The Who Was Wrong! The Kids Are Decidedly NOT Alright: KUBE 2014

Soooo…. it is that time again.  March brings with it the promise of Spring and pitchers and catchers have reported and we are well into Spring Training and only weeks away from Opening Day!  And I don’t care because today is SELECTION SUNDAY and that means that it is KUBE time again and there is joy in every child’s heart!... accept in the houses of the elderly Mr. Becker and his younger, yet still approaching AARP card compatriot, Mr. Kukla.
We have tried to be good fathers.  God knows we have tried (our wive’s are not so sure) We have attended children’s sporting events, gone to parent teacher conferences, assisted (somewhat ineffectually) with science projects and sent our kids to reasonably decent schools.  We decided several years ago to give our children the option of entering into our little enterprise of KUBE KORP.  Formed in the late 1980’s by my partner and myself KUBE Korp has been a leader in the St. Louis sporting and entertainment business involving Boxing, Poker, Golf, Gin Rummy… the list goes on and on.  We visited with some of the areas more prominent estate planning attorneys and they suggested some estate planning tools and getting the kids slowly transitioning into the business.  This has helped significantly in that young master Kukla was able to provide some cogent kommentary and young master Becker was involved in another enterprise that had something to do with the internets (tubes and wires) and this assisted our somewhat halting transition to the internet age.
So, you can imagine how we were taken aback when in January we received our 2 weeks notice and pink slips and KOBRA notifications from KUBE.  We were summarily fired by the blood of our blood, the flesh of our flesh and shown the door unceremoniously.  Pension? “ I don’t think so”, was the response from their attorneys… that right, their attorneys.  While we considered lawyering up we realized pretty quickly that this Crimean type Koup had been Karried off with military precision.  Passwords changed, accounts changed… like we never existed. I guess this is the way it goes in the digital age.  Thanks Obama.
So, I don’t know whether these Komments will see the light of day.  I am watching Michigan (GO BLUE!) get destroyed by Michigan State as the Field of 68 Solidifies.  My precious Billikens are limping into the Tournament and Mizzou and The Fighting Illini… not so much.  Wichita State wanders in unbeaten, unbowed and relatively untested.  That should be fun to watch but also to see whether Florida is “all that” or whether Louisville and their Whore of Babylon Coach are as good as they would like to tell the world.  Don’t forget about the late Jim Boeheim who has not yet died but has coaching Syracuse brilliantly since I graduated from College and who was dominant early in the year and stands ready for this test.  Personally I am conflicted as to whether I will pick Cal Poly or North Dakota State to go to the Final Four and I pray they are not in the same regional.  Why, because I am old school and that is just the way I roll.
Enjoy this years KUBE.  With the switch to Paypal only (even though you don’t have to have a Paypal account we are going to have a lot of old people who cannot figure out how to play.  That means you're going to have to reach out.  Even with the kids running it, this is still the biggest brackets for the biggest prize in the entire free world and it is time for the KUBE nation to gather again and dominate.  The best thing any of you can do to protest the takeover is to go out and recruit 5 new participants for the KUBE.  I beg you to do this and quoting one of the pathetic characters from the awful movie “Red Dawn”....”AVENGE ME!”

Signs Of The End Times

These are obviously painful dark days my friends and we would be foolish liars to express anything else in these hallowed pages. Up is down, bad is good, hello is goodbye. We have gone down the rabbit hole. These are days when Charles Barkley is considered a "commentator" but even the round mound of rebound is speechless at the carnage being done to Jon Becker's brackets. I was out with he and his lovely fiancee and they were already spending the money with three out of eight possible results leaving him in first. Instead, Louisville folds like a cheap deck chair and Kansas looks..."asleep"? That seems kind. The hated Ohio State is dominating like they were the team thrown together by Haskell Indian Junior College. What can you say about Ohio State other than quote our late, much revered and departed friend Hunter Thompson who pointed out..."The scum also rises." Tell it brother.

So it is second half of Kansas. Barring a miracle Jon Becker is out and KUBE is spared a scandal. The party is Monday night at tip off at Chez Kukla aka The Depot. There will be food. there will be alcohol. For now, this night is grim enough that I am afraid the vodka is coming out and Palm Sunday services are at risk. Please come to Kukla's Monday night. You have all suffered enough.

