Diner Review Mac and Cheese

“I deny a problem with my attitude,
Cause I will work for food”
-Dramarama / Work For Food


Dramarama was a classic 90’s band and the album “Hi-Fi Sci-Fi” is worth tracking down even though no longer in current issue. On a more important and perhaps slightly more relevant note, I have a thing for comfort food. Hash Browns, Meat Loaf, Chicken Fried Steak, Hash Browns, Iced Tea, Bacon, Spaghetti, Tater Tots, Hamburgers, Hash Browns, Tamales, Roast Beef with brown gravy... Hash Browns... you know. Anyway, along with my recent failures in breaking bread I have recently been embarking on an effort to develop a signature Macaroni and Cheese. My reasons for doing so are many but may have a lot to do with career dissatisfaction, the dramatic and depressing decline of the economy, global warming and the lack strong left handed relief in the 2009 St. Louis Cardinals. All of that having been said I give you my Macaroni recipe with love and respect.

INGREDIENTS:

1/2 pound of bacon
1/4 lb. gouda
1/4 Black Diamond Sharp Cheddar
2 Eggs
4 cloves of garlic
One large white onion
I Tablespoon Vegetable oil
16 oz package of macaroni
9 tablespoons butter
8-oz velveeta
1 1/2 cups half and half
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper

Directions:

1. Cook bacon until crisp.
2. Eat two strips after cooking because bacon is good for the soul. Put bacon in food processor with onion and garlic. Make it into a puree depending on whether anyone in your family has any onion or texture issues. You can make it into a paste but it is strictly a matter of how chunky you want it
3. Bring a large pot of lightly salted water to a boil. Add pasta and cook for 8 to 10 minutes or until al dente; drain well and return to cooking pot. I believe all macaroni pasta is the same.
4. In a small saucepan over medium heat, melt 8 tablespoons butter; stir into the macaroni.
5. In a large bowl, combine the gouda cheese and Black Diamond Cheddar cheeses, bacon, onion, garlic mixture and mix well.

6. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).

7. Add the half and half, 1 1/2 cups of cheese mixture, cubed processed cheese food, and eggs to macaroni; mix together and season with salt and pepper. Transfer to a lightly greased 15” black cast iron skillet. If you do not have a large, black cast iron skillet... ask yourself why not. Admonish yourself for living an empty, meaningless and directional life and then get off your ass and go buy one... NOW!

8. Sprinkle with the remaining 1/2 cup of cheese mixture and 1 tablespoon of butter which you will also need to melt..

9. Take a water class and fill it to about two inches with Panko Bread Crumbs. It is important to use Panko. Add a 1/2 teaspoon of paprika and three table spoons of shaved parmesan (Kraft is fine but you can get as fancy as you want with it).
Cover top with panko bread-crumbs and some parmesan the splash of paprika. This is the best part.

10. Bake in preheated oven for 35 minutes or until hot and bubbling around the edges; serve.

11. Stick large spoon in the middle of it and let it cool for about 5 minutes prior to serving.

12. Prepare for macaroni and cheese accolades.

This got me hi props from people charitably inclined towards me (family member including my mother). The only way I might improve it after this was to just puree the garlic and onion and then roughly crumble the bacon and put it on top with the bread crumbs, panko and paprika and parmesan. This is what I recommend.

Eat well. Comfort food is excellent in a declining economy. We ate it with bar-b-q chicken, garlic bread and a salad. Have your daughter do the chicken.