Diner Review: The Egg & I

Soooo.... I get giddy like a little school girl when a new breakfast place opens in my general area.  This was the case on Sunday when dining at Annie Gunns I ran into a good friend who told me that I should try “Th Egg & I” (like The King and I but with eggs).  He knows my proclivities in dining at such paces and my enjoyment of same.  The place is in one of the new strip malls jammed into the Des Peres/Kirkwood portion of Manchester which in a few years will be, “the new Crestwood”.  The new monster upscale Dierbergs and the establish monster upscale Schnucks should make Manchester road an avoidable nightmare for everything but residents of the year.  Alas...goodbye Chic Fil Et!
But I digress.  The place opens at 6 which appears to be a good start.  I pulled into the empty lot on a Monday to find a waitress unlocking their out door furniture (slightly disquieting thinking of patio furniture thieves in Des Peres and went in to see that I was the only one there.  The place itself is fairyl large but unfortunately is also pretty non descript.  My first impression was that of a more family friendly “First Watch”.... don’t get me started again on First Watch.  The friendly waitress who had been liberating the patio furniture seated me at a nice window seat and I ordered a tea and reviewed the menu.  As one might expect from the name it is an eggcentric menu:
http://www.theeggandirestaurants.com/egg_menu.html

Not being an egg person I am always annoyed by menus that offer 50 different ways to serve eggs.  I think if I ate eggs I would prefer them scrambled or if feeling fussy...over easy.  Still I was able to order biscuits and gravy with some sausage and ranch style potatoes.  I asked after the existence of hash browns and was sadly told no but was assured that the ranch style potatos were “fantrastic”.  To their additional credit they brew their own iced tea and brought me a glass and a carafe allowing me to refill at my liesure.  An excellent start..  The place was clean and well lit having only opened on July 2nd but once again the lack of patrons was a little disquieting and evidently there had been another patron there because when he checked out he had to wait for the manager/owner to come out of the back where he was doing paperwork and I was quiet enough that I could hear any other conversation in the place.

The food came and it was very nicely presented with the biscuits and gravy in their own boat and the ptoatos on one side and the sausage on the other.  The presentation was the best part.  The suasage was unremarkable and passable.  The biscuits were actually the leaden biscuits that I prefer and we moist and very filling.  The gravy was a little sweet rather than savory but was also passable.  The ranch potatos were of course the hated “breakfast potatos” but they were very well prepared and although cubed, rather than shreaded were crisp and satisfying.  The waitress was very attentive (but what else did she have to do) and was earnestly refilling my tea carafe as I finished the meal.  In the end it was unfortunately unremarkable.  It is another unmemorable place to go break your fast in the morning and from my research of the website I can see that it too is a national chain although there are only two open in the area.  My guess is that unless they can find some way to differentiate themselves from First Watch that they will not be long for the area.  Enjoy your eggs while you can.

Diner Review: The Crossroads, Mt. Olive Illinois

Soooooo... your diner has been busy in his unceasing efforts to bring you news and reviews of unimportant, bland and trite in the diner and lunch world. Recently it was my lovely daughters 19th birthday. My wife explained to me that other than once when she was stranded in Florida that we had never missed being together with our kids on one of their birthdays. this seemed unlikely to me but as in so many things, I have no memory and fighting with my wife is similar to the bug fighting with the windshield. In any event I left St. Louis at 1:00, drove to Carlinville where my wife was auditing a bank and drove straight to Valparaiso for dinner with my daughter, turned around and drove back to Carlinville. Lets call it a 600 mile round trip for dinner with my lovely daughter... it was probably a little longer and we ended up back in Carlinville at 1:00 A.M. Friday morning.

