Diner Review: Mi Ranchito

Sooooo.... As I have previously stated there are a great number of Mexican places that have opened in the last few years. Lots of good tacos and burritos and carnitas and asada and what not. Great tacos served on corn tortillas with a little cilantro and some lime. When the tortillas are warm and the carnitas is good it is more than a little bit of heaven. They have sprung up all over place. It is a treasure. I keep my eyes peeled and when a place pops up I like to check it out and the more off the beaten path, the better. Last year I touted El Ranchito in Fairmont City and it should not be confused with this impostor called Ml Ranchito.

So this place has been getting good reviews and there has been a lot of talk. It is on Kingsland just north of Olive and about 5 blocks south of Delmar. It is in the end of a crappy little strip mall and when I went on a recent day for lunch it was easy to get a table at 11:45 and it was a waiting line by noon. People seem to love the place and I had a table by the door and people just kept rolling in. it is hugely popular as a lunch destination right now.

The chips and salsa were reasonably good. Nothing too special. The sauce was read and clumpy with onions but not too hot. 4 kinds of hot sauce on the table to spice it up. Chips were clearly not the standard store bought chips and they crunched in a way that was not displeasing.

The menu was a disappointment looking to me like a slightly more authentic Casa Gallardo. Your meat choices for the tacos were “chicken” or “beef” rather than all the different delicacies that I have grown accustomed to. There was no beef tongue. There was no goat. There was no “asada”. I mean there has to be 4 different kinds of pork at El Ranchito in Pontoon Beach. But still, there were a ton of people there and quite a few cops (they know where to eat) and so it was with great anticipation that I ordered the carnitas plate.

While I would not classify it as a disappointment, the meat itself was great, the rest of the plate was uninspiring yellow rice and some lettuce with tomato pieces in it. I had to ask for some lime wedges. Then I unrolled the aluminum foil I was doubly disappointed to see flour tortillas. How does that happen? I know I am no expert about Mexican food, or tacos, or the law, or marriage or...well obviously anything... but FLOUR tortillas? Really? Still as I said, the meat was good and and it was acceptable but I want JOY from my food.

The iced tea was brewed. The bill was not too expensive but I just cannot recommend the place. It has no personality, an uninteresting location and a quality of food only slightly higher than chain Mexican restaurants. And flour tortillas? Blech! 6 Slingers on the ten scale.

here is their web site but it is down or at least was today. That says about all you need to know.

http://www.mi-ranchitostl.com/

Diner Review: The Crossroads, Mt. Olive Illinois

Soooooo... your diner has been busy in his unceasing efforts to bring you news and reviews of unimportant, bland and trite in the diner and lunch world. Recently it was my lovely daughters 19th birthday. My wife explained to me that other than once when she was stranded in Florida that we had never missed being together with our kids on one of their birthdays. this seemed unlikely to me but as in so many things, I have no memory and fighting with my wife is similar to the bug fighting with the windshield. In any event I left St. Louis at 1:00, drove to Carlinville where my wife was auditing a bank and drove straight to Valparaiso for dinner with my daughter, turned around and drove back to Carlinville. Lets call it a 600 mile round trip for dinner with my lovely daughter... it was probably a little longer and we ended up back in Carlinville at 1:00 A.M. Friday morning.

1. The Magneson Grand Hotel is in Carlinville. i do not know if it is an old Holdiay Inn, and Old Ramada or an old Best Western. At 1:00 A.M. it was creepy. lets put it on the “avoid” list.
2. There are a spate of diners along 55 north of St. Louis but I never get to eat at them because I am n ever passing by them at breakfast time and if so it is on my way to court in some God forsaken Illinois hamlet and there is no time. I have hit the Country Air Diner, and the Ariston in Litchfield, before but other than that they have been woefully unrepresented in these pages.
3. On this morning I got up at 6:30, 60 miles out of town and did not have to be in a meeting till 9 back in the office so it lent itself to a little...meander.

