FINAL FOUR!

Soooo our Koordinator has done his normal fabulous job of getting all the scenarios out there. Deeply, deeply troubling scenarios.

Michigan State v. Villanova: Kirby Ott? Monosyllabic last name? Can anyone named Kirby be trusted? Isn’t that a vacuum cleaner?

Villanova Beating Michigan State: Wantonbecker? Four words.... I don’t think so. Mike Johnson is also in the money here. Mike is very excited to finally see Rollie Massimino and Judd Heathcote face off.

Michigan State beating North Carolina: John Winstoroer? For God sakes he is a Democratic. Almost a commie... forget that, he IS a commie.

NC beating Michigan State: Our current leader, Kenny Lurkins (aka Daniel Power) aka creepy and creepier wins.

Connecticut beating Villanova: Wantonbecker again? Like a nightmare with legs he keeps showing up...like a nasty rash....like... well you get the idea.

Villanova Beats U-Conn....once again unlikely and once again that sore...wantonbecker.

U-Conn beats NC : This matchup is the likely match up. Number one seeds and a lot of power. Kenny from Southpark wins again.

North carolina beating U-Conn....Kenny again.

Creepy Kenny and that awful wantonbecker with six of the winning scenarios but creepy Kenny has the best of it with that NC/UConn matchup looking like the likely one. UConn with those two monsters inside changing everything and NC just looked like they are all playing the best basketball of their lives.
In any case. I should be a party.

Stupid people have never done stupider things then this.

We Hate U-Conn!

As Johnny Cash said so well....”Sunday Morning Coming Down”. The snow is lightly on the ground and it is almost April and the weather is as cold a Tiger fan’s heart. Still what a great season. The Tigers out performed all expectations and gave us an awesome season along with a Big Twelve Championship and a Great 8 berth. I was not sure Anderson was the right coach, thinking of him as a poor man’s Nolan Richardson but I was... happily very wrong. I do not think we are going to see any of the seniors pounding around the NBA but who knows. They are over achievers.

Villanova gave us a game for the ages against Pitt and they one it with the dreaded Tyus Edney buzzer beating drive from coast to coast. Watching it happen and this time cheering for the winning team was pretty sweet. By the end of today the final scenarios will become clear. Lurkins/Powers is THE LEADER and it appears that if North carolina plays to form but we are left to ask what kind of winner pics Tyler Hansbrough (who if he had any soul at all would have been a Missouri Tiger) and has to play the KUBE under an assumed name. Wantonbecker continues to pend his diminishing hopes on the Wildcats Cinderella story. Jonathan Curtis, Brent Dolen (who is from Lou-vull) along with professional shark Mike Johnson all are waiting to pounce if Louisville gets it done.

Jake Winegrad with Oklahoma and John Winstroer are waiting to pounce with Oklahoma, Michigan State wins. The race to the bottom has already been won by the evil scheming of Brad Koenmean but others begin charging down as their winners disappear out of the final four. Upsets are really what it is all about and this writer will be cheering for the Sooners and the Spartans as the games tip today. We will see the scenarios tomorrow or perhaps even by the end of the day and then all possibilities will be clarified by our dynamic and talented KUBE Koordinator.

GO SPARTANS!

MIZ....Z...OH....oooooooooh....

Sooooo.... it is Saturday night. Mizzou went down bravely and as I type Villanova is currently stomping Pitt but we have to assume that Pitt comes back and fights the good fight. The important thing is that I have a new computer to type on. Now I need Villanova to win the tournament so that I can pay for it. Unless you want to make donations.

The Missouri game was a good one and they played well. Could not hit the threes but ultimately those two big monsters that U-Conn had inside were too much forcing our Tigers to adjust every trip into the paint. It was hard fought. Becker The Wrecker thought he had a shot with Mizzou winning it all but alas he goes the way of the Memphis and UCLA fans and slinks quietly... into the darkness.

Kukla has not yet updated because they are still playing but Dave Leavitt (who?) is tied for 32nd and is the highest ranking guy now with U-Conn winning it all. It could be one of the greatest moves in KUBE history. Go Dave... whoever you are. Kukla will be posting tomorrow all the final four possibilities. As Pitt pulls to within 2 of Villanova...wantonbecker is seeing his sad little life pass in front of his eyes. de Juan Blair for Pitt looks like he is 30 at least.

