DINER REVIEW ANNOUNCES PRIMARY WINNERS

Diner Review Picks Nominees!








I know that everyone is in a race to have the first primary or caucus or whatever and I know that they are going to try and spring all this on us in January but your friends at the Diner Review have decided to forego all of that and save your New Years by telling you now who the nominees are going to be. Absent a major stroke by the populations of Iowa, New Hampshire and Michigan the nominees will be:

Democrats: Barack Obama
Republicans: Mike Huckabee

You heard it here first. But why you might ask the great Diner Reviewer do you think they will be the nominees? I will instruct you as if i were the great and all powerful LIBERAL MEDIA. Well, the schedule is as follows for January for the Democrats:

January 2008
3 - Iowa caucus (per Iowa caucus, website of the Iowa Caucus Project)
8 - New Hampshire Primary (changed on 11/21/07 so it could move back up to first primary status; they waited to make sure Michigan wouldn't schedule their primary even earlier than Jan 15th)
15 - Michigan (on 11/20/07, a judge ruled the primary can be held on Jan 15th; DNC will probably penalize them by taking away delegates)
19 - Nevada caucus (approved by DNC)
26 - South Carolina Primary (approved by DNC)
29 - Florida Primary (may be penalized by DNC for breaking party rules, which may result in losing delegates)

The Republicans throw in a party in Wyoming:
January 2008
3 - Iowa
5 - Wyoming Republican Convention
8 - New Hampshire Primary
15 - Michigan
19 - Nevada, South Carolina
29 - Florida

So here are the problems and opportunities according to the Diner Review. Hillary Clinton is the only Democrat who can lose the presidential election. She is a galvanizing force for the Republicans and has no real governing experience and although advised by the BEST political machine in recent history she cannot fix herself. She has flipped on every important issue to make herself more palatable to what she perceives as the the main stream of the party and is nothing anymore to anyone other then Bill’s really smart, aggressive wife. She is too much of the same system that has brought us here. All Obama will do is the week before the caucus is to remind the Iowans that if she is elected we will have had 20 years of Bush and Clinton dynasties and are they going to tack on another 8 years... a whole generation of two family families having the the Presidency divvied up between them? Iowan’s will not tolerate it.

John Edwards is lost before he starts. he does have a great populist stump speech and I think he has a great heart but he got played out as Gore’s number 2 and people think that they have his number. He is a populist of the multi millionaire variety. he might make a nice VP candidate this time around but Obama will need someone from New York, California or Texas to round out his ticket. Bottom line is that Edwards would be tough to elect as well.
Obama is asking the hard questions and doing his best to tell the truth. He is telling the folks that there are no easy answers and that it is time for a change. Thats is what people want to hear, that is what they need to hear. I only hope the guy can deliver. he appears to be the only one of the bunch who can make any claim to be an outsider. Perhaps it is an illusion and maybe even a lie but... maybe night and that is all we really need. Once he wins Iowa Hillary’s bubble bursts, Edwards goes away when his funding dries up. New Hampshire even if Hillary can limp through and win that one starts to get killed in Michigan (which might lose it’s delegates anyway) but when they hit Nevada and South Carolina it will be over. Obama will kill her by then

The Republicans will be a lot easier. Huckabee beats Romneys well financed machine by 5 percentage points... or more. Guliani get killed in Iowa... killed. He and Romney limp into New Hampshire where they narrowly beat the rising tide of the Huckabee machine which then rolls on into Michigan, where he kills and the they fight a little battle in Nevada and then HE KILLS THEM in South carolina... and if Florida has to vote...they will and he will win there too.
Romney is a Mormon and the conservative christians will not line up behind him. Like it or not Christians view Mormons as nuts. I know that sounds bigoted or wrong but it is what it is and no amount of repositioning or pandering can get him there. Guliani is just simply unlikable outside of New York and he cannot say 9-11 enough to change that. Huckabee is pleasant, likable former minister who talks pretty well and has a nice story. he is also from Hope Arkansas and the republicans as much as they hate Clinton, admire the way he bitch slapped them. it is Huckabee and it is over before Super Tuesday.

