This KUBE is KLASSIK!

Sooooo… once again, despite all my Kvetching… it has been kwite a KUBE.  With the able assistance of 500 or so future NCAA Union Members it has been as exciting a March in recent memory.  The Dayton Flyers are this years version of Cinderella (we have suffered through some years where there was none).  Connecticut… I remember when it used to mean something to be a Huskie and perhaps it does again and Kentucky… Caliperi and his one and done Freshman finally woke up, started to play hard, gelled, and frankly looked pretty frightening when they beat a good Louisville team.  I am watching the Dayton Florida game and at the end of the firt half it would appear that Dayton just does not have the steam.  I am a long established Billy Donavan Hater, as opposed to the many Donovan haters come lately but this does look like an awfully fine team… on the other hand I would not want any of them dating my daughter.  Donavan looks to me like the product of what happens when two carreer Marine Seargants reproduce.  I don’t have anything against the Marines but I do not mean this in a complimentary way.  The Flyers on the other hand, have a lot less ink.

I am not even going to beat on the perople at the bottom of the standings.  Their shame should speak for itself… I mean, come on guys, my wife is at 87!  Let’s step it up next year.

Kwite a KUBE indeed!  Taking KASH out of the system and keeping many of you from shoving KASH at me or telling me to “kover” you has saved management a LOT of headakes and been a real winner and the website funktionality has been top knotch.  I do not know for sure but it seemed like standings were being automatikally updated as games ended rather than having to wait for The Donald or The Mangsquash to get them uploaded and that was an awesome addition.

I am assuming there will be a fabulous KUBE party at the Depot but have not confirmed that with our benevolent overlord.  Kepp tuned to this space.

As I said, Good KUBE!  The Left Coast Kukla kid (high functioning and mainstreamable were the descriptive terms the Kirkwood teachers used in parent teach konferences with his disappointed parents) but other than criticsizing this writer for his mainstream pick of Michigan (I guess he missed their abusive bitch slapping of a very good Michigan team) his writing has been klear, kogent, and dare I say it...funny.  Kudos Kukla… the mantle is passed.

The Who Was Wrong! The Kids Are Decidedly NOT Alright: KUBE 2014

Soooo…. it is that time again.  March brings with it the promise of Spring and pitchers and catchers have reported and we are well into Spring Training and only weeks away from Opening Day!  And I don’t care because today is SELECTION SUNDAY and that means that it is KUBE time again and there is joy in every child’s heart!... accept in the houses of the elderly Mr. Becker and his younger, yet still approaching AARP card compatriot, Mr. Kukla.
We have tried to be good fathers.  God knows we have tried (our wive’s are not so sure) We have attended children’s sporting events, gone to parent teacher conferences, assisted (somewhat ineffectually) with science projects and sent our kids to reasonably decent schools.  We decided several years ago to give our children the option of entering into our little enterprise of KUBE KORP.  Formed in the late 1980’s by my partner and myself KUBE Korp has been a leader in the St. Louis sporting and entertainment business involving Boxing, Poker, Golf, Gin Rummy… the list goes on and on.  We visited with some of the areas more prominent estate planning attorneys and they suggested some estate planning tools and getting the kids slowly transitioning into the business.  This has helped significantly in that young master Kukla was able to provide some cogent kommentary and young master Becker was involved in another enterprise that had something to do with the internets (tubes and wires) and this assisted our somewhat halting transition to the internet age.
So, you can imagine how we were taken aback when in January we received our 2 weeks notice and pink slips and KOBRA notifications from KUBE.  We were summarily fired by the blood of our blood, the flesh of our flesh and shown the door unceremoniously.  Pension? “ I don’t think so”, was the response from their attorneys… that right, their attorneys.  While we considered lawyering up we realized pretty quickly that this Crimean type Koup had been Karried off with military precision.  Passwords changed, accounts changed… like we never existed. I guess this is the way it goes in the digital age.  Thanks Obama.
So, I don’t know whether these Komments will see the light of day.  I am watching Michigan (GO BLUE!) get destroyed by Michigan State as the Field of 68 Solidifies.  My precious Billikens are limping into the Tournament and Mizzou and The Fighting Illini… not so much.  Wichita State wanders in unbeaten, unbowed and relatively untested.  That should be fun to watch but also to see whether Florida is “all that” or whether Louisville and their Whore of Babylon Coach are as good as they would like to tell the world.  Don’t forget about the late Jim Boeheim who has not yet died but has coaching Syracuse brilliantly since I graduated from College and who was dominant early in the year and stands ready for this test.  Personally I am conflicted as to whether I will pick Cal Poly or North Dakota State to go to the Final Four and I pray they are not in the same regional.  Why, because I am old school and that is just the way I roll.
Enjoy this years KUBE.  With the switch to Paypal only (even though you don’t have to have a Paypal account we are going to have a lot of old people who cannot figure out how to play.  That means you're going to have to reach out.  Even with the kids running it, this is still the biggest brackets for the biggest prize in the entire free world and it is time for the KUBE nation to gather again and dominate.  The best thing any of you can do to protest the takeover is to go out and recruit 5 new participants for the KUBE.  I beg you to do this and quoting one of the pathetic characters from the awful movie “Red Dawn”....”AVENGE ME!”

KUBEKLASSIK 13: ANARCHY BABY!

Sooooo....2013...Lucky 13?  For who?

March 3.  We are in the Month... the ides... and you know what that means?

KUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBEKUBE!

That is right. We are back!

You need to start thinking about your picks.  We are one week before Selektion Sunday and normally I would have entered my annual period of fasting and meditation in preparation.  In the past I have gone to an Ashram where under a vow of silence for a week I contemplate things.  Normally I contemplate the Wailing Oneness of God’s creation.  The beauty and perfection of mathematics as it relates to sports wagering.  It is a cleansing time.  Purification before the storm that inevitably arises from Selektion Sunday through the rest of the tournament. It is a ritual.  Normally I would advise everyone to find your personal safe place and get centered.  Make sure you get a great deal of sleep and please refrain from any alcohol or casual drug use doing this preparation period.