If North Carolina falls tomorrow it is going to be lonely at the top and we could be seeing Sherre Flavin charging up with Oklahoma as her pick to win it all. We are well beyond the “anything can happen” stage but we are now solidly within the “anyone can with this thing”... that is if they are still in it.
The best commercials of the tournament:

1. Any E-Trade commercial with that kid
2. The Bud Light commercial where the guy get ejected from the meeting.. and the building.

Worst commercial...Ozzie Osbourne... he depresses me.

Why do all the players have so much ink? Can we assume that they also have lower back tattoos?
John Winstroer...that is right, handsome Uncle John still also has an excellent shot sitting at 37 if the MICHIGAN STATE SPARTANS win it all. Go....go Johnny go.

Button up and button down kids. We got more basketball to go. But until we meet again. GO Villanova!

The Calm Before....Da Storm

So as I sit at my desk in KUBE World Headkwarters at 6:00 A.M. Wednesday (the KUBE never sleeps… think unblinking eye of Mordor) I have to reflect on where we are before the maelstrom of tomorrow contests sweeps us away once again with adrenaline. Tomorrow our beloved Missouri Tigers do battle against the poser tigers of Memphis who evidently have not lost a game since the 15th century B.C. KUBE took a break yesterday and you saw what happened to the markets. We will focus again on leading the country out of recession and on to economic glory with the KUBE stimulus package.

The KUBE itself is, as always a great contest, a morality play, and a lot of fun all rolled up into one stupid little package, for your pleasure. First, the long shot award:

Some Long Shot Stats for the Komments

20 entries had Arizona advancing to the SWEET 16
Theses people included - our current leader Winland, Derek2, Jon Becker's Pork Barrel entry (even a blind pig finds a corn cob once in a while), all 3 of Ryan Dierberg's picks (the Ivy League Education Strikes Again).

Missing from the list is Brad Koeneman, who attempted to subrogate the system by creating a bracket designed to "win" this prestigious award - but alas, he failed and only had 9 correct picks in the ENTIRE bracket with W. Ky over MS State in the finals - no winnings for those trying to cheat the system. Indeed the KUBE hates schemers and gamers of the system. Brad likely is the kind of person who thought credit default swaps were a good idea and would like to work with the KUBE to “repackage”, “securitize” and “monetize” our income stream.

But our winner is:

Thy Terrell Owens - currently in 209th place (out of 223) - this appears to be a legitimate entry as he has 12 of 16 teams in the Sweet round and all of his elite 8 are still alive with Louisville winning it all. AZ was his only high seeded team advancing. We have since discovered that Thy Terrell Owens in one Jim Barry, playing the KUBE all the way from Burlingame CA and evidently is related to the KUBE from some sad misadventure his daughter had with my deeply troubled nephew Greg Gates. Congrats Jim.

Hard to predict who is going to win under the presently available scenarios. Clearly the wisdom of the crowd calls for NC and Louisville and the KUBE top 20 is littered with those entries. If Villanova goes all the way, I look pretty good since it looks like I am the only one who picked them to go all the way (BRILLIANT!). Derek Winland though brilliant and currently number one is a dead man walking with his (what can only be called) ballsy pick of UCLA to go all the way so we will be saying goodbye to him as leader shortly. Watch for Bob Heine with Syracuse and Shayo Mowen with Memphis and God Bless him there is my brother with his heart in his hands trying to make a run with Missouri going all the way. MIZ… indeed.

Enjoy your brackets, enjoy the games and remember you are one of us. Do something profoundly stupid today and celebrate all that is the KUBE!

MIZZOU-RAH!: KUBE KOMMENTS LATE SUNDAY EDITION

Marquette has pulled within 1... now 3 with 7:56 to play. Obviously we hate them like poison. Obviously Jesuits are never to be trusted but nothing good has happened at that school since Hank Raymonds left. Sorry Majeris. The Mizzou game is too hard to watch so lets talk a little about a topic we have not visited before... first families of the Kube.

We got a lot of great family traditions in the KUBE and not just your random poorly bred Kuklas and Beckers and their ilk. We have Mowens, Curtises, Shapiros, Kowerts, Flavins, Omearas, Winstroers, Pupillos, Hessels, Webers, Buemers, the list goes ion and on...but certainly these are some of the first families of KUBE and build the great, GREAT tradition that is this bracket. I thing we have KUBE Kompetitors from Spain (Gegel), Columbus Ohio (King), San Fransisco (Bellefeuille) So Cal (Reed) Louisville (Dolen) and probably even further afield then this humble scribe knows... but you can let me know at any time where YOU filed your brackets from a wantonbecker@mac.com.

KOMMENTS!