Lord knows I hate to say this but *holding my nose*...GO JAYHAWKS!

Kukla Fights Back....Alleges "Missing Post"!

KUBAGEDDON! A HUGE BASKETBALL SLAMS INTO EARTHS ATMOSHERE DESTROYING OUR BRAKKETS!

By Dan Kukla

We all do it.

The moment the first high seed falls we all proclaim our brackets to be busted. Since the vast majority of us do not run this pool and thus do not have the power to cheat our way to the top like our current leader, we spend the majority of March letting everyone else know just how much worse our picks are than theirs.

But let’s be honest. Unless you lose a finalist or multiple Final 4 teams it takes a truly disastrous first weekend to truly bust your bracket. I realize that since Mizzou just so happened to be that first big upset this year that many of you really did get knocked out on Day 2, but the general point remains.

Eventually, however, the second weekend rolls around and all hope is truly lost and that couldn’t be more true in 2012. That Ohio State!? Kansas!? Please tell me I didn’t miss the rapture because it feels a lot like the tribulation has begun. Not sure if the giant nut or the ugly made-up bird is the antichrist but I am a little shocked that the (blue) Devils and their rat mascot (or is that their coach? I can never tell) aren’t still around for all this Madness. "Woe, woe, woe to those who dwell on the earth.”

To be fair, I predicted this Armageddon in a set of Komments that were mysteriously not posted so it’s not like I didn’t see it coming. The writing was written plainly on the wall as the Marshall-less Heels struggled just to get by the lowly, scum-of-the-earth Bobcats. Their demise against a real team wasn’t exactly tough to call. Frankly I’m a little irritated that they strung me along for nearly the entire game Sunday before finally letting me know they just don’t have time to invest in a relationship.

I’m talking about basketball, I swear.

And about that mysteriously not posted set of Komments. It seems we have more than one Becker in on a conspiracy at the top. I’d move to kick them out but without Beckers the KUBE becomes The KU. A corrupt pool that combines the names of two stupid families doing stupid things is much better than a pool that combines the names of two evil, detestable and mostly annoying schools doing evil, detestable and mostly annoying things… like ruining the Final 4.

Taking A Break From Hockey....

Soooooo.... what is up with the Kukla Kid? He lives in the desert. I attach for your review a map of the Division I Ice Hockey Programs in the US. The closest is about 578 miles from where young Kukla lives. http://blogs.riverfronttimes.com/gutcheck/2010/03/fish_fry_frenzy_week_5_our_lady_of_guadalupe.php
I mean.... what is wrong with this kid? Posting about hockey suggests at best a chemical imbalance in the brain and at worst a "drug problem". Testing is in order. It is March Madness and as such.... back to basketbalL.

HATE THE JAYHAWK! DON'T HATE THE GAME!

Obviously scandal has rocked the KUBE Nation with new webmaster extraordinaire, Jon Becker, suddenly, out of nowhere taking the lead with his "Random" bracket. While I do not mean to be coarse (it is so unlike me), random my ass! The kid is a cheater from a family of cheaters and whomever put someone like Jon in charge should likely be shot...or worse. The kid is bad news and though he does not obsess over college ice hockey, this attempt at stealing the KUBE might be worse. KUBE has taken 1/2 of the prize money and hired the accounting firm of KPMG to conduct a komprehensive audit. We will get to the bottom of this.

After today's games we will know our Final Four. Right now we have Louisville, and the HATED, Ohio State University. I am going to start telling people I graduated from THE Texas Christian University and was summarily removed from THE Valparaiso University. We will see who or whom is delivered to us today to round out the Kontest. Kentucky and North Karolina remain the only two 1 seed still alive.

Now a quick review of the standings. Observations:
1. Jon Becker being in the lead makes me question the existence of a just and loving God.
2. Jay Vance? In Second? Jay has been playing the KUBE from Omaha for years but we were considering developing a "special" brakket for kids like Jay who have, through their KUBE picks shown themselves to be.... somewhat impaired.
3. We have already kommented on Max Shapiro and absent an apocalypse the kid looks done, having pick Syracuse, but he fought the good fight and he likely needs to fly to norther New York and question some registrars about how you manage to not keep one of the best athletes in the nation academically eligible. How does that happen?
4. I am very concerned about Zac Hahn. I do not know him but for lack of a better term he is currently lurking in 8th with Ohio HATED State.
5. If Baylor comes up big lookout fro Afghan Diplomacy rocketing up from 80th place.
6. No one has Louisville that I could find in a quick scan of brakkets.

