First Round Analysis: Kube-Ku

Dave Kowert 412
Jon Becker 411
Music to my ears

Kube-KU

Bracketology
Billikens win, Tigers lose
On to Saturday

Please submit your Kube-Kus to wantonbecker@mac.com

***
Soooooo....that was quite day. Two epic upsets within three hours. The heart of the nation in fly over country shattered and the basketball elites of Carolina humbled. But enough of the bad. These bracket busters are personal but have no effect on the over all standings of this fine kontest. No one, in the nearly six thousand people playing the KUBE this year had Mizzou losing and only one person had Lehigh winning. Her name escapes me and we will have to give her props later but with the mentally ill that can be enabling so we need to be careful.

Lets not focus on the bad. Our beautiful St. Louis University Billikens (they are of course a Catholic Institution, "Our Lady of the Elegant Mascot) won. They won a pretty solid match up against a physically superior Memphis squad. I had one eye witness at the Columbus Arena who said the first half was "boring" but that is because the Billikens have the 8th best defense in the Country. You have to love Rich Majerus. He recruited kids he could coach and has coached them to play great team basketball. I don't kid myself that they can knock off a powerhouse like Michigan State. I am sure Lehigh and Norfolk State didn't kid themselves either. Sometimes hard work and good coaching win the day. We will see. One thing we did see was that Mizzou's Haith was not ready for prime time. Deer in the headlights. No answers when faced with the puzzle of phyicality, rebounding and suddenly poor shot selection. Next year will be a real test. Fortunately it will be in that new patsy conference.

Notre Dame lost. Happy.

Temple lost. Sad. I wanted to pull out John Cheney's ghost though I am hoping he is still alive.

I need a Boheim stumble and a Vandy surge. On to Saturday!

get those haikus in now!

Point/Counterpoint: Tiger Trauma

One of the advantages of having the Voice From The Kavern, The Sage of The Desert, The Teller of the Tumbleweeds and me is that in cases of drama, trauma and... for lack of a more literate or journalistic term, bad stuff you can now get two opinions. We will start off with Kukla's POINT We All Enjoy The Drama of March and are not permanently damaged by the Tiger Loss:
Post Mizzou

Ooooooooooooooooooookay, now I'm really upset.
And I also realize that me previous post today will direct all blame amongst KUBErs for the Mizzou loss squarely at me. Yup, I jinxed them. It doesn't matter if you're the sort that believes in that kind of stuff, I did. Didn't just write a column begging for more upsets but even mentioned the upcoming Mizzou game and everything.
To top it all off, I even had my only Mizzou shirt hanging in my closet, saving it for Sunday. Putting it on at the under 12 TV timeout probably just served to seal the Tigers fate.
Hopefully by now you've finished you sulking. If you are actually a Mizzou student/grad or grew up in Columbia, you are permitted to sulk for the rest of the month. But for the majority of us, your sulk time expired a quarter of the way into the SLU game.
I don't care how far you had the Tigers going in your brackets. It way too early to claim this single game cost you any amount of winnings. My homer derby bracket is pretty much torched already as expected and I am not in the least bit concerned.
I asked for some Madness, got exactly what I wanted and... let me tell you a secret... LOVED IT!
For full disclosure, yes, I was a pouty face for all of those final minutes as Mizzou imploded and NFSU hit every shot it even thought about much less took. Just ask my wife. She'll tell you what a miserable bumb I was, how I drug my feet and hung my head all the way out the door on the way to work.
But you have to admit, this is why we love March. The trill of victory AND the agony of defeat - as long as it comes packed in a wildly unexpected manner - it what makes this tournament so great. I am much more satisfied with a completely busted bracket and a historic upset at the expense of my own rooting interest than another, my goodness another freaking ho-hum blow out by a favorite.
I just couldn't take it anymore.
So here's to the start of March Madness. Even if it came a little (OK, a lot) late and even if it came crushing through our brackets and favorite team.
If you don't take kindly to my outlook, well I certainly take kindly to your feedback. Just throw it in my pile of hate mail with all the other letters addressed "Current-Argus Sports Editor." Just please be a little more creative than a parent/grandparent of a high school athlete.
And to save you some time, ink and space... yes, I'm happy.

***

COUNTERPOINT: This loss badly damaged myself, my family and an entire state:

Soooooooo...(this is different than oooooooooooookay. To quote the epic southern rock band The Drive by Truckers, "Hell no I ain't happy". That was painful loss. I watched it from my bed rather than in a bar due to a general malaise and lingering condition that seems to be some combination of the consumption and possibly syphilis.... who knows? In any case I was in a physically and mentally weak state. The prior evening I had to retire before the last game and was restlessly anticipating Fridays games with Mizzou and SLU. I picked against SLU in my brackets because I knew I would be so pleased with their victory. I picked the Tigers in every bracket because like Romney...they were...inevitable.

