KUBE KOMMENTS SUNDAY:

WHAT HAPPENED?








OK...so the komments have been somewhat remiss and everyone seems pissed that i have not featured their pet. In that regard let me say that i have gotten no pet profiles or biographies. I assumed that Lucy Shapiro was a person for god sakes. Give me a break. And I still believe that dog is juicing. If he would have picked Davidson the jig would have been up.
This in from Oregon:
 Lucy still in the lead, but if you look closely, Riley Curtis and Kathryn Kissam (of the soon to be Baton Rouge Kissams) have more remaining possible points AND have NC winning it all.  Lucy might just be a sprinter and unable to finish.
 
Ian Anderson is lurking in the shadows with UCLA
John Steffens looks strong with Kansas and 200 more possible points
Diane Winland has Texas
Karen Warlop - part of the Rock Island Warlops, the only family still residing in the Quad and in the pool - is the sleeper with Memphis
Can Derek Winland or Steve Hammer come out of 139th or 152nd rocketing upward if Louisville wins it all
Nobody has  X or Davisdon winning it all
And finally, good! and count it (two Shapiro aliases) have Tennessee oops!
 
See ya this weekend
 
DON
PS We only have one RSVP to the happy hour - remember, you are watching the final game at The Depot

It might not be the best review we have ever read but it a nice summary and with Riley Curtis being a dog I believe it says a lot about our pool that the two leaders are canines. At least neither of them are cats.
The Friday night games were all blow outs. Louisville made Saturday night interesting which is good but all four top seeds are still alive and one needs to give grudging respect to the people who do the seeds. My precious West Virginia went down in flames with poor free throw shooting to Xavier who then could not handle any aspect of UCLA’s game.

****

Now on to uglier matters. Since you have not furnished us with Dog biographies we are going to... make some up. Occasionally in the KUBE... we make mistakes. Sometimes in our efforts to bring people into the tent we let in a bad egg... a troublemaker... a malcontent. In this case it is... Wrecks the dog. Wrecks is a deeply troubled golden retriever although I believe Wrecks is really...”mixed breed”. Wrecks frequently boats on weekends, chases rabbits, barks incessantly and is a general nuisance. The dog cannot really be blamed. Wrecks parents systematically beat the dog and deprive it of all food and affection. This would explain the Dog’s drooling and shedding and nearly constant leg humping. Wrecks parents were hoping the dog would win the KUBE so as to pay for some counseling for the hapless pooch but Wrecks... a self proclaimed “Wonder Dog” is locked in at 192nd place after Saturday night... so thats pretty good, right? Take a swing by his house and pet him on the head. He needs some affirmation.

****

Sunday Morning brings a whole new world with Riley Curtis in first place. We do not know if Riley or Rex is a dog or whatever they both are dogs. We just don’t know. But one way or another we have a new leader. The evil Lucy Shapiro has fallen from first but is still right there. I have no idea what a Daniel “Lurkins” is. Is that a made up name to be creepy? On information and belief Ian Anderson is also someone’s pet and so one way or another we have a good chance of a pet winning this years competition. Derek Winland is the highest ranked person with Kansas winning and Karen (I do not want to live in Rock Island... there is a court order that says I have to live in Rock Island) Warlop is the highest with Memphis as a winner. I would like to figure out who the youngest kompetitor this year becauseKUBE supports childhood gambling as well as pet gambling.

****

Remember every Kompetitor is invited to the Depot to watch the finals. The good news here is that (although Maria does not know it) all your pets are invited as well. The Kukla's have this cat that is very much like a dog and well... he needs company and has invited ALL your pets over for the game. Should be a hoot. Right Maria?
The KUBE appears to have gone to the dogs. Word.

KUBE KOMMENTS FRIDAY!

SHAPIRO MARCHES ON!










On information and belief Lucy might...or might not be a pet. With our Koordinator in Oregon drinking Pinot Noir, skiing and generally being an elitist we are kind of...rudderless.

His brief komments and obeservations:


Logan Finerty is the first to run out of points - no matter what happens from here n, he can accumulate no more points


After being a constant leader in the "projected standings" calculation, the death of W. Ky was the death of the Jon Becker coin toss entry

Lucy Shapiro still leads the pack and looks strong with NC winning it all

There has also been some discontent in the KUBE Nation regarding me only posting dog pictures. I want to be clear about this. I hate cats. Along with clowns and mimes there are few things which consistently creep me out more then cats (maybe Howard Dean).

So in light of all the requests I am setting aside my own tremendous personal biases and making this a cat issue.