That would be normally.  But this year I have been diagnosed, just recently of various intolerance's.  To Lactose, Fructose and now... even worse... gluten.  The formal diagnosis comes next weekend, just in time for Selektion Sunday.  And this year for preparation for body and soul I have another plan.  I plan on spending a week of binging and decadence eating everything I know my body will reject.  Drinking gluten filled beer.  Eating gluten filled pasta.  Eating soft lactose filled cheeses and consuming all the processed food that I can.  I will record all of this on an APP called food diary and there is at least a reasonable chance that I will not survive but I am doing it for all of you... and for KUBE KLASSIK 2013.  For this years tournament is going to be one of...mayhem and ANARCHY!

I cannot pretend that KUBE Management was not shocked and pleased by last years pool.  409 Kontestants.  I was most pleased that my parents were both still alive to see this tremendous achievement.  Now lets focus on the big goal.  The final goal...500 Kontestants!  This is going to take a great deal of work and focused concentration.  Lets focus on our best performers:

Without Moneta Group, the KUBE is nothing.  Less than nothing.  By investing their client funds in this tremendous “investment” they always provide the bulk... the corpus if you will of the KUBE pool.  

But it is the little people that make KUBE great.  The Kontestants that trail in from Becker’s many, MANY jobs and MANY law firms.  I mean this kid has done his part.  If Becker were to put together in one firm all of hisentanglements the name of the firm would be, Shifrin, Treiman, Barken, Dempsey, Ulrich, Davis, Davis, Kasnetz, Greenberg, Barry, Helfrey,Simon, Jones, Spencer, Fane,Britt, Brown, Wagenefeld, Hepler, Broom, Waltrip AND Schmidt.  I would like to get all of those guys to play but several are dead.

Look at our other Kontributors:
1. The Kowert/Winstroer Clan
2. Servco and Greg Gates and his old girlfriend’s families and his college... :Associates”.
3. Becker the Wrecker and his Konnections
4. Former Camp Arkadia staffers... and their families.
5. Jon Becker’s limited Valpo konnections and out friends at Boomreactive.com and of   course oursister site, Bathtubtuna.com.
6. Kuklas family and high school friends especially his son Dan...the Sortswriter.
7. The Sievers and Associates clan (Saftey First!)
8. The good people of Zerman Mogerman
9. The Epic annual struggle between CBC, Vianey and the poor sister Lutheran South grads.
10. Some random Dierbergs (but we are hoping Ryan gathers some Fllridians as we have been weak in that state.  My nieces have been doing the right thing and marrying people who will be expected to carry their weight and bring in Kontestants.
11. Glendale Lutheran members and their youth and parents I have korrupted over the years.
12. Becker the Wrecker and his “people”.
13. Our friends and Korperate sponsors at Dierbergs, “Official Grocery Store” of KUBE (tm).
14. Kukla firends all over the Kountry.
15. Kukla relatives... from the extended Kukla Klan literally skattered all over the kountry; and
16. Becker friends from Dubai to Palau including the fabulous, globe trotting Todd King!

Today Valparaiso plays for Horizon League Championship after a spectacular buzzer beater last night with Wisconsin Green Bay http://espn.go.com/mens-college-basketball/team/_/id/2674/valparaiso-crusaders.  It is March madness and anything can happen BABY.

ANARCHY!

Details to follow.

Taking A Break From Hockey....

Soooooo.... what is up with the Kukla Kid? He lives in the desert. I attach for your review a map of the Division I Ice Hockey Programs in the US. The closest is about 578 miles from where young Kukla lives. http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/gutcheck/2010/03/fish_fry_frenzy_week_5_our_lady_of_guadalupe.php
I mean.... what is wrong with this kid? Posting about hockey suggests at best a chemical imbalance in the brain and at worst a "drug problem". Testing is in order. It is March Madness and as such.... back to basketbalL.

HATE THE JAYHAWK! DON'T HATE THE GAME!

Obviously scandal has rocked the KUBE Nation with new webmaster extraordinaire, Jon Becker, suddenly, out of nowhere taking the lead with his "Random" bracket. While I do not mean to be coarse (it is so unlike me), random my ass! The kid is a cheater from a family of cheaters and whomever put someone like Jon in charge should likely be shot...or worse. The kid is bad news and though he does not obsess over college ice hockey, this attempt at stealing the KUBE might be worse. KUBE has taken 1/2 of the prize money and hired the accounting firm of KPMG to conduct a komprehensive audit. We will get to the bottom of this.

After today's games we will know our Final Four. Right now we have Louisville, and the HATED, Ohio State University. I am going to start telling people I graduated from THE Texas Christian University and was summarily removed from THE Valparaiso University. We will see who or whom is delivered to us today to round out the Kontest. Kentucky and North Karolina remain the only two 1 seed still alive.

Now a quick review of the standings. Observations:
1. Jon Becker being in the lead makes me question the existence of a just and loving God.
2. Jay Vance? In Second? Jay has been playing the KUBE from Omaha for years but we were considering developing a "special" brakket for kids like Jay who have, through their KUBE picks shown themselves to be.... somewhat impaired.
3. We have already kommented on Max Shapiro and absent an apocalypse the kid looks done, having pick Syracuse, but he fought the good fight and he likely needs to fly to norther New York and question some registrars about how you manage to not keep one of the best athletes in the nation academically eligible. How does that happen?
4. I am very concerned about Zac Hahn. I do not know him but for lack of a better term he is currently lurking in 8th with Ohio HATED State.
5. If Baylor comes up big lookout fro Afghan Diplomacy rocketing up from 80th place.
6. No one has Louisville that I could find in a quick scan of brakkets.

