Diner Review III: River Side Diner

Sometimes I fall in love again with St. Louis. Not often but sometimes. One of the fabulous things about having a passion for Diners is that I am always trying new places I find, stumble upon or have know about for a long time but have never gotten to. Such was the case today when I visited the River Side Diner on south...south Broadway. Do NOT confuse this with the faux hip City Diner on Grand (not a Diner).

I first saw the River Side Diner a number of years ago on a morning driving tour. It is on Broadway south of the brewery by about 4 miles...almost to Lemay...just down the hill from Alexian Brothers which is up on the bluff. This is a hard scrabble part of Broadway right on the river with barge traffic and oil storage tanks, metal salvage yards, pawn shops and bars. It is definitely an area where people work, live, eat and drink and some never leave in part because their cars are broken down and..well...with a few DWI’s driving does not make a lot of sense anymore. It is right down the street from the bar “Slo Toms” with which I have had an epic fascination for at least 10 years. It is a part of town which although sketchy at best, I have never felt unsafe in.

This is a REAL diner with REAL people who have jobs and work or...are just living off their disability or social security checks. I walked in at 7:00 on a Saturday and the small place was absolutely packed with all the 7 or 8 tables were full. There are no booths but they did have a nice counter which was more then adequate. Linda was the only waitress and after she wiped the counter she asked what I wanted and i did not have the balls to ask for a menu. I ordered hash browns, (shredded as God inteded), a couple of sausage patties and toast. She also got me an iced tea (brewed).She wrote my order down on a simple notebook pad instead of any tyoe of ordering pad.
There were 20 people in the place and most all of them new each other as well as Linda and indeed even Scott the cook. Scott was a 6’ 4” 315 pound doo ragged white guy who...cooked really well but you would not want to fuck with him under any circumstances. Scott was the ONLY person in the place other then me who was not smoking. It was yet another place that proved the socio-economic arguments about cigarette companies praying on the poor and the stupid. Every table had an ashtray and every ash tray was being fully utilized.
I got a menu to look at as I watched my food cooked about three feet away from me on a hot griddle. The pancakes look awesome and Scott was man who clearly knew his way around an egg mixing up some excellent omlettes as well as some delicate over easy and over mediums that would have made my wife’s heart beat faster. The menu was excellent with VERY low prices and all the breakfast stapes including biscuits and gravy and the dreaded and much discussed, analyzed and treasured “slinger”.

Regulars as I said were everywhere and the obligatory older loud mouthed guy (Bill) came in and started trading sexual inuendos with Linda and was told by Scott to “shut the fuck up” several times. Local color. You wonder if every good diner has regulars like this who just come out to have someone to talk to but are so poorly socialized that they stir it up wherever they are. Bill and Scott made plans to go down the street later that night for a beer and you did get a feeling that most of the people in the place walked there. The place did not sport a juke box but did indeed have one of those “shifty” free standing video poker machines where it is never spoken outloud about whether they pay in cash or not. It looked poorly used but..who knows. The coffee looked strong, the tea was good and fresh. It looked relatively clean and in most cases was probably cleaner then most of the patrons who frankly looked lijke people who worked hard every day. I think the most expensive thing on the menu was biscuits and gravy with sausage and hash browns for $5.00. My bill came to $3.50 after I went to the counter and cash register and she added it up. Being used to paying twice that much at the Courtesy or Chile Parlor I was able to tip generously and work my way out of the smoke out to the morning on Broadway.

River Side is probably only 100 yards off the river but the view is blocked by buildings and tanks but a short drive north on Broadway provides access to the river and you can drive your car to the edge and take in the morning and watching that deceptively slow river as it swirls and eddies south never knowing your there.
The River Side Diner is a 9 Slinger Rating out of 10. It is worth the trip.