I do not know what to say about the brackets. West Virginia screwed itself (and me) at the free throw line. North carolina looks like the 800 pound gorilla and they are playing great basketball. Louisville looks very strong but only one will come out of that bracket. Xavier did not look that strong but still finds a way to win. Saturday morning we will provide some more in depth kommentary but in the mean time if the Shapiros could provide a brief biography of Lucy it would be appreciated. For that matter if anyone wants to provide a biography of Lucy that would be awesome. Here is a picture of Lucy and I think you can all agree with me that the dog looks stoned. This dog looks like Johnson used to look on a Sunday morning only without the Doritos stains and crumbs all over it's face. This dog is NOT a cute dog. This dog is the kind of dog that gives good dogs bad ideas. I am requesting immediate drug testing for all pet entries!

GO BRUINS!

KUBE KOMMENTS SUNDAY: KARNAGE!

Soooooo...Sunday. All a real hoopster can do is shrug their shoulders and mutter under their breath (because it is easter)... what the hell? What the hell indeed? Butler takes Tennessee to the wall. Davidson humiliates Georgetown to go the sweet sixteen. Duke and Pitt get knocked off on Saturday... quite a weekend. Western Kentucky and Davidson in the sweet 16. It is like bizzaro world and Jon Becker’s coin flip brackets sit ominously on the sideline threatening to derail the locomotive that is Lucy Shapiro.

And how are things around the Shapiro dinner table? Does she lord it over Andrew and the (someone please call the animal rescue people) Figgy and poor, poor Max. I assume based on his tournament standings that the family gets some kind of tax credits for feeding and clothing him. The Finnerty family... at least Steve is currently on top followed by Linda (makes for some tense dinners) followed by poor Logan who appears to be losing to his mom... again. Seriously, when the kids at school find out, do they still beat him up? At this point, after this many efforts I picture Logan as kind of a Forrest Gump gone bad. The Mogerman’s all went down with the Drake Bull Dogs and we will watch their tortured slide into the bottom 25 as the brackets continue. The Kukla family and the Becker family are only “families” in the broadest terms of the word. They are families much in the same manner as the Corleone family, with a constant specter of distrust and thinly concealed threats of greater violence if for example UCLA does not make the final four.

I cannot really tell where we are at in the pet competition. That will take some more review later in the week. I think i have already commented generally on the sad, manginess of this years contestants. It is difficult to say at any given point whether most of these poor animals would not be better off in the back room of an ethnic restaurant on Grand Ave. awaiting their eventual fate rather then living with the kind of people who would whore their Pet off in this type of competition.
Kukla heads off to the great northwest on Monday morning but assures me that he can drill down on some of the tournament metric remotely with the modern technology available. That remains to be seen. he is dragging his poor son Brian out there with a broken rib and putting him on a snowboard. Someone should call the DFS.

As I sit here in the bosom of my family on Easter Sunday afternoon Memphis is struggling with Mississippi State. Other then Villanova Sienna there have been no blow outs today and the upset have tilted some mighty brackets. UCLA, everyone’s second pick almost choked it away last night. North carolina just crushed Arkansas today and looks like a world beater but tomorrow...or Thursday or Friday... who knows? On a day when it was 68 just a few days ago and we wake up with snow, anything can happen. I for one will breath a sigh of relief to hit Monday, get to the Waffle House for an early breakfast and get to work.

DO NOT FORGET! CELLOFEST is at the Sheldon on Tuesday night. It is an officially sanctioned KUBE event. I wish I had thought of it.
GO MOUNTAINEERS!

KUBE KOMMENTS SATURDAY!

Round 1 is HISTORY.
This has been a very disorienting week with St. Pats day falling during Holy Week and the NCAA’s starting during the same week. basketball games on Good Friday and Easter? I do not know whether to be offended that college basketball is encroaching on religious holidays or that religious holidays would dare to compete with bracketology. Serious questions my friends. With Easter and all that we will probably not be getting into the pet brackets until Monday or so. Do not panic and by the way you guys have some ugly, frightening pets. I think some of you do not even own these animals... you just searched the web for rabid animal pictures and sent them in. No shame.

