Book Review: Invitation To A Beheadinge: Vladimir Nabakov

Invitation To A Beheading
Vladmir Nabakov

I know I argued that you must read the Russians in February but having just finished my second Nabakov book of the month... I have changed my mind. This book exhausted me for all the wrong reasons. When you are setting your reading list out and deciding what of Nabakov you read I am giving you official permission to duck this one.

The premise is pretty simple. We have a condemned man named Cinncinatus who is in a cell awaiting his ultimate beheading. Should be grist for some nice dark observations on death, life, captivity, the meaning of it all... etc... But unfortunately he does not handle it this way.

Cinncinatus as might be expected is going insane as he awaits his demise. He keeps asking his jailer, his warden and anyone who visits when his time will be as he reads lengthy works and keeps writing always wringing his hands that he will not be able to finish one or the other. Who cares.

He seems whiny and shallow. He is sentenced to death for killing his wife’s lover but it seems that even that was pointless because she was a whore who slept with a lot of men and kept doing so after his arrest. Still he pines for her and she visits him twice with disastrous results. He has other visitors as well including his mom and another character who we later find out is his jailer.

The most annoying part of the book is that I was never ever to get a feel for whether what he was telling us was happening was really happening or just a dream. There are parties he goes to, tunnels dug, fields run through, spiders spoken with, card tricks done ... and in the end he is always in his cell waiting to die. Exhausting... and annoying. He used his device of lengthy several page paragraphs but it seemed like he never said anything.
In the end.... surprisingly? He gets his head cut off. At least I think he did. But sadly i could not care less. A front runner for my worst read of the year.