I just watched Kentucky shred poor Baylor. So much for Afghan Diplomacy. lets see what the KU Game has to offer. We still hate the Jayhawks.

LONG SHOT AWARD WINNER ANNOUNCED!

There has been a lot of talk about the Long Shot Award this year. Maybe too much talk. The Long Shot Award Winner for the KUBE 2012 is MAX Shaprio! We do not, however know how much he has won because (and this is a shocker) Kukla is on vacation on Arizona and the cash and Pay Pal money is mysteriously with him and he needs some time to "reconcile" the accounts. In regard to Max as i said earlier he is a long tim player of the KUBE but based on his facebook pictures KUBE will once again be in instituting random drug tests for participants. I am NOT saying that Max is doping. It would belittle the kontest to do so but as St. Ronald told us in regard to the Russians...."trust, but verify". Sage advice indeed.

I don't know where Dan Kukla's observations have been lately. There was some discussion of his donning some animal fur and grabbing some honey and wandering in the desert for a while when he heard of the North carolina injury. We need you back Dan! I can blather but people have come to expect...kontent...without typos.

I am working with KUBE Management and our Phoenix office as well as our web partner BOOMREACTIVE.com (go there now) in order to publish a dead beat list. Kukla was careful to advise that "Max has paid". That makes him different than a lot of you mokes. My plans are as follows:
1. Publish a list of late payees.
2. Call your parents (if living, use a Quija Board if not) and advise that their child is a deadbeat.
3. Go to your kids school and heckle them regarding your failure to pay.
4. Report you to the credit reporting agencies.
5. Destroy your life.
Get your money in people. No time like the present.

Congratulations MAX!

NCAA Sunday Knight Knews & Knotes

Sooooooooo....Sunday night. I have had some bad Sunday nights in March. returning from Vegas after the first few days. Feeling broke. being broke. Brackets broke. Heart...broke. So I am reasonable comfortable with March Madness Desolation Effect (MMDE) though it has hit me pretty hard this year. MMDE is an insidious disease with no known cure. It manifests itself with depression and exhaustion and a general loss of a will to live. For many who play the KUBE Brackets, sadly these symptoms cannot be distinguished from your every day life but many (several) of the 400 plus KUBE players are reasonable high functioning, non-drooling, in school or have jobs and (arguably) productive members of society. For them seeing their brackets burn (and I just finally did actually burn mine) is devastating.

For me this year has been a very difficult one and today particularly cruel. The initial Mizzou loss was a disaster but it was cleaned up for me by Duke and Notre Dame losing coupled with a Billiken win. I thought I had something going perhaps with Vandy and the future while not being bright was at least not a the relentless, vast wasteland of turnovers, airballs and the steady, inexorable advance of the hated number 1 seeds. This situation not being bad enough it is exacerbated by the asinine, insufferable and unjustifiable Miller 64 commercials. I would rather watch Charlie Sheen hit 3 pointers all day long for Ohio State and I hate Charlie Sheen and hate Ohio State.

When I woke up this morning my 5 brackets (three wantonbeckers, a big boy and one for mom (Doris Mae though I misspelled her name) were merely a disaster. My average on those 5... wait for it...298! My wife was in at 217 and my daughter, though she picked Mizzou was at 10. But, I thought, perhaps today would be better....NOT! not a lot of upsets. I guess I am heartened for Ohio since they are not Ohio State. My Billiken loss was really crushing and to see Majerus rearing up was a little bit of a nightmare. Not sure how much more I can stand this evening.

My advice for you, my fellow KUBITES is to make sure you are not alone. Dring a few solid glasses of bourbon. Soak in a hot tub. If you have any weed you definitely need to smoke it. Grab Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged", use it to balance the wobbly table in the kitchen, and go to bed.

I will leave you with an excerpt from Bernie who quoted a teary Conklin (very hard to watch): "Coach has done so much," Conklin said. "Being his first recruiting class, he told me that we were going to help him build something special here. And it felt like this year it really came together. We were able to take what Coach taught us.
"He’s a great coach. I couldn’t imagine playing for a better coach, a better person. He doesn’t just teach you about basketball; it’s about life. And he’s a great figure for the community and for the city, and he’s really brought St. Louis basketball to where it is right now, bringing in great guys.
"We all love each other in that locker room. And he just knows how to read a person and he brings us all together and we buy into his system because it works, and it brought us this far this year. And you know they’ve got a great nucleus coming back next year and they’re going to be a really tough team."


Read more: http://www.stltoday.com/miklasz-billikens-make-majerus-proud/article_2fcf3fd2-715e-11e1-b339-001a4bcf6878.html#ixzz1pWTaPIlA

The King Of Karlsbad!

By Dan Kukla

So there’s this girl.

At work. Her desk is just two down from mine.

I can’t stop thinking about her.

Last year she picked Connecticut as her March Madness champion and won every pool she was in. A girl like that is a rare find so this year I finally worked up the courage to ask her out to the KUBE. She accepted… via facebook. Man I’m smooth.

Now she’s got Indiana all the way. I must admit holding in laughter when I saw that pick. A team that relies completely on the fickle art of three-point shooting? That can only win at home? That hasn’t made the Sweet 16 in a decade?

To win it all?

Now she’s tied for 43rd after Day 3 while my brackets are busy leading the bottom half of the pool. Who’s laughing now?

But this is why I can’t stop thinking about her. I must know her secret. How does she come up with these dark horse champions?

“I just go with my heart,” she says. Done: Homer Derby checking in at 284. That clearly can’t be the full explanation. Or maybe I just need a new heart.