I just watched Kentucky shred poor Baylor. So much for Afghan Diplomacy. lets see what the KU Game has to offer. We still hate the Jayhawks.

LONG SHOT AWARD WINNER ANNOUNCED!

There has been a lot of talk about the Long Shot Award this year. Maybe too much talk. The Long Shot Award Winner for the KUBE 2012 is MAX Shaprio! We do not, however know how much he has won because (and this is a shocker) Kukla is on vacation on Arizona and the cash and Pay Pal money is mysteriously with him and he needs some time to "reconcile" the accounts. In regard to Max as i said earlier he is a long tim player of the KUBE but based on his facebook pictures KUBE will once again be in instituting random drug tests for participants. I am NOT saying that Max is doping. It would belittle the kontest to do so but as St. Ronald told us in regard to the Russians...."trust, but verify". Sage advice indeed.

I don't know where Dan Kukla's observations have been lately. There was some discussion of his donning some animal fur and grabbing some honey and wandering in the desert for a while when he heard of the North carolina injury. We need you back Dan! I can blather but people have come to expect...kontent...without typos.

I am working with KUBE Management and our Phoenix office as well as our web partner BOOMREACTIVE.com (go there now) in order to publish a dead beat list. Kukla was careful to advise that "Max has paid". That makes him different than a lot of you mokes. My plans are as follows:
1. Publish a list of late payees.
2. Call your parents (if living, use a Quija Board if not) and advise that their child is a deadbeat.
3. Go to your kids school and heckle them regarding your failure to pay.
4. Report you to the credit reporting agencies.
5. Destroy your life.
Get your money in people. No time like the present.

Congratulations MAX!

NCAA Sunday Knight Knews & Knotes

Sooooooooo....Sunday night. I have had some bad Sunday nights in March. returning from Vegas after the first few days. Feeling broke. being broke. Brackets broke. Heart...broke. So I am reasonable comfortable with March Madness Desolation Effect (MMDE) though it has hit me pretty hard this year. MMDE is an insidious disease with no known cure. It manifests itself with depression and exhaustion and a general loss of a will to live. For many who play the KUBE Brackets, sadly these symptoms cannot be distinguished from your every day life but many (several) of the 400 plus KUBE players are reasonable high functioning, non-drooling, in school or have jobs and (arguably) productive members of society. For them seeing their brackets burn (and I just finally did actually burn mine) is devastating.

For me this year has been a very difficult one and today particularly cruel. The initial Mizzou loss was a disaster but it was cleaned up for me by Duke and Notre Dame losing coupled with a Billiken win. I thought I had something going perhaps with Vandy and the future while not being bright was at least not a the relentless, vast wasteland of turnovers, airballs and the steady, inexorable advance of the hated number 1 seeds. This situation not being bad enough it is exacerbated by the asinine, insufferable and unjustifiable Miller 64 commercials. I would rather watch Charlie Sheen hit 3 pointers all day long for Ohio State and I hate Charlie Sheen and hate Ohio State.

When I woke up this morning my 5 brackets (three wantonbeckers, a big boy and one for mom (Doris Mae though I misspelled her name) were merely a disaster. My average on those 5... wait for it...298! My wife was in at 217 and my daughter, though she picked Mizzou was at 10. But, I thought, perhaps today would be better....NOT! not a lot of upsets. I guess I am heartened for Ohio since they are not Ohio State. My Billiken loss was really crushing and to see Majerus rearing up was a little bit of a nightmare. Not sure how much more I can stand this evening.

My advice for you, my fellow KUBITES is to make sure you are not alone. Dring a few solid glasses of bourbon. Soak in a hot tub. If you have any weed you definitely need to smoke it. Grab Ayn Rand's "Atlas Shrugged", use it to balance the wobbly table in the kitchen, and go to bed.

