restaurant). We are missing my nieces graduation from Missouri State tomorrow (congrats Jenny Becker!). I am missing a lot of work. I have a lot of clients and partners who want a lot of stuff before Christmas I will not get done. Everything seems to be in disarray and yet... everything is good and it is going to be a great Christmas. Seriously. Now back to my regularly scheduled fever.

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Idiot Rebuttals From People Who Should Be Working

On December 8th, 2009 Bert Stevens of the Wall Street Journal wrote an editorial I list below. Because I love the Journal but get annoyed by their smug one sidedness on the editorial page and because my brain chemistry has issues I responded. In fairness I print his article in the whole giving it more ink then it could possibly deserve.

'I am Alpha and Omega, the beginning and the end, the first and the last." Is it not obvious that the vision of apocalypse as it was revealed to Saint John of Patmos was, in fact, global warming?

Here's a partial rundown of some of the ills seriously attributed to climate change: prostitution in the Philippines (along with greater rates of HIV infection); higher suicide rates in Italy; the 1993 "Black Hawk Down" battle in Somalia; an increase in strokes and heart disease in China; wars in the Middle East; a larger pool of potential recruits to terrorism; harm to indigenous peoples and "biocultural diversity."

All this, of course, on top of the Maldives sinking under the waves, millions of climate refugees, a half-dozen Katrina-type events every year and so on and on—a long parade of horrors animating the policy ambitions of the politicians, scientists, climate mandarins and entrepreneurs now gathered at a U.N. summit in Copenhagen. Never mind that none of these scenarios has any basis in some kind of observable reality (sea levels around the Maldives have been stable for decades), or that the chain of causation linking climate change to sundry disasters is usually of a meaningless six-degrees-of-separation variety.

Still, the really interesting question is less about the facts than it is about the psychology. Last week, I suggested that funding flows had much to do with climate alarmism. But deeper things are at work as well.

One of those things, I suspect, is what I would call the totalitarian impulse. This is not to say that global warming true believers are closet Stalinists. But their intellectual methods are instructively similar. Consider:

• Revolutionary fervor: There's a distinct tendency among climate alarmists toward uncompromising radicalism, a hatred of "bourgeois" values, a disgust with democratic practices. So President Obama wants to cut U.S. greenhouse gas emissions by 83% from current levels by 2050, levels not seen since the 1870s—in effect, the Industrial Revolution in reverse. Rajendra Pachauri, head of the U.N.'s Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change, insists that "our lifestyles are unsustainable." Al Gore gets crowds going by insisting that "civil disobedience has a role to play" in strong-arming governments to do his bidding. (This from the man who once sought to preserve, protect and defend the Constitution.)

• Utopianism: In the world as it is, climate alarmists see humanity hurtling toward certain doom. In the world as it might be, humanity has seen the light and changed its patterns of behavior, becoming the green equivalent of the Soviet "new man." At his disposal are technologies that defy the laws of thermodynamics. The problems now attributed to global warming abate or disappear.

• Anti-humanism: In his 2007 best seller "The World Without Us," environmentalist Alan Weisman considers what the planet would be like without mankind, and finds it's no bad thing. The U.N. Population Fund complains in a recent report that "no human is genuinely 'carbon neutral'"—its latest argument against children. John Holdren, President Obama's science adviser, cut his teeth in the policy world as an overpopulation obsessive worried about global cooling. But whether warming or cooling, the problem for the climate alarmists, as for other totalitarians, always seems to boil down to the human race itself.

• Intolerance: Why did the scientists at the heart of Climategate go to such lengths to hide or massage the data if truth needs no defense? Why launch campaigns of obstruction and vilification against gadfly Canadian researchers Stephen McIntyre and Ross McKitrick if they were such intellectual laughingstocks? It is the unvarying habit of the totalitarian mind to treat any manner of disagreement as prima facie evidence of bad faith and treason.

• Monocausalism: For the anti-Semite, the problems of the world can invariably be ascribed to the Jews; for the Communist, to the capitalists. And as the list above suggests, global warming has become the fill-in-the-blank explanation for whatever happens to be the problem.

• Indifference to evidence: Climate alarmists have become brilliantly adept at changing their terms to suit their convenience. So it's "global warming" when there's a heat wave, but it's "climate change" when there's a cold snap. The earth has registered no discernable warming in the past 10 years: Very well then, they say, natural variability must be the cause. But as for the warming that did occur in the 1980s and 1990s, that plainly was evidence of man-made warming. Am I missing something here?

• Grandiosity: In "SuperFreakonomics," Steve Levitt and Stephen Dubner give favorable treatment to an idea to cool the earth by pumping sulfur dioxide into the upper atmosphere, something that could be done cheaply and quickly. Maybe it would work, or maybe it wouldn't. But one suspects that the main reason the chapter was the subject of hysterical criticism is that it didn't propose to deal with global warming by re-engineering the world economy. The penchant for monumentalism is yet another constant feature of the totalitarian mind.

Today, of course, the very idea of totalitarianism is considered passé. Yet the course of the 20th century was defined by totalitarian regimes, and it would be dangerous to assume that the habits of mind that sustained them have vanished into the mists. In Copenhagen, they are once again at play—and that, comrades, is no accident.

Write to bstephens@wsj.com

***

The St. Louis Diner Review Responded:

It is after all the opinion page but still... I am ambivalent about Copenhagen as I am about Healthcare. We are going to do "something". There is a "problem". There are a lot of fanatics and it is likely we will take many mis steps. Still your application of these criteria should give you pause as these same "Stalinist" Intellectual Methods" can be applied to another group of strident, anti government conservatives in the Republican Party, the Conservative movement and the Tea Party People. Without being too wordy:

Revolutionary Fervor: Sometimes the tree of Liberty must be watered with the blood of Patriots!" How many times has Fox new aired this platitude from Tea Parties across the country?

Utopianism: It WAS a perfect world when we ALL lived in harmony under the great leader Ronald Reagan. We need more posters and statues of him erected on every corner like...Lenin I guess.

Anti-Humanism: Although Humanism is given 8 different definitions by the American Humanist Society: http://www.jcn.com/humanism.html, I am assuming that you are referring to the over all value of humans and once again, with sweeping iterations regarding the value of people from illegal immigrants, death row inmates, the poor (read lazy) and everyone who does not subscribe to their agenda there are few things less Humanist then this new far right coalition.