ANGRIEST BALD DWARF IN DIVISION I




Mizzou barely hung on AND covered the spread so while wnatonbecker picked Marquette in his brackets and lost his 15 minutes of KUBE fame, Missouri by winning by 4 instead of 3 shoved 110 dollars into my pocket. MIZ! Indeed. So we have Derek Winland in first place. Derek is always....always competitive in the KUBE.. and is proving once again...formidable but with the UCLA tragedy is destined for death in the KUBE. It is different this year... the final winners are spread out a lot. I am sure the Koordinator will do some review but six different teams listed as winners in the current top ten. How about Ryan Dierberg tied with himself at 110. It takes a Wharton Business School education to get that done. Shayo Mowen is well positioned with a Syracuse win and that whole pack of North Carolina people. Bob Heine (married to Kukla’s boss) is also well situated with the Memphis pick. Should be fun.

We are hoping to have some insight from the celebrated Miami of Ohio columnist Dan Kukla. Dan is not fairing so well in this years KUBE but I am sure he has good reasons why.

It does not appear we have a lot of pet traffic this year and I guess Don will be announcing a long shot winner soon so keep your eyes peeled.

SUNDAY EVENING KUBE:

Soooo... I sit here on Sunday afternoon, exhausted from three days in vegas with my son...hookers...drugs... you all know the story. Watching my Tigers fighting a hard battle with Marquette as Marquette trys to come back in the 2nd half. They are trying to run with the Tigers which seems... like a mistake. This Tiger team could fall at any moment but they are playing with a lot of heart. This game looks like playground ball at this moment but it is fun to watch. I do not know how the Tigers will do if they find a team that can make them play a 1/2 court game but... this is fun.

Kukla will be posting the standings after two rounds and Wantonbecker’s day in the sun will likely be over because he picked Marquette to beat Missouri in a contrarian effort. Stupid. Instead of focusing on the leaders it is time to look at the bottom and see.... the land of the losers. I am looking down from WAY UP HERE and who do see?

I did not know that Kukla new Terrell Owens but with aq blistering 131 points...perhaps he shouldnt. Bugt also down there...sadly...Mark Shapiro? At one point the Shapiro family dominated the KUBE. Of course it was primarily his wife and dog who were making the picks but Mark...really? Besides a Woods, and an Alsop we have my future relative Mulvahill. How far did he thing Butler was going to go? And Blue Horseshoe, another great fallen and Brad Koenmenan....23%?
Marquete just pulled to within 7.

If Don has not been clear about this.... we need everyone to pay! Next year he is going to have a feature on here where the people who have not paid are in red and listed as deadbeat losers who will need to be killed. Think of it as tough love.
More Later Perhaps as Marquette pulls to within 5. And they are on the line. “Houston...we have a problem”....and a ballgame. I love March!

"It was one of those March days when the sun shines hot and the wind blows cold: when it is summer in the light, and winter in the shade."
--Charles Dickens

3 Poin t Game. Later.

KUBE SATURDAY EDITION

BLAKE GETS BODY SLAMMED!


So KUBE senior management and the next generation made it through the first and 1/2 of the second round and are now back in the Lou or back at their insititutions of “higher” learning. Sure their were some awkeard moments (notably involving a trampoline, ans albino midget and the Bally Hotel & Casino’s sprinkler system but fortunately the high powered KUBE legal team was able to convince the authorities that the whole thing was just a “misunderstanding”.

Bally’s Sports Book was the typical madness and when the first game tipped off I wish all of you could have been there with a few hundred, dirty hungover men along with a handful of sad, depressed and long suffering wives and girlfriends and a few over worked waitresses bring bevys of bloody mary’s and beers. When CBS starts the first live feed there is a general clapping of appreciation but when the first game tips.... there is a roar. March Joy has arrived again.

I would also like to point out that in the last two weeks, with the advent of this years KUBE the DOW JONES has rallied as the KUBE has once again brought hope back to the American people. 230 KUBISTS have entered this in a tour de force of confidence in America, God, College Basketball and the economy. It is a proud moment indeed. We are going to wait until tomorrow night to any serious review of the current stats but as of Friday Night we had Adam Reed of the deeply troubled Reed family (who also needs to send his check in ASAP to KUBE Headkwarters) is currently ahead followed by Chris (Huggy) Behr, Wantonbecker...Uleashed and.... wait for it.... wait for it.... BECKER THE WRECKER! Obviously it would be a dark, DAAAARRRK day in KUBE history to have the Wrecker win or even, indeed come in, in the money so lets just pray it does not happen.
More tomorrow. Don’t fear the KUBE.