The Egg: A Diner Review

It is a beautiful, limited menu.  I sampled the Carnitas Taco with the Covered Sweet Corn Bread with Fennel Pork Sausage Gravy.  As you know your diner reviewer does not normally favor the “fancy” breakfast but with The Yolkerie and now The Egg I might have to start speaking respectfully of these “chefs” and their “take” on breakfast.  I went on a Saturday morning and they don’t open until 9.  I went early and so took the time to head down to Soulard Market and do a little shopping and then swung back a little before 9 and they were open.

Here is the website: 

http://breakfastcamefirst.com

The place is located in the former location of...I cannot even remember the name and it might be the same owners but it was a taco and bbq place that didn’t particularly impress me.  It is one block southwest of Hodaks on Gravois so for most of us it needs to be a destination breakfast but I want to emphasize...strongly that it is worth it.

It was not too crowded and although it is small it is also wide open and there is a lot of table seating.  The Yolkerie kind of suffers in my mind for it’s lack of comfortable seating.  I took a table and they poured me water and got me some brewed tea and i ordered.  One of the minuses to places like this is that they attract a “foodie” crowd and, well, we hate those people.  It is fine to like good food but I had a guy at the bar and another guy (who apparently has weekend custody of his son) at a table and they conversed loudly for 30 minutes regarding the best this and that all over town.  Exhausting, but still not meal ruining.

My food came up after an amount of time I would call respectful and it was clear that this was extremely high quality at every level.  My taco had succulent carnitas as well as a perfect egg.  I also got some white toast and it was thick cut and fancy but did appear and taste fresh baked (kudos) and they served with real butter (double kudos). It was delicious, juicy and manageable either as a taco or you could knife and fork it and not miss anything.

So that was awesome but… the cornbread covered in sausage gravy was more like a metaphysical experience.  This gravy was stuffed with sausage and flavored by fennel and was dumped in a bowl over a square of some of the sweetest and best cornbread I have ever put in my mouth.  The savory sausage and gravy over that perfect corn bread was vaguely sexual.  Perhaps not even vaguely.  It was...awesome.  More than awesome.  I will go back tomorrow to start my year off right.

 I have sent other people there and have heard very good things about the Corn Bread Benedict and the breakfast Sopes.  I will get to those myself sooner or later but in the meantime I am calling this early as the best breakfast for 2017 and I am calling it on January 2, 2017.  Go yourself, and tell me that I am wrong.  I dare you.

The Peacock: Hipster Heaven...with Bacon!

Sooooo….The Peacock!

it is so rare for me to get to go review a NEW Diner in St. Louis.  Our breakfast scene is at best...sleepy and at worst...boring and unchanging.  Even when new places open like the new Courtesy on Laclede Station, it is just expansion of a proven formula.  So when I read about the Peacock I was elated. Although when I initially posted this review (and in my head) I kept calling the place the Flamingo (dementia) I believe I have it straight now.

Opened by the inimitable Joe Edwards in The Loop!  It is on first floor of a new building that I think is Wash U Student housing.  It is brand spanking new and it is open 24 hours a day which is pretty unusual, especially in that neighborhood.  I very admire Edwards.  I might look askance at his trolley but his unflinching efforts to make U-City a destination have really played out awesomely and along with the Pageant he is a civic treasure for the work he has done and he tends to do it all in a first class way.

Last week I could not sleep due to some issues related to my work and got up at 5:30 and headed over to the Loop.  I always like going there, just to drive up and down and with Mission Tacos and Salt n Smoke on the scene there are now more reasons than just hitting Vintage Vinyl to cruise Delmar.  The Peacock is toward the east end of the strip on the north side of the street.  There is...surprisingly...a  large neon Peacock on the outside of it which makes it hard to miss.  Street parking is ample at 6:00 A.M. and I don't think you need to worry about U City meters until 8 but check before you rely on me.

The place is...retro.  As you walk in they have a full bar which seems decidedly un-dinery but I would guess that in the business plan it will make up a nice little chunk of the revenue.  There is an internet jukebox but on this particular morning I did not check it out. it is all stark white and seafoam green.  There is about 40 stools which run along a snake like river of counter as well as ample booth and table seating.  the decor is a little hard on the eyes for the early riser and full of kitsch from Edwards ample nostalgia collection.  I think it will make for a great place to take people from out of town but the space is a little too big and cold and a little too “retro” and intentionally “cool”. The counters break up into three different areas of different height for counter and stool...gently rising as they move to the rear of the establishment. A light bar that occasionally and randomly changes color runs along the counter.

The wait staff was certainly more of that same theme.  My server was very pleasant and helpful and he was… pierced all over the place.  Just the visible piercings were in the teens and while not off putting it is once again, a lot for breakfast.  I saw two other servers who also both appeared to be typecast for hipster/waiter/waitress positions.  Still, the service was attentive, my iced tea glass was kept full and I have no complaints other than I started to get the feeling that this place was out hipping the pretentiously faux him City Diner which I have slandered in earlier posts.  When i read paragraphs like this I am always amazed that I am such an asshole but...well, there it is.  