Diner Review XI: Florissant Diner

Florissant Diner
831-4375 1060 St Francois, Florissant Missouri



I do not know whether it is well documented but I have a long standing lack of comfort in North County. Perhaps it is because it is where my wife grew up...perhaps it is the proximity to Alton and perhaps it is so close to something called “The Confluence” but one way or another, I do not wander there a lot. Recently I had occasion to be assisting in the dispensing of justice (and truth) at Florissant City Hall and I saw, right across the street, the Florissant Diner.
It is at the end of a small strip mall and has a great “curb appeal” diner wise with a nice neon sign and a big picture window you can look in and see the grill and everyone who is working and eating there. Seating is limited with three 4 top tables and a deuce and then (oddly) bar stools up against the counter facing the grill. there is nothing “bar” like about the place. They do not serve booze and it is very well lit. The over all impression is that it is small and there are a couple of refrigerators out in the area where customers are

On a Saturday morning the tables were full and I needed to sit at the counter with one of my diner aficionado companions (all good people). The place was being run and were served by a delightful Brazilian women who was very pleasant and full of conversation. She introduced us to her husband (a turk) who was doing the cooking. Over all it was one of the more welcoming places i have had breakfast at which makes me deeply suspicious.

The menu is unremarkable but in an “un-dinerlike” way there is an emphasis on “skillets” (which are conflagrations of ingredients with eggs thrown in) and omelets. It seems a little frou frou for this diner but I am happy to report that all my fears were over come by plain and simple exc ellent diner food. Although the chile was not sampled it is available (in season whatever that means) but there was no slinger on the menu. The hash browns were “breakfast potatoes” but DO NOT FEAR! They were mashed down flat into a delightfully browned (on both sides) potato patty that covered a good section of the plate. The sausage was flavorful and the cream gravy (though served in a styrofoam bowl) was hot and had some zesty pepper to it. My companion got the omelet which he reported as excellent and also was favorably impressed by the house hot sauce which was the lip smacking “Franks”.

As i said earlier, this diner is WAY off my beaten path. If the address confuses you it is directly across from that last bastion of law and order in north county, the Florissant City Hall. I get a nose bleed north of highway 40 that gets progressively worse as i head north. By highway 70 I am disoriented and north of 270 where this lies I can go into full on stroke mode. Still...I will come back to this place. If I could get one of the tables and be waited on again by the friendly Brazilian girl...it would all be worth it. Come for the hash browns and the conversation. 7 Slingers on the 10 scale.

Vacation VI: Amoeba Records

Amoeba Records is the largest independent music store in the country. It boast 250,000 titles. that is not 250,000 CD’s my 20 year old pointed out to me “but separate titles dad.” they probably have close to a million CD’s on site. It started in Berkley and then a second one in San Francisco before migrating south. My son and I have never been blessed enough to attend the northern California stores but no trip to southern California is acceptable without a pilgrimage to Amoeba.

As I have bemoaned in this space before, the internet and big chains have killed the independent record store. In St. Louis we only have two of any consequence (Vintage Vinyl and Euclid Records) and even our local chain of Streetside has fallen by the wayside. So an independent music store like an independent book store is to be treasured and admired and when it claims to be the biggest one in the world... pay attention.

The place sits on Sunset in Hollywood and although we fought 2 1/2 hours of mid day traffic through Orange County and L.A. to get there it is an inspiring place. It is huge and imposing. They have an acre of pop/rock CD’s but the real beauty of the place is stated on little placards where they admonish you to check their used CD section because they are cheaper and indeed they are. The place is a music snobs wet dream. When you find the slot for an obscure band like Okkervil River the place card also directs you to look in the sections for Will Sheff and Shearwater.