Intolerance: Glenn Beck and Rush Limbaugh (see also demagogues).

Monocausalsim(my spell check refused to acknowledge this as a word) : All the worlds ills have been caused by and continue to be exacerbated by Barrack Hussein Obama and his Democratic (socialist) cabal.

Indifference to Evidence: Total aversion to science across the board from 7 Day Creation all the way to global warming.

Grandiosity: Glenn Beck, Rush Limbaugh, Ann Coulter and the total destruction of 250 years of Democracy morphed into socialism in one fell swoop, once again by the hated Barrack Hussein Obama and his aforementioned cabal.

Seriously, opinion is opinion. I was born a Republican but the party left me alone in the middle. The people on the far right and the far left frighten me because they threaten my values but this type of "analysis" from such an esteemed paper is evidence to me of another creeping bias from that great American icon Rupert Murdoch. I would like to see the birthers review his naturalization file sometime.

Love the WSJ. It is America's last great Newspaper on a daily basis. God's Blessings on you and your family. Seriously and without irony, I admire what people in your position do. I just sometimes find the methods you use deplorable.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

Grumpy, Idiotic, Wrong Headed Self Righteousness Regarding The BCS

Sooooo....Nebraska broke my heart. If they would have beaten Texas then there was a chance that my undefeated alma mater the much vaunted Texas Christian University Horned Frogs would be playing the seemingly indomitable Alabama Crimson Tide for the national championship. Or perhaps do to the vagaries of the BCS computer system Cincinnati might have leap frogged my Horn Frogs to fight it out but alas we will never now. Texas won...after time ran out....but not really which allowed them to squeak out over a not all that great Nebraska team.

So we are left with Alabama Texas. Two undefeated teams from major BCS conferences get to duke it out and Bama will very likely smoke Texas. My Horned Frogs will be playing Boise State in the "We Get No Respect And Everyone Knows That We Should Have Been Given A Chance To Play The David And Goliath Bowl"! But now we never will know. Even more galling is that the winner of the Forida/Cincinnati game will likely be named the number 2 team in the country. That will make me sad. So in order to make me happy I want Texas to beat Alabama so both of them have one loss and for Florida to beat Cincinnati and then of course for TCU to beat hated and godless Boise State. That will leave the Horn Frogs as the only undefeated team in the nation and we will know who the best team in the country was... probable Alabama.

I am sad TCU will not be able to play (and perhaps be humiliated) by Alabama. It really does not matter. With out a playoff the BCS is BS which is stilted for the big conferences which were just, outside of the SEC, not that big. I do not wish for a playoff system but I do miss the old Bowl system which called for things like SEC=Sugar Bowl, Bog 8 (12) Orange Bowl and Big Ten/PAC 10 in the grandaddy of them all... The Rose Bowl. That was cool and had history and provided a lot of people with the claim they were the best in the land. The BCS bastardized it without really answering the question. Alabama should crush Texas and there will be no argument but I will be happy if the Frogs win and are ranked in the top 4, though will deserve number 2.

I can take some small comfort in that they are not playing in the Texas Bowl.

While I am on the subject kudos to the much hated Notre Dame Fighting Irish. It was a move of impressive class to decline a bowl invitation. Seriously, it was the right thing to do and they did it. Playing in a bowl might have defrayed some of the cost of Charlie Weiss' dismissal. Now a nation waits and wonders who will trash their otherwise promising career with the thankless job of coaching the former icon.

So remember. On January 4, 2010... Go Frogs! And remember no matter how it ends up....TCU has already won.

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Ahhhh... Politics...of Waterloos At Home And Abroad

There is a portion, a small and deeply troubled portion, of the massive readership of The Diner Review (estimated circulation 3.6 MILLION readers and that is only because they block me in China) that encourages my noxious, one sided, commie political ramblings soooooo.... here goes.

Health care. Dead before it gets passed. They will pass something. It just will not accomplish anything worthwhile and will polarize us as a people even further. Obama mistakenly believes he has to pass something. Mistake. Health care as an issue is a mistake for any party or President. That is why nothing has been done. It is easy to say that doing nothing is what has gotten us here and that no Republican has ever tried to reform health care other then to push stronger tort reform and damage caps and to provide more and more safety and profit for the insurance companies with zero...ZERO regulation of how they do their job. Let me be clear. They will pass something. let me also be clear, we will still have costs spiraling out of control, drastically in excess of inflation and that for a lot of people, their care will suffer as we adjust to the new rules. I would prefer they pass nothing to this and unfortunately it is not "getting it right". I still admire the courage it took to try and do something. It has been and will be (as the republicans predicted) his Waterloo. It could not have been anything else. Rahm Emanuel should have told him. The Democrats do want "European style health care". It will lead to a diminution of care for many and maybe even most of it.

My father in law is a very thoughtful man who just had a a quadruple bypass. Before he surgery we were riding to the Race Track and discussing Healthcare (4 months ago) and he said, the Bottom line is that we all expect the best possible healthcare and that every measure and technology be used to take care of us in the best possible way... and that there is no way to afford that. He is right. Once again we have built up expectations for top notch health care as a "right" and entitlement. We are spoiled children. And demanding and unforgiving ones.

PREMISE: BUDGET DEFICITS ARE DESTROYING OUR COUNTRY AND WE MUST STOP THIS PROFLIGATE SPENDING IMMEDIATELY! UNLESS IT IS FOR HEALTH CARE.

One commentator suggested that this European Health Care will demand a European style military (not much) suggesting that you cannot do both. Perhaps that is right. Which brings us to:

Afghanistan: "Never Fight A Land War In Asia". Although attributed in our most excellent culture to the movie "The Princess Bride" this was actually an admonition of General Doulas Mac Arthur regarding the Vietnam War. How much does it say about our culture that "The Princess Bride". Is what we remember. My guess would be that the quote well predates Mac as well and goes back to...the Japanese...the British...The French and Napoleon...Alexander...(you get the idea). Whether it is because of the hugeness of the land mass or the hostility of certain areas we (the Republicans and the Obama administration) have forgotten this general Chestnut though my guess is that it was taught to our generals at West Point.

Along with it you can the idea that history has taught over.... well a few thousand years at least and that is that an occupying army always eventually loses. Why? Because the natives live there and never have to "go home". Ultimately they out last you and the will of the people who sent you.