So I watched in disbelief as they were badly outplayed by Norfolk State and on Kyle O'Quinn (black Irish?) Frank Haith sulked around the sideline like a man lost in a dream and he had no answers for the game like he had no answer for K-State. Outplayed and put coached the number 3 ranked team in the nation went down in flames and a minor, red, flyover State went silent. I am getting too old for this. I have bitterness issues and if Kukla were here I would punch him in his little commentator nose. I believe we ALL should take him up on his offer and write letters to his editor, hate letter. really, really nasty hate letters. Does anyone write letters anymore. This Kukla kid has got to be stopped.

Letters To the Editor
Carlsbad Current-Argus
620 S. Main St.
P.O. Box 1629
Carlsbad, NM 88221-1629

Nobody likes a good loser. Especially here at KUBE. And I want to be clear, it is Dan's fault. That failure to put on his Mizzou gear until 9 minutes were left...totally unforgivable. Totally.

The Sage of The Desert

I don't like these posts. They lack typos, lack spelling errors and have content. We turn over the KUBE pages to the Voice from The Kavern, the King of Karlsbad...Dan Kukla:

By Dan Kukla
Wake me up when something happens.
I hate saying this about my favorite sporting event but Day 1 was, in a word, one big fat giant yawn. I literally fell asleep while watch games Thursday.

Now six games into Friday and Day 2 doesn’t look like it will be much better.
Where are the upsets? Where are the buzzer beaters? The comebacks, the collapses, the players with funny names and faces making shots you don’t even practice in horse?
WHERE IS THE MADNESS?

You see, I have this system. I don’t touch my brackets for an entire day once they come out. Selection Sunday is reserved for watching Dicky V scream about all the No. 1 seeds he is picking to win and Jay Billas yell about how much more terrible this year’s field is than any other. It’s for watching Bracketology and just taking it all in, getting familiar with the draw, scouting the lay of the land.

Monday is research day. What style does each team play? Who’s hot? Who’s not? Who’s just cute like an animal shelter puppy you like playing with but would never actually take home?

Then comes recycling day. I usually make three trips to the printer on Tuesday, each time picking up around eight fresh brackets to destroy. I start feeling out just how far Cinderella is willing to go.

Wednesday I panic. None of my brackets are anywhere near completion so I just fall back on the basics: pick a champion, pick a Final Four, pick 8-10 first round upsets and blindly fill in the rest while making sure Duke, Kansas and Ohio State lose as early as possible.

Did you catch that? 8-10 upsets. As in way more than two on Day 1 and way more than three by 4:30 p.m. EST on Day 2.
We can’t even get cheap 9 over 8 upsets this year. And it’s not like VCU, Colorado and NC State were really upsets at all. I never saw any lines but it would not surprise me one bit if all three of our so-called Cinderellas were actually favorites.
It would be at least tolerable if we could get some good games but no, just blow out after blow out. Watching Syracuse, Jim Boeheim and his way-too-young-for-him wife sweat it out against UNC Ashville was fun. The Lobos tried their hardest to lose early again. Colorado remembered it now plays in the Pac-12 just a little too late and Cincinnati almost went back to putting the UC in suck after messing with Texas. But those results are usually our average to boring games at this point, not the best.
Right now the Bonnies have a five-point second half lead over Florida State. I’m willing to sacrifice one of my Final 4 teams for a true upset and hopefully a kick start to the tournament as a whole. UNC and Mizzou are both nearing tip time though so maybe I should be careful what I wish for.

I don’t care if my selection system is more flawed then the teams I end up picking. For me all that over analyzing is what makes the week fun. Then the games start and finding out that I picked all the wrong upsets is what makes the tournament fun. Why? Because that means there are upsets. All these chalky blow outs just ruins everything.

I’ll stay awake for this next set of games while two of my rooting interests compete but then it’s back to sleep. Well, actually work. Then sleep. Then then the NCAA Hockey tournament next week for some real March Madness.

Please let me be watching actual sports this Sunday instead of another selection show. I’m sounding the alarm on this tournament. Lehigh, Detroit, Ohio (yes, Miami’s arch rival Ohio; that is how desperate things are)… heck even you too St. Louis as a 9… I’m looking at you to open the blinds, tear off the covers and get this March moving.
Don’t let Duke, Kansas and Michigan hit the snooze.

Brakket Knotes Friday Morning Edition!

Looking at the KUBE Stats this desolate but balmy Friday morning in the Lou, one is filled with a sense of awe (in my case aw shit). My best bracket is currently tied for 123rd and my worst weighs in at 399...barely on the board at all. Every year at this time I kick myself for not having advertised an option to have yourself removed from the kontestant list for an additional 10 bucks. In my case, right now, money well spent.