1. The Magneson Grand Hotel is in Carlinville. i do not know if it is an old Holdiay Inn, and Old Ramada or an old Best Western. At 1:00 A.M. it was creepy. lets put it on the “avoid” list.
2. There are a spate of diners along 55 north of St. Louis but I never get to eat at them because I am n ever passing by them at breakfast time and if so it is on my way to court in some God forsaken Illinois hamlet and there is no time. I have hit the Country Air Diner, and the Ariston in Litchfield, before but other than that they have been woefully unrepresented in these pages.
3. On this morning I got up at 6:30, 60 miles out of town and did not have to be in a meeting till 9 back in the office so it lent itself to a little...meander.

The Crossroads Diner is on the outskirts of the buzzing metropolis of Mt. Olive. It is an easy on easy off from the highway sitting on the east side of 55. It has a big gravel parking lot and truckers are welcome. I tried to get a newspaper outside of it but was disappointed and later delighted to see that the only daily offered was the Herald. It proved to be excellent company for breakfast and i was able to read about all manner of deaths, DUI’s and public drunkenness, as well as the usual deliberations of local governance in the several municipalities and counties surrounding it. It really is a great little paper. No national news. That is OK.

I walked in after being amazed by the crowded parking lot and was pleaed to see a group of about 12 men, the youngest of which might have been 60. They were speaking loudly and at first i was annoyed and then i realized several of them probably couldn’t hear. They covered the weather, the state of several of their penises, politics (local and national), the weather, women, the waitress and her alleged boyfriend etc...It was a good show and a heartening piece of Americana which makes the Diner Review a worthwhile endeavor for yours truly. I wonder if I will have such a group, have such a place or even give a shit by the time I have time to have breakfast with a group like this.

They were at tables so I sat at the counter and what a counter it it. A double horseshoe of stools along a formica bar at just the right (low) height. Beautiful. The griddle was not in site and everything was cooked and passed through a window but still it had a good feel to it. I tend, as discussed to generally order the same things. Hash Browns, biscuits and gravy and sausage. The iced tea was brewed and fresh. The counter was clean and the waitress was pure...waitress. She put up with the bullshit from the old men and talked pork sausage with the cook. They agreed that the sausage here was not much but the sausage at the upcoming whole hog sausage festival at a local church was “to die for”. This was slightly disconcerting since I savor good sausage and it is so hard to find. The hash browns, shredded and crisp were perfect. The biscuits were of the proper fluffiness/soppiness ratio and the gravy was good if unremarkable. The sausage, as advertised.... not much. I saw the eggs at the old man table and they looked cooked to order. No one had the pancakes or any of the other specialty items on the menu and I get the feeling you want to stick to basics though if ever back around lunch I will hit the pork tenderloin.


The Crossroads is absolutely not a place you go for the food. It was serviceable yet unspectacular. You go for the experience because it will likely not always be there. If you head up 55 it is at the venerable Mt. Olive/Benld (buy a vowel) exit and although I did not have time I will, one day stop and visit the “Mother Jones Monument”.

The Crossroads Website: http://www.mtolivecrossroads.com/index.html

To learn more about Mother Jones Monument: http://www.roadtripamerica.com/places/mtolive.htm

Diner Review: PW Pizza

Soooooo....PW Pizza.... I really, really like it. I was turned onto it by an awful...awful lawyer who is an aggressive food snob and degenerate prick. I like ahim a great deal. He also turned me on to Mi Ranchito in Fairmont City. PW Pizza is on the first floor of Vin Du Cet. I would like to tell you all about it and how I was the first one there but I have never dined or drank there so screw that. But PW....I have been there a half dozen times now. It is pretty far east on Cheteau but not as far east as Ralson.

It is tricked out woody place with a nice little trendy spice shop, wine shop, cheese shop (useless) and a small bar (pleasant) as you come in. There are normally friendly people at the hostess station and if you get there by 11:30 you can always get a seat for lunch and if your ater be prepared to wait or sit at the bar. They have a nice selection of beers that can make any stay at the bar more enjoyable....even at lunch...even =when you have a client meeting....even when your going to going to court to argue against your client getting the death penalty at 1:00. I normally drink Grisedick Brothers there but that is just me.