The clientele were much more racially diverse than my typical haunts.  Lots of different folks and it skewed younger.  Perhaps some of the hipsters and college students don’t sleep when I sleep.  There was a couple sitting at the bar having cocktails which at 6:00 A.M. is impressive.

The Menu is… interesting.  But mainly because it lists a lot of options with V (vegan) or GF for gluten free.  This would be first 24 hour diner in the city to provide such information.  Among other options they present their version of the slinger “The Loop Sling”.  Although an abomination of a real slinger it is 2 eggs, meat, Waffle, potatoes with chili and cheese.   They also offer a waffle sandwich , chicken fried steak and biscuits and gravy, none of which are gluten free. Other than that it is a pretty standard breakfast menu along with a full dinner menu heavy on soups and salads. The back page gives you an “About Peacock Diner”

http://peacockloopdiner.com/about/

Which tells you everything you need to know.

The Food was really good.  I just had bacon and eggs with breakfast potatoes.  The potatoes were pretty average and offered in an O'brien variety as well.  I am a favor of the hash brown and eschew the “breakfast potato” but these were fine.  The eggs were I am sure free range and from well loved chicken but they tasted fine.  The lighting in the place is a little off for breakfast food but as I said...fine.  On my initial visit I also ordered the sausage which was good and nothing special. But...it was breakfast. On my second trip with my frequent breakfast companion we both ordered the "Sunrise" with bacon and it was excellent and came with a little roasted tomato slice that mixed nicely with my eggs. On the second trip on a Saturday morning at 8:30 they started slow but got pretty crowded by the time we bailed at 9:30. Once again a lot of diversity of clientele, and a VERY high hipster quality to the serving staff.... almost over whelming.  

They also served gluten free toast.  For those of you which have not had the pleasure gluten free toast is...not much.  On the other hand you almost never see it.  It is bland but like I said, a treat...of sorts.  It was not toasted enough but it came with good butter so I liked it.

The bathrooms...although I only visited the mens room it was very clean and family friendly with a changing station and a single handicapped stall that was slightly larger than my first home. No hand towels and a hand drier. As an old man I appreciate the clean bathroom.

The Prices are pricey.  Bowl of Cheerios or Raisin Bran $3.50.  An egg is $2.00.  Potatoes $3.00.  The complete breakfasts $8.50.  So breakfast with a tip for the hipster is 11 to 12 bucks with an iced tea.  All in all this was an interesting trip.  I can see taking out of towers here for a late breakfast and a walk around the loop. On my initial trip I was worried about viability but on my second trip i have concluded that Edwards has another winner.

The Buttery Revisited

Sooooo…. The Buttery.  I “discovered” (like I am  Columbus or something) the Buttery well over 20 years ago.  It is on the part of South Grand no one goes to anymore and everyone is hoping is just about to come back and in my life is has been a trash heap with pockets of brilliance.  It is the area between Gravois and Carondelet Park.  My dad’s “people” used to live around here.  The formidable castle that is Cleveland High School is a dominating part of the area along with the iconic Ted Drewes (the other one) and Giuseppe's which is sometimes still open.  On the North side of Gravois their is the bustling Tower Grove South/So-Gra hipster/ethnic collective where people sometimes get murdered but is otherwise a bastion of decent food, cocktails and music and the original, hated, hipster City Diner.  When I head south on Grand I have to pass it and their big banner “VOTED #1 DINER!” banner but I pass it and I curse the RFT under my breath….But I digress.

The Buttery, (I love that name) is the iconic, shotgun diner.  Exposed kitchen and counter with stools overlooking the action and then a scattering of booths flanking the counter.  It has a jukebox.  The bad kind with CD’s you can flip through.  It has a no smoking sign but it looks (and feels) like you should be smoking when you are in there.  The booths are the original faux wood veneer and always look as if the veneer is just about to peel off but is not quite peeling off.  

While doing the extensive research that you have come to expect from this fine, fine, journalistic, intellectual endeavor I found this on line.  Dont watch it with small children.  I only tend to visit these fine establishments at around 6:00 A.M. when things are pretty quiet but any Diner worthy of the name is open all night long and personally I thank the lord that they are because people like this don’t come to my house.  They have a place to go.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1G1bBdA79dw

In the hopes of being a more diligent reviewer I visited the Buttery twice in the last month.  On my first visit I pulled up about 6:30.  there are a few parking spots in back and there is street parking on Grand but in any kind of off light it feels sketchy.  You can also park in the rent A Center lot next door which warns you it is for Rent A Center customers only.  The door advises you of a lot of things:

1. CASH ONLY

2. NO SMOKING

3. NO PUBLIC RESTROOMS.

I think these are all excellent disclosures.

1. DONT TRY AND USE YOUR CREDIT CARD HERE!  WE DONT LIKE IT TO

CUT INTO OUR MARGINS And WE DON'T REPORT ALL OF OUR INCOME!

