The Dumb Fall Hard

Alberto Gonzales
Who Cares?







Seriously... is there anyone who cares about this guy or this administration anymore? Aside from being an ongoing embarrassment which will not go away. They have very little relevance other then hoping that they do not do any more damage before they get out. There is no question we will still have a 100,000 men in Iraq at the end of the administration. There is also very little question that even in the case of someone’s death they will not appoint another Supreme Court Justice. Their failed foriegn policy has left us with no military force that can threaten anyone and we are so reviled by the rest of the word as to have any influence other then fear and loathing.

Still, Gonzales has provided us with another embarassing, yet divine comedy. Much like Scooter Libby you have to feel sorry for the guy. The misguided sense of loyalty which trumps honesty, the Consitution or any sense of dignity or self respect. And having said all that I want to be clear, Congress is worse. Of that whole Senate Judiciary Committee Arlen Specter is the only one I can currently stomach. I know he is an old time hustler and fixer but whether it is regarding Supreme Court nominees or this current debacle with Gonzales he is the only guy who seems to understand the humor of the situation. And he is the only Republican with the balls to say to Gonzales that he has no cfredibility and frankly he does not believe him.
Think about that. The Attorney General of the United States of America (our head cop, the guy responsible for being the symbol of American justice) has one of the senior Senators from his party say that to him...to his face... about him. Oh the humanity. It was hard to watch...over and over again after it happened on CNN and Meet The Press. Surprisingly Fox (fair and balanced) did not cover it.

CNN said:

But sources involved in discussions with White House officials say,"People are a bit shocked. He didn't win over Democrats and he may have lost a few Republicans. No one privately is saying it's a homerun. No one is saying he did what he needed to do. There's faint praise like he didn't get killed. We understand he's on shaky ground." They went on to quote White House sources saying, “His [Gonzales'] tactic was inexplicable. He keeps saying I know why I made the decision, but I don't know anything else,"

His Republican friends said:

"The communication was atrocious. It was inconsistent -- it's generous to say that there was misstatements; it's a generous statement. And I believe you ought to suffer the consequences that these others have suffered," Coburn said, adding, "I believe the best way to put this behind us is your resignation."
Coburn is the first Republican on the Senate Judiciary Committee to call for Gonzales' resignation.

Wow!

Sen. Arlen Specter, R-Pennsylvania, told reporters that Gonzales' "credibility has been impaired" and that the case has put career attorneys in a precarious position.

Our friends at Fox labeled Specter as a Democrat...nice “mistake.”

"The moment I believe I can no longer be effective, I will resign as attorney general," Thats what the man said but how can he concievably be effective after that beating. Granted Spector is probably tired of seeing the guy as it becomes more and more clear that the only reason he has not been fired is because Bush knows he could not appoint anyone conservative enough for his base who would have a prayer of being confirmed and then...oh yes...it does distract from his disasterous war policy. Anyhing that keeps the latest Iraqui or Afghan or Pakistani war failure off the front page is a bonus. So what if it further shames our country to have this poor, overmatched, outwitted, wrongheaded yet still stridently loyal man crucified by members of his own party.
***
But why do I say Congress sucks? becuas the two things that have them pissed off, the firing of the U.S. Attorneys for political reasons (which is clearly not illegal although it breaks precedent and is further evidence of an amoral dogmatic White House) and his apparent lack of candor that he went to John Ashcroft’s hospital bed to get him to OK the continuation of the warrentless search and siezure law and his insistance that there was no debate in the Justice department make him a liar. I am tired of Congress getting to the bottom of something that should be very embarrassing for the administration and people perjuring themselves. I cannot get excited about this anymore. Clearly when the White House does something stupid it is expected that subordinates will lie about, humiliate themselves and destory their careers (and damage the Constitution) so that they can be seen as team players.

This is not news anymore. It is not even interesting. Watching Gonzales made me feel the same way I feel watching Paris Hilton explain away her actions or Lindsay Lohan explain hers. this is low drama and low comedy. Congress has some serious things to deal with (consumer debt, sub prime mortgages, hedge funds, the Iraq war, the Afghan War and the destruction of the middle class to name a few) but they lack either the balls, the creativity or the intelligence to do that so instead they engage in the same pathetic melodrama we saw in Clinton’s last Congress where they impeached the President for his recollection of one his White House blow jobs. THAT MY FRIEND IS WHAT REPRESENTATIVE GOVERNMENT IS FOR.
Makes me dream of what it would be like if Hunter Thompson was still alive. Bad Craziness.... Indeed!

Me with pitchers


Me in a hat with crazy eyes



Hat in a Window

Book Review Number 8: Huckelberry Finn

Mark Twain
Adventures of Huckelberry Finn
Barnes and Noble Classics 292 Pages

So...who cares about Mark Twain. He is dead...right? I like to read. I read a lot of crap. I read a lot of cynical, negative crap. Every once in a while it is time to get back to a classic or two. Last year it was Anna Karenina which was as hard as I remembered it but much more rewarding then it was in college. Twain seemd easier, shorter and yes more American.

Written in 1884 (although most of it was allegedly written pre civil war when “Tom Sawyer” was released, many have pointed to this book as the start of American literature and pegged and perhaps unfairly saddled with the title of “Great American Novel.” I thought it would be easy to read and it is...if you gloss over, skim and just kind of take in the narrative swing. But you can’t. Twain demands attention because he is so biting, so critical and so funny that it is embarrassing to miss the jokes.