Start with a salad. All of them are good. Very fresh and interesting. But then get what you are there for which is either pizza or calzone. I am currently higher on the pizza than the the calzone but the calzone is excellent too. My problem is that they use the buffalo mozzerella rather than good old fashioned processed mozzerella like God intended. But the crust is perfect. The sauce is generally very good and their red sauce just has a little...itty bitty bit of heat. They are good and slightly bigger than your head.

Normally I would hate a place like this. It says shit on the menu like:
“Crusts available in Original, Honey Wheat or Gluten Free
Vegan – daiya cheese substitute available”.
I don’t even know what that means. Get original. It is awesome. They have all kinds of items and they are all fresh. I have been extremely boring and generally get sausage and pepperoni. It is really good. Also, they only serve pizza in 12” pies and they serve two but I like to try and eat one by muself because I am after all a gross pig. I am generally of a mind right now that it is the best pizza in St. Louis. They are doing everything right currently and it is kind of a fun destination. perhaps one of you can get to Vin Du Set and tell me what that is all about. But you would have to likely get a job first and move out of your parent basement. Here is the link:

http://pwpizza.com/our_menu

Fozzies Sandwich Emorium: The Review....

Two words...OH MY GOD! I was leaving Clayton to head downtown and noticed a new place on Big bend, right before I got on the highway. it was called Fozzie's Sandwich Emporium. I personally was never a Muppets fan and spent a long time seriously concerned about the Fozzie Bear character. he was unfunny in a way that made me want to punch him. I do not know whether that was the intent, or whether it reflects more poorly on me, or Jim Henson. t looked like an old gas station, maybe a Clark station. I thought it looked like a typical "wraps" place or some other place that would serve veggie burgers and forgot about it. On a typical Friday, I have no friends who will break bread with me and have a lot to contemplate. Eating lunch alone (with my Wall Street Journal) has become a bad habit. So I headed out highway 40 on Friday and went to Fozzies for lunch. The place had ample parking although i could see people lined up inside.

I parked and immediately noticed that behind the place they have several large garden boxes filled with tomatoes, lettuce, peppers, cilantro, parsley and all manner of greens. Interesting. The door is a long way from the lot and you walk along the back of the place and they have several tables set out there and there is some shade available even at lunch. Still, on a 100 degree day you do not want to park your butt out there. The place itself is unimpressive with a small area to order before the counter, three tables offering minimal seating and space to wait for your order. The menu is displayed on large chalk boards and I immediately thought... uh oh!

Lots of offerings with V's before them. Veggie options. Should I just turn around? Should I spray paint markings on the building that it burned so as not to tempt little children down the slippery slope of healthy eating? But immediately I start looking at the other sandwich offerings and started to be impressed. Philly Cheese Steaks, hot dogs, Gyros, French Dips. Also they tout deserts, hand made shakes... and yes they do have all manor of salads. I think I counted about 20 sandwich selections. The staff was incredibly friendly and helpful in the way that people who really like what they are doing and like what they are selling can muster. Think Apple Store. In preparing this post I tried to find a web site but came up dry. I will inquire on next trip there.

The cheerful guy at the counter was helpful and friendly and full of energy like only an employee who really loves his job and his project. Think Apple Store employee. He saw me looking at the options and could sense I was not that bright and said "The Big Bend Mafia is our best seller". The Big Bend Mafia is described as Italian Beef, salsiccia, giardiniera and provolone on a garlic hoagie. I was able to grab a table and sample with their home made chips. While the chips were a little disappointing, I knife and forked the rest of it with a great deal of pleasure. this was a succulent sandwich made better by the bread. the italian beef had a good flavor and the salsiccia was mild but flavorful. I had no idea what the gardiniera was but it was delicious and I have now learned the following from Wikkipedia:

"Giardiniera is an Italian or Italian-American relish of pickled vegetables in vinegar or oil. Giardiniera is available as either mild or hot. In the United States, hot giardiniera is often referred to as "Hot Mix".
Common vegetables in the Italian version, also called sotto aceti, include onions, celery, zucchini, carrots and cauliflower, pickled vegetables in red- or white-wine vinegar. It is typically eaten as an antipasto, or with salads.
In Chicago, giardiniera is a condiment, typically used as a topping on Italian beef sandwiches.[1] Giardiniera is commonly made with serrano peppers and some combination of assorted vegetables, such as bell peppers, olives, celery, pimentos, carrots and cauliflower and sometimes crushed red pepper flakes, all marinated in vegetable oil, olive oil, soybean oil or any combination of the three oils." Good to know. This really did make the sandwich.