I will leave you with an excerpt from Bernie who quoted a teary Conklin (very hard to watch): "Coach has done so much," Conklin said. "Being his first recruiting class, he told me that we were going to help him build something special here. And it felt like this year it really came together. We were able to take what Coach taught us.
"He’s a great coach. I couldn’t imagine playing for a better coach, a better person. He doesn’t just teach you about basketball; it’s about life. And he’s a great figure for the community and for the city, and he’s really brought St. Louis basketball to where it is right now, bringing in great guys.
"We all love each other in that locker room. And he just knows how to read a person and he brings us all together and we buy into his system because it works, and it brought us this far this year. And you know they’ve got a great nucleus coming back next year and they’re going to be a really tough team."


Read more: http://www.stltoday.com/miklasz-billikens-make-majerus-proud/article_2fcf3fd2-715e-11e1-b339-001a4bcf6878.html#ixzz1pWTaPIlA

The King Of Karlsbad!

By Dan Kukla

So there’s this girl.

At work. Her desk is just two down from mine.

I can’t stop thinking about her.

Last year she picked Connecticut as her March Madness champion and won every pool she was in. A girl like that is a rare find so this year I finally worked up the courage to ask her out to the KUBE. She accepted… via facebook. Man I’m smooth.

Now she’s got Indiana all the way. I must admit holding in laughter when I saw that pick. A team that relies completely on the fickle art of three-point shooting? That can only win at home? That hasn’t made the Sweet 16 in a decade?

To win it all?

Now she’s tied for 43rd after Day 3 while my brackets are busy leading the bottom half of the pool. Who’s laughing now?

But this is why I can’t stop thinking about her. I must know her secret. How does she come up with these dark horse champions?

“I just go with my heart,” she says. Done: Homer Derby checking in at 284. That clearly can’t be the full explanation. Or maybe I just need a new heart.

When Matlin Smith told me about picking Indiana as her champion I remembered what happened last year and went back to see if I should change my thinking on the Hoosiers. I just didn’t see it. In fact, I didn’t even see them making it out of the first weekend. I loved both VCU and Wichita state as Sweet 16 picks and all “just going with my heart” aside, I legitimately thought New Mexico State would pull off the upset over Indiana anyway.

THEY DON’T WIN AWAY FROM ASSEMBLY HALL! THEY ONLY SHOOT 3’s! It screams of an obvious early exit, especially when paired with three beautiful Cinderellas.

So Matlin’s UConn pick in 2011 was discarded as fluke luck and I moved forward with my much wiser selections.

As the only KUBE entrant with Indiana on the final line and now a strong point base to build from, just an appearance in the championship (and maybe even just a Final 4 run) from the No. 4 seeded Hoosiers will put her in contention. If Indiana wins it all she is virtually guaranteed to do the same.

Let’s be clear. This is not your average girl that wins pools by selecting her favorite color schemes, mascots and shopping towns when filling out a bracket. Matlin actually watches basketball and picks teams she thinks will win.

Saturday she told me she wakes up every morning thinking about her pick Indiana. Who are they playing? Will they win? How much money will I steal from all these losers this year? (OK, I made that last one up).

While the Hoosiers were busy pulling off a Houdini act against VCU to prevent another “Shaka,” Matlin told me that she is not allowed to watch because it makes her teams lose. She finished her work and promptly rushed out of the office right after Indiana took a late lead and right before they later snatched victory from the jaws of defeat.

Really? VCU misses two free throws that would have put them up 5 with a minute left? Indiana converts a three-point play at the other end to tie and then wins after a blocked shot bounces right to an open Hoosier on the baseline – a player who then made his only shot of the second half? VCU misses an open 3 at the buzzer?

What kind of black magic is this? Matlin not only has superstitions but they actually work! Told you this lady is a rare find.

After giving this some serious thought, her success can only be attributed to one thing: her company’s superior sports department. The Current-Argus is clearly where she gets all her sports information and this has to be her edge. No else picked Indiana so she must have come up with the Hoosiers as her champion by reading a publication no one else reads – or at least respects.

As such, Matlin Smith’s entry will from now on be referred to as the Current-Argus entry. Any and all winnings will be shared accordingly.

Go Hoosiers!