2. YOU CAN NO LONGER LIGHT UP IN HERE!  OSTENSIBLY GOOD NEWS

FOR THE SENSITIVE BUT PEOPLE SMOKED IN HERE FOR 40 YEARS

AND OUR CEILING TILES ARE STAINED WITH IT. ALSO, THERE IS NO

VENTILATION AND BECAUSE WE USE OIL AND BUTTER WHEN WE

COOK THERE IS ALWAYS A “SMOKY’ SMELL….GET OVER IT.

3. IF YOU ARE NOT EATING HERE YOU CANNOT POOP HERE.

On the first visit there was one gentleman eating at the counter but when I walked in the employee who appears briefly in the video above came in.  We exchanged pleasantries and he brought me an iced tea.  A pitcher of it was sitting on top of the ice machine and it was fresh brewed.  He offered me water as well which I declined.  On my second visit there at about 7:30 on a Saturday the place was hopping with about 7 patrons and two woman working the place.  In each case their ended up being a diverse group of people in the place which I added to.  You have the feeling when eating there that you are eating with “the people” rather than hated City Diner feeling that you are eating with the hipster/privileged.  

The waitress came quickly and took care of my iced tea and was very pleasant when taking my order.  In my celiac phace I can no longer partake of the chicken fried steak and such I ordered what is sadly becoming my standard of two eggs over medium, suasage and hash browns.  No toast (for religious reasons).

On the first trip it came it came quickly and looked like this:

The second time it looked like this.  Pretty nice consistency with different cooks.  The hash browns properly shredded (as God intended) and cooked as you can see to a light golden brown.  While not being certain I believe their staff could crisp them up for you very easily.  On both trips they had similar consistency.  The sausage was standard grade and nothing special but had a nice flavor and the eggs were cooked nicely for over medium.  If you can no longer enjoy the pleasures of toast, over easy is just too sloppy so...over medium it is.

The Bathroom

The Menu at the Buttery is simple, no frills laminated.  Breakfast on the front, and lunch on the back.  Everything is numbered which I assume would assist me when ordering drunk at 2:00 A.M. (Maybe on the next visit).  The menu items are “unremarkable” yet solid providing everything that a true connoisseur would demand.

The next time I am in I am ordering a steak and a pork chop and as always...I will report on my findings.  

Jukeboxes should be mandatory for all diners.  There is a romance to them and once again there is the drunk at 2:00 A.M. factor when you just need to hear some Bad Company.... and not feel particularly embarrassed about it (you should be embarrassed by it, by the way). I like it because it has CD’s in it still.  Not quite as cool as the really awesome ones with 45’s but still… and although I love “Touchtunes” and being able to pull down a lot of songs from “the cloud” there is something about flipping through that limited selection of CD’s to find “the good one”.  When I came in Hank Williams was playing…”Your Cheating Heart”.  Perfect.

There is a bathroom and you can use it if you are a patron.  You go through an unmarked door in the rear and there is a door to the ladies room, a door to the mens room and an open door to the back part of the kitchen.  It also is warm and unventilated.  But it was clean and very serviceable.  A little graffiti on the hand drier but other than that probably cleaner than my bathroom at home.  The door had a serviceable lock and if nature was making its ever more incessant demands, I believe I could find solace there for a few minutes and not feel like I was at risk for Ebola.  Good bathroom.  Please wash your hands.

Additionally I always enjoy the deep history of a place like this and indeed, although we do not know if St. Louis greats like Lou Brock or Stan the Man ever used this bathroom, we are certain that BJ did!

The Staff really is what makes the place.  Seriously.  On both visits, totally different staff.  They probably alternate Saturdays.  You do not get the feeling that they just drove in from Wildwood.  Nor do you get the feeling that they are “artists” living in the SoGrand “walk up” (pretending they live in Brooklyn) that their parents are helping to pay for.  This is their job.  They do it competently, politely and professionally.  There is a reasonable amount of age and tattoos on the staff and they might look gruff, but they are not.  Polite and professional they have a demeanor which says I am here to get whatever you want but please do not give me a lot of shit because I work hard.  At least that is what I got.  I like this place.  The Buttery is St. Louis South Side at its best.  Unpretentious.  Not a lot of money.  Trying to make it day after day.  Not ashamed of anything.  Not asking anyone for a handout.  Trying to get along and not spread any grief in the world and certainly not trying to pretend for the benefit of anyone to be anything other than what it is.  A place to eat.  Maybe to talk.  read the paper.  Gather your thoughts, and get some food that is quick, and hot, and good.  Long live the Buttery!  

Diner Review: Southwest Diner

 Sooooo... As i have have often stated I have a relentless, voracious appetite to bring new and exciting culinary delights to my several loyal readers.   No one is historically more impressed with my dedication than...well...me.  No one that is other than my loyal mates in the FFL (Fantasy Football League).  The league is made of ner do well plaintiff lawyers, a investment guy, a guy who does unspeakable things at a Catholic boys school and a deeply mentally and spiritually impaired private investigator.  It is a good group.  But they are not really people.  Certainly not people with "regular jobs" so the discussion of lunch, breakfast, dinner, drinks and food tend to take up a great deal of time on the email thread.  Recently the PI guy told me about this place and I was intrigued.  It was formerly a small, dark bar in  a "neighborhood" that nothing to offer but the 7-11 on the corner of Southwest and Mc Causland.