When Matlin Smith told me about picking Indiana as her champion I remembered what happened last year and went back to see if I should change my thinking on the Hoosiers. I just didn’t see it. In fact, I didn’t even see them making it out of the first weekend. I loved both VCU and Wichita state as Sweet 16 picks and all “just going with my heart” aside, I legitimately thought New Mexico State would pull off the upset over Indiana anyway.

THEY DON’T WIN AWAY FROM ASSEMBLY HALL! THEY ONLY SHOOT 3’s! It screams of an obvious early exit, especially when paired with three beautiful Cinderellas.

So Matlin’s UConn pick in 2011 was discarded as fluke luck and I moved forward with my much wiser selections.

As the only KUBE entrant with Indiana on the final line and now a strong point base to build from, just an appearance in the championship (and maybe even just a Final 4 run) from the No. 4 seeded Hoosiers will put her in contention. If Indiana wins it all she is virtually guaranteed to do the same.

Let’s be clear. This is not your average girl that wins pools by selecting her favorite color schemes, mascots and shopping towns when filling out a bracket. Matlin actually watches basketball and picks teams she thinks will win.

Saturday she told me she wakes up every morning thinking about her pick Indiana. Who are they playing? Will they win? How much money will I steal from all these losers this year? (OK, I made that last one up).

While the Hoosiers were busy pulling off a Houdini act against VCU to prevent another “Shaka,” Matlin told me that she is not allowed to watch because it makes her teams lose. She finished her work and promptly rushed out of the office right after Indiana took a late lead and right before they later snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.

Really? VCU misses two free throws that would have put them up 5 with a minute left? Indiana converts a three-point play at the other end to tie and then wins after a blocked shot bounces right to an open Hoosier on the baseline – a player who then made his only shot of the second half? VCU misses an open 3 at the buzzer?

What kind of black magic is this? Matlin not only has superstitions but they actually work! Told you this lady is a rare find.

After giving this some serious thought, her success can only be attributed to one thing: her company’s superior sports department. The Current-Argus is clearly where she gets all her sports information and this has to be her edge. No else picked Indiana so she must have come up with the Hoosiers as her champion by reading a publication no one else reads – or at least respects.

As such, Matlin Smith’s entry will from now on be referred to as the Current-Argus entry. Any and all winnings will be shared accordingly.

Go Hoosiers!

I Am Really Starting To Hate This Kid

By Dan Kukla

I told you sooooooooooooooooooooooooo...

Yes, even you Becker.

We just needed one giant to fall to bust this thing wide open. Unfortunately that one happened to be our beloved Mizzou but the resulting mayhem was sure worth it.

Down goes Duke, giving us the first tournament with two 2s out in the Round of 64 (never to be referred to as the second round). Down goes Michigan, giving us the first tournament with three teams seeded 13+ with wins on the same day. Down goes all of our brackets.

Wow, Missouri really does love company (ducking to avoid projectiles being hurled at my head).

Come on. Don't let that grumpy old man running this blog fool you. Missouri's loss restored order by creating complete disorder. While there's no evidence that any one game in the tournament affects outcomes in any others, it sure did feel that way Friday. Shortly after sulking off to work following that Missour-able loss (OK, I'll stop) I was treated to leftover pizza while I clicked back and forth between a trio of upsets. Puke was busy choking hard against Le High (oh, wait, that was a college team?) while St. Louis made us all proud by knocking off Memphis. As Ohio represented my MAC well with an upset of Michigan, I just couldn't click fast enough to keep up with it all.

Ah yes, the Madeness was back. Leftover pizza and flipping through upsets of evils is what makes this time of year pure bliss. It's what I craved (dreamed is probably more accurate... considering my slumberous state) all day Thursday and Friday morning.

And wouldn't you know, my brackets actually aren't all that tarnished afterall... if you look at them from the right angle in the right lighting. My "Axis of Evil" picks are still perfect in the East region. I have only once picked a perfect region all the way to Final 4 so I can at least continue to pull for that. My coin toss still has its entire Final 4 alive and correctly picked Ohio, Lehigh and Norfolk State while shooting exactly 50% in the first round. As for my "Homer Derby" well at least I didn't yet have to scratch off SLU or New Mexico. Who knows, if the Lobos run to the Elite 8 and the Billikens knock of Izzo just maybe that will earn enough points to put me back in the mix.

If you can't get enough of this glass-half-overflowing outlook on life I encourage you once again to check out my beautiful bride's new blog: www.meg4christ33.blogspot.com. If you're one of Becker's ogre-ish types, well then maybe you need a click on that link more than anyone else.

Go Lobos! Go SLU! Down with "that" Ohio State and Kansas!

Enjoy the last two days of the first weekend. There's nothing else like it.

Well, that's just the facts.

(PS I appologize for the many errors in my last post. I suspect corruption at the top behind this as sabotage in this point/counter point format that I was completely unaware of but I'll just blame my still fragile frame of mind after a devastating loss. It's the only possible explination for why I would blindy send work into a Becker, expecting someone to be responsible at the other end).

First Round Analysis: Kube-Ku

Dave Kowert 412
Jon Becker 411
Music to my ears

Kube-KU

Bracketology
Billikens win, Tigers lose
On to Saturday

Please submit your Kube-Kus to wantonbecker@mac.com

***
Soooooo....that was quite day. Two epic upsets within three hours. The heart of the nation in fly over country shattered and the basketball elites of Carolina humbled. But enough of the bad. These bracket busters are personal but have no effect on the over all standings of this fine kontest. No one, in the nearly six thousand people playing the KUBE this year had Mizzou losing and only one person had Lehigh winning. Her name escapes me and we will have to give her props later but with the mentally ill that can be enabling so we need to be careful.