The Crossroads Diner is on the outskirts of the buzzing metropolis of Mt. Olive. It is an easy on easy off from the highway sitting on the east side of 55. It has a big gravel parking lot and truckers are welcome. I tried to get a newspaper outside of it but was disappointed and later delighted to see that the only daily offered was the Herald. It proved to be excellent company for breakfast and i was able to read about all manner of deaths, DUI’s and public drunkenness, as well as the usual deliberations of local governance in the several municipalities and counties surrounding it. It really is a great little paper. No national news. That is OK.

I walked in after being amazed by the crowded parking lot and was pleaed to see a group of about 12 men, the youngest of which might have been 60. They were speaking loudly and at first i was annoyed and then i realized several of them probably couldn’t hear. They covered the weather, the state of several of their penises, politics (local and national), the weather, women, the waitress and her alleged boyfriend etc...It was a good show and a heartening piece of Americana which makes the Diner Review a worthwhile endeavor for yours truly. I wonder if I will have such a group, have such a place or even give a shit by the time I have time to have breakfast with a group like this.

They were at tables so I sat at the counter and what a counter it it. A double horseshoe of stools along a formica bar at just the right (low) height. Beautiful. The griddle was not in site and everything was cooked and passed through a window but still it had a good feel to it. I tend, as discussed to generally order the same things. Hash Browns, biscuits and gravy and sausage. The iced tea was brewed and fresh. The counter was clean and the waitress was pure...waitress. She put up with the bullshit from the old men and talked pork sausage with the cook. They agreed that the sausage here was not much but the sausage at the upcoming whole hog sausage festival at a local church was “to die for”. This was slightly disconcerting since I savor good sausage and it is so hard to find. The hash browns, shredded and crisp were perfect. The biscuits were of the proper fluffiness/soppiness ratio and the gravy was good if unremarkable. The sausage, as advertised.... not much. I saw the eggs at the old man table and they looked cooked to order. No one had the pancakes or any of the other specialty items on the menu and I get the feeling you want to stick to basics though if ever back around lunch I will hit the pork tenderloin.


The Crossroads is absolutely not a place you go for the food. It was serviceable yet unspectacular. You go for the experience because it will likely not always be there. If you head up 55 it is at the venerable Mt. Olive/Benld (buy a vowel) exit and although I did not have time I will, one day stop and visit the “Mother Jones Monument”.

The Crossroads Website: http://www.mtolivecrossroads.com/index.html

To learn more about Mother Jones Monument: http://www.roadtripamerica.com/places/mtolive.htm

Conundrum

Soooo... there is a little bit of fun with Newt winning South Carolina. Like coming home tonight and watching FOX news and seeing them hem and haw... They cannot embrace Newt but he is clearly what their base, at least in South Carolina are embracing. They reap what they so as they have encouraged distrust and fear and racism and now that Newt (who ain’t stupid) has embraced those themes, the FOX news world is marching...indeed dancing to his tune. The bigwigs at FOX, now the mainest of mainstream media had assumed that they could undermine Romney, question his loyalty to “conservative values” and then hold their nose as he want on to beat Satan...er...I mean Barack Obama. Now Newt trounced Mitt. Now the game is on but they do not know how it will end or even really who they want. I mean, Mitt is a pretender who will be whomever he needs to be buty he is certainly “electable”, “Presidential” and a “businessman”. Newt made friends with Bill Clinton. Newt made a deal on welfare reform. Newt was forced to resign as leader of the house in scandal. Newt is on his 3rd wife (though family values people are bravely embracing his “repentance”.

