Soooo… life is busy, awkward and exhausting but most of the time it is because choices I make. Loving live music has always been a thing but when your a fan of a band, and your family is a fan, and your oldest son is a fan especially of the same band, you do stupid things. Such was the case last weekend when we went on a family outing to Kansas City to see The Mountain Goats. The tortured musings of John Darnielle frighteningly seem to resonate with my entire family and while I am sure we should all be concerned about loving a guy who writes funny, happy songs like “No Children” wherein he sings:
I hope it stays dark forever
I hope the worst isn't over
And I hope you blink before I do
And I hope I never get sober
And I hope when you think of me years down the line
You can't find one good thing to say
And I'd hope that if I found the strength to walk out
You'd stay the hell out of my way
I am drowning, there is no sign of land
You are coming down with me, hand in unlovable hand
And I hope you die
I hope we both die
What a crazy, kicky, lighthearted kid he is. The song above, as an aside inspired this great YouTube video for what looks like a high school talent contest:
Heartbreaking. Awesome. Troubling. Beckers. What are you going to do? So we traversed to KC. Had lunch with my niece and her husband at a place called Char Bar in Westport. I highly recommend. Awesome BBQ ish high end menu with great cocktails for brunch lunch or dinner. I had a duck gumbo which was...perfect.
The goats were playing at The Madrid. The Madrid is like any of our old theaters in St. Louis. More than anything it reminded me of the old AmericanTheater which was down of Kingshighway. It is a decent venue and we lines up right before doors opened at 7. My wife and I, my daughter Laura, My son Jon and his wife, my son Pat and his husband Kyle. The only person missing on the scene was my future son in law Jon but other than that we were there in force. The great thing about a Goats show is that it is not a pretty crowd. Lot’s of died hair, tattoos, some unhappy kids and college students but generally a crowd of 30 somethings and a more unpretentious lot would be hard to find. We scrambled in with about 80 people in front of us and were able to secure bar stools and tables in the balcony. It is reasonably important for family outings to secure seating.
The opener was a band called “Oh Pep” from Australia and I, on night one dismissed them as pleasant. The stars of the band we females and the lead vocalist could really belt it out and the other woman played a mandolin and they were kind of charming and angry and fun, but I was in the balcony, drinking and dismissive. On night 2 I determined I was wrong. To get a little feel for them here is a little song they performed at KDHX:
They are definitely worth listening to and “I know what I want and its not what I need…”. Who can argue?
Then shortly after 9:00 came the Goats coming on to some lovable cheese from the 70’s as background music and tore into “Blood Capsules”. The entire set list was as follows:
And the casually-dressed bill collectors
Started casually dropping on by
And the residuals, but there weren't any more residuals
At least several months behind
On the payments to certain individuals
Sleep like dead men, wake up like dead men
And when the sun comes, try not to hate the light
Someday we'll try to walk upright
Across a different bridge today
Over the river and down Broadway
Feels so good to have you here
Some of you will be dead next year
I see your destinies above you
Like angels who don't love you
Let them kiss you and hold you tight
As long as the money's right
I felt free and I felt lonely and I felt scared
And I began to talk to myself almost immediately
Not being used to being the only person there
I've been loving you so long
And now that I got the chance
I see you need to dance on your own
So I'll wait another day
Maybe another year
I'm gonna be right here, oh
Stares blankly at the intersection
Watching for the guy who's got the angel dust
Crystal clear connection
Days like dominos
All in a line
We cheer for the home team every time
Lakeside View, Lakeside View
Lakeside View for my whole crew
I'm gonna stab you in the eye with a foreign object
Ba, ba da da, ba ba ba da, foreign object
Ba, ba da da, ba ba ba da, foreign object
Ba, ba da da, ba ba ba da, foreign object
On which our survival depends
People say friends don't destroy one another
What do they know about friends?
Thunderclouds forming, cream white moon
Everything's going to be okay soon
Maybe tomorrow
Maybe the next day
Encore:
Lay down on the street my eyes toward the sun your star next to my face
I put the pedal to the floor
Headed north on Mills Avenue
And listened to the engine roar
My broken house behind me and good things ahead
A girl named Cathy wants a little of my time
Six cylinders underneath the hood crashing and kicking
Ahh, listen to the engine whine
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I played video games in a drunken haze
I was 17 years young
Hurt my knuckles punching the machines
The taste of scotch rich on my tongue
And then Cathy showed up and we hung out
Trading swigs from a bottle, all bitter and clean
Locking eyes, holding hands
Twin high maintenance machines
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I drove home in the California dusk
I could feel the alcohol inside of me hum
Pictured the look on my stepfather's face
Ready for the bad things to come
I down-shifted as I pulled into the driveway
The motor screaming out, stuck in second gear
The scene ends badly, as you might imagine
In a cavalcade of anger and fear
There will be feasting and dancing in Jerusalem next year
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
I am going to make it through this year
If it kills me
Just try to play through the pain.
