Dads 80

My Pop. He turned 80 on Monday. Thats old. Had me when he was 35. I would like to write a book about all the ways my father disappointed me...how he wasn’t there...but I couldn’t. He and me sainted mother had three kids and we are all still around. We are all still struggling with our faith. We are all still raising our families...living in St. Louis, holding down jobs...screwing up...sometimes not screwing up...generally getting along with one another...trying to be marginally productive members of society. I hope...I guess.. to live till 80 but what a blessing it would be to have three kids and seven grand kids and no major public traumas. It is kind of unbelievable. He has had a rough life. he has had a great life. A nice legacy of kids who love him and grand kids who love him.
Loving him has not always been easy. He was a hard successful man who never suffered fools easily. But...God is funny. And along with that great sense of humor God rounds us into form for the purpose he has for our lives. I know this through the privilege of watching God mess with my dad. He gave him an unhappy mom who could not show affection. He gave him an oldest son who wouldn’t listen. He gave him a younger son who would listen but would lie about whether he obeyed. He gave him a daughter and it really does not matter how you package a daughter...they are...daughters. He was wildly successful and retired by the time he was my age. Then he was wildly unsuccessful and had to work again...hard...at a time when he thought he could mail it in. God messed with him...and made him so much better. Made him kinder, gentler and so much more patient.
So we celebrated. His kids and their respective spouses took him out in a limo. Went to the Ritz, and had cocktails, went to Lucas Park and had dinner, went to the Chocolate bar for cocktails and desert...and then to Ameristar and gambled a little. We stayed up late and had a good time.
The next day we all went to Church together and our family had two pews reserved. The pastor acknowledged his birthday and our celebration. It was nice. As part of the sermon the pastor said,
“God loves us just the way we are...and loves us too much to let us stay that way.”
And although he didn’t mean it in that context he made me think of my dad...and me...and really all of us. I whine about my life a lot but when pressed I always tell people I am blessed. One of the reasons I am blessed is because of my family and one of the big reasons my family is so great is because of my dad. He changed...at mid life. He got better. He got nicer. Maybe it could happen to me. Even though it was my dad’s 80th birthday it is still all about me.