Along with it add that America does not have the time or the patience to engage in any over seas adventure for more then two terms (8 years). There are no exceptions.

Finally in regard to Afghanistan add "Where Empires Go To Die".

PREMISE: BUDGET DEFICITS ARE DESTROYING OUR COUNTRY AND WE MUST STOP THIS PROFLIGATE SPENDING IMMEDIATELY! UNLESS IT IS FOR THE WAR ON TERROR.

Wake up Barrack! In your campaign and in order to win you changed the focus from from Iraq to Afghanistan. Prudence would have dictated abandoning that premise (and promise) and gotten us the hell out of there and spending that money further working up our intelligence and our border security. There is no national security interest in keeping a massive force there. The country cannot (and does not have the will, the history or the government) to be tamed and "civilized".

So far we have 5300 casualties in Iraq and Afghanistan, not counting any of our coalition (soft laugh) partners or any of the indigenous people killed who we clearly do not care about enough even to bother to count. The estimate regarding Iraq and Afghani casualties is about 10,000 in Iraq and 3,000 in Afghanistan. Most of these deaths were caused not by our troops but as collateral damage from insurgent bombings. Not counting dead in Pakistan (no estimates) that is about 20,000 lives expended.

Dead at World Trade Center: 2976.

Deaths in the first Gulf War (where we waded in and destroyed their military and their country) 294. Hmmm....

The U.S. needs a new policy on terror saying that we will do what we initially did in Afghanistan. When attacked we will identify who the attacker is to the best of our ability. We will go after them wherever they hide and exact a huge price on whoever was and is harboring them. We got that done in Afghanistan 7 years ago. Yes, Bush might might have blown getting Osama, but we totally kicked the shit out of that country. Then for reasons that become more and more unclear we took out eye off them and went to Iraq. Oops.

For these two miscalculations...Obama is a one termer. The 24 hour cable news culture does not allow mistakes. Look at that poor Huckabee guy. Career...over. Why, a pardon he made based on his best and humanly (humanely?) fallible judgment. No mistakes guys. We might never have more then a one term legitimately elected President ever again. You heard it here first. I will miss Obama. So will Glenn Beck.

Thursday, December 3, 2009

Vincent C. Immel: Here Is To A VERY Scary Man

We lost one of the good ones at the end of last month. When I remember Law SchoolI remember him. I started Law School in 1984 after a brief (unplanned) respite being a bank teller, restaurant manager and add salesman. They had just started marketing "The New Coke" (oops) and I was starting Law School in the fall. In preparation I watched reruns of "The Paper Chase" and watched crusty,hateful professor Kingsfield butcher and bully and mold the intelligent but easily cowed "Mr. Hart". I was scared and exhilarated at the prospect of this "Socratic Method" and being fairly quick thinking thought that I would fare well not having understood that God had gifted me with a quick tongue and a... quirky intelligence.

When we arrived it was to rumors and rumors of rumors about "Professor Immel". He was a legend. He was a nightmare. He made girls cry. He drove people to quit school. He once killed a man in Mexico and of course he shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die. Oh to inspire such legend. He called on his class methodically arranging them alphabetically and then calling on them from Alpha. Being a Becker I was filleted in the first week but that was a blessing because no one knew how to prepare. You could read your case, read all the cases in the foot notes and read other cases that those cases sent you to, read the commentators, read the contracts outlines and... it would not really help. He would pull out something that seemed esoteric but would of course cut to the heart of the principal he was seeking to illuminate to our facile minds.

I was too scared of him. I watched in awe through the years as my smarter and more mature and more self confident classmates invited him out and invited him to parties and... he always came. I had forgotten until his Memorial Service that whenever he laughed his shoulders would roll and he would throw his whole body into it. But I was intimidated and always watched from a distance and I regret that timidity sincerely because he was a guy of substance. It was not that he was so smart. He was. It was not that his mind worked so well and quickly. It did. It was that he had a passion for his students and for teaching them as well as he possibly could and brought it...every single day for decades. He brought it BIG.

He never married. he often used the example of his girlfriend Esmerelda but... we never saw her. I d wish he would have married because i would have liked to see what his offspring turned out like. At his Memorial his niece referred to him as "Uncle Vinnie" and it was hard to think that way of a man you held in such fear and awe. The Service was at The Cathedral Basilica on Lindell and it was a fitting place. Several hundred of us were there in a gathering of the faithful and there was a shared sense of loss but more then anything else a celebration, in that beautiful Church of a man with a passion who was doing what God had intended him to do. His obit has many of the details:

http://www.stltoday.com/stltoday/news/stories.nsf/deathsobituaries/story/E8DDE4512CF266A28625767D0005D86F?OpenDocument

Also they set up a guest book where people could share memories and it is worth reading. I know this boring if you never met the guy but he was an example of a life well spent.

http://www.legacy.com/gb2/default.aspx?bookID=6189184432009&page=13

The picture is from the Math Organization at Bowling Green University in 1937. He is in the front row on the right.

Saturday, November 28, 2009

The Fantastic Mr. Fox

One of the things about having college age children home is that you want to do things with them. Other then being polite, hungry, broke and bored, they likely do not have a reciprocating interest. A desperate and conniving parent can work these qualities to their benefit occasionally and spend some time with their child or children who are home for the holidays. Notice I do not call it quality time. Quality time is of course a myth developed by over scheduled parents to justify the limited time they (we) spend as parents but even in it’s most defensible form quality time is focused on the parent being “in the moment” and the child is really just reactive or entertained. When your kids are in college quality time would require that they be “engaged” in the idea of interacting with you and generally my children do not. But they will do things with us because they are polite (guilt), hungry, broke or bored. Perhaps some time I will write a little primer for parents as to how to take advantage of these various states.

Yesterday was a full family day. I worked all morning because it is asinine to expect that your college age student would interact with you in any way prior to noon. I came home at 1 after meeting the entire male Kowert/Winstorer clan for a cocktail at Biggies before they ate lunch. These men are big, heavy drinking, huge headed mammals and when congregated it is always prudent to wade in early and wade out quickly. You want to get out before the political discussion… or the fantasy football discussion… or the will Notre Dame win the National Championship discussion starts…. or before the check arrives. So I got home at 1:00 at took the family to O’Connells. Always a winner and we gorged on meat. Jon, who is 21 then went with me to meet some Lutherans at the Village Bar where we cheered briefly for Auburnwho choked away a lead and lost to Alabamaand then we went home to pick up the rest of the family and see “The Fabulous Mr. Fox”.

