Soooo... evidently our winner is a non St. Louisian!  Evidently he is, at best, a postential significant other of the daughter a Principal of the Moneta group.  Evidently.  Congratulations to Mr. Perkins.  You chose brilliantly and boxed the rest of us out before even the final tip off.  I am not sure that has happened before.  Kudos from KUBE Management.  I am not sure, we fully publicsized this in the past but you MUST of course be in attendance at the party at The Depot on Monday in order to kollekt.  I don’t know your parents Charles but KUBE takes it’s obligations to teach all kontestants important life lessons and one of those is LIFES NOT FAIR!  The good news is that if Charles cannot make the final game party that the money will not go to the other Kontestants but will instead go to the Kukla-Becker Kraps and General Gambling Slush Fund.  See the lesson above.

It looks like a Winstroer is in the money.  Obviously we are all saddened by this.  On the other hand, at least it wasn’t Steven.  He paid late and under protest and durress and only when he was informed that he was likely in the money and would be shoved out if he didn’t pay.  

Shapiro who also might be in the money and is a prenial KUBE Kontestant... also late pay.

Henry Buemer faught a game fight but with his father making him chose Missouri he was doomed not to win but when you consider his winner went out in early, this is a pretty impressive selektion.  Henry is, I believe a first grader so when Perkins is thumping his chest he should remember that he beat a 7 year old who chose Missouri to go all the way and has a crush on my 20 year old daughter.

What can you say about the games?  Wichita State really was something and the Valley (still the conference that SLU should be in) represented powerfully.  Louisville could have folded but instead they defended and won the game of attrition.  Michigan similarly won with defense rather than through offensive brilliance and the final game looks to this guy to be a low scoring, bodies crunching in the paint, battle!  I can’t wait.

The party at The Depot this year is likely to be a star studded event.  Bill Klinton and Stephen Kolbert are both staying in town at Kukla’s request (Major Political Donor) and the entire Billiken basketball team will also be there as well as Brad Pitt and the late Charlie Spoonhour.  The menu looks like:

Kukla all day smoked pulled pork on sandwich or gluten free corn tortilla!

Kukla all day smoked and falling apart ribs!

Bauman’s Chicken wings (only 20 so come early)!

Chick Fil-Et Nuggets (not gluten free) hopefully brought by Kowert.

Krave Kase of White Kastles brought by Becker the Wrecker or his brother!

Some Beer

Some Gluten Free Beer

Some Bourbon being konsumed by me in the Korner.

AND MORE!

The event should not be missed!  Kukla’s Home Address is:

1030 Barberry Ln

Saint Louis, MO 63122-5100

Kuklas Social Security Number is:

394-46-9877

Kukla’s Bank Routing Number is:

32-55690-11

Kukla’s First Pet’s Name was:

“Bonkers”

I am only giving you all this information because hacking his bank account and stealing the money by way of bank, mail and wire fraud is the only way any of you will ever share in any of the riches of KUBE.  We stack up mountains of many every year in our kontinuing skam and I would proud to be part of it, but Don never shares with his partners.  At this point I am just pleased he has not, “settled all of the families business”.

I will see you Monday.  Congratulations Perkins!  Please send us a picture of yourself laying in a pile of money for us to post on web site next year.

KUBE KLASSIK: 10 Reasons To Not Enter The KUBE!

10 Good (or at least possibly acceptable) Reasons For Not Entering The KUBE:

1. You are my son Pat (which means you go to school in Lawrence Kansas and have no idea where the Allen Fieldhouse is or what a Jayhawk is or... well you get the idea.

2. You hate America.

3. You hate yourself, AND America and your busy on Facebook messaging Manti Te’o’s girlfriend.

4. You are a life long Kentucky fan and are currently watching them play a “really tough” Robert Morris team (you are suicidal).

5. You are busy with a Mah Jong tournament at out “the club”.

6. Your ACC numbers are down (because you are old enough to know what ACC numbers are).

7. You have a brief, pleading, motion, letter, or something due somewhere to someone that you believe is more important than entering your brackets in the KUBE.

8. You feel bad seeing yourself do so much better than the Mowen family.

9. You have no friends nor hope of ever having any friends (Kowert/Winstroer).

10. Your intolerant of gluten, lactose, fructose and perhaps.... people.

It is Tuesday Night. The play in games are already occurring. We are still not at 200 entries. I believe that we are ahead of last years pace but I will not tolerate slacking. If we do not reach 500 entries this year Glen Beck has told me that the progressives will WIN, with George Soros and then Bloomberg soda guy. We cannot have that. You need to enter the KUBE now. You need to enter for your children! You need to enter for your pets. You need to have a bracket for your children's pets. GRANDCHILDREN need brackets to fund (what will then be their million dollar, yet still useless college education)!

