BANISHED! KUBE KNOTES FROM THE 3RD WORLD!

THE “HOTEL” MY SON BOOKED ME INTO IN NICARAGUA

Sooo….life is funny.  My son, blood of my blood, flesh of my flesh, tells me he has an important errand for me to run on behalf of the tournament...serving as KUBE’s representative at a wedding in Nicaragua.  Obviously it is holy week, the first weekend of the NCAA.  Normally I like to spend these four days in quiet contemplation, with in a bookshop in Vegas or a bar with several hundred large, HD flatscreens closer to home.  But clearly, my son, as new CEO of KUBE knows better and he needed me and after having been so unceremoniously shown the door I was anxious to be of assistance.

I carefully scheduled my flights getting up at 4:00 A.M. on Thursday so I could be in my room or the hotel bar in Managua to watch the tip off.  My travel went without serious incident  although I continue to be dumbfounded by the insistence that foreign countries have of using their native language rather than English.  I mean, seriously, these people live in our hemisphere… the least they could do is learn the language.  But I arrive in Managua and catch my shuttle to the Hotel Intercontinental.  My room is nice and as I flip through the 100 channels seeing a lot of… soccer.  I mean, it was 11:00 in the morning and there were 5 different soccer games going on.  Basketball was nowhere.

I called the front desk assuming that something could be done, but between the language barrier… and my sobbing there was no headway.  Not a problem.  I put on my big boy pants and went down to the hotel bar.  I ordered a tequila!  Why not, it was noon somewhere and I was on vacation.  But after seeing that the TV was playing the repeat of a Premier League game I entered in negotiations with the bartender who then searched… exactly the same stations I had in my room… and came up empty.

At this point, I began to suspect that there was some foul play involved.  Looking at my ticket, I noticed for the first time that my itinerary did not call for a return flight. I texted my son because the hotel had free WiFi and he suggested belatedly that the games were very exciting, it looked like there would be several upsets and that perhaps I should watch online.  I tried that for about an hour but for one reason or another, streaming was blocked on the various sites offering the service and so for the first time, ever, as an adult, I did not watch a single tip off.  I did not see a single basket.  I did not hear a show squeak!

I could hear my sons mocking laughter from 1000 miles away.  Not only had he fired me but I was being...banished!  Oh the humanity!  And what a day I missed!  The hated Buckeyes stumbling early and hard.  Harvard embarrassing Cincinnati!  The Bison of South Dakota State making sure there would be no strains of “Boomer Sooner” to be heard in the next round and missing my precious Billikens… sloppily winning an overtime contest against an N.C. State Team that evidently missed 30 Free Throws!  THIRTY!  I was able to follow it all on my phone.  No video but play, by play, score by score. This is a painful way to watch a basketball game… or more aptly to observe reporting of a basketball game.  Manhattan even gave Louisville all they could handle early.  Simply put it was a GREAT day of basketball...and I did not see a bit of it.  Now I know how the form Ukrainian President feels.

The standings had me tied for 5th with one of my brackets which is where I believe I will peak this year.  That is typical Becker performance.  Even if I win, I suspect new KUBE Management would probably insist on using the Ukranian Sanctions to Seize any winnings that might be coming my way.  One of the great things about growing the KUBE and then being banished from same is not knowing some (most) of the participants and this years contest is no different.  Who is Andres Jason?  Why did his parents give him two first names? He picked Arizona which in this topsy, turvy world might make him a genius.  If he is still leading after Friday’s games I will try and do some fact finding on who he is and who his people are.  Christopher (Cotton) Mather is in 2nd with Wichita which amazing few people picked.  Amazing because there is no evidence that they can lose and the have not lost a game in the last year.  A surprising 3rd is law school grad, chef, and film maker, the high functioning Drew Burbridge who also believes in the Shockers!

At the bottom of the standings is Shalee Strong who also lost her Champion Western Michigan.  I don’t know Shalee but suspect that she might of been the kind of women who would have shown the good judgment to date a man like me,  Mitch Margo… HE IS BACK… at the bottom of the sheet but at least he picked Michigan State and an old KUBE stalwart, Blake Warlop (Of The QUad City Wallops) is carrying on the family tradition of stinking up  the leaderboard. In the top 25 one guy picked Syracuse, One picked Kentucky and one picked Duke.  These are fabulous possible dark horses to win it all.

I did view the Left Coast KUBE Komments with some dismay.  Under old management we were not in the skin game just to promote a few more entries.  It is sad how far we have slid in such a short time.  As always, I blame Obama.  Now onto Friday’s games which I will be following until my phone charge dies.  I think Jon prepaid one night in the hotel for me so I will likely need to start sending this by “the mojo wire”.  This all is not a big deal.  I have been considering going native for a while and this seems like an opportune time to start.

BISON!