Twain wrote this in a “style” that sought to mimic the rural Missouri and rural south which he experienced. This is similar to many hip hop authors, and southern authors since that time. The idea that you could write out bastardized king’s english and that all printed word whould not be written like Jane Austen (who was born right in the middle of Twains life) was an anathma. But the book is just so good.

A classic story of adventure and human nature. Starkly drawn characters which allow the reader to identify with each one and the bad characters are never totally bad and the heroes...Huck and Tom... are never really that good. From his abusive father to the rivercity con men that he “befriends” the bad guys are richly drawn, complex and ultimately sad characters and the fact that he can make you feel empathy fo these cruel and stupid characters is for me one of the books greatest traits.
In our politically correct day this book would not be published due to his use of the word “niger” over 200 times, primarily with the character “nigger Jim.” While it certainly would be totally unacceptable and unjustifiable in ANY modern society at this point, his use of the word has been defended and contextualized but I am not sure that Twain was not deeply familiar with the offensiveness of the term and it’s odious nature. In using it so casually throughout the book is evinces a contempt but in one of the most quoted and most biting indictment of time and really of human beings there is the sequence where Huck is explaining that a dirver blew on a steam boat and Aunt Susie asks:

"Good gracious! anybody hurt?" she asks.
"No'm," comes the answer. "Killed a nigger."

Seriously...where do you go with that? Devaluation of human life, social commentary, indictment, whatever...all in about ten words. Arthur Petit wrote a great summary book of Clemens relatioship with the south, slavery and blacks called “Mark Twain and The South.” Here is the link:

http://etext.virginia.edu/railton/enam482e/reviews/swilson.html

Throughout the book he is constantly throwing out other beauties such as when his discussing a farm house preacher and says:

”....and he never charged nothing for his preaching, and it was worth it, too.”
Beautiful.

The story waxes and wains but many commentators including Twain believe that the novel should have ended after about 200 pages when Nigger Jim gets stolen from Huck. The rest of the book after that is a somewhat long winded happy ending. The brevity of style is what is also amazing. If T. Corghassen Boyle or David Foster Wallace Wrote this book now it would be 800 pages with footnotes. Twain did it 150 years ago with incredible grace. Bottom line is that if you need a good read and you need a little bit to think about, this is a nice break and a good refresher on life, writing and what is great and bad about people... and authors....and America.

Scandals In Sports?

So...whats up with sports and character...and drugs? I don’t know the answer and I do not mean to bemoan the obvious but...Jesus, Mary and Joseph. How did come epidemic? Has it always been epidemic? Have we been idiots to put all these guys on a pedestal for long like the Catholics did with their Priests...only to find that there are more cheaters then ever? I like to think that I am plenty cynical and don’t kid myself about people’s morality and character but once again...Jeez.

Barry Bonds. OK...he has been taking steroids for years and has bulked up not just his chest, arms and legs but...his neck and forhead. His naturally poor disposition has become almost homicidal over the last few years and even as he attains the record he is already become a sad freak whose record for right or wrong will be asterisked and disdained forever. It is very sad but still troubling because we don’t know what to do. Everyone knows that he ingested steroids in some form and bulked up unaturally. It is somewhat less clear to me whether or not it was “illegal” or even against the rules when he started but there is no question that it is now. One question though. Why is it so important that athletes do not artificially enhance themselves to increase performance? Why don’t we mind when an actress gets breast implants or liposuction, tummy tuck, hair implants...what is the difference? What indeed?

So what do we do? We let the guy get the record and wait till the end of the season and then the Commissioner offers him a chance to retire. If he does not he gets banned in the best interests of baseball. Along with that he announces serious drug testing and a zero tolerance policy which will cost us over time some of our best athletes. Teams and fans will be traumatized by the results but over time we will heal and so will the sport. As a public the best thing we could do would be to not talk about it and leave it alone.

The Tour de France. Jeeez! What happened here. We thought that with the Floyd Landis thing we had cleaned this thing up and were going to have a clean tour with clean results. What a nightmare... what a clown show. I am sure a lot of these guys are clean but once again we have no choice but to think that anyone who is succeeding is doping their blood, elevating testosterone or perhaps spending too much time with Vietmamese hookers. All can have the same result and all are equally frowned upon. This ended up in a nice battle on the last days of the tour since Rasmussen and Viokurov and well, so many others were then out. But what about them? I understand so little about drug testing but it seems like it is inexact science at best. Is it important that these guys dope? Is it demeaning that many of us assume that Lance was doping in some way? I don’t know. What do you do for the Tour? Same thing. Kick the bad guys out, strengthen your testing regime and for God sakes stop talking about it.

Tim Donaghy? NBA ref. Fixing games? Now this... this is a real nightmare. There was the Black Sox scandal. In 1994 there was that Northwester point shaving thing and the great City College of New York point shaving scandal but those all involved players. Boxers have taken falls but the dodginess of boxing is well known. But...but...but....we have always counted on the underpaid, very fallable refs to be on the up and up and if they werent it was just because they had lousy personalities, wanted to screw Bobby Knight or were just really and truly legally blind. The idea that one of the zebras was dealing for his own account really does undermine the game. Perhaps it is a wakeup call for everyone that that when you have a group of guys who everyone is counting on to perform, and so many dollars and so many personal and professional lives rely on the outcome that perhaps these guys should get some kind of compensation. Perhaps then we could think about doing the same for teachers.