As the KUBE has grown to it’s kurrent unsustainable size we have ended up with people KUBE management is either totally unfamiliar with or because of alzheimers, booze and drugs we have forgotten who (or whom) they are. Such is the case with our initial standings (after one day). Brooke Sanders or Sanders Brooke as we know her is in the lead tied with Kristopher (with a k, perfect) Eubanks. If you are in the lead after Friday please submit full biographical sketch and advise as to how you entered the KUBE, divined your picks and... tell us if you were a tree, what kind of tree you would be.

The first familiar name to this writer is Andi Emke in at 6. For some reason she did NOT pick Missouri to win it all. Wait till I tell her father of this betrayal. Jane Heine (the brains behind a couple of guys at Moneta) along with Tom (the old one) O Meara represent for our favorite planning empire. For all I know there are several more on the list but since the restraining order Don got against me I am not longer allowed within 500 yards of the building. Awkward. A lot of people question exactly why that happened but there was an incident on Don’s balcony with... well let’s just...mistakes were made.

Celebrity Catholic and sometimes Presidential Candidate Rick Santorum came in at 31. Good job Ricky!

Henry the Cat in at 22.

The formerly big deal “Blue Horshoe” only entered once this year and is currently punished at 105th place.

The Kissam Family... perenial contenders are well represented in the top 100. Not so much for Papa Luke...limping in at 137.

Kube Kommentator extraordinaire...Dan Kukla komes in at 175 on day one proving that there is not always a lot to be said for a prophet in the desert.

Afghani Diplomaci at 234 (yes that will work out)

In the cat fight of the century the KUBE wives are going head to head for the first time with Sandy Becker tied at 245 and Maria...stomping her currently at 65th place.

Former Champ Adam Reed at 73. Long way home from there.

In a surprise from the grave the late Lowell George of the Band Little Feat is at 253!

And finally...tied for last...Winstroer (the family that coined the phrases “I don’t mid if I do” and the klassik, “Sure I will have another” and Laura (yes I married poorly and yes DON IS OUT OF TOWN AGAIN!) Hessel.

This is quite a group and it was a heck of a first day with top seeds holding up in 14 of the 16 games. More today. If there is anyone you would like us to pick on...please advise by emailing wantobecker@mac.com.

And So It Begins!

Soooooo..... here we are. 415 entrants. We (KUBE Management) are humbled. I a watching the Wichita Shocker who I might (or might not) have winning the whole thing sturggle mightily against VCU and wishing really horrible things on their team. This day alway reminds me how petty a person that I am. It has been a great day. Syracuse, scared by UNC Asheville. I am finding it hard to ype at Wishita seems to be playing so poorly. It has been a great opening day and unfortunately I was forced to work through much of it and missed a lot of early action.

My compatriot and I have been doing this a lot of years but this year we turned over a lot of the mechanics to my son and I cannot tell you how happy I am to have forwarded all of your idiot inquiries to him. He questioned whether or not our participants are...”inkompetent”. I have to tell him that... yes, you are.

This was our favorite:

Subject: confirmation of my two entries and paypal payment









yo...bud's with adam reed....solid setup here...virgin to your kube, so wanted to make sure you got me picks and paypal of 20 beans...thx in advance bud

grahm

That is great stuff and some evidence of how stupid this group really is!

This was received from The Voice from the Caverns. His father has always been a weak link in the brilliance of the KUBE but I do believe that next year, between Jon Becker, and Dan Kukla...you might need to hear from the old people at all. His father, who is on his way to spend your entry fees in Arizona is useless
:
By Dan Kukla
My job is better than yours.
I didn’t call in sick. Didn’t use a vacation day, personal day or make your own holiday day. While the first day of March Madness is certainly a worthy cause for all of the above (if you’re the sort of person who calls in sick because missing the best sporting event of the year would be detrimental to your “mental and emotional” health), I didn’t need to do any of that because I only go to work when I want to. Well, sort of. The details of that aren’t too important on a day like today.
The important thing to know is that it is 10:40 a.m. and I am sitting at home on my couch watching basketball.
Also of note: my wife is better than yours – at least when it comes to March Madness. I’d also argue that she’s better in plenty of other respects but that’s another conversation for another time and place (but if you need proof, go to www.meg4christ33.blogspot.com).

Yesterday she set our QuickTune on Direct TV (I know what you’re thinking but no, this column is unfortunately not corporate sponsored) to allow us to switch between CBS, TNT, tru TV and TBS as efficiently as possible. Last night she set our alarm for 9:45 (did I mention my job is better than yours?) so we could get up for the games. This morning she cooked me waffles. Oh, and she picked Mizzou as her national champion with UNC in the finals – my two favorite teams in this year’s field. As a bonus she even had Xavier knocking off the evil (blue) Devils in the second round (I refuse to call it the third round; the first four games do not constitute a round or even exist at all).