Lets not focus on the bad. Our beautiful St. Louis University Billikens (they are of course a Catholic Institution, "Our Lady of the Elegant Mascot) won. They won a pretty solid match up against a physically superior Memphis squad. I had one eye witness at the Columbus Arena who said the first half was "boring" but that is because the Billikens have the 8th best defense in the Country. You have to love Rich Majerus. He recruited kids he could coach and has coached them to play great team basketball. I don't kid myself that they can knock off a powerhouse like Michigan State. I am sure Lehigh and Norfolk State didn't kid themselves either. Sometimes hard work and good coaching win the day. We will see. One thing we did see was that Mizzou's Haith was not ready for prime time. Deer in the headlights. No answers when faced with the puzzle of phyicality, rebounding and suddenly poor shot selection. Next year will be a real test. Fortunately it will be in that new patsy conference.

Notre Dame lost. Happy.

Temple lost. Sad. I wanted to pull out John Cheney's ghost though I am hoping he is still alive.

I need a Boheim stumble and a Vandy surge. On to Saturday!

get those haikus in now!

The Sage of The Desert

I don't like these posts. They lack typos, lack spelling errors and have content. We turn over the KUBE pages to the Voice from The Kavern, the King of Karlsbad...Dan Kukla:

By Dan Kukla
Wake me up when something happens.
I hate saying this about my favorite sporting event but Day 1 was, in a word, one big fat giant yawn. I literally fell asleep while watch games Thursday.

Now six games into Friday and Day 2 doesn’t look like it will be much better.
Where are the upsets? Where are the buzzer beaters? The comebacks, the collapses, the players with funny names and faces making shots you don’t even practice in horse?
WHERE IS THE MADNESS?

You see, I have this system. I don’t touch my brackets for an entire day once they come out. Selection Sunday is reserved for watching Dicky V scream about all the No. 1 seeds he is picking to win and Jay Billas yell about how much more terrible this year’s field is than any other. It’s for watching Bracketology and just taking it all in, getting familiar with the draw, scouting the lay of the land.

Monday is research day. What style does each team play? Who’s hot? Who’s not? Who’s just cute like an animal shelter puppy you like playing with but would never actually take home?

Then comes recycling day. I usually make three trips to the printer on Tuesday, each time picking up around eight fresh brackets to destroy. I start feeling out just how far Cinderella is willing to go.

Wednesday I panic. None of my brackets are anywhere near completion so I just fall back on the basics: pick a champion, pick a Final Four, pick 8-10 first round upsets and blindly fill in the rest while making sure Duke, Kansas and Ohio State lose as early as possible.

Did you catch that? 8-10 upsets. As in way more than two on Day 1 and way more than three by 4:30 p.m. EST on Day 2.
We can’t even get cheap 9 over 8 upsets this year. And it’s not like VCU, Colorado and NC State were really upsets at all. I never saw any lines but it would not surprise me one bit if all three of our so-called Cinderellas were actually favorites.
It would be at least tolerable if we could get some good games but no, just blow out after blow out. Watching Syracuse, Jim Boeheim and his way-too-young-for-him wife sweat it out against UNC Ashville was fun. The Lobos tried their hardest to lose early again. Colorado remembered it now plays in the Pac-12 just a little too late and Cincinnati almost went back to putting the UC in suck after messing with Texas. But those results are usually our average to boring games at this point, not the best.
Right now the Bonnies have a five-point second half lead over Florida State. I’m willing to sacrifice one of my Final 4 teams for a true upset and hopefully a kick start to the tournament as a whole. UNC and Mizzou are both nearing tip time though so maybe I should be careful what I wish for.

I don’t care if my selection system is more flawed then the teams I end up picking. For me all that over analyzing is what makes the week fun. Then the games start and finding out that I picked all the wrong upsets is what makes the tournament fun. Why? Because that means there are upsets. All these chalky blow outs just ruins everything.

I’ll stay awake for this next set of games while two of my rooting interests compete but then it’s back to sleep. Well, actually work. Then sleep. Then then the NCAA Hockey tournament next week for some real March Madness.

Please let me be watching actual sports this Sunday instead of another selection show. I’m sounding the alarm on this tournament. Lehigh, Detroit, Ohio (yes, Miami’s arch rival Ohio; that is how desperate things are)… heck even you too St. Louis as a 9… I’m looking at you to open the blinds, tear off the covers and get this March moving.
Don’t let Duke, Kansas and Michigan hit the snooze.

Brakket Knotes Friday Morning Edition!

Looking at the KUBE Stats this desolate but balmy Friday morning in the Lou, one is filled with a sense of awe (in my case aw shit). My best bracket is currently tied for 123rd and my worst weighs in at 399...barely on the board at all. Every year at this time I kick myself for not having advertised an option to have yourself removed from the kontestant list for an additional 10 bucks. In my case, right now, money well spent.

As the KUBE has grown to it’s kurrent unsustainable size we have ended up with people KUBE management is either totally unfamiliar with or because of alzheimers, booze and drugs we have forgotten who (or whom) they are. Such is the case with our initial standings (after one day). Brooke Sanders or Sanders Brooke as we know her is in the lead tied with Kristopher (with a k, perfect) Eubanks. If you are in the lead after Friday please submit full biographical sketch and advise as to how you entered the KUBE, divined your picks and... tell us if you were a tree, what kind of tree you would be.

The first familiar name to this writer is Andi Emke in at 6. For some reason she did NOT pick Missouri to win it all. Wait till I tell her father of this betrayal. Jane Heine (the brains behind a couple of guys at Moneta) along with Tom (the old one) O Meara represent for our favorite planning empire. For all I know there are several more on the list but since the restraining order Don got against me I am not longer allowed within 500 yards of the building. Awkward. A lot of people question exactly why that happened but there was an incident on Don’s balcony with... well let’s just...mistakes were made.