Like a fighter who's been told its finally time for him to quit.
Show up in shining colors,
And then stand there and get hit.
I had looked at prior set lists and made a little composite of them on Spottify for the ride over and about 15 of the songs were repeating each night. The Mountain Goats have about 15 CD’s out and this was still supporting their Album “Beat The Champ” which was released in 2015. A collection of songs related to Darnielle’s passion for wrestling which I didn't really latch on to as awesome initially and now after hearing it live and taking in all the songs over time I can only describe as….brilliant. I know the word is over used but the guy is passionate. Extremely passionate and has lived the life as troubled child, drug addict, survivor, game player, author, husband, father… nice resume. It all comes to play in his songs and I cannot explain the beauty, the triumph, the anger… the praise of someone who triumphs over all that with the dread knowledge that he will still wake up as himself tomorrow.
I drank too much at the show. To be fair, I had been drinking all day but...tomorrow would be another day, and i would still wake up as me but for tonight, with my family, watching this man and his fabulous band bleed all over the stage for 90 minutes… I was triumphant.
***
Sooooo...Day 2. Day 2 required getting out of a hotel bed after too few hours of bad sleep. We went to Methodist Mega church...hungover, where our old Pastor runs the “praise” service and then went to lunch, hungover (maybe I was the only one hungover) and then my wife, daughter and daughter in law went home to St. Louis and Pat and Kyle went to their place in Overland Park and Jon and I headed for Columbia to see night 2 of Oh Pep and The Mountain Goats.
We went to Boulevard Brewing in KC where I did not drink! A lot of personal discipline here. We then headed east on 70 and having an allegiance to Camp Arcadia in northern Michigan where we have a place, we stopped when we saw this sign!
So we stopped. It was lovely. I am not a big fan of US Wine that does not grow in California or Oregon. This dint do a lot to change that but it was not bad and they also had beer and Jon had a flight and I sampled a couple of things. Bought a bottle of Port and also liked their Rose’ and I don't like Rose’s. It has a nice pastoral view of a lake...and highway 70 in the distance.
Then it was off to Columbia where we kicked around, had a little pizza and hit The Blue Note. The Blue Note is a great, old, broken down venue that has had a generation of great shows and new music. Unlike the night before there would be no seating so we arrived shortly after doors and marched right up to the stage, standing about three rows of people back from the stage and I didn't move for 3 hours.
OH Pep who seemed pleasant the night before rocked it. They were simply great from up close and I don't know whether they played better, or whether I was familiar with their set but it was a great opener. They rocked it and set the table for night 2 of the Goats.
A few different songs tonight.
If my prayer be not humble, make it so
In these last hours, if the spirit waits in check, help me let it go
And should my suffering double, let me never love you less
Let every knee be bent and every tongue confess
And I won't get better
But someday I'll be free
'Cause I am not this body
That imprisons me
People were mean to you
But I always thought you were cool
Clicking down the concrete hallways
With your spiked heels back in high school
And we will never be alone in this world
No matter what they say
We're going to be okay
We were safe inside
And our new son cried
"San Bernardino
Welcomes you!"
King Saul fell on his sword when it all went wrong
And Joseph's brothers sold him down the river for a song
And Sonny Liston rubbed some tiger balm into his glove
Some things you do for money
And some you do for love, love, love
Raskolnikov felt sick, but he couldn't say why
When he saw his face reflected in his victim's twinkling eye
Some things you'll do for money and some you'll do for fun
But the things you do for love
Are going to come back to you one by one
Love, love is going to lead you by the hand
Into a white and soundless place
Now we see things as in a mirror dimly
Then we shall see each other face to face
And way out in Seattle, young Kurt Cobain
Snuck out to the greenhouse, put a bullet in his brain
Snakes in the grass beneath our feet, rain in the clouds above
Some moments last forever
But some flare out with love, love, love
One of the things that makes the Goats is the band that he travels with. The core of it is the drummer John Wurster and bassist Peter Hughs but he has added over the last few years multi instrumentalist Matt Douglas who just… fills it out. Though I am always looking for the mournful cello from the album “Heretic Pride” the four of them… grounded by Wurster are just so very, VERY tight that it would be hard for Darnielle to be anything but brilliant.
This was just a life changing show but I have seen so many. Seeing a bad this close, there the band can literally spit on you if they are of a mind is like no other experience ans the adding of “Love, Love, Love” brought the house down. It is always different seeing a concert stone cold sober but being there with several hundred stranger/friends and watching a guy who has worked out his own life’s problems through verse for so many years was touching and moving and rocking. It always restores my faith and my joy when it comes together and for two nights in a row...God was smiling on me.