I was hesitant, reluctant and well… passive aggressive and bitchy as 13 year old girl about having to go to this animated movie I knew nothing about. The fact that it was a Wes Anderson directed effort (Royal Tannenbaums, Rushmore etc…) ameliorated this slightly but not much. Still this was what a “good father” would do in attending a silly movie with his wife and children and not insisting on action or drama or at least a pretty girl. But I went because it was the dreaded “right thing to do” and as we all know I always try to be very competitive in the FATHER OF THE YEAR awards. OK, so it was a tepid effort, it was not taking my kids kayaking in sea caves but it was effort so GET OFF MY ASS!

We attended the movie at the theatre at “Crestwood Court(f/k/a CrestwoodPlaza). Crestwood Courtis a near vacant, sprawling development in mid south countySt. Louisand just south of our home in Lower Webster (Upper Crestwood). The entire family admonished me not to enter the cavernous parking lot which is evidently crumbing in on itself and has several areas no longer safe to drive under or park in but I braved it along with 7 or 8 other cars. Evidently the more intelligent (safer) people park on top of the decaying structure? Crestwood was a vast strip mall which they then enclosed in the 70s and spread it out back when you could still have a mall that was not adjacent to a major highway (the dark ages). It used to have about 75-100 stores. It now has about a dozen, and the movie theatre and has a vague post apocalyptic feel which is unsettling, creepy and kind of cool.

For whatever reason we got all the animated and children’s movies trailers. Should I care? I guess “Alice In Wonderland” with Johnny Depp could be cool but other then that I snoozed and prepared myself for boredom. Happily I was dead wrong, wrongy mc wrongerson. This proved to be an excellent little bit of entertainment. This Ronald Dahl guy was also the author of “James and the Giant Peach” and the seminal children’s story “Charlie And the Chocolate Factory”. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Roald_DahlHe died in 1990 but I think he would have been pleased with what Mr. Anderson did with his story which centers around Mr. Fox. The movie opens with the redoubtable Mr. Fox (George Clooney) and his young wife (Meryl Streep) unsuccessfully engaged in stealing some “squabs”. Out of love for his wife he foregoes a life of thievery and pursues a career as a journalist but alas…

After the birth of a new child he moves to a dangerous neighborhood against the advice of his badger lawyer (Bill Murray) and enters into a plan to rob three awful farmers (successfully) with his possum sidekick only to enter into a death struggle with the three farmers around which the central story develops. The story is a great one in my opinion . http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fantastic_Mr_Fox It is a classic morality play and asks all the big questions about parenting, marriage, our essential nature and… well it is just funny. Selfishly my favorite line is when he is lying in bed and life in his new house is falling down around him and he mutters to the ceiling with his wife turned away from him in bed, “I should have listened to my lawyer”.

Also well done is Jason Schwartzmen’s portrayal of their son “Ash’. Ash is an undersized, uncoordinated, bitchy, petulant unlikable fox who has to deal with his visiting, athletic, yoga practicing cousin. Much character growth and development here. The entire movie is well done. I laughed out loud and in this one case, this holiday weekend the chips fell into place and I enjoyed a few hours where my whole family was enjoying themselves together and unexpectedly. Life generally is not much sweeter then this.

Again…Happy Thanksgiving weekend and GO TCU Horn Frogs!

Friday, November 27, 2009

Post Thanks Giving Introspection On One Of My few Shortcomings

Soooooo…. It is Jimmy Hendrix Birthday! Happy Birthday to one of the great dead, suicidal rock stars. He killed himself before it was really hip. I have always liked Hendrix but never had the passion for him that he obviously deserves. Being a great guitarist and being a black guitarist in the rock genre at that time was a pretty unbelievable thing. Looking back at the fact that he made all that great music with a white rhythm section is even more unbelievable. I really do not know his discography that well and must admit that I prefer the song “Little Wing” by Neil Young to Jimmy’s iconic song of the same name. Still, happy birthday Jimmy… I think you would have been 108 if you had not offed yourself.

Which lead me naturally to consider rap and hip hop. I have long been an old fogey hater of rap and hip hop. I do not even have a good understanding of the distinction between the two. I have tried to wade in occasionally such as when the critical world was ooing and ahhing over Jay-Z’s “Grey Album” but in every case including that one, I didn’t get it. Friends have tried to educate me. They have put what must be good music in my hands but it has never moved me. I have held in particular scorn white rappers (who will remain nameless) and their dreaded and much hated suburban white kids grabbing on to the rap and hip hop culture as it was their own. I found that particularly offensive, that they somehow “related” to the black urban experience that generated songs like “Cop Killer”. I mean seriously, had the man been keeping you down that badly at the mall?

Sadly I am starting to think that I didn’t and don’t “get it” and that the problem is not with the music and those that embrace it but it is indeed with me. It is a great rethinking for someone like myself who knows everything about everything. But seriously, what is more offensive:

1. A pimply faced white kid with a high crown baseball cap with the size tag still on the brim, cocked sideways, with a wife beater and some baggy low hanging cargo jorts and 400 dollar tennis shoes bopping his head to “Money To Blow” by Birdman, featuring Li’l Wayne and Drake (Li’l Wayne by the way has become ubiquitous on Hip Hop and Rock charts almost becoming a self parodying joke) or;
2. A pimply faced white kid with a 100 dollar haircut, American eagle shirt untucked over his long cargo pants and 400 dollar tennis shoes singing along to Journey’s “Don’t Stop Believing” or even worth mouthing the new country, Eagle’s esque pap of Tim Mc Graw?

The first I find obnoxious but the second I pretentiously find totally untenable. What after all is my problem with number 1? Is it any different then white people claiming the blues as their music? Or even Jazz which has always been dominated by black players? Is Eminem being a white rapper any more offensive then Hall and Oates and blue eyed soul?