I liked it so much I came back that night and treated myself to The Italian Grinder. "Capicola, mortadella, salami, provolone, lettuce, tomato on garlic hoagie. Wow. This was even better and the lettuce tasted like the tomatoes, right out of the garden in back. I do not know whether or not it was but the illusion was provided by their locavore garden. I took this one home, skipped the home made chips and once again knife and forked it. The italian dressing was great but very Wishbone-esque. It was all a messy, messy delight.

On saturday i closed out with Da Dip. Hot roast beef with debris onions, swiss cheese and tiger suce on crispy baguette. It too was outstanding as a carry out and traveled well back to my house. It was a good sandwich but i was slightly disappointed by the Tiger Sauce which i think of as a cajun sauce but from a little research on the web appears it can also be like a dill based white sauce. It was not bad, just was not what i expected. The bread again was outstanding. They really seem to pay attention to the bread.

I guess that is really the thing so far. Fozzies really pays attention to the details. I am told their Lamb Gyro is to die for and that will be my next attempt. They also have a "sweet side" which includes custom shakes with all sorts of ingredients like and toppings ranging from bananas and walnuts to granola and snickers. That will need to get a try as well. I would kill for a place like this downtown. try it now, before they screw it up and expand or get overwhelmed. They are a quality operation. Savor them, support them.

The Rooster: The Diner Review...Review

Sooooo... The Rooster. THIS IS NOT A DINER!

It has been open for over a year... maybe two and I have avoided it like.... well no offense but like cancer. It looked cool sitting there on Locust... it is the "re-emerging" area of downtown. If you believe that I have several hundred lofts I would like to sell you. Anyway I have avoided it because of the dreaded word...."creperie". Rhymes with drapery. Who thinks that these are good idea? Thin, egg pancake like things normally filled with fruit or cheese or something. Hate them.

But I love St. Louis and I love breakfast and I work downtown and well.... a guy has got to eat...right? The place is cool. It is all brick walls and cool art, lots of roosters, a mural... it is nice.If I could decorate a restaurant I would do it a lot like this. I hoit it one morning with my venerable dining companion Sal. Sal has the good sense to eat breakfast and we discuss the economy, people, God, current events, the law and anything else that comes up. This is normally over biscuits and gravy and sausage and other manly food, which he will liberally bathe in hot sauce.

But the Rooster... the Rooster is not a diner. It is a Creperie but they have enough things for the rest us..."people" to eat. They have "savory" crepes Mo. Made german Sausage, Marinated Chicken and Bree) and "sweet" crepes (S'more, Roasted Apple and Pumpkin Mousse). About 14 of each and they sounded pretty tasty. The rest of the menu includes things like "The Rooster Slinger with andoullie sausage, breakfast potatoes, fried eggs, sausage and gravy...good stuff. It is a pretty decent menu and I had some sausage and potatoes and toast and it was good. Sal had an excellent Crepe and bullied me into tasting his crepe. Verdict...good. They still have "breakfast potatoes" instead of hash browns but they do have brewed iced tea which makes it better.

The service was a little indifferent but we were there on a weekday. They were polite but we got there at opening time (7:00) and they were opening up, brewing coffee and the like. It is clearly a place for weekends.... even more odious it might be excellent for..."brunch". If I were staying downtown with my wife I would definitely crawl in there hung over. I believe they probably do a nice business on Saturday and Sunday. It is a cool little place and my guess is they would make a mean bloody mary. I would definitely recommend it for a nice breakfast or brunch but don't ever, ever think of it as a diner.



http://roosterstl.com/

Diner review: Kickers on South Broadway

Sooooooo.... the St. Louis Diner Review in it’s tireless effort to illuminate and educate continues to try and find new and useless ways to spend time and eat breakfast. The Diner Review has been lax and useless as far as getting you more diner news and reviews. First the news.