That leaves us with Micheal Vick. Other then raping and killing someone’s child is there anything else he could of done to ruin his career quicker? No...there isn’t. We have become very accepting of DWI’s, drug arrests, gunplay in clubs, manslaughter related to the above, beaten girlfriends... the list goes on and on. I mean, after all, their athletes right. They get a pass. But not for this. I know, I know, innocent until proven guilty but... this guy is toast. This is an easy call as we can see because it has already been done. Pull his endoresments, ban him from participating in anything while he defends himself and let the law do what it will. He will not do any hard time but seriously...if I were him I would be seriously worried about someone shooting me. Other then his friends and family.... no one would mourn. Very sad. he always seemed like a nice guy.

So...the Diner reviewer believes that...as much as he loves sports... that we have truly, madly and deeply gone off the deep end in regard to athletics. We rely on these guys to distract us from the droll, hum drum and day to day. We live vicariously through them and give them monstrous salaries, possies, sex, drugs, women, no accountability and then we all act shocked when they do not behave like Wally Cleaver. Seriously, where the hell do we get off. these guys are nothing without our dollars and our unending tolerance and adoration. Perhaps it is time to reconsider where we find out heroes and show a little depth... or we can just go to the game, pay 20 bucks to park, 100 bucks for a ticket, 80 more for a jersey with their name on it, 6 bucks for a beer and 4 more for a hotdog so that this fabulous system can just keep on keeping on. I could be wrong.

Book Review Number 7: UBIK

Book Review
Phillip Dick
UBIK
OK....so in my obession with Jonathan Lethem I am starting to read authors that he is obsessed about. This cannot be healthy for me and there should likely be some kind of intervention. In his essay book Lethem waxes poetically about Dick and how his he would obsessively search for his out of print books and how some were very average and others were world stoppingly brilliant and he would go to book clubs and debate his genius with non believers.

I had no familiarity with his body of work and it is a body but I had at least heard of the book UBIK. Dick died in 1982. I read a little science fiction when I was younger. Primarily sword and sorcery type stuff. Sadly I knew Conan the Barbarian not through Arnold Schwartzenegger or even through his comic book but from a series of really dark books written by a guy named Robert E. Howard. About as sci-fi as i ever got was some of Kurt Vonneguts trippier stuff. But...Lethem said Phillip Dick was cool which is roughly the same as hearing Neil Young say that Sonic Youth really rocks. If you love one then of course you must obsess over the other...right?

Well...UBIK...it is weird. It is clearly an old book. Dick is looking forward into the 1990’s (it was written back in 1969) as a time when space travel is routine. The big things in the book are that they have perfected something called “half life” where after you die they keep you in something a lot like a mortuary where you can be communicated with by loved ones until you slowly fade away over a period...a long period evidently of years. There are also people who can forsee the future and people do not neccesarily want these people around so there are people who “block” them.


According to Wikipedia, “Foreshadowing the cyberpunk sub-genre, Philip K. Dick brought the anomic world of California to many of his works, exploring sociological and political themes in novels which were often dominated by monopolistic corporations and authoritarian governments. In his later works, Dick addressed the nature of drug use, paranoia and schizophrenia, religious experience and theology, drawing upon his own life experiences in novels such as A Scanner Darkly and VALIS.” From this book I can see a lot of it.
The main protagonist in the book works for a company that blocks them. He finds a particular new talent in a comely young woman who can rewind the past at any time and then see how her actions effect it going forward...anyway...she turns out to be bad news but not the worst bad news as our hero and all his gang have a bomb explode while they are on the moon which sets time...at least for them quickly moving backwards. You suspect all along that it is the bad news girl’s doing. I like the play of sexual tension between the girl and...just about everyone she meets but once her character is established it is not developed that well. The end... well... I still do not really get the end. There is a vague quality of of the Dallas “Who Shot J.R.”, it was all a dream type sequence. I don’t know. I am going to give another one or two of his books a try and we will see. Indeed...we will see.
***
Engineered Support's Shanahans are sued by SEC
By Tim Barker
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH

Tim Barker got the by line on this story but it has been developing over months with allegations followed by guilty pleas followed by civil suits and now indictment. Recently the founder and former majority shareholder of Engineered Support Systems got indicted along with his son. Michael Shanahan and his son are St. Louisans of note and he has been a major force locally in his purchase and resale of the Blues and in numerous civic projects. Anyone who meant the guy socially would tell you that he was and is a good guy, from a nice family...good people.
From messing with the U.S. Attorney’s office on behalf of various clients over the years I have come to view them with a certain amount of respect, awe, appreciation and...well..fear. They weild awesome power... sometimes troubling power but one thing for sure is that they do NOT like to lose and they rarely do. There have been inumerable backdating cases which have been prosecuted and there is a reason for that in that they are difficult cases to prosecute. But they have brought criminal charges here, not just civil charges and that makes this a nightmare.
ALLEGATIONS The U.S. attorney cites examples of alleged backdating by Gary Gerhardt, Michael F. Shanahan Sr. and Michael F. Shanahan Jr. at Engineered Support Systems. In at least three instances, stock options were backdated then changed after the price fell.