Celebrity Catholic and sometimes Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum came in at 31. Good job Ricky!

Henry the Cat in at 22.

The formerly big deal “Blue Horshoe” only entered once this year and is currently punished at 105th place.

The Kissam Family... perenial contenders are well represented in the top 100. Not so much for Papa Luke...limping in at 137.

Kube Kommentator extraordinaire...Dan Kukla komes in at 175 on day one proving that there is not always a lot to be said for a prophet in the desert.

Afghani Diplomaci at 234 (yes that will work out)

In the cat fight of the century the KUBE wives are going head to head for the first time with Sandy Becker tied at 245 and Maria...stomping her currently at 65th place.

Former Champ Adam Reed at 73. Long way home from there.

In a surprise from the grave the late Lowell George of the Band Little Feat is at 253!

And finally...tied for last...Winstroer (the family that coined the phrases “I don’t mid if I do” and the klassik, “Sure I will have another” and Laura (yes I married poorly and yes DON IS OUT OF TOWN AGAIN!) Hessel.

This is quite a group and it was a heck of a first day with top seeds holding up in 14 of the 16 games. More today. If there is anyone you would like us to pick on...please advise by emailing wantobecker@mac.com.

Selektion Sunday!

Soooooooeeeeeeeelection Suuuuuuuunnnndayyyyyyyy!

Not that I am excited. My first bracket entry hit the web site and I got the confirming email and it feel like Kristmas! Here is a cheklist for good Kubies!
1. Go to Facebook and find the KUBE home page.
2. Add 100 of your friends.
3. Go to your Twitter account and follow Kubeklassik.
4. Enter at least twice
5. Get everyone in your office to play.
6. Get everyone in your family to play.
7. Open a Pay Pal account if you do not have one already to make payment easier.
8. Go to the Boomreactive.com site and learn what they can do for your web presence and social media marketing!
Do it now!

It really does look like a great tournament this year. Other than all my favorite teams get lumped into the Western Region. Some of the games are in Columbus, that is kind of west...west of Cleveland anyway. As always when I did my brackets I ended up with 1 and 2 seeds in the final 4. I always disappoint me which gives me a feeling similar to how everyone else must feel when they deal with me.

Go Vandy!

But seriously. I want to blow the KUBE up this year. I am hoping to have Komments from Dan Kukla starting as soon as possible. Dan can actually write. He can spell, conjugate verbs. and what not. Jon Becker is handling the uploading and downloading and all web related promulgations on our SWEET new website. It will be even more serious if we can crush that 500 entry threshold at which time we likely need to get listed on the NYC. All entries are getting invested in lottery tickets but there has been some talk of KUBEWAY! A multi level marketing opportunity (scam) in which we can have tiers and trails and mailbox money coming in and you can create a second income and work from HOME! More on that later.

In the mean time...enter early and enter often! Look out for Norfolk State!

Join the stupid, love the stupid, be the stupid.

KUBE, Stupid People Doing Stupid Things...for a long time!

Selection Friday

Sooooo.... it is Friday before Selection Sunday and KUBE MADNESS! Much craziness. I am sitting at home with my daughter on Friday night and instead of watching basketball I am watching “The Help”. I am missing action and I am probably missing some key insights into the goings on in the Big Ten, SEC, Big 12 and what not. Perhaps after the movie I can catch a little Pac 10 or 12 or whatever they are now. It is so rare that they really matter out there west of Lawrence.

Of course it is exciting to have Mizzou and SLU in the mix this year. SLU was handling La Salle when I got out of my car but not having Charter I do not even have the option to watch. I am bitter. On the other hand I am learning from watching “The Help” that I is smart, I is kind and I is important. I am not sure exactly how that relates but perhaps I will pull it together later. I was very excited yesterday when one Carence J. Molgerman...of the Troy Missouri Molgerman clan became the first to turn in his money. I had our webmaster, Jon Becker of Boomreactive.com immediately put a picture of it on the web. Molgerman unfortunately had to flee the jurisdiction and will be “wintering” in El Salvador but says he will be making his picks by way of the internets. I have no confidence that they have that there and KUBE is looking for someone who can decipher his entries in Spanish... “El Syracuso?”

So you have lots of options to get money to the KUBE and to make our goal of 500 entries this year. We are looking to see if we can get Kukla and Becker arrested as racketeers. It will require a buzz to be generated by the KUBE faithful. I am looking for a lot of hard work. We need more than the normal mix of financial advisers, bankers, lawyers, malcontents, serial killers, Democrats and what not. I would like some respectable people playing this year. Republicans, kickboxers, illegal immigrants and perhaps even some legal immigrants.

It is predicted the Atlantic 10 will have 3 teams in which will mean the idiot who argued with me at a Super Bowl party and told me “you know nothing about college basketball” might be right. That will be galling. I plan on winning this year. Last years winner Adam Reed is in prison due to numerous traffic violations so unless he can find a “mule” to sneak his entries out, we should not have to worry about him. We are looking at the regular cast of losers from Blue Horshoe (TM)
and I would like to see a resurgance of Dogs and we are considering opening up a CAT BRACKET for Kukla’s Cat Ozzie and Henry David Thoreau who currently lives with one Lydia Schaftenaar.

In any case. Tomorrow conference games look action packed. KUBE will be on it. See if you can do some stupid things all on your own in preparation. If you are reading this we have high confidence in you.

Tressel, Trazell, Travell, Trome....time for this coach to go home.

Sooooo... it is well documented that I hate Ohio State. Along with Notre Dame they make up the make up the big two of arrogant, self righteous, mighty, we win because God wants us to win and it is the natural order programs in the NCAA. I know a lot of people at very successful NCAA schools. Nebraska, Oklahoma, Texas (formerly Michigan and Michigan State had some claim), Florida, Alabama... you get the idea. Storied programs. But their students never seem dumbfounded when they lose. They are never anticipating that the next National Championship is anything but a year away. They believe it. Every year is THEIR year. But people conspire against them. The refs, the NCAA, cheating coaches for other programs. Everyone is OUT TO GET THEM when you are in the OSU/ND mindset.