We have another casualty in the St. Louis diner community in that the dreaded Uncle Wimpys on south... way south Broadway (almost to Lemay) has bitten the dust. I am not sure when the dreaded closure took place but this is one that frankly I will not miss. the place was kitschy, Full of coke and highway 66 fake memorabilia and it had two front doors. That is bad luck and of course just wrong. The Riverside Diner (also on south Broadway) closed early last year and it was a much better place but alas...gone.

The question must rise as to why these diners are closing. There is a fine group of people living in the area and easy access and parking. Granted you do not get a lot of the west county traffic but that certainly cannot be considered a bad thing. No, there is another culprit involved and that appears to be a number of bars on the same strip that also serve breakfast and that brings us to Kickers.

Kickers is the old “Lighthouse” which was the old Dieckempers. There is a shit load of history in the place. I had visited the bar the afternoon before in an effort to find another place to hide and saw the dreaded sign “Breakfast every day from 7:00 A.M. Seemed to portend great things. I began quizzing the bartender regarding the breakfast menu and was informed his omelets were to die for with home made sausage and biscuits and gravy and breakfast potatoes. They are home cut.
The next morning I showed up with my most reliable dining companion at 7:15. I was greeted in a friendly manner upon entering the establishment by a 50 ish woman in a rakish hat who was the waitress and after some brief negotiations she brought me an iced tea. I read the paper in the dim lighting at a nice table for 6. No booths in the place which is a little sad but there is a full bar and a couple of high tables in the bar area with stools. The other room was where i was sitting and there are a number of large tables and appropriately poor light.

The tea was good. My dining companion arrived and immediately started chatting up the waitress. In the future i need to remember to maintain a portion of the paper to read after his arrival while he is chatting up the waitress. If I had done that I would not have had to hear about the fire which had burned house badly and left her this morning with watery eyes, a runny nose and slight smell of pulled pork. Not that there is anything wrong with pulled pork. She also explained that it was “Kickers” because the group of owners were all soccer players. I should have realized that they day before when they were playing the AC Milan v. AC International Club Match. Might be a good place to catch world cup games this summer.

He got coffee and then went into a rather long ordering process involving eggs, sausage and toast... but it still took a long time. I was able to quickly order a 1/2 order of biscuits and gravy, breakfast potatoes and home made sausage patties. I want to be very clear, there was nothing wrong with this breakfast. But there was nothing spectacular either. The breakfast potatoes were in deed fresh cut and crispy and were pretty good. The biscuits were slightly puffy but very good and the gravy was good old fashion cream gravy. The home made sausage was the biggest disappointment, not because there was anything wrong with it but because it was just adequate. I wanted some spice and some flavor and got fairly bland pork sausage. Still, nothing wrong with it, just nothing special. The cook is also one of the owners and I am pretty confidence that he would make me whatever I wanted.

A key element is of course that you could get a cold bottle of Busch with your breakfast if you need one and that just stinks of America and makes me proud.

Over all I give the place 7.5 on the 10 Slinger scale and that is mostly because it has tremendous ambience and excellent help.

Diner Review X: The Eat Rite St. Louis

Diner Review
The Eat Rite
Downtown at 7th and Choateau
622 Chouteau Ave, St Louis - (314) 621-9621

There is something ultimately intimidating about the Eat Rite...even for the experienced and adventurous diner. I have been working downtown now for three years and in that time I have visited the Eat Rite only twice. I now pass it every morning and never stop. Whether it is because the over all impression of filth, the unfriendliness (and apparent uncleanliness) of the staff or the unwelcoming parking lot... it intimidates. The parking lot is sometimes used as a cheap option for Cardinal games. It always has cans, bottles and broken bottles.... nice. It is free standing which is a nice touch but standing their on the corner it looks like a beat up old stripper.