So let's get off our butts and log on to www.kubeklassik.com and enter 5 times tonight. Do it for yourself, do it for America, do it for the kids and grandkids you are screwing by allowing your country to run up un-payable debt to pay for all your entitlements.... but do it!

KUBEKLASSIK 13: ANARCHY BABY!

Sooooo....2013...Lucky 13?  For who?

March 3.  We are in the Month... the ides... and you know what that means?

KUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBE!

That is right. We are back!

You need to start thinking about your picks.  We are one week before Selektion Sunday and normally I would have entered my annual period of fasting and meditation in preparation.  In the past I have gone to an Ashram where under a vow of silence for a week I contemplate things.  Normally I contemplate the Wailing Oneness of God’s creation.  The beauty and perfection of mathematics as it relates to sports wagering.  It is a cleansing time.  Purification before the storm that inevitably arises from Selektion Sunday through the rest of the tournament. It is a ritual.  Normally I would advise everyone to find your personal safe place and get centered.  Make sure you get a great deal of sleep and please refrain from any alcohol or casual drug use doing this preparation period.

That would be normally.  But this year I have been diagnosed, just recently of various intolerance's.  To Lactose, Fructose and now... even worse... gluten.  The formal diagnosis comes next weekend, just in time for Selektion Sunday.  And this year for preparation for body and soul I have another plan.  I plan on spending a week of binging and decadence eating everything I know my body will reject.  Drinking gluten filled beer.  Eating gluten filled pasta.  Eating soft lactose filled cheeses and consuming all the processed food that I can.  I will record all of this on an APP called food diary and there is at least a reasonable chance that I will not survive but I am doing it for all of you... and for KUBE KLASSIK 2013.  For this years tournament is going to be one of...mayhem and ANARCHY!

I cannot pretend that KUBE Management was not shocked and pleased by last years pool.  409 Kontestants.  I was most pleased that my parents were both still alive to see this tremendous achievement.  Now lets focus on the big goal.  The final goal...500 Kontestants!  This is going to take a great deal of work and focused concentration.  Lets focus on our best performers:

Without Moneta Group, the KUBE is nothing.  Less than nothing.  By investing their client funds in this tremendous “investment” they always provide the bulk... the corpus if you will of the KUBE pool.  

But it is the little people that make KUBE great.  The Kontestants that trail in from Becker’s many, MANY jobs and MANY law firms.  I mean this kid has done his part.  If Becker were to put together in one firm all of hisentanglements the name of the firm would be, Shifrin, Treiman, Barken, Dempsey, Ulrich, Davis, Davis, Kasnetz, Greenberg, Barry, Helfrey,Simon, Jones, Spencer, Fane,Britt, Brown, Wagenefeld, Hepler, Broom, Waltrip AND Schmidt.  I would like to get all of those guys to play but several are dead.

Look at our other Kontributors:
1. The Kowert/Winstroer Clan
2. Servco and Greg Gates and his old girlfriend’s families and his college... :Associates”.
3. Becker the Wrecker and his Konnections
4. Former Camp Arkadia staffers... and their families.
5. Jon Becker’s limited Valpo konnections and out friends at Boomreactive.com and of   course oursister site, Bathtubtuna.com.
6. Kuklas family and high school friends especially his son Dan...the Sortswriter.
7. The Sievers and Associates clan (Saftey First!)
8. The good people of Zerman Mogerman
9. The Epic annual struggle between CBC, Vianey and the poor sister Lutheran South grads.
10. Some random Dierbergs (but we are hoping Ryan gathers some Fllridians as we have been weak in that state.  My nieces have been doing the right thing and marrying people who will be expected to carry their weight and bring in Kontestants.
11. Glendale Lutheran members and their youth and parents I have korrupted over the years.
12. Becker the Wrecker and his “people”.
13. Our friends and Korperate sponsors at Dierbergs, “Official Grocery Store” of KUBE (tm).
14. Kukla firends all over the Kountry.
15. Kukla relatives... from the extended Kukla Klan literally skattered all over the kountry; and
16. Becker friends from Dubai to Palau including the fabulous, globe trotting Todd King!

Today Valparaiso plays for Horizon League Championship after a spectacular buzzer beater last night with Wisconsin Green Bay http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/team/_/id/2674/valparaiso-crusaders.  It is March madness and anything can happen BABY.

ANARCHY!

Details to follow.