It looked like the chalks were going to hold and carry the day but on day 2, (Friday) things got.... shaken up. In the same way a suicide bomber “shakes things up” U-Conn blitzed some savvy bracketologists off the map. Tragedy. But share with me a moment of silence for the Mogermans and the Finnerties who beloved Drake Bull Dogs bowed out on an ugly flukey shot with no time remaining. After having gutted it out tie and then go into overtime and take the lead... then have the dreaded shot to the heart. Hard to watch even of you are not an alum. So many bracket busters on day 2. Aside from Drake and U-Conn, Sienna humiliated Vanderbilt (the game was never in doubt after the tip off) and most disastrously for this righter Clemson folded like a cheap deck chair against Villanova.

Some observations from the KUBE KOORDINATOR. Listen and learn!

Here are some observations

We have W Ky (12) vs. SD (13) and Villanova (12) vs. Siena (13) - these games will determine the long shot award winner.
 4 people actually picked BOTH W Ky & SD to play each other - Jon's coin toss, Lily and Mark & Diane Winland
 One guy - Orville Portforker actually has W Ky playing SD AND Nova Playing Siena - unbelievable.
 7 have SD advancing
6 have W Ky advancing
 17 have Nova advancing
3 have Siena advancing
 
 
One way or another, there will be a tie - which is broken by the person with the fewest points after Sunday night.
Do to my being a MAC owner I have no ability at this point to open standings. Fortunately through the miracles of modern technology i can open it on my law firms system which is an excellent use of firm resources. Looking at the stats after the Friday upsets and all I can say is wow.

Lucy Shapiro with an unbelievable first round. The Shapiros are long lived supporters of KUBE and as a family have proven themselves to be stupid people worthy of mention but Lucy... an awesome showing. Ian Anderson of Jethro Tull is number 2 right now. Anderson, best known for his 70’s rock hit Aqualung and his prowess on the Rock Flute is number 2 with UCLA winning it all. Jay Vance (who has not as of yet sent his check in) is number 3. Jay hails from Omaha, has a lovely wife and child and recently got a new job where they received tax credits for hiring the “impaired”. Good job Jay. (everyone smile at Jay and do not make rapid arm movements which tend to agitate him). Diana Winland is in at 4th and showing some severe guts by picking Texas to win it all. This is the type of stupidity that wins KUBE’s. Diana of course is the long suffering spouse of Mark (I have never done well in the KUBE) Winland. Rounding out the top 5 is inbred Arkansan and likely long shot winner Orville Potforker. Mr. Potforker is from the Beverly Hills Potforkers and is well known for his polo ponies and for the inbreeding in his family. He is also an accomplished ballroom dancer. The police never proved to the satisfaction of a jury that he had anything to do with Princess Diana’s untimely demise.

Now to the bottom of the bracket. Baxter Allsop (who might or might be a pet) is at the bottom followed by the not so Shapiro Like Max. Brad Koeneman is in next and follows Christina Barry and Jim (Not a Kowert) Wienstroer. These people are all hovering at 60% and are not truly miserable picks as we have had last year. i think Nancy Powers and Cary Mogerman are the only ones with their eventual national champion eliminated. Good job. I am currently watching West Virginia losing to Duke. If they do lose my brackets are...dead. Happy Saturday and have a Merry, Blessed Easter! For our Jewish competitors... oh what the hell, you have a Happy Easter too.

KUBE KLASSIK TUESDAY

Sooooo I was watching the brackets show on Sunday. North Carolina, Memphis, U.C.L.A. and Kansas. Yawn. Who does a worse job picking a winner then these guys? Actually I guess they do a good job but they tend to get lost in those season records rather then who, aside from our conference winners is smoking hot. All you gotta do is make 6 wins in a row. It is march madness and it belongs to anyone.... anyone who is not geographically close to St. Louis anyway. We are pretty much S.O.L. (legal term) and will have to attach to other konnektions to find out routing interest. SLU, Mizzou, The Illini, SIU and even Missouri State are allo out the NCAA’s this year. Good riddance to bad rubbish and wait till next year but... the silver lining is that it will keep a lot of those local alumni from picking their crappy alma mater to get into the final four. Am I allowed to use the term final four or is that trade marked? Oh well.

I am thinking of getting in all my picks by Wednesday just so i do not wring my hands over the whole thing.
Lookin g at the brackets lest look at the East. I think Coppin State is a lock if they can get by Mount St. Mary’s. You heard it here first. Arkansas is about as local as this thing gets and of course in our down everybody is a Notre Dame fan (but me). I think they get knocked off by george mason. Seriously. The Tennessee Volunteers are the best team in the country and will win this bracket. Which makes me sad because I would love for Butler to go a few rounds but more then one, unlikely. Louisville goes two rounds.

