Barry Bonds. OK...he has been taking steroids for years and has bulked up not just his chest, arms and legs but...his neck and forhead. His naturally poor disposition has become almost homicidal over the last few years and even as he attains the record he is already become a sad freak whose record for right or wrong will be asterisked and disdained forever. It is very sad but still troubling because we don’t know what to do. Everyone knows that he ingested steroids in some form and bulked up unaturally. It is somewhat less clear to me whether or not it was “illegal” or even against the rules when he started but there is no question that it is now. One question though. Why is it so important that athletes do not artificially enhance themselves to increase performance? Why don’t we mind when an actress gets breast implants or liposuction, tummy tuck, hair implants...what is the difference? What indeed?So what do we do? We let the guy get the record and wait till the end of the season and then the Commissioner offers him a chance to retire. If he does not he gets banned in the best interests of baseball. Along with that he announces serious drug testing and a zero tolerance policy which will cost us over time some of our best athletes. Teams and fans will be traumatized by the results but over time we will heal and so will the sport. As a public the best thing we could do would be to not talk about it and leave it alone.
The Tour de France. Jeeez! What happened here. We thought that with the Floyd Landis thing we had cleaned this thing up and were going to have a clean tour with clean results. What a nightmare... what a clown show. I am sure a lot of these guys are clean but once again we have no choice but to think that anyone who is succeeding is doping their blood, elevating testosterone or perhaps spending too much time with Vietmamese hookers. All can have the same result and all are equally frowned upon. This ended up in a nice battle on the last days of the tour since Rasmussen and Viokurov and well, so many others were then out. But what about them? I understand so little about drug testing but it seems like it is inexact science at best. Is it important that these guys dope? Is it demeaning that many of us assume that Lance was doping in some way? I don’t know. What do you do for the Tour? Same thing. Kick the bad guys out, strengthen your testing regime and for God sakes stop talking about it.
Tim Donaghy? NBA ref. Fixing games? Now this... this is a real nightmare. There was the Black Sox scandal. In 1994 there was that Northwester point shaving thing and the great City College of New York point shaving scandal but those all involved players. Boxers have taken falls but the dodginess of boxing is well known. But...but...but....we have always counted on the underpaid, very fallable refs to be on the up and up and if they werent it was just because they had lousy personalities, wanted to screw Bobby Knight or were just really and truly legally blind. The idea that one of the zebras was dealing for his own account really does undermine the game. Perhaps it is a wakeup call for everyone that that when you have a group of guys who everyone is counting on to perform, and so many dollars and so many personal and professional lives rely on the outcome that perhaps these guys should get some kind of compensation. Perhaps then we could think about doing the same for teachers.
That leaves us with Micheal Vick. Other then raping and killing someone’s child is there anything else he could of done to ruin his career quicker? No...there isn’t. We have become very accepting of DWI’s, drug arrests, gunplay in clubs, manslaughter related to the above, beaten girlfriends... the list goes on and on. I mean, after all, their athletes right. They get a pass. But not for this. I know, I know, innocent until proven guilty but... this guy is toast. This is an easy call as we can see because it has already been done. Pull his endoresments, ban him from participating in anything while he defends himself and let the law do what it will. He will not do any hard time but seriously...if I were him I would be seriously worried about someone shooting me. Other then his friends and family.... no one would mourn. Very sad. he always seemed like a nice guy.So...the Diner reviewer believes that...as much as he loves sports... that we have truly, madly and deeply gone off the deep end in regard to athletics. We rely on these guys to distract us from the droll, hum drum and day to day. We live vicariously through them and give them monstrous salaries, possies, sex, drugs, women, no accountability and then we all act shocked when they do not behave like Wally Cleaver. Seriously, where the hell do we get off. these guys are nothing without our dollars and our unending tolerance and adoration. Perhaps it is time to reconsider where we find out heroes and show a little depth... or we can just go to the game, pay 20 bucks to park, 100 bucks for a ticket, 80 more for a jersey with their name on it, 6 bucks for a beer and 4 more for a hotdog so that this fabulous system can just keep on keeping on. I could be wrong.
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