According to the indictment: On July 16, 2002, Shanahan Jr. instructed Gerhardt to issue options backdated to June 14, 2002, when the Engineered Support stock traded at $44.75 per share.
Once the U.S. government charges someone... those people tend to get convicted of... something. If they do not get them for the alleged crime itself they get them for something they did once they realized that they had a problem like trying to color or shade things so that the “investigation” went no further or making mis statements under oath to investigators ala Scooter Libby. In the U.S. Government you have an adversary that has unlimited resources and when they sick the IRS, the Postal Inspectors and their own people on you... they find out all kinds of things and some you do not even know were problems.
What is particularly troubling about this for me is that I see how it could happen... to me. I am majority shareholder and running a company that is making (for lack of a better term) a shitload of money. Gobs of money.... unconscionable sums of money. While I might have some issues with how they made their money (profiting off of the U.S. war machine) the fact is they made it and a lot of shareholders got rich. When doing this and in this type of situation it would be very easy for me to go along and get along and add a little bit or a lot more to my compensation...expecially when i knew that there would not be any need to get particular shareholder or board approval of my increased compensation. I don’t know.
Be careful to judge this man
According to Wikipedia, “Foreshadowing the cyberpunk sub-genre, Philip K. Dick brought the anomic world of California to many of his works, exploring sociological and political themes in novels which were often dominated by monopolistic corporations and authoritarian governments. In his later works, Dick addressed the nature of drug use, paranoia and schizophrenia, religious experience and theology, drawing upon his own life experiences in novels such as A Scanner Darkly and VALIS.” From this book I can see a lot of it.

The main protagonist in the book works for a company that blocks them. He finds a particular new talent in a comely young woman who can rewind the past at any time and then see how her actions effect it going forward...anyway...she turns out to be bad news but not the worst bad news as our hero and all his gang have a bomb explode while they are on the moon which sets time...at least for them quickly moving backwards. You suspect all along that it is the bad news girl’s doing. I like the play of sexual tension between the girl and...just about everyone she meets but once her character is established it is not developed that well. The end... well... I still do not really get the end. There is a vague quality of of the Dallas “Who Shot J.R.”, it was all a dream type sequence. I don’t know. I am going to give another one or two of his books a try and we will see. Indeed...we will see.
***
Engineered Support's Shanahans are sued by SEC
By Tim Barker
ST. LOUIS POST-DISPATCH

Tim Barker got the by line on this story but it has been developing over months with allegations followed by guilty pleas followed by civil suits and now indictment. Recently the founder and former majority shareholder of Engineered Support Systems got indicted along with his son. Michael Shanahan and his son are St. Louisans of note and he has been a major force locally in his purchase and resale of the Blues and in numerous civic projects. Anyone who meant the guy socially would tell you that he was and is a good guy, from a nice family...good people.

From messing with the U.S. Attorney’s office on behalf of various clients over the years I have come to view them with a certain amount of respect, awe, appreciation and...well..fear. They weild awesome power... sometimes troubling power but one thing for sure is that they do NOT like to lose and they rarely do. There have been inumerable backdating cases which have been prosecuted and there is a reason for that in that they are difficult cases to prosecute. But they have brought criminal charges here, not just civil charges and that makes this a nightmare.

ALLEGATIONS The U.S. attorney cites examples of alleged backdating by Gary Gerhardt, Michael F. Shanahan Sr. and Michael F. Shanahan Jr. at Engineered Support Systems. In at least three instances, stock options were backdated then changed after the price fell.

According to the indictment: On July 16, 2002, Shanahan Jr. instructed Gerhardt to issue options backdated to June 14, 2002, when the Engineered Support stock traded at $44.75 per share.
Once the U.S. government charges someone... those people tend to get convicted of... something. If they do not get them for the alleged crime itself they get them for something they did once they realized that they had a problem like trying to color or shade things so that the “investigation” went no further or making mis statements under oath to investigators ala Scooter Libby. In the U.S. Government you have an adversary that has unlimited resources and when they sick the IRS, the Postal Inspectors and their own people on you... they find out all kinds of things and some you do not even know were problems.

What is particularly troubling about this for me is that I see how it could happen... to me. I am majority shareholder and running a company that is making (for lack of a better term) a shitload of money. Gobs of money.... unconscionable sums of money. While I might have some issues with how they made their money (profiting off of the U.S. war machine) the fact is they made it and a lot of shareholders got rich. When doing this and in this type of situation it would be very easy for me to go along and get along and add a little bit or a lot more to my compensation...expecially when i knew that there would not be any need to get particular shareholder or board approval of my increased compensation. I don’t know.
Be careful to judge this man

Book Review Number 6: Perfect From Now On

“Perfect From Now On”
John Sellers
Simon & Schuster224 Pages



Perfact From Now On (How Indie Rock Saved My Life) seemed like the ideal book for me. A self absorbed music lover discussing the impact of indie rock on his adolescent, college and (perhaps he at 36 has almost reached) post-adolescence. Unfortunately John Sellers cannot quite deliver the goods.