Granted ND has kicked themselves around and I really do feel for them because who what talented minority kid would go to a white, conservative, small, academically rigorous school in the armpit of America known as northern Indiana. But OSU? 7 National Championships but you would think from talking to their grads that the last one was just last year. Instead it was 2002. They did have great teams, year after year but in the last 9.... they never took it home. Tressel despite some problems at his last job appeared to be a paragon of virtue. 106-22 is... touched by God (even I see a touch of the design in that kind of a mark) but with their coaches and their players, all of these alumni put these people on a pedestal forgetting that they are just... people.

People make mistakes. Tressel made a mistake. I do not even want to guess or analyze why but the pressure to win in college athletics is relentless and shepherding over even the BEST intentioned 18-22 year olds is a suckers bet. I am sad for the fans but perhaps if everyone put college athletics in its proper place there would be a number of things that might happen:
1. Amateur sports could be just that.
2. Coaches in these programs would not be paid more than the governor or the President of the University. In almost every State the coach of the football team is the highest paid employee in the State. I don’t mean to be coarse, but how fucked up is that?
3. The NFL could start running a minor league as well as the NBA, rather than having it done for them.

In any case, this does suck. The asshole Pete Carroll cheats and cheats and materially damages his school and arguably a lot of kids and jumps to the NFL so his gravy train does not stop. I think, I hope Tressel is classy for that. If he loves the game he will keep coaching somewhere but perhaps it will not be all about the money, the power, the glory... maybe it will be about teaching kids the glory of the game and competition and learning sometimes through losing.

Blah, blah, blah...R.I.P. Jim Tressel.

KUBE KNOTES: Final Four MAYHEM!

Holy &*%$#%%@!*&% Batman! What a tournament! What a Final Four.

Kentucky (Blue Blood) They have not been here since Tubby Smith was coaching.
Connecticut (Blue Blood)
Butler (Up and Coming) Back to back appearances. Really?
VCU (Upstarts)

What a great group we have here and most importantly, no matter what we have a mid-major in the finals, NO MATTER WHAT! How is awesome is that? Butler, the pride of the much vaunted "Horizon League". Do you not think that there was a bunch of Marketing Geniuses in Indianapolis who met in 2006 and said "Midwestern City Conference" is no good...lets spiff it up and call it something cool...THE HORIZON LEAGUE! Brilliant. Anyway, Butler has totally kicked ass and has actually looked like the best team in most of the games. VCU on the other hand is from that perennial backetball powerhouse conference...The Colonial Athletic Conference. While Butler may have the class of a Valparaiso the Colonial (Formerly ECAC South) has Towson State! Awesome.

OK...we get 4 inches of snow on Saturday and i walk in to my little office building and seeing this.



I think that is really messed up. Anyway, KUKLA will be posting the final combinations later this evening. Some great people made it and exited from the top 10. It will be interesting to see who divined the this unlikeliest of kombinations. This has really been a party.

KUBE KARNAGE! The Elite 8: Tearing Up The Floor!

Soooooo...BEST TOURNAMENT EVER?!?!? That would be my opinion. My brackets...SLAUGHTERED like the OU Buck Eyes! Now that both OU and Notre Dame are out of the tournament I can rest easy but lets look at who is left.

Kansas (The only 1 seed remaining in the ELITE 8. Has that EVER happened before?)
Butler (Cinderella trying to come back to the ball after midnight. This is what makes the tournament so awesome.)
Kentucky (Perennial kontender who did the dirty on the hated Ohio State. Go Cats!)
Arizona (Ridded tournament of hated and smug Dukies. Kudos to these Kats as well.)
UNC (Bitch slapped Marquette.)
U-Conn (The real Beast of the East) and the last of the 11 unjustifiable Big East selections).
Florida (Got rid of the Jimmer.)
VCU (Can an Elite 8 have a VCU AND a Butler? Apparently so.)

I am cheering for a final 4 of Kentucky, Butler, VCU and U-Conn. Because it will make me smile. So much for my early, genius wisdom that KU, Duke and OU were so far and away the class that the only question was who would be playing for a 4th spot. It is March and the Madness (unlike the Spring) is in the air. Today and Sunday should be fun and may the lowest seeded teams WIN!

Apologies from KUBE Management regarding the lack of updated standings. This writer is as anxious as anyone to see where the fruit basket upset of this tournament has left us. A lot of KU fans should be feeling pretty smucg about themselves right now. Kukla is surprisingly out of town again this weekend. When questioned he claimed he and his lovely bride were taking their son to a Quidditch tournament in Louisville (pronounced loo-uh-vull). Apparently their son Brian is a very talented "Seeker" and is expected to get a full ride to Hogwarts. The eyes of the Kube knation await for the retun of our beloved leader and to see....WHO IS ON TOP!

Keep it stoopid today Kubists.

KUBER Fredette

Sooooo....Kukla has renamed his youngest child Jimmer. Against the child's will by the way and his girl friend is aghast. Jimmer Kukla will be finishing up at Kirkwood this year and then likely proceeding on directly to the NBA. It might seem a little over the top to you and I but Don has been mightily impressed by Jimmer's efforts on behalf of BYU. Dons recent conversion to the Mormon faith came as a slight surprise to his wife Maria and broke his poor mother Pat's heart. None of his siblings were surprised. When i asked his sister Lenore she said, :he was always odd".