The Midwest has Kansas on top. They have no problems in the first two rounds but it is nice to see UNLV back. Clemson is playing good ball and their second round game against Vandy will be a tournament highlight. But seriously, Georgetown after losing to Pitt in the Big East Finals should be ready to roll. Wisconsin, I cannot get my arms around but they should stomp Cal State and then U.S.C. (who might lose to K-State in the first round). Our bracket should be a fun one. make the trip to Omaha. Sleeper...Davidson for our long shot pool players.

Memphis comes out of the south and they have played a tough non conference schedule. It does look like there is a lot in their way after the first two or three games anyway. Pitt could be tough but seem like they might be a flash in the pan. texas could make it interesting. The Cardial of Stanford, over rated but that Marquette/UK game should be a great starter. Texas could end up playing Memphis in Houston. Seems like a home court.

Ahhhhh the west. The weak west which always has to be populated by teams from other regions. A lot of them. U.C.L.A. looks legitimately tough this year but a midwesterners heart must go to OUR DRAKE BULLDOGS. There I said it. The KUBE is officially cheering for the Bulldogs. Iowa is right next door. Right? Drake goes after Western Kentucky and then will be tested by U-Conn... unless San Diego Upsets U-Conn first. BYU. BY who after the Aggies knock em off in round 1. The KUBE long shot sleeper is West Virginia (with the venerable coach and drinker Bobby Huggins. But seriously... watch out for Xavier this year.

Should be fun. Do not wait till Thursday to get your picks in. You will not get any smarter. Feel free to send comments by either posting them to this site or sending them to wantonbecker@mac.com. Send your pics too.

KUBE KLASSIK ROKKS 2008!!!!!!!!

KUBE 2008!
SELECTION SUNDAY SPECIAL!
Who woulda freaking thunk that this sad amalgam of losers would be back, un-indicted (not a word) or Spitzerized (also not a word) in any meaningful way... to lead another illegal gambling enterprise where Kukla pockets all the money? Who indeed?
This years KUBE looks to be the worst ever. Last years cast of characters looked like a group of people who failed to make the final casting cut for "The Good, The Bad And The Ugly". lovable losers.... indeed!

Since we are getting together after a year there is a need to get to know one another again and dispel a few rumors and myths that have cropped up over the last year with some of participants and just make some general clarifications:

Brittany Spears is NOT pregnant with Dan Kukla’s child. Dan has been to busy being Sports Editor for Miami of Ohio’s newspaper. he had nothing to do with her little sister either... no matter what you heard.... at least that is what I am told.

Todd King of Ohio is indeed married to a witch.... or wiccan or...whatever. This does not give him an unfair advantage when selcting his brackets. Well, maybe it does. I will talk to Kukla about a witch ban but we don’t want any lawsuits.

Mark Winland has been implicated in the recent housing bubble melt down.

Lynn and Jerry Ebest do not have Bobby Knight living in their attic. It is not a rumor but it is a fact that Lyn sold her soul to the Schnuck family in order to win last years kontest. Without her knowing it we have modified the rules so that last years winner cannot win again this year. Don’t ask how, it is just a miracle of the digital age.

Laura Hessel has not been called by “client number 9”... nor has she been transported across State lines in violation of the Mann Act. No matter what anyone might be saying. Although her fiance’ does live in Illinois...hmmm?

Cary and Dee Mogerman’s second son Sammy is NOT Drake’s “two guard”. On the other hand he really nows his way around a marimba.

Megan Gates is in no way “linked” to the Butler basketball team.

The West family has no traffic violations on their collective records. Indeed, officially no member of the West family has ever violating a speeding law. They are model drivers.

Blue Horseshoe might or might not be a famous local politicians alias when using his Emperors Club account.
Rex (The wonder dog) Curtis is NOT secretly dating bitchy kennel klub champion Beagle “Uno”. For that matter neither is the Mogerman dog who may, or may not be a pit bull in drag.

Logan Finnerty has not been allowed to beat his mother or even to back talk her for yet another year. We all need to get together and make sure that Logan does indeed finish higher then his mother this year so that the kids in school stop beating him up.