What brought on all this introspection was a little thing on NPR which was reviewing “The Black Keys” new CD “Black Rock” which is their foray into Hip Hop. The Black Keys are a critically acclaimed blues rock band which once again has never moved me but they went into the studio with “The RZA” and “Mos Def” to blow one out. I know I will likely not pick up the CD or even sample it but Dan Auerbach, their guitarist vocalist said:

“Hip Hop is the future of rock and if you don’t see that your not paying attention”. I thought this pretentious but then he said, “It is really all just American Music”. While not being a nationalist… that sounds about right.

So the bottom line is that I need to get over myself. If I cannot embrace the genre I at least need to acknowledge that it is moving rock music forward. The classic rock format and new country are a retreading of old music which flies in the face of the spirit of rock and roll. I am thinking I need to get a nice shiny white or silver NY Yankees cap to hail my new sensibility. Thoughts?

Thursday, November 26, 2009

THANKS GIVING!

Thanksgiving marks many things each year and as I sit in my big chair finding nothing on TV but that hated parades (I hate parades...children, bands, floats...people) I am reflecting on the day and on a number of things important to the day and to closing out the year:

1. Pork Fest is a stupid tradition. It started from our families way of showing affection (bacon) perhaps with Patrick waking up and smelling bacon and floating (as only a Pat can float) and singing "baaaaaaaacon!" Also the obvious downer of having a child come down the steps, not smelling the bacony goodness and asking questioningly... "bacon?" All bad. Pork Fest has recently involved the Kuklas. Though some question their commitment to pork, unhealthy eating, gorging yourself and sloth in general, they humor us. Sometimes they bring fruit. In any case a minimum of two pounds and more likely three pounds of pork will be cooked and consumed. An attempt will be made to make hash browns. It will fail. I got sick two days ago and was worried that I should not make other people sick so we cancelled the Kukla's this year but now am on the mend and plan on infecting other people with whatever wasting intestinal disease I had. Should be a party.

2. Almost done raking leaves this year.

3. I am contemplating downloading some of the Nivana I never really go into at the appropriate time. I am embarrassed about this. It is not the thing you should admit in your Blog. Just my opinion.

4. Due to my weakened condition my wife is doing all the cooking for pork fest as I switch back and forth between "The Godfather" marathon and "The Gilmore Girls" Thanksgiving Special rerun. The themes seem very similar. I know shortly I will be watching The Detroit Lions lose to Green Bay. It will likely be a bad game. There is something soothing aboiut watching the Lion's and there poor execution, bad coaching, poor tackling etc... even with two wins they still might be the worst franchise in football. But a Thanksgiving tradition.

5. Pork Fest was a success and my daughter decided to be funny referring to my wife as "Judy Attitudy".

6. Thanksgiving always means that i need to start writing the Christmas letter. It seems exhausting to think up anything clever, or bitter about what has been a nice calm year. Perhaps if I have something bad happening to me I could get creative... on the other hand my children might be counted on to help out with something of their own to spur a little angst. It has happened before.

7. The movie "Home Alone" does not hold up to repeated watching.

So what are we thankful for on this Thanksgiving of 2009? I am thankful generally to be here. I am thankful to have my children home as I know every year might be the last year when everyone is home and wakes up here and does not have obligations. Sandy and I take it for granted that life is just like this on the holidays and we have the kids here hanging out and it is just our right. The fact is that it is not and it is a huge blessing on this or any other holiday. Who would have ever thought I would take so much pleasure in the company of my children. A blessed life indeed. Now there is nothing else to do but sit around and watch foot ball and wait for this evenings feast.

Happy Thanksgiving from The St. Louis Diner Review!

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Erata, My Head Wound, Hash Browns, Football, Work etc...

Sooooo a lazy Sunday of a little church, a little football, a lot of food. Not a bad day. Looking forward to a pizza party tonight with some crappy charity pizza. Seriously, why does charity pizza that they get together and make have to suck so much? I don't know either.

Watching the Rams play an excellent but what looks to be futile game against the hated New Orleans Saints. They are not really hated. I like Drew Breese and I am impressed that Reggie Bush looks to have gotten his head out of the hookah and it is something watching him accelerate. The Mizzou Tigers won yesterday convincingly breaking a hex that K-State had on them for 5 years. If they can win another they are bowl bound I would think but winning out would do it for them and it is conceivable that they might do so. There are 5 teams rolling on unbeaten right noiw with Alabama, Florida, Texas, Cincinnati, Boise State and.... wait for it....wait for it.... THE TEXAS CHRISTIAN HORN FROGS. TCU, terror of the Mountain West have been dismantling opponents all year. It is hard to argue that they are as good as Texas, Alabama or Florida but I will. The Frogs beat Virginia and Clemson early, had a quality win against a good Air Force team and dismantled BYU 38-7. Absent a stumble they will go undefeated. Cincy has Illinois and Pittburgh which are possible losses, But Boise State should also win out. This is wear the BCS sucks it but it would appear that TCU and Boise might get in BCS bowls. The SEC will force the Gators to play The Crimson Tide so someone will have a loss and Texas is likely to roll but could still lose a game. We will see how it shakes out.

My head wound seems to be healing with the excellent stitches that Dr. Hurst put in. I am looking forward to wearing a big stupid bandage on my head all week and being an even larger objet of derision (it could happen). The Doctor yelled at me for quite some time about keeping it covered and not letting the stitches dry out....yuck. My dogs have enjoyed the oozing of the wound (for any of you who remember "Horrible Head Wound Harry" from the old Saturday Night Live skit. Probably not the best way to keep the wound moist.











My intense battle with depression have been well documented, clinically studied and yet remain untreated. More often then not recently these bouts with the morose are brought on by my inability to cook hash browns for my own taste at my home. I have failed well over 20 times...maybe 30 over the past 5 years. Totally a disaster every time. I am reasonably certain (and I do not mean to offend) that I am much more likely to find a cure for cancer or solve global warming or... figure out how to get my kids not to text other people when talking to me, then make decent hash browns at home. As you will recall I have...issues, possibly religious issues regarding hash browns. I LIKE THEM SHREDDED! I like to have them in a rough patty shape and be crispy on both sides. Currently only two places in town have hash browns that I find pleasing. Spencers Grill in Kirkwood (thin, greasy, delicious) and Pomme in Clayton (classic rough cut steak house hash browns). Sadly I have been unable to replicate them at home. With the whole family (and the Kukla's) coming over for PORKFEST on Thanksgiving morning (including the venerable Pat Kukla of the Quad Cities) there is going to be a lot pressure to produce quality hash browns. Today I bought some red boiling potatoes. I boiled them. I let the cool to room temperature. I shredded them, I soaked them in a little salt water. I drained them. I heated a beautiful cast iron skillet to medium. I coated it with a little PAM spray on. I dropped them in. They sizzled. They sucked. I ended with a brownish, black...goop. Thus...further depression and despondance. It is hard to type with this gun in my mouth. Pray for me.