I have been there three times now.  Once for breakfast and twice for lunch.  The verdict is still out on it as  breakfast spot but for lunch it was... unstoppable.  They have a limited menu that is a southwest themed menu but they have all the standards of eggs, sausage, biscuits and what looked like some awesome pancakes which i will need to try on my next trip based on their look on the next table.
The lunch has been a killer.  The first time I got a green chili cheeseburger with onion rings, iced tea and a chocolate malt. My companions got an enchilada and some thing with beans and chicken and everyone was very pleased with their food.  The second time I changed it up by getting a green chili cheeseburger, fries and a tea.  My guests got that but one of them ordered a burrito which he said was awesome.  It looked "toasted a little brown on the top and was slightly bigger than a babies head.  All of the food was fresh and hot.  The service was more than adequate and the third time in one of the waiters recognized me and remembered me for breakfast.  The green chili has a great flavor and is not too hot.  With the cheddar it is outstanding and the burger itself is really fresh and juicy and the next time I go back.... I will get it again.  I first had one of these out in Sante Fe at a place called "Bob Cat Bites" that Road Food and Diners, Drive Ins and Dives had reviewed and spoke glowingly of.  It was good.  But not this good. The onion rings were way above average and the fires fresh, hot and crisp.  they like their malts, milk shakes and pies for desert but I will try those another time


I have only been once for breakfast.  I got the biscuits and gravy with chorizo pictured below.  The biscuits seemed really excellent but the gravy tasted more like chile to me and I thought it would make a great slinger for the slinger lovers among us (you know who you are).  I will report more on breakfast another time but I want to tell you there will be another time.  Go there.  it is off the beaten path.  It is unreviewed to the best of my knowledge in the RFT or Post Dispatch.  They serve all menu items all the time but are only open for breakfast and lunch.  Go there now.  Eat there now.Order that green chili cheeseburger, NOW!

Diner Review: The Egg & I

Soooo.... I get giddy like a little school girl when a new breakfast place opens in my general area.  This was the case on Sunday when dining at Annie Gunns I ran into a good friend who told me that I should try “Th Egg & I” (like The King and I but with eggs).  He knows my proclivities in dining at such paces and my enjoyment of same.  The place is in one of the new strip malls jammed into the Des Peres/Kirkwood portion of Manchester which in a few years will be, “the new Crestwood”.  The new monster upscale Dierbergs and the establish monster upscale Schnucks should make Manchester road an avoidable nightmare for everything but residents of the year.  Alas...goodbye Chic Fil Et!
But I digress.  The place opens at 6 which appears to be a good start.  I pulled into the empty lot on a Monday to find a waitress unlocking their out door furniture (slightly disquieting thinking of patio furniture thieves in Des Peres and went in to see that I was the only one there.  The place itself is fairyl large but unfortunately is also pretty non descript.  My first impression was that of a more family friendly “First Watch”.... don’t get me started again on First Watch.  The friendly waitress who had been liberating the patio furniture seated me at a nice window seat and I ordered a tea and reviewed the menu.  As one might expect from the name it is an eggcentric menu:
http://www.theeggandirestaurants.com/egg_menu.html

Not being an egg person I am always annoyed by menus that offer 50 different ways to serve eggs.  I think if I ate eggs I would prefer them scrambled or if feeling fussy...over easy.  Still I was able to order biscuits and gravy with some sausage and ranch style potatoes.  I asked after the existence of hash browns and was sadly told no but was assured that the ranch style potatos were “fantrastic”.  To their additional credit they brew their own iced tea and brought me a glass and a carafe allowing me to refill at my liesure.  An excellent start..  The place was clean and well lit having only opened on July 2nd but once again the lack of patrons was a little disquieting and evidently there had been another patron there because when he checked out he had to wait for the manager/owner to come out of the back where he was doing paperwork and I was quiet enough that I could hear any other conversation in the place.

The food came and it was very nicely presented with the biscuits and gravy in their own boat and the ptoatos on one side and the sausage on the other.  The presentation was the best part.  The suasage was unremarkable and passable.  The biscuits were actually the leaden biscuits that I prefer and we moist and very filling.  The gravy was a little sweet rather than savory but was also passable.  The ranch potatos were of course the hated “breakfast potatos” but they were very well prepared and although cubed, rather than shreaded were crisp and satisfying.  The waitress was very attentive (but what else did she have to do) and was earnestly refilling my tea carafe as I finished the meal.  In the end it was unfortunately unremarkable.  It is another unmemorable place to go break your fast in the morning and from my research of the website I can see that it too is a national chain although there are only two open in the area.  My guess is that unless they can find some way to differentiate themselves from First Watch that they will not be long for the area.  Enjoy your eggs while you can.

Diner Review: The 11 Mile House

Sooooo...The Eleven Mile House! I used to live in Warson Woods, right down the street from theplace. I enjoyed going there for years mainly to see old people drink Manhattans. I ate theKirkwood Burger and the Kirkwood Klucker. They are a burger or a piece of chicken with baconand rarebit sauce. It was easily chewed and tasty. I was there a week or so ago with aluncheon companion when I noticed that they were open for... wait for it....BREAKFAST!