He does deliver some serious passion though and quite a bit of self revelation...some of it humiliating. He entails his fascination with bad pop music when he was finding hi mself. He confessed to prosituting his own musical tastes in favor of the hot girlfriend. these are all quality revelations that humanize him but unfortunatley for this Diner Reviewer undermine his credentials and his passion.

The books title grabbed me more then anything. “Perfect from Now On” is one of the VERY sweet albums by Built To Spill and they...with their jangly guitars and early Neil Young posings and musings made me fall in love with music all over again for about the hundredth time so...I love them and I figured he did too. I was right on one level. he does claim love of the band but only refers to them in passing with an apology that he did not wax poetic about them for 20 or so pages as he does for his other faves.

And therin lies the problem. The book lacks any kind of meaningful focus or pattern. it does not draw me in...it does not change my life. He spends way too long whining about his favorite bands from manchester england to which he makes a pilgrimage but even that is untlimately unsatisfying. He is not a bad writer however and he does say some interesting things such as "I required complex, pretty, inscrutable songs turned up very loud to help me avoid thinking that I didn't like myself very much." I like that.

But alas...it is not enough. When he starts to go on and on and on about rock drivelers...posers and mopey eyed sad boys like “Guided By Voices” and “My Bloody Valentine” it is VERY hard for daddy to keep paying attention. frankly I couldn’t and it made me angy he was wasting so many pages...so many words on these bands while ignoring bands like Built To Spill and any Alt-Country (my personal fascination), Nirvana, Black Flag, Sonic Youth,Husker Du; The Replacements and never discussing the homage owed to god... I mean Neil Young. I mean...the Cure is not a seminal band. they are intruiging but, they are not for example The Pixies. His fascination with Robert (Bob) Pollard is unhealthy and frankly boring.
He attempts to salvage the book and it’s alleged value with an appendix full of adolescent and pathetic lists and this...of course in my favorite part of the book and almost....almost make it worth buying. But not quite. Some examples... He lists 173 bands he neglected to mention but listed in the appendix to avoid angry letters. I like his top Nine Indie Labels:
1. Matador
2. SST
3. Creation Records
4. Merge
5. 4AD
6. Drag City
7. Sub Pop
8. Touch and Go
9. Homestead

The only reason Creation is in there is because of My Bloody Valentine. I would replace them with either Bloodshot (the best Alt-Country label) or Jagjaguwar (home of Okkervil River). he gives about 20 0ther lists here including Top 10 Indie Guitarists, Three Coolest Alt-Rock Drummers, Top 5 Most Disappointing albums...etc...etc.. All of these lists are great conversation starters for your standard indie rock snob but....well...there are only about 68 of us in the entire country so how interesting can that be for anyone else?

Great book premise. VERY average book. Only a msut read for an indie rock snob completest. non-essential at it’s core. 6 Slingers on a ten scale.

Diner Review VI: Uncle Wimpy's Diner

Uncle Wimpy’s Diner
7901 S. Broadway. South...way south Broadway!
Hours Mon-Fri 6-3, Saturday and Sunday 7-3



Uncle Wimpy’s is of course named after J. Wellington Wimpy, or just Wimpy, who was one of the characters in the long-running comic strip, Thimble Theater, and in the Popeye cartoons based upon the strip.They do not do his name justice for breakfast (primary diner meal) but perhaps we will go back to try lunch. The South Broadway portion of the St. Louis Diner Review tour has been interesting. That area of Broadway a few miles south of the brewery running straight along the river in between Highwat 55 and the river. It is an awful area in a lot of ways but there is a beauty to it. A lot of old buildings and many parts of it are only 20 yards or so from the river. The people who are regulars down there are working people...hard people and probably good people...but this diner will never know because...I come...I eat...I leave.

Uncle Wimpy’s has no windows. It is a great looking place inside with a sweet counter and a bunch of tables...four tops and two tops. Once again almost packed even at 6:45 on a Saturday morning. At every quality diner on Saturday morning there is one table of 4-6 men sitting and drinking coffee, normally one paper spread between them...loudly discussing the news...world politics, local politics, last nights drunk, the waitresses breasts, a shitty food and how the new guy can’t cook...it goes on and on and it is annoying and beautiful. The customers were the best thing about the place and it is worth a trip to just to sit with these people and listen...even over bad food.

Wimpy’s however was a pretty crappy place. My ice tea had been run through the coffee filter. When I brought it to the waitresses attention see seemed perplexed as to what to do. She finally...at my suggestion brought me a water. There were 4 waitresses “working” but they each spent long periods sitting at their own table and doing...nothing. Still it was a place with a lot of character. The sausage was lightly spiced...the toast was fine but the potatoes were the dreaded “American fries” and although I have NOTHING against America my feelings about these rouch cut potatoes is well documented.
The menu was befitting a crappy place. It was a white sheet with bad typing on as is pictured above. It is a tacky menu...a menu not to be left unmocked. A cheap menu wrapped in ill fitting cellophane. To be fair it is in an ill fitting cellophane sleeve. Still it has a certain tacky charm.

There are so many quality places to get breakfast. So much ambience. Places with good food, good service and quality people or even better characters but Wimpy’s fails on almost...well not almost...Wimpy’s fails on EVERY level. The food was average to bad, the service average to bad. The place as I said looks good. it is the right size, there is none of the annoying natural light to cut through the haze of cigarette smoke, it has lots of memorabilia on the wall...it could be a a VERY good place. But instead it is shitty. Three Slingers on a Ten scale. Next time we will go for lunch and buy a hamburger and I will see if I can get someone else to buy. I'd gladly pay you Tuesday for a hamburger today". Indeed. Words to live by.