Tomorrow I have to go back to work. Very sad. And they say winter is coming back. Over the weekend the area seemed to be flooded with birds and I saw 7 different flights of geese heading south. They know. The party is over and it is time to start the long hard slog through St. Louis winter. The thought of those hours working downtown and staring out at the gray St. Louis skyline...chilling.

Thursday, November 12, 2009

Cutting Heads

This is NOTHING like my cut...but how cool is this?











Sooooo..... “The MOHS Surgery.... does anyone really care? I am not sure that I do. My wife accompanied me to the doctors office/surgery center. The process went exactly as promised. I showed up at 7:45 and by 8:15 they had a small chunk of my precious forehead out. Now I am sitting in the waiting room waiting for them to examine “the margins” before they go back in and cut some more away. Evidiently thse nasty little basal cells have tendrils or “legs” and so as to be least invasive as possible they follow these legs and excevate them rather then cutting the whole chunk of your head out. I guess it it is only head in my case since my basal cell is in the middle of my lower forehead. I say “lower” forehead because any of you who know me know that I have a vast expanse of forehead. People have often analogized my forehead as approximating that of a Beluga whale. The Bleuga is not a particularly graceful looking whale. Not to belabor the point but billboard companies have shown more then a casual interest in my head for advertising space..... so... lower fore head.

When they first took me in there they had to shove a couple of needles in my forehead as local anesthetic. It hurt. I never understand why they have to give you a shot in order to limit your pain. The shots seem painful... especially when they shove the needles into your head. The numb it pretty good and the funny nurse tells me they give me a “numb skull”. Ahahahhaahahaha. The doctor comes in and they put something over my eyes and then I feel pressure as she carves on me quickly and efficiently. The real reason they put something over your eyes is because they do MOHS surgery with a samurai sword. If you have ever seen Uma Thurman in “Kill Bill” you have some idea of what I am talking about. They cover your eyes because, according to my doctor, “bad shit happens when you flinch”. I believe her.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mohs_surgery

I am a solid 20 years younger then any one else in the waiting room. They come back and tell me that I am “clear”. In MOHS parlance that means that they got it all and do not need to cut on me anymore. Clearly it is a relief because that means my basal cell didn’t have and “legs” or tendrils digging deep into my huge...huge skull. Still, I cannot help feeling cheated that didn’t have a better, more dangerous cancer or surgery. It is a disappointment, and a relief until they take me back in to sew me up. That means I have to get another bunch of shots in head to numb my head. The shots suck even worse the second time. She puts about a millionstitched into me head and explains she is going to do the stitches on one of the many “frown lines” that cover my head like waves of sand in the sahara.

I called my mom. She picked me up and took me home. Lets not discuss the fact that I am 48 and my mommy is still picking me up and taking me home. At least lets not talk about it now.

Monday, November 9, 2009

In Praise Of Breakfast, Diners, and My Son

It strikes me that once again I need to rally for the cause of breakfast. I have always thought it was the most important meal of the day but according to one James Carmody it is “the least important meal of the day”. All of the evidence is strongly in my favor.

http://www.amerymedicalcenter.org/amery2.nsf/View/breakfast

So the research and the facts back me up but I have noticed in all me reading that no one really envisions the type of breakfast I enjoy which is sausage, toast, iced tea, hash browns... oh yes, hash browns. Sometimes some sausage gravy. Sometimes a lot of sausage gravy. Sometimes some bacon, in addition to the sausage... on the side. Tiemann tells me it is a death wish but I like to think of it as a death crusade. That seems more noble.

There was a sweet article this last month by Pat Eby in Sauce Magazine.

http://www.saucemagazine.com/section/19

It is excellent and instead of focusing on the diet aspects she compares and contrasts the diner with the ubiquitous and frankly hated “coffe house”. Sure if you need a scone and a skinny lahte I guess it is OK, especially if you need Internet access. But if you are looking for a little solitude and some time with the depressing little rag that has become The St. Louis Post Dispatch you need a diner. She mentions something I had never noticed about that fabulous picture... “no entrance, no exit, no food on the counter”. Perfect. Give that article a read.

St. Louis really does not have any of the classic rail car diners that the east coast is blessed with. They are aging and decrepit but authentic never the less. The St. Louis classic diners at this point are The Eat Rite on Chouteau and the original Courtesy on Kingshighway. They are great. Classic even but I sometime would like one of my rich friends to have a classic rail car diner moved here. Is that too much to ask?

I guess what I am trying to say is... do the right thing. Eat breakfast and even more importantly, get out and eat breakfast locally. Do it for me.

*******

I had a nice weekend this last weekend. I remembered when my wife after much soul searching my wife and I purchased a nice new iPod for our then much troubled son. He took the iPod to camp (against our admonitions) and then did not leave the iPod in his room (as I had begged) and eventually waded into Lake Michigan with the 300 dollar toy in his pocket. It did not end well for the sad little iPod. Fortunately our children grow older, mature, we buy them different toys which they are now old enough to handle... or not.

http://mangosquash.tumblr.com/post/237230297/all-for-the-sake-of-music-so-i-was-at-duffys-on

Happy Monday Kids.

Sunday, November 8, 2009

The REAL Tea Party

Last night I went to a place called "Lil' Mickey's" for Bar B Q. We didn't have any other place to go and thought it might be an adventure. The place was talked about a while ago in the Post when they were rating the areas best Bar b Q and it was suggested that this was the best Memphis style Bar B Q in town. It was out in St. Peters on mexico Road. That is a long way from Webster (37 Minutes according to Google Maps) and we headed out there when it was already dark. I am always amazed when I head out to St. Charles. Evidently quite a few people live out there. I had no idea. When we got there we found that Lil' Mickeys only is a carry out place. They have two small tables with stools but that is it. Thinking quickly we decided... to order carryout. We took it home and the Bar B Q was excellent. It might have been worth the drive but the bottom line was I ate a lot of Bar B Q.

