Diner Check List

CHECK LIST FOR DINER:
PLEASE PRINT OUT AND CARRY WITH YOU
YOU ARE NOT BRIGHT ENOUGHT TO REMEMBER!

1_____Cheap Aluminum Napkin Dispensers

2_____Dispensing incredibly thin and useless napkins

3_____Condiments on every table include either hot sauce, chili pepper or both

4_____Waitress (never a waiter) is a woman of indeterminate age and is NEVER pretty

5_____Grease hangs in the air and yet is also caked on everything

6_____Ashtrays on counter and in each booth. One booth inairless corner marked "no smoking."

7_____Floor is almost disgustingly dirty

8-----Breakfast served 24 hours

9_____Menu is laminated (due to grease) and has 50 items on essentially one page

10____Bathroom marked "FOR PATRONS ONLY"

11_____Cook is smoking a cigarette while cooking your food

12_____There is a daily special which is on the preprinted menu for the same price as the "special".

13_____Counter with stools

14_____Griddle is right behind counter in plain view

15_____There is a door behind the kitchen counter and grill and no one ever goes back there (accept to die)

16_____Large vent over griddle that is never on and never works

17_____Pay ohone (anachronism)

18_____They only take cash

19_____Someone is asleep (passed out) in one of the booths

20_____There is a substance on the top of the booth...just a substance

21_____Empty beer cans and bottle left outside door as people enter

22_____Clock

23_____Newspaper machine outside

24_____Ability to have chili and/or cream gravy on ANYTHING

OPTIONAL:

Cigarette Machine

Glass Doored "Pie Safe"