Even Glenn Beck does not like Newt. What a nightmare for them all. The establishment does not love Romney. But Newt, they hate Newt. They started to hate Newt 30 years ago. He did it the old fashioned way. He earned it. he alienated EVERYONE! And the Tea Party, what has become the biting, vicious unhappy backbone of the party, which has had their anger and fear coddled by the establishment of the party to unleash at will hates Romney! He is a weak, intellectual, Harvard rich boy who has never been in a real fight. They can’t stand him. When Newt said that he did not want to bloody Obama’s nose but to knock him out... he had them at “knock”. Both sides are wondering how they are going to justify staying in the party and rallying behind a candidate which they cannot stand.


I Miss This Guy!
So tonight I am watching the four Republican candidates and Paul and Santorum look like reasonable guys, regular guys and Gingrich and Romney spent the first 15 minutes bitch slapping each other like teen age girls. When have we seen petulance at this level. The moderators from “The Mainstream Media” seem to be guiding them back to attacking Obama and talking about our countries issues. What a sad display. Now Romney is talking about what the release of his taxes will be tomorrow. They all agree that the best recipe for jobs is that no one be forced to pay any taxes, ever...EVER! All taxes are bad. All government is bad... even though we are running to elected to run government...we will hate ourselves when we do it. Now Romney is making his “I am not going to apologize for success” speech. He is a self made man.

When I look at him he looks like a very successful man who started from a millionaires perch with the best education money could by and a name that certainly did not slam any doors. Santorum... as long as he does not talk about his trademark social issues like the light of reason and measured thought. Now Newt is talking about his contract with Freddy Mac. I read the contract. It does not say anything about what he is supposed to do. That is what stinks about it. That and the fact that he said he performed services as a historian.

I EVEN MISS THIS GUY!
Perhaps the Republicans need to reset the clock and reset the clock and look around. And Romney and Gingrich are once again slapping each other like little petulant girls. They lecture and hector each other. They shoot horses, don’t they? The 4 Horseman of the Apocrypha? Ok...it is 9:03 and I put in my hour watching these guys debate. I think I am done for this election.

Ft. Sumter: The Rise of the "GingFish"

BLOVIATOR IN CHIEF?


Soooooo....Newt. I wanted this because I thought it would be more interesting. It is indeed more interesting. Seeing Newt declare victory with the frightening...and there is no other word but frightening for her... blowing up a new populism from the right was really frightening. I was excited for Newt to win and to shake things up but this guy is an extremely articulate, quick thinking demagogue of the Huey P. Long genre. I love to read about Huey Long, because he is dead and he never got further than Louisiana. The question a guy like Gingrich poses is whether our whole country has essentially devolved into Louisiana 1932. The “GingFish”.

Everybody gather 'round
Loosen up your suspenders
Hunker down on the ground
I'm a cracker
And you are too
But don't I take good care of you
-Randy Newman “The Kingfish”

What is so mind numbing about this is that he is NOT a man of the people. He is a man who stands for himself and his vision of the hour. He changes his vision quicker than he changes wives and I do have to bash his wife once again. I have never heard her speak. To the best of my knowledge she cannot speak. I have read a little about her. She went to Luther College in Decorah Iowa and was a music major and is evidently a very talented musician and a committed Catholic. I admire all those things... but she appears to be a plastic, broken person with creepy, crazy eyes. She scares me like clowns scare me and that is the meanest thing I can say. Now I will leave her.

But I digress. Romney might be too much of a cold fish to be electable. He does not seem to be a street fighter and the Republicans howled again loudly that he is not their guy. After a proper counting in Iowa, he lost. He got killed in South Carolina. Perhaps he will rally back but he clearly is a wide open target for average Joe, Joe the plumber type attacks and whether it is Gingrich or OBama those attacks will come.

Why do we let three little states, all diverse but tiny to have such a loud, almost deafening voice in this process. These states carry population ranks of 30, 42 and 34 respectively. No one is even in the top ½. I had no idea that Iowa was full of evangelicals. That is because it is not. The Republican base in Iowa is full of evangelical conservatives. New Hampshire... do they have Republicans? South Carolina...seriously? South Carolina? Why should they have any voice in anything other than their key historical move of firing the first shot in the civil war. That worked out well, didn’t it? That what last nights primary was, Fort Sumter. It is a battle for the Republican party and it is the evil, final consequence of Nixon’s “southern strategy” to bring the social conservatives into the party...and now they are saying, “IT IS OUR PARTY!” It will be interesting to see if they are right.