To quote the great Reverend William Yonker "I told you that, so I can tell you THIS!"

It gave me nightmares. Bad nightmares. First of all they came in the form of a vicious squirrel attacking me... and then I was locked in a bank and there were some very violent people breaking in and the police would not come...but finally... the scariest dream of all came. I wish I had Daniel with me as I sit here to inturpret the dreams http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Book_of_Daniel But the third one was the scary one. Those spicy ribs took me to Louis Carroll's "Alice In Wonderland" where I was at the tea party. I always found that tea party upsetting. The March Hare was such a compelling character... he was being played by Sean Hannity, Alice was played by Ann Coulter and the he was....Rush Limbaugh as The Mad Hatter. They were all sitting around and not drinking tea but dumping it into a lake, a river, a pond, a puddle or ANY water that was available to meet their metaphor analogizing themselves to early patriots risking their lives battling tyranny. Of course none of these people or even their fantasy characters had never risked a finger, a limb or a dollar for their cherished Democracy and although trumpeting the viirtues of free speech felt compelled to shout down all competing voices. I was cast in the position of the Dormouse and like anyone who disagrees was not allowed to speak. Alice appeared to be drunk and kept saying "dittos Rush". I spoke out of turn to opine that the original tea party participants were of course ruled by a despotic, unelected Monarch across an ocean while we had the virtue of election of politicians who were doing pretty much just what they said, and everyone new they would do. Couler kicked me in the nuts and called me a faggy little mouse.

All three of them were carrying guns. Limbaugh had a Glock, Hannity a vintage Colt 44 and Coulter of course had an AK-47... slung low. It went with her heels. Hannity was nattering on about the blood of the tree of Liberty needing to be watered by the blood of "Patriots". There was that word again. What of course they are implying with their guns at public meetings is that if called upon they will incite their minions to water the tree with the blood of anyone who dares to disagree.

I heard some screeching when a maniacal Glen Beck came running shouting OFF WITH THEIR HEADS! Fortunately at that point some of the pork had worked it's way through my colon and created an emergent need to wake up and take a rather large dump. It was a huge relief to realize it was only a dream but it did seem a little to weird and a little too true. The craziness according to these folks is in the White House. I cannot always argue but the fact that anyone is seriously listening to these folks is troubling indeed.

We need some sanity. We are not finding it on cable news. Maybe we can start finding it in the entrails of birds or from scattering chicken bones but we are not going to see anything of meaning from these folks other then screeds of hate.

"Off with their heads!" Indeed. No more Lil' Mickey's for me. But if you want to get some of their carry outs...
http://www.lilmickeysbbq.com/index2.html

Saturday, November 7, 2009

CD REVIEW: THE MOUNTAIN GOATS: THE LIFE OF THE WORLD TO COME

Readers of these tepid pages who pay attention to my musical proclivities and total, atonal, lack of taste will have take prior note of my total obsession and drooling praise for John Darnielle and his band The Mountain Goats. His CD "Heretic Pride" was my runner up best of the year for 2008.

If I have not mentioned it before (but I think I have) I am a loather of "Christian Rock". The songs tend to a monotonous sameness that does not resonate in my secular world or frankly with my questioning and often confused "faith". I do love it though when pop stars explore some of their own faith issues for us. Darnielle carries an excellent recall of scripture with a secular Christian questioning and sometimes more then a little disdain for people who are so confident of their faith.

In this context I was REALLY excited to hear that the Mountain Goats new release would feature 12 songs with Bible verses as titles. Darnielle who has explored Christian themes before is cryptic about the CD's motivation and in Darnielle’s own words, “twelve hard lessons the Bible taught me, kind of.” Not that he’s suddenly had a conversion experience (Darnielle is still as religious as he ever was; that is, somewhat so, but unconventionally). The CD took a while to grab me but has now become one of those obsessive things that I listen to over and over agin and each time I pick another line that haunts or intrigues or just makes me think. Since it is in the context of faith and Bible verses it seems doubly deep and grave to me... which is really just silly but the fact is.... and you heard it here first.... this is some good shit. I have printed out each verse below not for anyone's benefit but my own as this might make for a somewhat amusing (to me) Bible study some time

Songs:

1 Samuel 15:23: King James Bible
For rebellion is as the sin of witchcraft, and stubbornness is as iniquity and idolatry. Because thou hast rejected the word of the LORD, he hath also rejected thee from being king.

Psalms 40:2 He brought me up also out of an horrible pit, out of the miry clay, and set my feet on a rock, and established my goings.

Genesis 3:23 23Therefore the LORD God sent him forth from the garden of Eden, to till the ground from whence he was taken.

Philippians 3:20-21 20For our conversation is in heaven; from whence also we look for the Saviour, the Lord Jesus Christ:
21Who shall change our vile body, that it may be fashioned like unto his glorious body, according to the working whereby he is able even to subdue all things unto himself.

Hebrews 11:40 God having provided some better thing for us, that they without us should not be made perfect.

Genesis 30:3 And she said, Behold my maid Bilhah, go in unto her; and she shall bear upon my knees, that I may also have children by her.

Romans 10:99That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved.

1 John 4:16 6And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him.

Matthew 25:21 21"His master replied, 'Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master's happiness!'

Deuteronomy 2:10 The Emims dwelled therein in times past, a people great, and many, and tall, as the Anakims;

Isaiah 45:23 23 By myself I have sworn,
my mouth has uttered in all integrity
a word that will not be revoked:
Before me every knee will bow;
by me every tongue will swear.


Ezekiel 7 And The Permanent Efficacy Of Grace (I picked the last verse...very heavy, all of Chapter 7)27 The king will mourn, the prince will be clothed with despair, and the hands of the people of the land will tremble. I will deal with them according to their conduct, and by their own standards I will judge them. Then they will know that I am the LORD."

This is an eclectic list of scripture borrowing heavily from old and new testament. Right now 1 John 4:16 is my favorite. The song is just beautiful, and mournful and so sad. The chorus comes through with this and I do not know what it has to do with that great Bible verse but:

"and someone leads the beast in on it's chain... and I know your thinking of me cause it's just about to rain".