Kube-KU

Bracketology
Billikens win, Tigers lose
On to Saturday

Please submit your Kube-Kus to wantonbecker@mac.com

***
Soooooo....that was quite day. Two epic upsets within three hours. The heart of the nation in fly over country shattered and the basketball elites of Carolina humbled. But enough of the bad. These bracket busters are personal but have no effect on the over all standings of this fine kontest. No one, in the nearly six thousand people playing the KUBE this year had Mizzou losing and only one person had Lehigh winning. Her name escapes me and we will have to give her props later but with the mentally ill that can be enabling so we need to be careful.

Lets not focus on the bad. Our beautiful St. Louis University Billikens (they are of course a Catholic Institution, "Our Lady of the Elegant Mascot) won. They won a pretty solid match up against a physically superior Memphis squad. I had one eye witness at the Columbus Arena who said the first half was "boring" but that is because the Billikens have the 8th best defense in the Country. You have to love Rich Majerus. He recruited kids he could coach and has coached them to play great team basketball. I don't kid myself that they can knock off a powerhouse like Michigan State. I am sure Lehigh and Norfolk State didn't kid themselves either. Sometimes hard work and good coaching win the day. We will see. One thing we did see was that Mizzou's Haith was not ready for prime time. Deer in the headlights. No answers when faced with the puzzle of phyicality, rebounding and suddenly poor shot selection. Next year will be a real test. Fortunately it will be in that new patsy conference.

Notre Dame lost. Happy.

Temple lost. Sad. I wanted to pull out John Cheney's ghost though I am hoping he is still alive.

I need a Boheim stumble and a Vandy surge. On to Saturday!

get those haikus in now!

Point/Counterpoint: Tiger Trauma

One of the advantages of having the Voice From The Kavern, The Sage of The Desert, The Teller of the Tumbleweeds and me is that in cases of drama, trauma and... for lack of a more literate or journalistic term, bad stuff you can now get two opinions. We will start off with Kukla's POINT We All Enjoy The Drama of March and are not permanently damaged by the Tiger Loss:
Post Mizzou

Ooooooooooooooooooookay, now I'm really upset.
And I also realize that me previous post today will direct all blame amongst KUBErs for the Mizzou loss squarely at me. Yup, I jinxed them. It doesn't matter if you're the sort that believes in that kind of stuff, I did. Didn't just write a column begging for more upsets but even mentioned the upcoming Mizzou game and everything.
To top it all off, I even had my only Mizzou shirt hanging in my closet, saving it for Sunday. Putting it on at the under 12 TV timeout probably just served to seal the Tigers fate.
Hopefully by now you've finished you sulking. If you are actually a Mizzou student/grad or grew up in Columbia, you are permitted to sulk for the rest of the month. But for the majority of us, your sulk time expired a quarter of the way into the SLU game.
I don't care how far you had the Tigers going in your brackets. It way too early to claim this single game cost you any amount of winnings. My homer derby bracket is pretty much torched already as expected and I am not in the least bit concerned.
I asked for some Madness, got exactly what I wanted and... let me tell you a secret... LOVED IT!
For full disclosure, yes, I was a pouty face for all of those final minutes as Mizzou imploded and NFSU hit every shot it even thought about much less took. Just ask my wife. She'll tell you what a miserable bumb I was, how I drug my feet and hung my head all the way out the door on the way to work.
But you have to admit, this is why we love March. The trill of victory AND the agony of defeat - as long as it comes packed in a wildly unexpected manner - it what makes this tournament so great. I am much more satisfied with a completely busted bracket and a historic upset at the expense of my own rooting interest than another, my goodness another freaking ho-hum blow out by a favorite.
I just couldn't take it anymore.
So here's to the start of March Madness. Even if it came a little (OK, a lot) late and even if it came crushing through our brackets and favorite team.
If you don't take kindly to my outlook, well I certainly take kindly to your feedback. Just throw it in my pile of hate mail with all the other letters addressed "Current-Argus Sports Editor." Just please be a little more creative than a parent/grandparent of a high school athlete.
And to save you some time, ink and space... yes, I'm happy.

***

COUNTERPOINT: This loss badly damaged myself, my family and an entire state:

Soooooooo...(this is different than oooooooooooookay. To quote the epic southern rock band The Drive by Truckers, "Hell no I ain't happy". That was painful loss. I watched it from my bed rather than in a bar due to a general malaise and lingering condition that seems to be some combination of the consumption and possibly syphilis.... who knows? In any case I was in a physically and mentally weak state. The prior evening I had to retire before the last game and was restlessly anticipating Fridays games with Mizzou and SLU. I picked against SLU in my brackets because I knew I would be so pleased with their victory. I picked the Tigers in every bracket because like Romney...they were...inevitable.