***

An old book has been brought to my attention and as I sit here watching “Braveheart” again it occurs to me that I probably need to read his novel “Ble Highways”. Moon has allegedly expounded on a theory i am going to have to try which judges diners based on a “calendar” system which relies on the supposition that the more calendars that a place has hanging on the wall, the better a diner it is. In my recent trip to michigan I attempted to gather some documentation and to quantify this seemingly bizarre rating but in my trips to three quality establishments, the Portage Lake Diner, Hubbels Bait Shop and Diner and Captain Jacks. Sadly enough none of these establishments had more then one calendar hanging on the wall. I am going to start noting in the future the calendar count and where the calendar came from. The theory seems to be that a good diner will post any calendar that is handed to it and is a good sign of loyal local trade. So be aware...and beware. the Diner Reviewer has spoken.

ERATA

July 12, 2007....erata. So...this has been quite a haitus. What with job turmoil...high school camp up in Michigan and assimilating to a new job...the just has not been time. So, i caught up by putting out the Cracker review but there has been soooooo much going on so this is...a catch up. Lets go in some reverse order....
****
The Tour De France has begun. I am an unabashed fan. I do not care about doping, I do not care about Lance Armstrong...I just love the rest, the length and the sheer athleticism of the whole thing. I like coming home every evening and sitting in front of the TV with my laptop and watch the two hour recap of the days racing. It is an awesome spectacle. The time trial was Saturday and the worlds best time trial guy cancellera wins the prologue and did it easily and then on the first stage the indomitable Robby Mc Ewen came from the back of the field in the final few kilometers to win it. In all the stories about the Tour, Mc Ewen is one of the biggest stories. Winning flat stage after flat stage, riding hard for 40 or 60 miles and then blasting out the last half kilometer in explosive fashion to win the stage. Awesome.

But why am I so enamored with the Tour? I do not know. The Lance Armstrong years were big but I loved it before. I loved Bernard Hinault and some of the great Columbian riders...the king of the mountains, the furious sprints. Most of all I enjoy coming home, turning it on and surfing the internet as I watch the days race replayed. I will never be king of the mountains...but i can dream.
***
Wimbeldon happened. Yawn.
***
7-7-07. Only happens every millenium. No one won the pwerball. A shitload of people got married in Vegas. I did not gamble or do anything interesting. Such is the quality of my life. 4th of July was pleasant. Sat in Spoeneman’s pool and watched the Cardinals win a tough game. the Wednesday 4th of July celebration always ends up with more then a little dislocation which was exacerbated by the fact that it was my first week on the job. No one won the lottery on such a lucky day...who would of thunk it?
***
I am now at Hepler Broom. My third job in three years? Sooner or later you have to face up to the fact that maybe it is not the law firms that are screwed up. I have said for a while that Spencer Fane was the nicest group of smart people I ever worked with but... these guys might give them a run for their money. The firmn is based out of Edwardsville and Gordie and Larry have formed the best defense firm in that “judicial hell hole” (no one likes tohear it referred to that well) of Madison County. We have about 15 lawyers in St. Louis and it seems like a good bunch. Might be home for while...perhaps a good long while.
Regarding my departure from Wagenfeld Levine...I thank my friends for being my shrinks. it is amazing how something that should not be so traumatic...it is after all just a job...can be so traumatic. might be (probably is) because I am mentally weak but it is nightmarish how easy it seems to be to sweep my legs out from under me. it was an interesting ride at the firm. Some really interesting things. learned a lot but when it got weird, it really got weird and I disappointed myself because when it got weird...I did not turn pro. Right now it is all too fresh so....I say nothing more about that...other then good luck to the firm and everyone there. A lot of nice people.
***
Spent a week in Michigan doing the teen counselor thing (more on that later) and will be leaving the 15th for another week in michigan...this one just to lay around. laying around in Michigan is one of the finer things you can do with a week. The whether tends toward sublime, ratty old Lake Michigan sparkles blue like it thinks that it is the carribean. Whire beaches, hot days, cool nights. Good food, good people and oh..yeah...my family is there too. Hoping to read a little and write a lot. We will see.
***
Ultimate Fighting? Tapping out? I do not get anything about it. I mean, I do not get NASCAR but I really do not get Cage fighting and all this crap. This type of mindness violence packed in with a lot of men groping and laying and twisting on top of one another. makes a homophobe like myself VERY uncomfortable but... can someone explain this shit to me.
***
The President pardoned Scooter Libby. In a lot of ways I find it difficult to care. I mean people should kind of do what the President (or Vice President) says but...on the other hand...a jury convicted him of perjuring himself. That is...lying under oath. I would like to feel bad for the guy but... he was Dick Cheney’s bitch...and unless Cheney had something on him (which he probably did now that I think about it) Scooter came in voluntarily.
But what it really points out is... once again... our Vice President is as unpleasant, evil, mean spirited, petty, vindictive and paranoid as ANYONE who has ever held office inour country. I mean seriously...how has someone not whacked this guy already. there is no one he will not “GET” if he perceives ANY opposition. The Surgeon General spoke out this week regarding how the White House tried to muzzle his opinions which were not in line with the agenda and this is Cheney stuff. This guy does not comply with subpeonas...has invented it’s own new security classification... he...for God sakes...is keeping man size Mosler safes in his office to store documents he deems too sensitive to leave the room. The guy is the Vice President! It is not even a real job but i do not think anyone doubts that he is the boss.
Spent this weekend with my wife laying around in the pool both afternoons drinking beer. On Sunday had the Kukla’s and some of the family over. It was a good time. Nice pool, nice people
***
Some Summer Resolutions:
1. Schedule another Dive bar Tour (and make sure there are sober drivers)
2. Work Hard
3. Play Harder
4. Get disciplined about St. Louis Bar-B-Q
5. Schedule Chicago trip
6. Spend more weekend afternoons in the pool with friends and beer (not necisarily in that order)
That seems like enough.