Who thinks of words like that. Some of the themes become kind of monotonous. Getting your perfect body back..."I won't give up, someday I'll be free. I am not this body, that imprisons me". On the iTunes version he also includes Enoch 18:14 which I was not familiar with but was evidently pat of the dead sea scrolls. Apparently enoch was taken to heaven by God and did not see death. At least that what it says in Genesis. I did not know that.

Indeed.

Psalm 40:2 is the most anguished and reminds me most of last years "Heretic Pride". Be certain that the imagery he provides in the songs is troubling in most cases from this songs dark road trip through Missouri and Kansas to another trip across the country to sit at the deathbed of a cancer patient. Whether a lover or friend we don't know but... dark. And contemplative. And sometimes for those of us who believe but view what our Christian leaders tell us with a somewhat jaundiced eye... thinking is good... and the music is good with excellent percussion by John Wurster and occasionally my favorite mournful cello by Erik Vierlander.

Go give this one a listen. Listen 3 times.

Here are some pics from their Chicago show at the Metro from our intrepid reporter Jon Becker:

http://mangosquash.tumblr.com/post/234843531/the-mountain-goats-with-opener-final-fantasy-live

8 1/2 Slingers on the 10 scale.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

The Rakers Lament

Fall is coming and going in a heartbeat and I am finding that once again I am thinking big, deep thoughts as I spend hours raking leaves. Very deep thoughts.

Sometimes a neighbors leaves blow onto my lawn.
Sometimes my leaves blow on to a neighbors lawn.
No big deal.


From the time spent raking I have contemplative time. Time to think on my life. Time to think about other people’s lives. Think about my marriage. Think anout my kids. Think.

Leaves fall every year.
They are God’s garbage.


Really I do not think about shit. I think about how much I hate raking. Last year when my kids (who were always useless rakers anyway) went away, or at least the boys went away I discovered something magical. I have a small patch of woods behind my house. Really just a bunch of over grown weeds with a few trees but hard to walk through and they provide a nice illusion of privacy in the summer. I also have a tarp back from 15 years ago when I thought it made sense to atach stuff to the top of the mini van and drive to Michigan (wrong). The magical thing was that instead of spending 5 bucks a bag for leaf bags and then stooping, stuffing and compacting leafs in these awful little bags that I could rake leaves onto the tarp, drag them back into the trees and dump them. I dumped so many last year that they were wase high and I went back there this fall with trepidation that there would be no room. But God had cleaned them up. There is something about leaf raking and knowing that I will wake up tomorrow and my lawn will be covered and there will be no evidence of my labor. Something Calvinistic. Something that speaks to the fleeting nature of all earthly achievement. Good Biblical stuff.

Insipidly Bad Leaf Poem With Worse Music: http://www.countrywhispers.com/autumnl/

So this year I am raking leaves again onto the tarp. Wet leaves because we had the rainiest October ever. The front yard got done yesterday. The Back today afyter the Ram’s game (and they are beating the horridly bad Detorit Lions). I wonder why one of America’s lions of poetry should write this bad of a poem that including the comparison of the leaf to being old.I guess it is just the typical fear of death that forces us to wax maudlin regarding the mundane.

And if I should live to be

The last leaf upon the tree

In the spring,
Let them smile,
as I do now,

At the old forsaken bough 
Where I cling.

The Last Leaf by Oliver Wendell Holmes


Seriously? I have to lean to Reagan on this one: "Trees cause more pollution than automobiles do." -- Ronald Reagan, 1981 But wait, there is more from The Gipper: "A tree is a tree. How many more do you have to look at?" -- Ronald Reagan, 1966, opposing expansion of Redwood National Park as governor of California. I guess this is why Rush Limbaugh and Glenn Beck revere him as a gog (little g).

Thinking big thoughts like... "why is God angry with me?"

Fungus...Aong Us

Skin Cancer!
FUNGUS!










One of the many joys of being old, pale, bald and my fathers son is a genetic weakness for skin related cancers, fungises, maladies, parasites and other grotesqe things which in Biblical times would have relegated me to a colony somewhere away from people. Clearly there is a certain portion of the public which would applaud me taken and removed generally from society but this would have nothing to do with my skin condition.

In everything, in every facet of my life, every weakness, vice, failure or unhappiness, no matter how small or petty, I blame my father. It is such a simple catch all. By the time when he was my age and teaching Sunday School he had a whole raft of little Lutheran kids thinking he might or might not be the devil, because they had already carved out two chunks of his head with skin cancer problems. He is also hair impaired and evidently as a child my father was forced by my grandmother to play outside all the time (babrbaric). My father by the way might or might not be the devil but the point was that he told the children that the equidistant scars on his forehead were where they had removed his horns. That is my dad.

My mother tried to keep me out of the sun and being a rather effeminate kid with a total lack of motor skills it was not too hard. In high school and college I took to wearing bandanas and ball caps since the hair started to thin at about 18. Anyway... I have been through a number of skin doctors but have finally found one to stay with. Of the several others a few stand out in blessed memory. One who was freezing half a dozen things on my body every time I showed up and another who never got that close. Everytime I tried to show him something on my skin he would move away and tell me “it is a fungus, we all have them all over our bodies”, like he was sharing some mystical incantation. He was not. My wife has since excused he backing away from my disease as “nearsightedness”. I prefer to think of him as a quack. The other guy burnt off or froze every anomoly which was comforting in that he hurt me, so he showed me that he cared.

Now I have a gal who is supposed to be awesome. She only sees patients once a month. She is with Barnes, a "teaching" hospital so she send an intern in to talk to me, look me over and make initial recommendations. I have to strip. I have to turn slowly. I have to expose my deteriorating, flabby, hairy, old man body to this doctor. Then the boss comes in, looks at her notes and we start all over again. It is a fairly complete process. They gave me some ointments and creams for various maladies and then shaved something off my head which she said "might be a basal cell". It was like it was no big deal, very slow moving cancer. I left feeling like I had been well looked over and responsible about my bad genetics. A few days later she called me and said it is Basal Cell. I said "no big deal" and then she did her best to tell me it was serious and referred me to the surgeon. I called the surgeon immediately and she was so concerned that she set an appointment to consult with me.... a month from then.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Basal_cell_carcinoma

So this week I go see the cutter. For your knowledge and care I have posted photos of a few of the things I have cut off my head and thrown into the yard. The message here is simple... wear a hat.