So I watched in disbelief as they were badly outplayed by Norfolk State and on Kyle O'Quinn (black Irish?) Frank Haith sulked around the sideline like a man lost in a dream and he had no answers for the game like he had no answer for K-State. Outplayed and put coached the number 3 ranked team in the nation went down in flames and a minor, red, flyover State went silent. I am getting too old for this. I have bitterness issues and if Kukla were here I would punch him in his little commentator nose. I believe we ALL should take him up on his offer and write letters to his editor, hate letter. really, really nasty hate letters. Does anyone write letters anymore. This Kukla kid has got to be stopped.

Letters To the Editor
Carlsbad Current-Argus
620 S. Main St.
P.O. Box 1629
Carlsbad, NM 88221-1629

Nobody likes a good loser. Especially here at KUBE. And I want to be clear, it is Dan's fault. That failure to put on his Mizzou gear until 9 minutes were left...totally unforgivable. Totally.

The Sage of The Desert

I don't like these posts. They lack typos, lack spelling errors and have content. We turn over the KUBE pages to the Voice from The Kavern, the King of Karlsbad...Dan Kukla:

By Dan Kukla
Wake me up when something happens.
I hate saying this about my favorite sporting event but Day 1 was, in a word, one big fat giant yawn. I literally fell asleep while watch games Thursday.

Now six games into Friday and Day 2 doesn’t look like it will be much better.
Where are the upsets? Where are the buzzer beaters? The comebacks, the collapses, the players with funny names and faces making shots you don’t even practice in horse?
WHERE IS THE MADNESS?

You see, I have this system. I don’t touch my brackets for an entire day once they come out. Selection Sunday is reserved for watching Dicky V scream about all the No. 1 seeds he is picking to win and Jay Billas yell about how much more terrible this year’s field is than any other. It’s for watching Bracketology and just taking it all in, getting familiar with the draw, scouting the lay of the land.

Monday is research day. What style does each team play? Who’s hot? Who’s not? Who’s just cute like an animal shelter puppy you like playing with but would never actually take home?

Then comes recycling day. I usually make three trips to the printer on Tuesday, each time picking up around eight fresh brackets to destroy. I start feeling out just how far Cinderella is willing to go.

Wednesday I panic. None of my brackets are anywhere near completion so I just fall back on the basics: pick a champion, pick a Final Four, pick 8-10 first round upsets and blindly fill in the rest while making sure Duke, Kansas and Ohio State lose as early as possible.

Did you catch that? 8-10 upsets. As in way more than two on Day 1 and way more than three by 4:30 p.m. EST on Day 2.
We can’t even get cheap 9 over 8 upsets this year. And it’s not like VCU, Colorado and NC State were really upsets at all. I never saw any lines but it would not surprise me one bit if all three of our so-called Cinderellas were actually favorites.
It would be at least tolerable if we could get some good games but no, just blow out after blow out. Watching Syracuse, Jim Boeheim and his way-too-young-for-him wife sweat it out against UNC Ashville was fun. The Lobos tried their hardest to lose early again. Colorado remembered it now plays in the Pac-12 just a little too late and Cincinnati almost went back to putting the UC in suck after messing with Texas. But those results are usually our average to boring games at this point, not the best.
Right now the Bonnies have a five-point second half lead over Florida State. I’m willing to sacrifice one of my Final 4 teams for a true upset and hopefully a kick start to the tournament as a whole. UNC and Mizzou are both nearing tip time though so maybe I should be careful what I wish for.

I don’t care if my selection system is more flawed then the teams I end up picking. For me all that over analyzing is what makes the week fun. Then the games start and finding out that I picked all the wrong upsets is what makes the tournament fun. Why? Because that means there are upsets. All these chalky blow outs just ruins everything.

I’ll stay awake for this next set of games while two of my rooting interests compete but then it’s back to sleep. Well, actually work. Then sleep. Then then the NCAA Hockey tournament next week for some real March Madness.