Still, a job is a job and the Eat Rite (or don’t eat at all) downtown is a monument. The net tells me it was established in the 1940’s and is one of the few historic surviving Route 66 Roadside Attractions. The plaque commemorating same says diners stopped by for great burgers and a friendly atmosphere. I cannot as of yet comment on the burgers but the “friendly atmosphere” seems to have expired shortly after the troops came home from WWII. These were without a doubt the meanest, hardest looking two women I have ever seen behind a counter. I would back either one in a knife fight because they both looked like they had made it through several.


Entering the place it is a “classic”. A shotgun diner with one long counter which curves at the end of the door for a nice J with stainless steel front and stools all around. No booths. Two vintage pinball machines and a jukebox crowd the wall. The major dominating item in the place is the menu which is up over the grill and it is impressive but once again belies the friendliness with it’s “absolutely no refills” caveat. The pricing is not bad and the grill area seems pretty clean but food is kept in a home kitchen type refrigerator and you can see to the back storage area and out to the parking lot and you wonder who they know at the health inspectors office and OSHA. The counter is covered with at least 1/2 dozen ashtrays... all full... overflowing. It makes you wonder how they do it...keep them just... brimming with ashes at all hours of the day and night. Miraculous.

Food...yes they have food and it is a good menu up on that wall. It includes a slinger and chicken fried steak and even steak though i have not tried it yet. Looks like they do their eggs well. Sausage was unremarkable and the bacon though not tasted seemed like it would be pretty good if it was as good as it looks. The potatoes were of the “breakfast” potatoe variety, not shredded but chopped up pretty food and were more then passable. The place is typified when one asks for iced tea. Clearly not a normal request for the down on their luck and drunken clientele. The friendly waitress said she didn’t know if they made any or not, when her running mate announced the affirmative and they opened the kitchen refrigerator to get a pitcher of it. Though not old... it was less then fresh.

Check out the RFT Review: http://www.riverfronttimes.com/search/restaurants.php?oid=32203

Over all I have to say again that it probably wins all awards as far as authenticity. The problems are that the food is only passable, the service is bad and borders on unfriendly and the place looks dirty as shit. Other then that it is perfect. 6 Slingers on the 10 scale.

Diner Check List

CHECK LIST FOR DINER:
PLEASE PRINT OUT AND CARRY WITH YOU
YOU ARE NOT BRIGHT ENOUGHT TO REMEMBER!

1_____Cheap Aluminum Napkin Dispensers

2_____Dispensing incredibly thin and useless napkins

3_____Condiments on every table include either hot sauce, chili pepper or both

4_____Waitress (never a waiter) is a woman of indeterminate age and is NEVER pretty

5_____Grease hangs in the air and yet is also caked on everything

6_____Ashtrays on counter and in each booth. One booth inairless corner marked "no smoking."

7_____Floor is almost disgustingly dirty

8-----Breakfast served 24 hours

9_____Menu is laminated (due to grease) and has 50 items on essentially one page

10____Bathroom marked "FOR PATRONS ONLY"

11_____Cook is smoking a cigarette while cooking your food

12_____There is a daily special which is on the preprinted menu for the same price as the "special".

13_____Counter with stools

14_____Griddle is right behind counter in plain view

15_____There is a door behind the kitchen counter and grill and no one ever goes back there (accept to die)

16_____Large vent over griddle that is never on and never works

17_____Pay ohone (anachronism)

18_____They only take cash

19_____Someone is asleep (passed out) in one of the booths

20_____There is a substance on the top of the booth...just a substance

21_____Empty beer cans and bottle left outside door as people enter

22_____Clock

23_____Newspaper machine outside

24_____Ability to have chili and/or cream gravy on ANYTHING

OPTIONAL:

Cigarette Machine

Glass Doored "Pie Safe"