Who took on the Standard Oil men
And whipped their ass
Just like he promised he'd do?
Ain't no Standard Oil men gonna run this state
Gonna be run by little folks like me and you

Watching FOX on a Sunday morning the said that Newt won a huge percentage of South Carolina voters who make less than 50k a year. What is a person who makes less than 50k a year doing voting Republican? How does that happen?

Kingfish, Kingfish
Friend of the working man
Kingfish, Kingfish
The Kingfish gonna save this land

The big question that my former party needs to ask itself is how were they left with these choices. I even think that Gingrich, Paul and Romney might be the best of the original pack but what a sad sack collection of people to send forward in the most eminently winnable election for them in years. I think they are going to have to find another person (and it is not Sara Palin) to carry their flag. There would be tremendous momentum for a Chris Christie or Jeb Busch or even that idiot from Indiana Mitch Daniels. They need fresh blood and it might be nice if they did not chum so much blood in the water. The electorate is taking notes, and they are not impressed. Gingrich is not a populist. He is not our friend. The Republican base is the party of the angry white man. Angry people make bad decisions and we just saw the Republicans in South Carolina make a very stupid mistake.

Diner Review: The Hearth Room

Soooo.... In my exhausting, never ending march to cover EVERY breakfast place in St. Louis I am constantly roving the city, eyes peeled in strip malls, shopping centers, basements filled with the undead as I cruise through some time desolate streets at all hours of the day or night, occasionally I come upon something new or at least new to me. Such was the case last week when I ventured out to west county to visit my parents. West County as you all know is a bastion of people who have all centered their lives around “getting a lot more house for their money” and betting that the public schools are better out there. If nothing else I believe they better quality drugs. But I digress. the point is that west county is a soul less bastion of shopping, and national chain food. I know Kirkwood and indeed parts of the City were once pasture but ALL of west county is paved over farmland and the way we have done it for the last 30 years...depresses me. Wow, I digressed again.

The Hearth Room Cafe is in the “Lamp n Lantern Plaza”. The name was quaint when it first was built in the 70s. It was on the corner of Woodsmill and Clayton and sat a little awkwardly behind a building with a 7-11 (now a Pasta House) and a car wash and a bank. There once was a supermarket there, a Kroger I think. When my parents had a spot of financial trouble we moved to Village Green Apartments which are just west of the center and I would tromp through it frequently on my way to buy comic books and 32 oz bottles of Sprite and Nacho cheese Doritos. Good days. My parents moved several times since then but now live in Chesterfield and so I was driving by the shopping center when I saw a sign over the steps of tiered Lamp n Lantern for “The Hearth Room”. I drove around the center and could not find it because you cannot park in front of it. Instead it lies in a “charming” court of shops, 30 yards from any parking. What a great idea. That morning I had already eaten so I did not make the trek.

Still, I vowed to come back and I did so this morning, braving the cold in order to walk the long way from a parking space to the “cafe”. As I walked in I saw a small darkened room of tables on the right. To the left there was a a large, charmless, kind of formal and dimly lit room. Their was indeed a large hearth and hearty gas fired blaze was going, throwing off no heat and even less light on a room that lacked any charm. I stood there for a minute till a waitress finally came out of the kitchen and advised I could “sit anywhere I want”. There were perhaps a dozen people eating there which I found encouraging but the average age was about 65 and at least two patrons had walkers parked around their tables. Still, old people know their breakfasts and I am never one to snub food that is easily chewed.

