I don't like these posts. They lack typos, lack spelling errors and have content. We turn over the KUBE pages to the Voice from The Kavern, the King of Karlsbad...Dan Kukla:
By Dan Kukla
Wake me up when something happens.
I hate saying this about my favorite sporting event but Day 1 was, in a word, one big fat giant yawn. I literally fell asleep while watch games Thursday.
Now six games into Friday and Day 2 doesn’t look like it will be much better.
Where are the upsets? Where are the buzzer beaters? The comebacks, the collapses, the players with funny names and faces making shots you don’t even practice in horse?
WHERE IS THE MADNESS?
You see, I have this system. I don’t touch my brackets for an entire day once they come out. Selection Sunday is reserved for watching Dicky V scream about all the No. 1 seeds he is picking to win and Jay Billas yell about how much more terrible this year’s field is than any other. It’s for watching Bracketology and just taking it all in, getting familiar with the draw, scouting the lay of the land.
Monday is research day. What style does each team play? Who’s hot? Who’s not? Who’s just cute like an animal shelter puppy you like playing with but would never actually take home?
Then comes recycling day. I usually make three trips to the printer on Tuesday, each time picking up around eight fresh brackets to destroy. I start feeling out just how far Cinderella is willing to go.
Wednesday I panic. None of my brackets are anywhere near completion so I just fall back on the basics: pick a champion, pick a Final Four, pick 8-10 first round upsets and blindly fill in the rest while making sure Duke, Kansas and Ohio State lose as early as possible.
Did you catch that? 8-10 upsets. As in way more than two on Day 1 and way more than three by 4:30 p.m. EST on Day 2.
We can’t even get cheap 9 over 8 upsets this year. And it’s not like VCU, Colorado and NC State were really upsets at all. I never saw any lines but it would not surprise me one bit if all three of our so-called Cinderellas were actually favorites.
It would be at least tolerable if we could get some good games but no, just blow out after blow out. Watching Syracuse, Jim Boeheim and his way-too-young-for-him wife sweat it out against UNC Ashville was fun. The Lobos tried their hardest to lose early again. Colorado remembered it now plays in the Pac-12 just a little too late and Cincinnati almost went back to putting the UC in suck after messing with Texas. But those results are usually our average to boring games at this point, not the best.
Right now the Bonnies have a five-point second half lead over Florida State. I’m willing to sacrifice one of my Final 4 teams for a true upset and hopefully a kick start to the tournament as a whole. UNC and Mizzou are both nearing tip time though so maybe I should be careful what I wish for.
I don’t care if my selection system is more flawed then the teams I end up picking. For me all that over analyzing is what makes the week fun. Then the games start and finding out that I picked all the wrong upsets is what makes the tournament fun. Why? Because that means there are upsets. All these chalky blow outs just ruins everything.
I’ll stay awake for this next set of games while two of my rooting interests compete but then it’s back to sleep. Well, actually work. Then sleep. Then then the NCAA Hockey tournament next week for some real March Madness.
Please let me be watching actual sports this Sunday instead of another selection show. I’m sounding the alarm on this tournament. Lehigh, Detroit, Ohio (yes, Miami’s arch rival Ohio; that is how desperate things are)… heck even you too St. Louis as a 9… I’m looking at you to open the blinds, tear off the covers and get this March moving.
Don’t let Duke, Kansas and Michigan hit the snooze.
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