My mind tends to go blank when I walk in and my carefully disciplined shopping plans get flung to the four winds. I look at the many names over the CD’s (ignoring the new releases section as you can find those at Best Buy if you need them) and start wandering around and thinking of slots I need to fill... T-Bone Burnette’s back catalogue... oh look a life recording of a set by J. Mascis (of Dinosaur Jr.) playing solo at CBGB’s., two out of print Okkervil River EPs. A Magnolia Electric EP where they cover “Werewolves of London.” All good stuff that you simply cannot find anywhere else...even on iTunes (gasp!)

We were on a surgical strike having to return to the rest of the family by five and I was deathly afraid of the traffic returning home so I only looked wistfully at all the great poster art and concert art they had on display knowing I could lose an hour there is I started to look and i had neither the time nor the budget. I scanned their “folk” and “country” sections impressed by the mass of quantity and quality (They had over 30 different Johnny Cash CDs for instance) and then looked at the comprehensive vinyl section which was larger then any St. Louis record store all by itself.

Equally joyful is watching my son shop. I tell him I will buy him four CD’s and I feel pretty good about that until I see him separating out the 4 most expensive for daddy’s charge card. he is getting some rare Decembrist’s, Modest Mouse, Mountain Goats and some bands so pretentious I do not even know their names. I beam with pride as we check out and ring up 130 dollars in purchases. They have like 20 check out stations and the last time we were there on a Saturday night it took a half hour just to check out. Bottom line is that the place is amazing and that whenever in L.A. or Berkley or San Francisco... hit Amoeba and be AMAZED!

Vacation V: Mission San Luis Rey

San Luis Del Rey Mission: There are a lot of people who plan (a lot) for family trips. My wife used to be one of them and then we stated going to family camp up in Michigan and with me having a job there just was not much time for anything else. Now we have a son in college and Sandy has come to the belated realization that the best chance we have for spending any time with our children is on vacation. So we skipped the traditional Thanksgiving at home and traveled to southern California to see friends and play in the ocean a little. That was far as planning went. Other then Thanksgiving at the Tiemann’s and Pat swimming with the dolphins (not the Miami Dolphins 0-12 at this sitting) we had-nothing planned.

Playing in the ocean was to be a big part of the trip and we new the Pacific was cold and we brought wet suits to facilitate our cavorting. No one on the other hand told me that it would be cloudy and windy and generally not conducive to beach frolicking. So we had some time to kill and with no plans and no proper I.D. to get back into the country (thank you homeland security) from Mexico I cam up with a plan. A mere four miles from oceanside California where we were currently residing was a Mission called San luis Rey. Firing up the laptop I learned that there were something like 21 such Missions up and down the coast and that they had a long history. As I have noted before following the laws of physics, Beckers at rest will tend to remain at rest. The troubling part is that beckers in motion will tend to find a way to remain again at rest as soon as possible...preferably with a television on... with cable...and some Cheetos.

But... my wife was sick of this behavior having spent the previous day with two of my progeny as the eldest and I went on a five hour CD buying excursion at Amoeba records in L.A. So... thinking quickly and knowing my kids would not tolerate the 34 minute drive to the Mission at Capistrano I prevailed upon them to humor me and go to the one just four miles away. I sweetened the offer with a run by Starbucks and Mc Donalds and it was a done deal.

It really was a short drive and just on the eastern outskirts of Oceanside a large white Cathedral sits on a hill flanked by a cemetery and a retreat center. The place was large white stucco and looked fairly impressive. We walked in and got the family fare of 20 bucks getting a discount off the hefty 6 dollar regular admission and quickly were standing in dim rooms looking at religious artifacts, innumerable statues of St. Francis of Assisi (my favorite Catholic Saint) and various old pottery. It was underwhelming and moved quickly to a corridor with scenes from the old mission behind glass in a troubling life size diorama. The next room had several pieces of statuary (St Francis again) and two carpeted wooden benches to sit in front of a TV and watch a bad videotape of the Missions History. Let me summarize... started in late 1700’s changed hands a lot of time...no one cared...fell into disrepair and looted by locals...deeded back to local indians...rebuilt in late 40’s under a grant from Hearst foundation. That is what I got out of it but for a great history check out:

http://www.sandiegohistory.org/collections/missions/sanluisrey.htmhttp://www.sandiegohistory.org/collections/missions/sanluisrey.htm