The menu was unremarkable and seemed to feature omlettes and pancakes and breakfast sandwiches. The waitress was pleasant and attentive. The iced tea....BREWED! And it was good tea, fresh in a place where clearly I was the only one drinking it. I ordered my standard meal of ½ order of biscuits and gravy, side of sausage and...(gasp) the dreaded “breakfast potato”. Frequent readers (all three of you) seem sometimes amused and almost always saddened by my obsession with the humble potato but nothing sends shivers down my spine like the menu item called the “breakfast potato”. WTF is a “breakfast potato”? Is it a particular cut of a potato? I guess I should be grateful because they are giving me a heads up that they do not have real “hash browns” which as we have discussed should always be shredded and skillet fried to perfection. But your reviewer bravely ordered them anyway and considered the venerable St. Louis Post Dispatch and read about Newt Gingich’s bold attempt at an open marriage with his current (totally uncreepy, not crazy eyed or plastic haired) wife Calista and his former wife...after she was diagnosed with MS, who of course replaced the first wife (diagnosed with cancer). What a hoot. Also, Romney appears to not have his tax returns ready for release. I did look around at the Hearth Room patrons, several of whom were speaking loudly to their hearing impaired companions. There was classical music playing and despite my enjoyment of the iced tea and my paper I was annoyed by the decor, the pretensions and I think just by breakfasting in west county.

My meal was pleasantly surprising. the gravy was a little thin but full of sausage pieces although it was topped with some green seasoning which might or might not have been parsley and while suitable for dinner, was inappropriate for breakfast food, especially biscuits and gravy. Similarly on my plate was an orange twist as garnish. Garnish is wrong at breakfast. there...I said it. It is (and if this gets too technical for you I apologize but I am of course a professional need to use the proper vernacular) stupid. The sausage was really good though. properly cooked. A little savory, no spice. I like big flat patties that are more like thin hamburgers. The potatoes were a disappointment but were very edible. the biscuits similarly were appropriately baked and added nice texture with the gravy and when i mixed it all up together it was more than adequate. I think it cost $9.00 with the tip.

Bottom line. Nothing special. Take your mom there, or your dad. Nothing homey, nothing charming and food did not wow. Ambiance sucked and you have to walk a long way from your car. I predict they are out of business by summer (the location is just a bad idea, especially for old people who need to walk in their walkers) and so if you want to give it a try i would get out there now.

6 ½ Slingers On The Ten Scale

New Years Revolution! Resolution... or something

Life...its bigger. Bigger than you and you are not me. Which is a break for you. So I never blog anymore. I am too busy. FEEL SAD FOR ME! My life is too full with work and family and work and friends and work and church and work and traveling and work and reading and work and work. But it is a good time to have work. A good time to have a vocation. Occasionally I post in my Facebook Status Update my favorite work song ever...EVER which is by the great Tom Waits. I am sure I have posted it before in this space:

“You gotta get behind the mule,
In the morning and plow”

It just has some classic lines that just resonate...every time:

“Well the rampaging sons of the widow James
Jack the cutter and the pock marked kid
Had to stand naked at the bottom
Of the cross
And tell the good lord what they did
Tell the good lord what they did.”

Because sooner or later, since we self identify as the most Christian nation on earth, most of us should anticipate having to do just that. What am I going to say? I scrambled for a buck? I... provided for my family? I educated my kids? I drove an excellent car? I lived in a bitching house? I really don’t believe judgment day will be like that. I really don’t believe that I will be judged because that is not what I have been taught. I have been taught that I need to believe, and try and live my life like I believe. Right now in 2012 that means living my life in some kind of grateful way for the fact that someone died for my sins. But living your life like that, might not look any different to anyone watching. Weird.

So what does it feel like to go to work every day. Are you filled with purpose? I know I am more like Tom Waits:

“I'm diggin all the way to China
With a silver spoon
While the hangman fumbles with the noose, boys
The hangman fumbles with the noose.”