It is a good noight for Basketball. BYU and Florida are duking it out and UConn and SDSU were going back and forth with Kemba Walker starting to light it up as UConn pulls away. The late games are still to come. It seems that these "name" players always step up up in the tournament. Jimmer and Kemba. Now will a whole raft of children be named that in 2011? Will this be a national tragedy? It should be.

Later tonight Butler and Wisconsin. I have Wisconsin in the Final Four. I have mild hopes that Butler will be sanctioned immediately for violating child labor laws with their coach. Absent that, they appear to be the team of destiny and perhaps on a rocket sled for another Final Four experience. It will do further Karnage to my brackets but at this point, who can care? Jimmer just drained one from about 62 feet away. "Eye of the tiger, eh rock?"

We will see what the standings are tomorrow and how the Kube comes...down to the wire. it is the most wonderful time of the year.

KUBE Konquers ALL!

Sooooo...we have been absent from these pages. When Kukla loses town I lose my muse and my inspiration. Kukla left us on Sunday so he could fly to Switzerland and ski for a few days. For some reason which remains unknown to me, he has access to the KUBE Jet while I am still left to bum rides to Hannibal on Claire Mc Caskills plane. Oh, the injustice of it all. Well, it is Thursday and for all of you who followers of the newest, pathetic, gone in 60 seconds (or less) pop star Rebecca Black, Thursday is the day before Friday. Her video has over 42 million hits. The KUBE site gets more hits than that. The Moneta site...not so much. If you have any desire to weep for the future of music and perhaps your own children, check out the link.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CD2LRROpph0

Makes me queasy.

But back to the KUBE Knation. It looks like Mango Squash and Linda Finnerty split the longshot award. Kukla has insisted that he has to be back in town to konfirm it on the Kube Kray Superkomputer but when i really quizzed him on how this unlikely duo kould be tied under the arkane rules of these brakkets he said..."uh...I am pretty sure." This is the same confidence he had when he told me to short oil future two months ago so I feel pretty good about it. Mangosquash has Washington but he swears he will not go quietly into the night as he has lots of people going forward to the sweet 16 which BEGINS TODAY! Finnerty looks strong with the hated Dukies winning it all. Carolyn Hiumes total possible points indicate that she might have some good long shots alive in her brackets though so it should very interesting. Our top four all have a different champion and we have John Steffens lurking down around 9th with North Carolina. Drew Burbridge who is in remedial classes at SLU Law is sitting at 36 with San Diego State winning it all poised to "SHOCK THE WORLD!"

The real battle is at the bottom of the bracket where Sheri Folis and Hunter Michelak are duking it out. Shari totally killed him on Sunday and moved ahead of him by one point. She has a lot more potential points so she might be hard to catch. GOOD LUCK HUNTER! Also, towards the bottom at 310 is Rex Curtis and seeing his name in these lowly straights reminded me of the glory years of KUBE pet kompetition. Rex was an early adopter of the KUBE and we are sorry to see has fallen on hard times.

My brakkets are now being used to wrap fish but that will not keep me from the action this weekend as the second greatest four days in sports commences this evening. As of Sunday, we will know who our final four is and hopefully Kukla can whip up some magik and get us all possible combinations and winners.

I will be cheering for Butler and against Ohio State, Duke and Kansas. Butler's 13 year old coach is going to have some problems if the final four conflicts with his high school prom.

Signs of the Kubokaust (Like The Holocaust But With K's)

Soooo.... which is the more unlikely headline?




1. Butler returns to Sweet 16

2. France leads allied troops into Libya

3. Mississippi River turns red and runs backward.

You decide. But what a tournament. I am soooo happy for the Butler Bulldogs although they destroyed my bracket in the worst possible way with that nail biting victory over Pitt. Then Wisconsin has a great...GREAT game with K-State and ekes it out and SDSU battles and finally prevails over Temple. A great day of ball yesterday and more KUBE Karnage.

I am watching Sundays games play out but i will have to komiserate regarding that tomorrow. Needless to say i believe that there is a reasonable chance i could be shut out of the Elite 8. And it is not even my fault. My son... my son on the other hand comes back from his girlfriends sorority formal up at Valparaiso (they beat Butler in a Horizion League game) bouncing in and talking about his "Richmonds" and his VCU's and his "Wisconsins" and asking "who has two entries in the top ten?" Yes... he is becoming THAT guy. I have created a monster (pictured above).

I am taking some comfort that Kukla (recovered from car fire, third degree burns and hangnails in just a few days. If you ask him why he will credit his diet of raw chicken breasts ((at least 7 a day)) and protien shakes) is taking off for Colorado and will not be able to update standing showing my son moving up as my own brackets careen drunkenly towards the 300's where they will eventually settle like the Lusitania. At least I am not depressed or bitter about it. Rather than watching Sunday nights games and allowing my son to track his progress I am forcing my son to watch the "Matlock" marathon on Lifetime. That Andi Griffith sure can act and he keeps me from thinking about my 4 entries...dying...

But I digress. Saturdays stats are stimulating, other than my son doing so well. The kream always rises to the top in the KUBE and Finnerty, Assa and Mc Ginnis are a clear example. A just and loving God will indeed squash the Mangosqatch or "mangosaquatch" as I have come to think of him, out of the top of our hallowed brackets. Shayo Mowen made a HUGE 77 place jump but looking at todays games.. and her champ and she has a Mangsquash problem. Aaron Becker (my nephew) jumped 108 points and is also "on the move".Looking down at position 56 I see that Henry Warshaw is making his picks in hi Definition. Very techno savvy Mr Warshaw. Dropping l;ike a stone...Tom Mulvhill drops 119 places. And I think he had Butler going two rounds. Impressive. Shari Follis at the bottom of the bracket has flatlined. Services to be announced. She will be missed.

The obnoxious, monster of a son has just announced that if his Obama stolen brackets win he will donate 10% to his re-election campaign. God have mercy on us all.