After watching the video we exited into a Courtyard, to the left and shut off from us the retreat center grounds. We walked through a little courtyard with a fountain and a statue of St. Francis into a very dark room with 4 or 5 pieces of art... all of which were big, bloody, religious and reproduced. From there we got to go to the cathedral or Church or whatever and it was pretty cool. All stucco and wood, big with big wooden benches. Still used for worship. Lots of candles, not too much stained glass (none) it was interesting to wonder around. there were a number of paintings (Fresco’s?) on the wall and although we could identify Jesus, Mary and Joseph there were several people including one female that we could not positively I.D. There was also a nice rendering of St. Francis of Assisi.

From there we wondered into the cemetery with a lot of graves of people who had been dead for a long time and several from people recently passed away. There also was a cellar where it appeared all the priests who had served there had been buried. it was nicely landscaped and peaceful and I concluded that I could rest comfortably there if need be but that being a Lutheran the dead Catholics might be offended. You know how those people are. We left the cemetery and went at my daughters insistence to the gift shop where we had a remarkably good time buying:

1. A T-Shirt for Jon (very tasteful outline of Mission on red background)
2. A tortoise and silver cross for me
3. A St. Michael (my favorite Archangel) trading card that when you held it in different directions shows him standing on a rock or crushing a demon with his foot.
4. A shot glass
5. Some crap for Laura’s friends

All in all it was amusing although my wife said we were disrespectful. When I finished paying Jon took me excitedly by the hand and pointed me towards California first and oldest pepper tree. This was not nearly as exciting as it sounds. the family gratefully got back into the mini-van the cultural and historical portion of the family vacation having taken almost an hour and a half (including Starbucks) and now blessedly behind us.

Vacation IV: L.A. Traffic

I have come to really love Southern California. between business and pleasure trips i seem to get out there almost every year and have come to be somewhat awe filled by the fact that you can go from ocean, to mountain, desert to snow in so short of a physical distance. Everywhere you go it is amazing how beautiful the terrain is, and humbling too. I am sure you take it for granted (just as we in St. Louis take for granted the natural beauty of our River Des Peres) when you see it every day but wow... what a cool place.

Until you actually have to get somewhere. The you have to get in your car and get on the road and it is a nightmare. To misquote that great southern philosopher Forest Gump L.A. Highways are like a box of chocolates... you never know what your going to get. Generally what I get is one of those crappy dark chocolate things filled with an unidentifiable nut. That is what I get when I get on the freeway in L.A. If you need to go two blocks...no problem. two miles... no problem. But if you need to go 25 miles... pack a lunch. You might make it in twenty five minutes... it might take three hours. In my time out here this week I was caught in traffic jams at 7:00 Sunday night.... 1:00 Wednesday.... 4:30 PM Wednesday and finally (gratefully) at 10:00 Thanksgiving morning.

There is rarely a rhyme or a reason for this traffic. Just 4 million people in L.A. trying to get around and as far as I can see failing miserably every day. We in St. Louis are lucky to live in a dying, non-vibrant, somewhat backwards midwestern city which we claim “is a great place to raise kids.” If it takes us 45 minutes to get across town at rush hour we feel sorely oppressed. Californians crap bigger traffic delays then that every day of there miserable, car obsessed, polluting lives. Not that I am bitter regarding the huge amounts of Escalades, Explorers, Denalis and other modes of transportation slightly larger then my first house. I would say in the time on the highways I set forth above traffic came to a complete stop over 100 times. It made me feel powerless and angry. Feeling so angry made me question whether I really had ANY mental strength at all but seriously... what a nightmare. I believe it is the randomness of the traffic nightmares I found so infuriating. We know in our town that between 7-8:30 in the morning and between 4:30 and 6:00 at night that there are a lot of people moving too and from work and school. While you know the same thing in L.A. you might also run into an inexplicable jam, with no accident and no highway construction at 11:00 at night. Things like that make daddy nuts.

