Diner Review VI: Uncle Wimpy's Diner

Uncle Wimpy’s Diner
7901 S. Broadway. South...way south Broadway!
Hours Mon-Fri 6-3, Saturday and Sunday 7-3



Uncle Wimpy’s is of course named after J. Wellington Wimpy, or just Wimpy, who was one of the characters in the long-running comic strip, Thimble Theater, and in the Popeye cartoons based upon the strip.They do not do his name justice for breakfast (primary diner meal) but perhaps we will go back to try lunch. The South Broadway portion of the St. Louis Diner Review tour has been interesting. That area of Broadway a few miles south of the brewery running straight along the river in between Highwat 55 and the river. It is an awful area in a lot of ways but there is a beauty to it. A lot of old buildings and many parts of it are only 20 yards or so from the river. The people who are regulars down there are working people...hard people and probably good people...but this diner will never know because...I come...I eat...I leave.

Uncle Wimpy’s has no windows. It is a great looking place inside with a sweet counter and a bunch of tables...four tops and two tops. Once again almost packed even at 6:45 on a Saturday morning. At every quality diner on Saturday morning there is one table of 4-6 men sitting and drinking coffee, normally one paper spread between them...loudly discussing the news...world politics, local politics, last nights drunk, the waitresses breasts, a shitty food and how the new guy can’t cook...it goes on and on and it is annoying and beautiful. The customers were the best thing about the place and it is worth a trip to just to sit with these people and listen...even over bad food.

Wimpy’s however was a pretty crappy place. My ice tea had been run through the coffee filter. When I brought it to the waitresses attention see seemed perplexed as to what to do. She finally...at my suggestion brought me a water. There were 4 waitresses “working” but they each spent long periods sitting at their own table and doing...nothing. Still it was a place with a lot of character. The sausage was lightly spiced...the toast was fine but the potatoes were the dreaded “American fries” and although I have NOTHING against America my feelings about these rouch cut potatoes is well documented.
The menu was befitting a crappy place. It was a white sheet with bad typing on as is pictured above. It is a tacky menu...a menu not to be left unmocked. A cheap menu wrapped in ill fitting cellophane. To be fair it is in an ill fitting cellophane sleeve. Still it has a certain tacky charm.

There are so many quality places to get breakfast. So much ambience. Places with good food, good service and quality people or even better characters but Wimpy’s fails on almost...well not almost...Wimpy’s fails on EVERY level. The food was average to bad, the service average to bad. The place as I said looks good. it is the right size, there is none of the annoying natural light to cut through the haze of cigarette smoke, it has lots of memorabilia on the wall...it could be a a VERY good place. But instead it is shitty. Three Slingers on a Ten scale. Next time we will go for lunch and buy a hamburger and I will see if I can get someone else to buy. I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today". Indeed. Words to live by.

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An old book has been brought to my attention and as I sit here watching “Braveheart” again it occurs to me that I probably need to read his novel “Ble Highways”. Moon has allegedly expounded on a theory i am going to have to try which judges diners based on a “calendar” system which relies on the supposition that the more calendars that a place has hanging on the wall, the better a diner it is. In my recent trip to michigan I attempted to gather some documentation and to quantify this seemingly bizarre rating but in my trips to three quality establishments, the Portage Lake Diner, Hubbels Bait Shop and Diner and Captain Jacks. Sadly enough none of these establishments had more then one calendar hanging on the wall. I am going to start noting in the future the calendar count and where the calendar came from. The theory seems to be that a good diner will post any calendar that is handed to it and is a good sign of loyal local trade. So be aware...and beware. the Diner Reviewer has spoken.