From The Website:

OUR HISTORYTHE ELEVEN MILE HOUSE WAS ORIGINALLY ONE OF MANY "MILE" HOUSES AS ONE TRAVELEDWEST FROM DOWNTOWN ST. LOUIS. FOR MANY YEARS IT WAS A FREE STANDING BUILDING ATTHE CORNER OF MANCHESTER ROAD AND WOODLAWN; IN 1946, THE "ELEVEN MILE HOUSE"OPENED AS A RESAURANT IN THE BUILDING, COMPLETE WITH A POPULAR BEER GARDEN.THE ORIGINAL BUILDING WAS RAISED WHEN GREENTREE CENTER WAS DEVELOPED AND NOWOCCUPIES PART OF THE SHOPPING CENTER'S STOREFRONT. THE DECOR OF THE CURRENTRESTAURANT IS REMINISCENT OF THE CORNER BAR & GRILLS OF YESTERYEAR.MANY GENERATIONS HAVE SINCE PASSED THROUGH THE ELEVEN MILE HOUSE, WHILE OTHERSCONTINUE TO FREQUENT THE ESTABLISHMENT, AND CONSIDER IT TO BE A SECOND HOME. ASTIME CONTINUES TO CHANGE, SO DO WE. OUR GOAL IS TO SEE ANOTHER 62YEARS AND MOREFAMILY GENERATIONS. WE, THE FAMILY OF THE ELEVEN MILE HOUSE, WANT TO THANK YOUFOR YOUR CONTINUED LOVE AND SUPPORT.

So I am pretty excited about the place. It is dark. It opens at 7 which although no good for aweek day but it is a perfect time for Saturday breakfast. Fortunately they are only open forSaturday Sunday breakfast. Did I mention it was dark? Dark is good in the morning and I havebeen looking for a place to perhaps start a regular Saturday breakfast with my retardedacquaintances. Just a 7-8 thing. I think it might be perfect. Tables, booths and did I mention it isdark? They also have drinks! In the MORNING! Anyway, I went. it was not life changing. For the first half hour I was the only one there. The waitress was chatting up the guy who was mopping the floor, doing the dishes and carrying thebread in. She might have been a little too chatty but the iced tea was good, made fresh thatmorning and not dragged out of the walk in from last night. The TV was on but the volume wasoff and it looked like “Head of the Class” or some other excellent show was on.

Taking a seat farenough away from the door but facing the door to watch all the action unfold. It was no unlike thedive bars that serve breakfast in south city and south county. The fact that they serve booze atbreakfast hours is a prominent factor on the menu with them encoujraging you to that morningBloody Mary or Mimosa.I opted for an alcohol free breakfast this morning (patting myself on the back). As a service tomy readers, here is the breakfast menu which is at best basic. Basic is good.

BREAKFASTThe Eleven Mile House Two eggs, two bacon strips, sausage patties, two buttermilk pancakes and toast7.95
Steak & Eggs Six ounce charbroiled strip steak, two farm fresh eggs, golden hash browned potatoes andtoast. 10.95
Bases Loaded Ham, sausage, bacon, two country fresh eggs, golden hash browned potatoes and toast.7.75
Pancake Breakfast Your choice of three regular or blueberry pancakes, served with bacon or sauasagepatties. 7.75
Country Ham & Eggs Served with golden hash browned potatoes and toast. 8.25
Eleven Mile High Breakfast Two farm fresh eggs, golden hash browned potatoes and authentic southernstyle biscuits andgravy. 6.95
Three Egg Omelet your choice of any three: bacon, ham, sausage, mushrooms, onions, green pepper,tomatoes, swiss, jack,american or pepper cheese, with golden hash browned potatoes and toast. 8.95
Egg Sandwich Fried egg, cheese, and bacon or sausage on Your choice of white or whole wheat bread.4.95
Bagel Egg Sandwich Scrambled egg, cheese and bacon or sausage on a bagel. 5.85Two Egg Breakfast Your choice of eggs any style served with golden hash browned potatoes, and yourchoice of a biscuitor toast and jelly. 5.65
One Egg Breakfast Your choice of eggs any style served with golden hash browned potatoes and yourchoice of a biscuit ortoast and jelly. 4.95
HOT OFF THE GRIDDLEServed with your choice of bacon, sausage or hamRegular and Light Syrups AvailableBlueberry Pancakes. 6.15
Hot Griddle Cakes. 5.65
Short Stack. 4.95
French Toast. 6.25
ALA CARTEBacon or Sausage. 3.75
Hash Browns. 2.75
Country Ham. 4.25
Biscuits & Gravy. 4.35
Hot Oatmeal. 3.95
Bagel with Cream Cheese 2.65
English Muffin 2.05
Toast white or wheat with butter & jelly. 2.05
BEVERAGESFresh coffee. 1.95
Hot Tea. 1.95
Milk 2% or skim sm 1.65 lg 1.95
Hot Chocolate. 1.95
Fresh Chilled Juice
white or wheat with butter & jelly. 2.05
BEVERAGESFresh coffee. 1.95Hot Tea. 1.95Milk 2% or skim sm 1.65 lg 1.95Hot Chocolate. 1.95Fresh Chilled JuiceOrange, grapefruit, apple, tomato,and cranberry small 2.50 large 3.50Iced Tea. 1.95Green Tea. 1.95
ADULT BEVERAGESBloody Marysmall 2.50 large 3.50Iced Tea. 1.95Green Tea. 1.95
ADULT BEVERAGESBloody MaryTomato juice, vodka, and celeryBloody BullTomato juice, beef broth, vodka, and celeryMimosaChampagne and orange juiceBaileys and Coffee.ScrewdriverOrange juice and vodka.