Please let me be watching actual sports this Sunday instead of another selection show. I’m sounding the alarm on this tournament. Lehigh, Detroit, Ohio (yes, Miami’s arch rival Ohio; that is how desperate things are)… heck even you too St. Louis as a 9… I’m looking at you to open the blinds, tear off the covers and get this March moving.
Don’t let Duke, Kansas and Michigan hit the snooze.

Brakket Knotes Friday Morning Edition!

Looking at the KUBE Stats this desolate but balmy Friday morning in the Lou, one is filled with a sense of awe (in my case aw shit). My best bracket is currently tied for 123rd and my worst weighs in at 399...barely on the board at all. Every year at this time I kick myself for not having advertised an option to have yourself removed from the kontestant list for an additional 10 bucks. In my case, right now, money well spent.

As the KUBE has grown to it’s kurrent unsustainable size we have ended up with people KUBE management is either totally unfamiliar with or because of alzheimers, booze and drugs we have forgotten who (or whom) they are. Such is the case with our initial standings (after one day). Brooke Sanders or Sanders Brooke as we know her is in the lead tied with Kristopher (with a k, perfect) Eubanks. If you are in the lead after Friday please submit full biographical sketch and advise as to how you entered the KUBE, divined your picks and... tell us if you were a tree, what kind of tree you would be.

The first familiar name to this writer is Andi Emke in at 6. For some reason she did NOT pick Missouri to win it all. Wait till I tell her father of this betrayal. Jane Heine (the brains behind a couple of guys at Moneta) along with Tom (the old one) O Meara represent for our favorite planning empire. For all I know there are several more on the list but since the restraining order Don got against me I am not longer allowed within 500 yards of the building. Awkward. A lot of people question exactly why that happened but there was an incident on Don’s balcony with... well let’s just...mistakes were made.

Celebrity Catholic and sometimes Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum came in at 31. Good job Ricky!

Henry the Cat in at 22.

The formerly big deal “Blue Horshoe” only entered once this year and is currently punished at 105th place.

The Kissam Family... perenial contenders are well represented in the top 100. Not so much for Papa Luke...limping in at 137.

Kube Kommentator extraordinaire...Dan Kukla komes in at 175 on day one proving that there is not always a lot to be said for a prophet in the desert.

Afghani Diplomaci at 234 (yes that will work out)

In the cat fight of the century the KUBE wives are going head to head for the first time with Sandy Becker tied at 245 and Maria...stomping her currently at 65th place.

Former Champ Adam Reed at 73. Long way home from there.

In a surprise from the grave the late Lowell George of the Band Little Feat is at 253!

And finally...tied for last...Winstroer (the family that coined the phrases “I don’t mid if I do” and the klassik, “Sure I will have another” and Laura (yes I married poorly and yes DON IS OUT OF TOWN AGAIN!) Hessel.

This is quite a group and it was a heck of a first day with top seeds holding up in 14 of the 16 games. More today. If there is anyone you would like us to pick on...please advise by emailing wantobecker@mac.com.

KUBE FIANLE!

Sooooo.... The Donald and Mrs. The Donald have promised an opulent spread tomorrow for the annual KUBE Bankwet. Last year we had over 200 Kontestants at Chez Kukla and the merriment was a palpable, tangible thing. It really was. People are still talking about DavidKowert and Johnny (Chico) Winstroer leg wrestling on the foosball table in the basement of the Kukla depot. Tonight we did a dry run of the buffet, making sure it laid out the way we wanted. It is pictured above. the best chefs were flown in from Europe and Togo and tomorrow evening should be a bacchanalia of truly epik proportions. Here is a short lift of just some of the items on the Buffet being prepared by The Mrs. Donald:
Steamship Roast Beef
Standing Rib Road
Prime Rib
Rump Roast
Chuck Roast
Filet Mignon
Strip Steaks
Skirt Steak
Flank Steak
Pot Roast
Hambugers
Beef Pot Pies
Beef Stew
AND LOBSTER!
And potato chips!
It should be a hoot.
If Konnektikut wins than we have a tie between Abam Reed and Rob (the bod) Kukla which will go to a tie breaker. It does not matter whether you are over or under on your final point total. Closest wins. If Butler wins...than Rob Kukla takes it all. If you are Kurious, Rob is the Donalds older, better looking brother. Adam Reed our other potential winner is a former member of Glendale Lutheran Church, Mizzou graduate and he married a woman much better looking than he is. Some other people are also in the hunt for 2nd and 3rd but no one cares about losers in the KUBE. No matter who finishes first they will have 250 more points than Michalak, Hunter. Good job there. I think four different people had Konnentikut winning it all but Adam Reed is the leader and his 92 point jump will vault him to first. Everyone else is...maxxed out.