Concert Review Number 7: The Old 97's At The Pageant

The Old 97’s rocked the Pageant on July 10th. They had not been to twon in couple of years but just to hear Rhett Miller sing you do not want to miss them. At this point you have no choice but to embrace the Pageant. With the closing of Mississippi Nights it is really all that is left in any kind of BIG room type environemnt. I mean the Duck Room and Off Boradway are great but... sometimes a band can only fit in the BIG ROOM.

It was a typical Pageant show....doors at 7, opener at 8, headliner at 9...well done by 11:00. It is not a bad formula and it is good for old people and it was an old person show. You can tell it is an old persons show when it is “all ages” and the only under 21 area is off to one wing and the floor in front of the band is over 21. Anyway...it was nice to be able to stand down on the floor with a beer. It was not a big show because they closed the balcony...I guess in order to make it more “intimate.” As I said the crowd was...old. A lot of people 25-45...trying to look and be hip and like me...failing. Still, it is nice to see several hundred people out to see a show.

The Drams opened up and Brent Best brought us the best of Denton Texas all the way up to St. Louis. Best and two of the Drams were in one of my favorite old bands Slobberbone but Best abandoned the bad name and a difficult sideman to form the Drams two years ago. They are good. he plays a mean Neil Young lead and gets plenty of noise and distortion without a lot of effects...just a nice intentionally sloppy style. he did throw one out for me though playing my favorite trailer muder ballad “I can tell your love is waning.” It made my night early. They played a very economical set of about 8 songs...and they were off.

Rhett Miller brought the Old 97’s out on time and Murray Hammond and Ken Bethea all were in good form. Bethea is a great guitarist for this band but his chops have not grown a lick in 10 years. I love the guy to death but... you got to grow. Murray sand a few of his songs and the play list was fairly predictable. the fact is that these guys have not done a lot in the last 5 years. Millers solo albums...first one good, second one...not so... have taken up most of his time and it does not lead for a lot of new music.

Still...I love em. I would pay to hear Rhett sing the phone book and when he came out with bandana across his forehead (which only increased the Johnny Depp look he works at) he made everyone melt. Barrier reff, Melt Show, Big Brown Eyes, Buick City Complex, West texas tear Drops, Mama Tried....on and on. Sweet short songs, great vocals, jangly guitar and a rock solid beat. But it begged the question, what have you done for me lately? The band's set list hasn't really changed that much since 2001. Even toward the end of the show, you could easily predict the final three songs. Would Rhett Miller and company end it with "Timebomb"? The suspense is killing me! Or not.

The set ended and for the first encore Rhett came out and did three solo songs. It was a nice break and he is a more then adequate guitarist and he sampled his two albums. He writes great hooks and has excellent pop instincts and i think everyone was left wanting a little more before the band joined up and finished it out strong. A little predictable...a little too pleasant...but, still...it was a great show and we saw a lot of friends there and it is a blessing to be able to go rock on a Tuesday night. Smiles for everyone and we will wait for the fall and see if they come out with a new CD and a new tour. They need some quality new material and I think they will deliver.

Concert Review Number 6: Cracker At Blueberry Hill

Cracker came into town and hit the Duck room on July 65 It was...a GREAT SHOW! Now a good showm not a nice show...a GREAT SHOW! The Duck Room, in the absence of Mississippi Nights has become the premier small venue in town. The site lines are good and you can almost always work your way up to the stage. I dragged myself to the show (being an old man) and went solo (having no friends) and was convinced I would not be able to hold up but for the 100th time was rewarded by the burst of ebergy that great live music can deliver.

Magnolia Summer opened up and they have developed into one, if not THE best St. Louis band. Chris Grabau their lead singer and milti instrumentalist has a clear voice and a clear vision. Grabau spent most of the show playing a nice Gretcsh semi sloid body that just had a sweet sound. Sometimes he delves too far into Jay Farrar with his singing but the songs stand up and so does he and the band. They can play and I highly reccomend checking them out. It was a tight 45 minute set.