Biscuits and gravy were fresh and hot with a nice textured biscuit and a very acceptable whitesausage gravy. The sausage patties were of the thinner variety but tasty and not requiring anyconcern about done-ness (no one likes pink pork). The hash browns were shredded as Godhimself intended and were perfect.I have been looking lately for a place to gather the faithful on Saturday mornings. Many friendsstill have small children (never a welcome addition to breakfast revelry) but there is certainly agroup of people who I could gather with on Saturday, read my paper and verbally abuse thatwould make Saturday morning more palatable before work. Consider yourself invited. I willtrying it out for each upcoming Saturday in February.I have high hopes for the 11 Mile House.Not too far out of the way. Dark. They also have a jukebox and I will look forward to crank thatup some Saturday morning, nursing a hangover and order a bottle of Busch and see what theday has to offer. What could go wrong?

Diner Review: The Crossroads, Mt. Olive Illinois

Soooooo... your diner has been busy in his unceasing efforts to bring you news and reviews of unimportant, bland and trite in the diner and lunch world. Recently it was my lovely daughters 19th birthday. My wife explained to me that other than once when she was stranded in Florida that we had never missed being together with our kids on one of their birthdays. this seemed unlikely to me but as in so many things, I have no memory and fighting with my wife is similar to the bug fighting with the windshield. In any event I left St. Louis at 1:00, drove to Carlinville where my wife was auditing a bank and drove straight to Valparaiso for dinner with my daughter, turned around and drove back to Carlinville. Lets call it a 600 mile round trip for dinner with my lovely daughter... it was probably a little longer and we ended up back in Carlinville at 1:00 A.M. Friday morning.

1. The Magneson Grand Hotel is in Carlinville. i do not know if it is an old Holdiay Inn, and Old Ramada or an old Best Western. At 1:00 A.M. it was creepy. lets put it on the “avoid” list.
2. There are a spate of diners along 55 north of St. Louis but I never get to eat at them because I am n ever passing by them at breakfast time and if so it is on my way to court in some God forsaken Illinois hamlet and there is no time. I have hit the Country Air Diner, and the Ariston in Litchfield, before but other than that they have been woefully unrepresented in these pages.
3. On this morning I got up at 6:30, 60 miles out of town and did not have to be in a meeting till 9 back in the office so it lent itself to a little...meander.

The Crossroads Diner is on the outskirts of the buzzing metropolis of Mt. Olive. It is an easy on easy off from the highway sitting on the east side of 55. It has a big gravel parking lot and truckers are welcome. I tried to get a newspaper outside of it but was disappointed and later delighted to see that the only daily offered was the Herald. It proved to be excellent company for breakfast and i was able to read about all manner of deaths, DUI’s and public drunkenness, as well as the usual deliberations of local governance in the several municipalities and counties surrounding it. It really is a great little paper. No national news. That is OK.

I walked in after being amazed by the crowded parking lot and was pleaed to see a group of about 12 men, the youngest of which might have been 60. They were speaking loudly and at first i was annoyed and then i realized several of them probably couldn’t hear. They covered the weather, the state of several of their penises, politics (local and national), the weather, women, the waitress and her alleged boyfriend etc...It was a good show and a heartening piece of Americana which makes the Diner Review a worthwhile endeavor for yours truly. I wonder if I will have such a group, have such a place or even give a shit by the time I have time to have breakfast with a group like this.

They were at tables so I sat at the counter and what a counter it it. A double horseshoe of stools along a formica bar at just the right (low) height. Beautiful. The griddle was not in site and everything was cooked and passed through a window but still it had a good feel to it. I tend, as discussed to generally order the same things. Hash Browns, biscuits and gravy and sausage. The iced tea was brewed and fresh. The counter was clean and the waitress was pure...waitress. She put up with the bullshit from the old men and talked pork sausage with the cook. They agreed that the sausage here was not much but the sausage at the upcoming whole hog sausage festival at a local church was “to die for”. This was slightly disconcerting since I savor good sausage and it is so hard to find. The hash browns, shredded and crisp were perfect. The biscuits were of the proper fluffiness/soppiness ratio and the gravy was good if unremarkable. The sausage, as advertised.... not much. I saw the eggs at the old man table and they looked cooked to order. No one had the pancakes or any of the other specialty items on the menu and I get the feeling you want to stick to basics though if ever back around lunch I will hit the pork tenderloin.