So yes, I write this in a considerably good mood. Enjoy it because if this year is like any other my brackets will be busted by the end of the weekend and my mood may go as well.

It seems like everyone is picking North Carolina to go far this season. Even my wife, who is from a family of Duke fans, and now my coin. Ever since my dad, “The Donald,” won this pool with a coin toss bracket I have done my own annual coin toss bracket (I’ve just never had the guts or money to enter it). The coin enjoyed its most successful year in 2010 when it took Butler as its champion and then watched the No. 5 seeded mid major advance to the finals where Puke (not a typo) ruined everything (told you the devil is evil).

Never in the history of the coin flip bracket has my coin picked a No. 1 seed all the way. Not until this morning.
The whole point of a coin flip bracket is to produce a set of picks completely different than anything I would create in my own wisdom (relative term). But even my coin is on the bandwagon this year, picking the Tar Heels to beat Xavier in the finals. Louisville and Gonzaga round out the Final Four. So now three of the five brackets I made this March have UNC on the final line.
Funny how I killed Syracuse after suspending a key player but Henson’s health (or lack thereof) didn’t affect my view of the Tar Heels whatsoever.

I’m not even sure why I like North Carolina. I think it started in middle school when all my friends were (Fl)uke fans. I just have a way of endearing myself to others like that. Unlike my irresponsible childhood love of the Miami Dolphins, however, this one stuck.

So with the Tar Heels and Mizzou both highly seeded in this year’s field and with SLU and two New Mexico teams making the draw as well, I was inspired to enter what I am calling a “Homer Derby” bracket: Carolina over Mizzou in the finals; New Mexico in the Elite 8; SLU and NMSU in the Sweet 16. I also gave a first-round nod to Robby Lothman and Harvard (one of my best friend’s little brothers who plays volleyball for the Miami University of the Ivy League… oh wait, volleyball… as in not basketball… oops) while giving early exits to my Axis of Evil teams such as Kansas, Kansas State, UConn, Ohio State, Cincinnati and Ohio (hey, if my Red Hawks can’t make the field then no other Ohio teams are allowed to advance). Unfortunately it’s not a completely pure “Homer Derby” as those pesky Pukies snuck into my Elite 8, balancing out a different bracket that has Baylor beating those overachieving white boys.

I initially went forward with the idea because I figured making picks by that aforementioned wisdom never works out so I might as well make a bracket I can root for. But I am now realizing that this will only exponentially increase my annual agony of defeat when this bracket busts just like all the others.

So in the words of some oversized magical bus driver, “buckle up, it’s going to be a bumpy ride.” Now that I’ve started writing these Komments I don’t intend to stop until One Shining Moment and as promised my demeanor will go as my picks and teams go. This year those are one in the same so the mood swings will be all the more volatile and destructive.
Because if there is one thing we all know for sure, it’s that my brackets are most definitely not better than yours.

***
Take that KUBE Nation! Thanks for participating. We will see how quickly we can get stats posted.

Selektion Sunday!

Soooooooeeeeeeeelection Suuuuuuuunnnndayyyyyyyy!

Not that I am excited. My first bracket entry hit the web site and I got the confirming email and it feel like Kristmas! Here is a cheklist for good Kubies!
1. Go to Facebook and find the KUBE home page.
2. Add 100 of your friends.
3. Go to your Twitter account and follow Kubeklassik.
4. Enter at least twice
5. Get everyone in your office to play.
6. Get everyone in your family to play.
7. Open a Pay Pal account if you do not have one already to make payment easier.
8. Go to the Boomreactive.com site and learn what they can do for your web presence and social media marketing!
Do it now!

It really does look like a great tournament this year. Other than all my favorite teams get lumped into the Western Region. Some of the games are in Columbus, that is kind of west...west of Cleveland anyway. As always when I did my brackets I ended up with 1 and 2 seeds in the final 4. I always disappoint me which gives me a feeling similar to how everyone else must feel when they deal with me.

Go Vandy!

But seriously. I want to blow the KUBE up this year. I am hoping to have Komments from Dan Kukla starting as soon as possible. Dan can actually write. He can spell, conjugate verbs. and what not. Jon Becker is handling the uploading and downloading and all web related promulgations on our SWEET new website. It will be even more serious if we can crush that 500 entry threshold at which time we likely need to get listed on the NYC. All entries are getting invested in lottery tickets but there has been some talk of KUBEWAY! A multi level marketing opportunity (scam) in which we can have tiers and trails and mailbox money coming in and you can create a second income and work from HOME! More on that later.

In the mean time...enter early and enter often! Look out for Norfolk State!

Join the stupid, love the stupid, be the stupid.

KUBE, Stupid People Doing Stupid Things...for a long time!