I do not care how pretty it is. People cannot live this way for an extended period of time. The only theory I can come up with is that these people know that sooner or later they and/or their homes and possessions will be:

1. Swallowed by fire,
2. Swept into the ocean; or
3. Swallowed into the ground by an earthquake

Based on these assumptions they toil on the highways for several hours each day figuring they only have a limited amount of time to suffer here before they have to move back to the midwest. It seems slightly sketchy as a life plan but clearly no one in their right mind could plan to spend the remainder of their life in a beautiful place trapped on a five lane highway with no chance at redemption or of ever getting anywhere in a reasonable amount of time. It may be beautiful but that and 7 bucks will get me a beer at a ball-game. I like to be on time and have control.... or at least the illusion of control over my schedule. You Californians take your beautiful place.... I will take the River Des Peres.

Mizzou Over KU: Rock Chalk... they suck

We take a break in our coverage of the Becker family vacation to say a words regarding the Mizzou Tigers. First of all.... what kind of topsy turvy mixed up world has Missouri and Kansas playing for the nations number one ranking this late in November? I mean... what the hell? Is this one of the signs of the apocalypse. I am 45. I actually saw Missouri play in an Orange Bowl. They were not playing for the national championship or anything like that but it was still exciting. There were plenty years of Liberty Bowl appearances and Independence Bowl and the like. The were many dark and long suffering years between Al Onofrio and Gary Pinkel. Nebraska and Oklahoma dominated the Big 8 and there were of course some very dark years where K-State had a team (sick and unnatural). The Big Twelve did not change things much accept now we had Texas and Texas A.M. to kick us around.

Pinkel came as a savior but we have seen so many saviors... Warren Powers, Woody Woodenhoffer to name just two and they all led us no where. Pinkel came in quietly and began to install a system but we had heard these excuses before. There was Brad Smith who he attempted to turn into a West Coast Offense drop back quarterback and almost lost his job. I actually thought he should have lost his job. I am of course, as we have said before... an idiot.

Last year they finished strong but once again we had seen that before too and although expectations were that we should be good, no one was talking about this. Sitting in my family room in front of a fire with my wife (we have no friends) watching Mizzou score twice and then watching KU miss a field goal starts me salivating about Sunday’s rankings but I still want to sit back and savor it as it is being played. On the second touchdown Chase Daniel ran about 40 yards before throwing the touchdown pass. What a great showcase to finally put him in the Heisman spotlight where he belongs.

KU’s Coach Mangino is a grotesque caricature of a man. He looks like he is 5 foot nothing and about 400 pounds. Seriously, the guy just looks ludicrous. How could this guy inspire a team to 11-0? He looks like an oompa loompa at best. Frightening and the pictures of him during the game made me laugh. A joke my brother in law told me.

Kansas City has a highway 435 serving as an outer-belt. Coach mangino has to pull off and get out of the car at a gas station to get direction and he asks, “Can you tell me how I get to 435?” The gas station attendent looks him up and down and says “How about just eating a fucking salad for lunch.” Made me laugh.

We went to a bar for the second half to watch with some friends who were Mizzou grads. The bar was packed and it looked like it would be a Mizzou blow out but KU stayed in the game even as Missouri racked up penalty after penalty. The game appeared questionably officiated but the point was slammed home when I added it up at the end and saw that Mizzou was penalized for 141 yards to KU’s 26. That is... quite a gap. The other thing to worry about going forward other then penalties was that KU never punted in the second half. They scored or turned it over every series. Mizzou will have to do a little better then that against the Sooners.
KU had problems getting into the end-zone but their poor kicker Scott Webb missed tow field goals in the first half, both make-able that frankly ended up being the difference. Still, KU played a good second half and made some touchdowns of their own but they just could not stop Mizzou’s offense. Still the game was touch and go into the last 2 minutes but Mizzou got a final sack to ice the whole thing. It was a sad image at the end to see their much beleaguered quarterback with turf sticking out of his helmet at the end. Priceless, Final score 36-28.