The Crossroads is absolutely not a place you go for the food. It was serviceable yet unspectacular. You go for the experience because it will likely not always be there. If you head up 55 it is at the venerable Mt. Olive/Benld (buy a vowel) exit and although I did not have time I will, one day stop and visit the “Mother Jones Monument”.

The Crossroads Website: http://www.mtolivecrossroads.com/index.html

To learn more about Mother Jones Monument: http://www.roadtripamerica.com/places/mtolive.htm

Diner Review: PW Pizza

Soooooo....PW Pizza.... I really, really like it. I was turned onto it by an awful...awful lawyer who is an aggressive food snob and degenerate prick. I like ahim a great deal. He also turned me on to Mi Ranchito in Fairmont City. PW Pizza is on the first floor of Vin Du Cet. I would like to tell you all about it and how I was the first one there but I have never dined or drank there so screw that. But PW....I have been there a half dozen times now. It is pretty far east on Cheteau but not as far east as Ralson.

It is tricked out woody place with a nice little trendy spice shop, wine shop, cheese shop (useless) and a small bar (pleasant) as you come in. There are normally friendly people at the hostess station and if you get there by 11:30 you can always get a seat for lunch and if your ater be prepared to wait or sit at the bar. They have a nice selection of beers that can make any stay at the bar more enjoyable....even at lunch...even =when you have a client meeting....even when your going to going to court to argue against your client getting the death penalty at 1:00. I normally drink Grisedick Brothers there but that is just me.

Start with a salad. All of them are good. Very fresh and interesting. But then get what you are there for which is either pizza or calzone. I am currently higher on the pizza than the the calzone but the calzone is excellent too. My problem is that they use the buffalo mozzerella rather than good old fashioned processed mozzerella like God intended. But the crust is perfect. The sauce is generally very good and their red sauce just has a little...itty bitty bit of heat. They are good and slightly bigger than your head.

Normally I would hate a place like this. It says shit on the menu like:
“Crusts available in Original, Honey Wheat or Gluten Free
Vegan – daiya cheese substitute available”.
I don’t even know what that means. Get original. It is awesome. They have all kinds of items and they are all fresh. I have been extremely boring and generally get sausage and pepperoni. It is really good. Also, they only serve pizza in 12” pies and they serve two but I like to try and eat one by muself because I am after all a gross pig. I am generally of a mind right now that it is the best pizza in St. Louis. They are doing everything right currently and it is kind of a fun destination. perhaps one of you can get to Vin Du Set and tell me what that is all about. But you would have to likely get a job first and move out of your parent basement. Here is the link:

http://pwpizza.com/our_menu

Saturday...In The Bar... Bogarts and iTap (International Tap House)

Soooooo.... often I find myself at loose ends on a Saturday afternoon. I work in the morning when I am in town. Generally this is due to a lack of imagination and a general lack of motivation on my part. This makes me sad. There are many fun and wonderful things to do and eat in the Lou. I bitch about living here a lot but... God help me...I really like it here. Yesterday my wife was hosting another wedding shower for another of the innumerable children of our friends who are betrothed. Fortunately it was being held at someone elses house but there was still lots of set up, slicing of fruit, brewing of tea, lacy things and all thing imasculine and to be avoided.

I had considered making another run to Tienda Ranchito with the father of the groom and the poor lost soul whose wife was actually hosting the party. it is a festive thing to do because it calls for going to another State and not going to gamble or go to topless bars. This generally adds to self esteem. For one reason or another it seemed likje a reach so I suggested Bar B Que and specifically suggested either Pappy’s or Bogarts. Pappys has become an institution but Bogarts burst on the scene in the last year. They are related somehow in management or former management or ownership or something. Details, as is often the case, elude me.

So we all drove in to Soulard. Now I love Soulard. Lots of good bars, some decent food, too damn much blues music that all sounds the same but it is an area with character and history. It is kind of cool. I always explain to out of towners that when you lose your license on your 3rd DWI, you move to Soulard so you can walk to bars...and catch public transportation. It is really the only option unless you are going to stop drinking, or go to jail. But I digress. Bogarts is on the south west corner of Soulard Farmers Market on Lafayette.

There is always a line but this should not intimidate unless it is really cold. We walked in and there was a guy standing there handing out these brilliant...BRILLIANT chicken wings that were smoked and seasoned. We immediately started looking on the menu for them when we were informed that they “were not available” because they just did not have enough room in the smoker to make it a menu item. Shit. But we chatted up the guy and asked if they had beer and that is when the brilliance started. He said, “No but you can order a carryoiut and take it down to iTap or you can call in and we will deliver down there.” BRILLIANT!

Bogarts Menu: http://bogartssmokehouse.com/menu/

We grabbed a carryout menu and walked the 30 yards to iTap and settled in at the bar. iTap, The International Tap House, is one of those places that have 62,000 beers and tap and over 2 million different bottled beers. Once agin, I could not give a shit because I drink (in order of preference) Busch, Stag and Pabst. I am not proud of this. I do like good beer but obviously putting good beer in front of me is kind of a “pearls before swine” proposition. We settled into the bar and dialed up or order and they said “ten minutes and you can walk straight to the counter and not wait in line”. Despite all the beer selections we ordered some Schlafly Kolsch and a Boulevard Pale Ale (because they have a cheaper price for Missouri Beers when Missouri is playing) and we settled in to watch some Missouri texas football along with a little Michigan State.