Well that might be a little dark. It seems pretty clear to me that what I am expected to do to make a living really stopped working for me a few years ago. So I keep trying to change it. And I keep failing but life has gotten a little more interesting. If your lucky (and even though I bitch like there is no tomorrow I am the luckiest guy in the world) and you keep your eyes open there are some chances that are laid out there (I like to think that God lays em out) to do a couple of good things. Of course I am still a lawyer. I am paid to be a prick but even with that....Waits leaves us with a little hope at the end.

“Pin your ear to the wisdom post
Pin your eye to the line
Never let the weeds get higher
Than the garden
Always keep a sapphire in your mind
Always keep a diamond in your mind.”

I think Jesus said something like that. I don’t think Paul did. He could be kind of a judgy guy. Hold it... I take it back. Paul did have a sapphire and diamond in your mind type line. A little thing we call Phillippians 4-8: 8

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.”

Seems like good advice and hard to remember when you are yelling at someone on the phone are arguing at court. A greater sense of gratefulness for 2012. I know I will not do it all the time but lets make it a goal for me for 2012.

Romney: The Great Pretender, With Apologies To Jackson Browne

ROMNEY
The Pretender












I'm going to rent myself a house
In the shade of the freeway (Pan onto or flash pictures of one of his 3-4 massive houses)
I'm going to pack my lunch in the morning
And go to work each day (now shots of champaign caviar and lobster...and a lunch box)
And when the evening rolls around
I'll go on home and lay my body down (Bedroom of a Ritz Carlton or Fairmount Hotel)
And when the morning light comes streaming in
I'll get up and do it again (Romney coming out on stage)
Amen
Say it again (Romney among a crowd shaking hands)
Amen

I want to know what became of the changes
We waited for love to bring (Pictures of he and wife and family)
Were they only the fitful dreams
Of some greater awakening (Headlines of Kennedy Beats Romney for Senate)
I've been aware of the time going by
They say in the end it's the wink of an eye (Headline of Romney Winning Governor of Massachussets)
And when the morning light comes streaming in
You'll get up and do it again (Headline “Romney announces run for President 2008)
Amen

Caught between the longing for love (Romney Signs Universal healthcare In Massachusetts)
And the struggle for the legal tender (Picture of Bain Capital Logo)
Where the sirens sing and the church bells ring (Picture of Sara Palin)
And the junk man pounds his fender (Picture of Newt Gingrich)
Where the veterans dream of the fight
Fast asleep at the traffic light (Picture of John Mc Cain)
And the children solemnly wait
For the ice cream vendor (Picture of rabid college kids standing in front of Ron Paule)
Out into the cool of the evening
Strolls the pretender (Romney Again if front of Crowd)
He knows that all his hopes and dreams Flash on state maps of Iowa, Connecticutt and South carolina)
Begin and end there (Florida)

Ah the laughter of the lovers
As they run through the night (Bachman and her husband)
Leaving nothing for the others
But to choose off and fight (Rick Perry)
And tear at the world with all their might
While the ships bearing their dreams
Sail out of sight (Herman Cain)

I'm going to find myself a girl
Who can show me what laughter means (Anne Coulter)
And we'll fill in the missing colors (picture of a pink slip)
In each other's paint-by-number dreams (Big Fox Logo)
And then we'll put out dark glasses on (Romney in Sunglasses)
And we'll make love until our strength is gone (Pictures of $$$$ signs)
And when the morning light comes streaming in
We'll get up and do it again ($$$$$$$$$$)
Get it up again (Bain Capital Logo)

I'm going to be a happy idiot (Corporations Are People)
And struggle for the legal tender (Bain Logo)
Where the ads take aim and lay their claim (SUPER PAC)
To the heart and the soul of the spender (Karl Rove)
And believe in whatever may lie
In those things that money can buy (President of the US LOGO)
Thought true love could have been a contender (Olympics Rings)
Are you there?
Say a prayer? (Santorum)
For The Pretender (Romney)
Who started out so young and strong (Young Romney)
Only To Surrender (Fade to black)