Soooooo....Chez Kukla...The Depot! Tomorrow night. 7:30.

I will do my best to make even Stupider than in the past.

BUTLER Bulldogs: Greatest Tournament Ever

Adam Reed or a Kukla relative. The best NCAA Tournament ever and perhaps the worst possible KUBE Klassik result. Very sad for my boy, the Mango Squash and all my friends who are UK supporters. Very happy for the Butler Bulldogs. The Horizon League... Triumphant! That is all for tonight.

Everyone should make plans to go to the depot on Monday night for the finals. Kukla has promised quite a spread.

KUBE MADNESS! EARLY PUSH TO 150 ENTRIES

Sooooo It is all good. Stupid people doing stupid things. Each year you get to be stupid with us for a few weeks. What a treat for you. We might not hit 500 entries. The techno number geeks on Kukla's skwad say the trend numbers are all wrong. ALL WRONG. You heard it here first. Last year I was reviewing my notes and we had 230 entries. We must smash that this year. Last years winner John Winstroer took his winnings and went on a huge year long binge. There was talk of banishing him from this years tournament but according to his wife this is the biggest thing in his life" He is now talking THREEPEAT before he has even won his second kontest. Who are we to deny him his fun.

People are already starting to RSVP for the season ending bash at the depot. Kukla has promised a huge array of food, beverages and entertainment. I have already spoken with Maria and gotten dibs on one of the kids empty bedrooms. What they don't know is that I might never leave. I urge you all to spend Monster Monday at the depot. The KUBE nation needs to come together for it's annual Bacchanalia. Last year there were.... several of us. This year there might even be....chips. But I don't want to lure you in with grand promises. I am just saying I would go to the Depot just for a chance to use the bathrooms there. The mens room attendant is very polite.

So far no one has been able to make changes in their busy schedule to watch the opening tip at 11:20 tomorrow with me. I don't know if it is the threat of my company, the grim specter of beer and mini tacos, or, the threat of my company but right now it looks like like I will be sitting alone, sobbing quietly to myself, somewhere in the city as Florida BYU tips, followed a few minutes later by Old Dominion and the hated Fighting Irish and then Robert Morris v. Villanova. I have no love for Florida or BYU but will give the requisite cheer when the ball is tipped, on behalf of all of you automatons with your jobs and your homes and your families. Not that i am bitter. I am not like that at all.

Tomorrow.... watch out for the Spiders from Richmond.

GET THOSE PICKS IN!

KUBE STAFFERS SEEN HERE PREPARING FOR TIP OFF!

Billikin Madness! Saint Louis University Begins It's Era

OK.... It is time to get on the bandwagon. It is past time. I do not know what my Billikins. Rick Majerus came here three years ago and everyone thought... well this is weird. We built a new arena named after a Jewish guy who SLU graduated who donated a shit load of money and everyone thought...well that is weird too. They sold seats in the new arena and priced marginally unsuccessful season ticket holders like myself (19 years) out of the market and some of us...well that is not weird but it sucks. Majerus played with the kids recruited by his presecessor and frankly did pretty well. 16-15 and 18-14... not too bad.

Now he has a team where the oldest players are 2nd years and the majority of the team is Freshman and they are at 18 wins and tonight are playing against the best team in the Atlantic Ten for their 19th win and the future appears to be here. As I type my Bills are down by 9 to Xavier. We might not get in the NCAA if we do not win the A-10 tournament but what an awesome job Majerus has done building a team at an academically rigorous, urban, Jesuit school in St. Louis Missouri.

Next year should be awesome but this year has already been really unbelievable. They might make the tournament and if they do not they are surely in the N.I.T. and they are so young. they are still making stupid young mistakes and they are still dominating the best mid major conference in all the land when they play at home and are more then holding their own on the road.

I am ready to get some people together and invest in tickets agin next year. Get on the bandwagon. Have your people call my people.