BCS Standings
 1. Missouri 11-1
 2. West Virginia 10-1
 3. Ohio State 11-1
 4. Georgia 10-2
 5. Kansas 11-1
 6. Virginia Tech 10-2
 7. LSU 10-2
 8. USC 9-2
 9. Oklahoma 10-2
10. Florida 9-3
Life is good! On to the Big 12 Championship and the Oklahoma game and whatever happens happens but what a great year. A gift to the whole state.

Vacation III Vasquez Rocks

Vasquez County Park is an amazing natural wonder. It is a little outside of Valencia off the 14 and is nothing so much a bunch of huge rock formations. I think that there are about three major ones but each one has a football field foot print and then go sloping or swooping up several hundred feet. out tour guide Tim Tiemann forced us out there (because Beckers have a depression related tendency to stay indoors, away from natural light and any form of exercise, preferably with a television on. Tiemann, who has come to enjoy an energy filled, physically fit life style always believe he can “help” our family but we resist... mightily. Still he is persistent and eventually he wins out because he wears us out.

We drove out to the park which took about 30 minutes. We saw some of the California fire damage but it is hard to tell in many of the areas because they are so naturally dry. Almost like a desert... oh... it is a desert. it is always hard for me to remember that without all the irrigation nothing would be green hear other then the pines and the cactus and the occasional palm tree on the coast. It really is a wonder that 4 million people populate this desert. It is also a wonder that is sucks ALL of the moisture out of your skin in about 2 minutes leaving you dry as a bone.

Vasquez has been the sight of numerous movies because the topography is so surreal and prehistoric. According to Wikipedia the following films had had scenes there:

• Joe Dirt (2001)
• Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001)
• Planet of the Apes (2001)
• Bubble Boy (2001)
• Very Bad Things (1998)
• Free Enterprise (1998)
• Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997)
• Guns of El Chupacabra (1997)
• Jingle All the Way (1996)
• Mighty Morphin Power Rangers: The Movie (1995)
• The Flintstones (1994)
• In the Army Now (1994)
• Army of Darkness (1993)
• Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey (1991)
• The Rapture (1991)
• Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989)
• My Stepmother Is an Alien (1988)
• Hell Comes to Frogtown (1987)
• Short Circuit (1986)
• Metalstorm: The Destruction of Jared-Syn (1983)
• Parasite (1982)
• Hearts of the West (1975)
• Blazing Saddles (1974)
• Apache (1954)
• Werewolf Of London (1935)
• Dracula (1931)

Quite a list. It really is awe inspiring. Wikipedia goes on to say “Vasquez Rocks Natural Area Park is a 905 acre (3 km²) northern Los Angeles County, California USA park acquired by LA County government in the 1970s. It is in the Agua Dulce vicinity between the Antelope Valley and the Santa Clarita Valley just north of Los Angeles and seen easily by motorists driving the Antelope Valley Freeway. Vasquez Rocks have been used innumerable times in motion pictures, various television series and in moving and still photography advertisements, and continues to be used in them today.” Nice summary.

The only other place I have been to that is anything similar is Enchanted Rock in the foothills outside of Austin and to a lesser extent “Elephant Rocks” in the eastern Ozarks. the raw rock power here tends to inspire and the last time we were here Jon was about 17 and I had a few anxious moments with him not knowing how to get down from a spot about 30 feet up in the air. I always thought “free climbing” was cool... until I saw my son do it. We tromped around the park, up and down for an hour or so with Jon climbing one nice crevasse and the group of us sitting at the top of a nice high crag. Pat and Laura made it to the top without mishap and we walked down on paths as Jon found more creative ways to descend. I strongly recommend this place for any trip to southern California. From wherever you go there it is definitely worth the trip and beats Sea World and Six Flags all to hell.