But...everyone...and I mean EVERYONE was their to see Cracker. David Lowery remains the funniest man in rock and they took the stage fairly promptly at 10:00. Lowery along with Guitarist Johnny Hickman have been rocking since Camper Von Beethoven first broke up in the ealy 90’s. Camper was an eclectic mix of rock, world music and..well...Balkan Beat Box. I could never get into it but when Lowery hooked up with long time friend Johnny Hickman and his rock hero guitar chops, it all came together.The band's website once noted Cracker as "The only band to ever open for both The Grateful Dead and the Ramones," a unique distinction which is also indicative of the band's sound and style. Cracker comfortably mixes influences and sounds ranging from classic country music, psychedelia, punk and folk into their brand of "Americana" style rock.

Lowery looks like a freak with a professorial beard and half moon glasses in tight jeans with legs that look too tiny to even hold him up. He looks like he has MS but has faught it off so far. The crowd sheered wildly and was made up of 20, 30 and 40 somethings once again showing the bands broad appeal. Over the evening they played all their hits but the early part of the set was made up of “Euro Trash Girl”, “Take me down to the Infirmary”, “Teen Angst” and several songs from their latest studio CD “Greenland”. The great thing about a band like Cracker is that they can take an album like “Greenland” which you might not have loved upon it’s release but when they play the tunes live...the rock your socks off and you cannot believe you missed their brilliance on your first 10 listenings. Songs like “Gimme One More Chance” (sounds like T-Rex), “Everyone Gets One For Free” and “Where Have Those Dats Gone” all seem brialliant when you Lowery and Hickman rip through them live.
I am a Lowery fan and loved his work in Camper Von Beethoven and all the production work he has done with other bands. Lowery put together a little chary on his website www.crackersoul.com which give you some ideas of his roots and relations. Cracker came into town and hit the Duck room on July 65 It was...a GREAT SHOW! Now a good showm not a nice show...a GREAT SHOW! The Duck Room, in the absence of Mississippi Nights has become the premier small venue in town. The site lines are good and you can almost always work your way up to the stage. I dragged myself to the show (being an old man) and went solo (having no friends) and was convinced I would not be able to hold up but for the 100th time was rewarded by the burst of ebergy that great live music can deliver.

Magnolia Summer opened up and they have developed into one, if not THE best St. Louis band. Chris Grabau their lead singer and milti instrumentalist has a clear voice and a clear vision. Sometimes he delves too far into Jay Farrar with his singing but the songs stand up and so does he and the band. They can play and I highly reccomend checking them out. It was a tight 45 minute set.

But...everyone...and I mean EVERYONE was their to see Cracker. David Lowery remains the funniest man in rock and they took the stage fairly promptly at 10:00. Lowery along with Guitarist Johnny Hickman have been rocking since Camper Von Beethoven first broke up in the ealy 90’s. Camper was an eclectic mix of rock, world music and..well...Balkan Beat Box. I could never get into it but when Lowery hooked up with long time friend Johnny Hickman and his rock hero guitar chops, it all came together.The band's website once noted Cracker as "The only band to ever open for both The Grateful Dead and the Ramones," a unique distinction which is also indicative of the band's sound and style. Cracker comfortably mixes influences and sounds ranging from classic country music, psychedelia, punk and folk into their brand of "Americana" style rock.
Lowery looks like a freak with a professorial beard and half moon glasses in tight jeans with legs that look too tiny to even hold him up. He looks like he has MS but has faught it off so far. The crowd sheered wildly and was made up of 20, 30 and 40 somethings once again showing the bands broad appeal. Over the evening they played all their hits but the early part of the set was made up of “Euro Trash Girl”, “Take me down to the Infirmary”, “Teen Angst” and several songs from their latest studio CD “Greenland”. The great thing about a band like Cracker is that they can take an album like “Greenland” which you might not have loved upon it’s release but when they play the tunes live...the rock your socks off and you cannot believe you missed their brilliance on your first 10 listenings. Songs like “Gimme One More Chance” (sounds like T-Rex), “Everyone Gets One For Free” and “Where Have Those Dats Gone” all seem brialliant when you Lowery and Hickman rip through them live.
I am a Lowery fan and loved his work in Camper Von Beethoven and all the production work he has done with other bands. Lowery put together a little chary on his website www.crackersoul.com which give you some ideas of his roots and relations.

More overlooked is the brilliant Johnny Hickman. Hickman looks like a cross between Rick Springfireld (gone bad) and Shcneider the super in “One Day At A Time”. He rips it up and appearantly can play anything from 4-4 bar blues to country and disco and everything in between. He just plays so well and frankly has such a good time. The band over all was as tight as any I have seen lately. No set list, Lowery calling out the tunes as they go and the band ripping into each and every one. He...inspires me.
They played for almost two hours ending with favorites “Low” and “Seven Days” and frankly...tearing the house down. A two hour show in that sweaty little room is an accomplishment and these guys sweat and bleed it...everyday. So me....I went home tired..... and I went home happy.

More overlooked is the brilliant Johnny Hickman. Hickman looks like a cross between Rick Springfireld (gone bad) and Shcneider the super in “One Day At A Time”. He rips it up and appearantly can play anything from 4-4 bar blues to country and disco and everything in between. He just plays so well and frankly has such a good time. The band over all was as tight as any I have seen lately. No set list, Lowery calling out the tunes as they go and the band ripping into each and every one. He...inspires me.

They played for almost two hours ending with favorites “Low” and “Seven Days” and frankly...tearing the house down. A two hour show in that sweaty little room is an accomplishment and these guys sweat and bleed it...everyday. So me....I went home tired..... and I went home happy.