Tap House Website: http://www.internationaltaphouse.com/

We walked down and got the food. One guy got a pulled pork sandwich and the other and I both got the ½ slab of ribs with an order of meat. They gave us a selection of sauces abd we chowed down. The iTap at the bar has three sweet large flat screens which makes it easier for an old guy like me. They also have a few tables and some couchy, loungy areas. I think they only serve beer. I did not see anyone smoking but I have stopped paying attention. The ribs were absolutely unstoppable. I had always gone pulled pork before but the ½ slab was meaty and perfect with great smoke and a little spice. When ribs are good, they are always “the best ribs ever” and these were THE BEST RIBS EVER! They really were good. Moist and plenty of meat. I did not even get to my pulled pork or any of the sides because the ribs were so much. I ate it today for lunch.

I really do have to recommend this as a great way to watch football and eat ribs. It is definitely a boy thing. I guess girls could be allowed but with beer, football and ribs wouldn’t that be kind of stupid? That is all for now, I am too good to you people.

Diner Review: The Half and Half

The Half & Half opened in Clayton. It is by no means a diner. It is a fashionable, trendy, delicious and slightly pricey breakfast and lunch place in Clayton. I think it opened June 1 or so, so The Diner Review is once again discharging it’s obligation to be cutting edge and deliver the 411 (and sometimes the 911) to my loyal (if somewhat sad, troubled and empty lifed) readers. I knew nothing of the opening and then one of my loyal dining companions called and suggested it. I of course ignored his suggestion and forced he and a third diner (loser) to commit to going to the Pomme where I had missed my normal weekly outing with St. Louis pre-eminent divorce counsel.

I was going to be dining with two other “lawyers”, both with a large downtown law firm and both, giving them full credit, deeply...deeply troubled. But I digress. A third attorney called me the night before and began to rant in a long monologue extolling the virtues of Half & Half. Now granted, this third lawyer is also somewhat effeminate, fashionable and had gone through at least two wives, so I should not have listened to him either. But I did and I called an audible and ended up arriving first at Half & Half. I understand it is owned and run by the people who own The Good Pie which is a pizza place well defended by those that know. It is on Maryland right next to Almonds. There is ample street parking. They do not open till 7, just like Pomme and the hated First Watch which makes it an anathema for anyone with a paying job and any kind of work ethic but, it is what it is.

The place is nice and sparse with a lot of four top tables and the ones on the wall feel like booths. It is reasonably well lit while not being bright and is tasteful with a white, off white and country blue interior. I sat. I read the Post Dispatch (that took 2 ½ minutes and only because I thoroughly read the law and order section looking for names of friends and clients and thoroughly read the obituaries because if my name is there i don’t need to go work) and noticed that there are no salt and pepper shakers, only a small container filled with sea salt and another with coarse black pepper. Fashionable? Yes. Practical? I am thinking about it.

The breakfast menu is a simple piece of 8 ½ by 11 paper. It looks like this:

http://halfandhalfstl.com/test/menus

It read more like a pastry shop but what the hell? You cannot judge it until or unless you try it and here I was. The iced tea by the way brewed, fresh and awesome. My compatriots arrived. One had coffee, without comment on it’s quality. The other ice tead. We surveyed the menu and made out selections. I opted for the blackberry french toast after I questioned the waitress at some length regarding exactly what constituted mascarpone and brioche”. I leave it to you to figure out. My fellow diner reviewers got the corned bread and chorizo and the fried egg sandwich. All were pronounced “excellent”. The corned bread, though vaguely phallic in presentation was perfect and the Mexican sausage was also very good and the eggs fresh. the fired egg sandwich was served on a bun and frankly looked as perfect as it was pronounced. I also sampled the bacon (flavorful, well cooked and slightly chewy) and even the dreaded “breakfast potatoes” which, since not hash browns, I can only call tolerable in fulfilling my need for tubers in the morning.

There are a number of things troubling about the place. it is not cheap. It seems to cater to a more sensitive and well adjusted group of people. Even if smoking were still legal in a restaurant you would not consider it here and if you did considerate one of the friendly, helpful staff would club you to the ground like a hapless baby seal. It is also troubling to offer veggie options and the inclusion of Brussell sprouts (which they are having a hard time sourcing) into not one, but two breakfast entries is just too....”look at me...look at how clever and healthy I am”, for me.

That having been said, the food was excellent. The service was cheerful, helpful and unpretentious. it would be a GREAT place to take your wife, mother or mother in law... or your “kinda gay” friends. In any case I think it is a welcome addition to the Clayton breakfast scene and the St. Louis one as well. I highly recommend it. Not a classic diner but a good fancy breakfast from nice people.

8 ½ Slingers on the 10 scale.