The Shapiro family had nothing to do with the recent cash calls and financial issues at Baer Stearns.
*****
This year is going to be run by the same Kukla Modified Skoring System (TM) that brought so much satisfaction last year. I am sure he will explain it later. Back by popular demand is the Pet Kompetition. Highest placing pet will get some Kukla determined % of the pot. In order for your pet to kompete you must submit a pikture of said pet digitally by no later then 24 hours after the first tip off. Email the picture of your mutt (although we will take other pets we have a bias for dogs... and maybe Kukla’s kat) to wantonbecker@mac.com. Our goal this year is 25 pets. Please dominate the species of your entry. In the case of any Becker entries species should also be noted.
This year for the first time we are actively requesting submissions for inclusions and observations in the KUBE KNEWS AND KNOTES! This reporter is not going to Vegas. This reporter is staying right here in little old St. Louis. We need a little bit more of an on line community this year. I am looking for insights or perhaps just plain hatefulness. I am also calling for an official KUBE KICK OFF PARTY at the Sports Zone on Thursday beginning at 11:00 C.S.T. for tip off. I might even konvince Kukla to open up the Kukla wallet (a.k.a. Fort Knox) and spend some of his ill gotten with fraudulently acquired funds from the last few years.
Here are the venerable Lily and Lola who will both be kompeting this year. Neither are Duke fans. Lily is going to be banking on West Virginia making the final four and you only have to look at Lola (White Castle Box) to know she is a Kansas Jayhawks fan.
Lets get moving people. Bracketology is here.
Lets also get at least 200 people entered.

Record Review: Mountain Goats "Heretic Pride"

Mountain Goats
Heretic Pride








John Darnielle has supposedly made 17 CD’s under the the guise of The Mountaingoats since 1991. He is almost as prodigious as Ryan Adams and of late he has been a lot more interesting to listen to. His CD’s have always had a decidedly low-fi feel with classics such as “The Best Ever Death Metal Band Out Of Denton” which makes you laugh and cry as he sings their ballad with the chorus...”Hail Satan” sung in a half hearted, decidedly un-deathmetal way. Darnelle’s sturm and twang has been the voice and the sound of the group much as Bright Eyes serve Connor Oberst, Built To Spill serve Doug Martsch and The Decembrists serve Colin MeLoy. As I said he is always interesting to listen to but the production has always masked (or protected us) from his voice. Before the current Heretic Pride he sounded more like a Will Oldham whining, ranting style then anything else but on the recent CD we can hear all the lyrics and... who knew? Darnelle can sing. In a couple of different styles.

This is a really good solid mope rocking indie CD with some great songs. The use (over use) of the cello strikes oddly first... but then it starts to sound beautiful, mournful and... brilliant. Eric Friedlander who has played with a lot of people but does a lot with saxophonist Pete Zorn is just impeccable in this lightly orchestrated love letter of angst. Along with multi instrumentalist Annie Clark (sometimes of Sufjan Stevens fame) there is a lot of talent on this CD.

The first four songs get better with each listen. The Guardian praised the album as getting more interesting on every listen and I beg to agree. I hate to be such a fan but this is the best thing the guy has done and he is very talented.
The rack listing is as follows:

1. "Sax Rohmer #1" - 3:41
2. "San Bernardino" - 3:19
3. "Heretic Pride" - 3:43
4. "Autoclave" - 3:34
5. "New Zion" - 2:55
6. "So Desperate" 3:21
7. "In the Craters on the Moon" 3:32
8. "Lovecraft in Brooklyn" - 3:49
9. "Tianchi Lake" - 3:20
10. "How to Embrace a Swamp Creature" - 3:27
11. "Marduk T-Shirt Men's Room Incident" - 3:21
12. "Sept 15 1983" - 3:43
13. "Michael Myers Resplendent" - 2:52

“Sax Rohmer” is a great start which goes into “San Bernadino” which is just a pretty wistful song full of cello regret (I am thinking about registering this term) and... well I love it.The title cut is just too much and it comes third. “The transfiguration’s gonna come for me at last / and I will burn hotter than the sun,” he sings; “I will be so proud when the reckoning arrives.” For a drop dead nice essay on this song go to:

http://prettyfakes.com/?p=1298

My favorite song is Autoclave. How pretentious and obnoxious can one snobby indie rocker be?

“I am this great, unstable mass of blood and foam
And no one in her right mind would make her home my home
My heart’s an autoclave
My heart’s an autoclave”

I guess when your a pretentious indie boy there are no limits and you also have an obligation to extend your listeners vocabulary.

So not only is he an unstable mass of blood and foam... but his heart is an autoclave. Wikipedia tells us that an Autoclave is:

“a pressurized device designed to heat aqueous solutions above their boiling point to achieve sterilization. It was invented by Charles Chamberland in 1879.[1] The term autoclave is also used to describe an industrial machine in which elevated temperature and pressure are used in processing materials.”
Dude, that is his heart he is talking about.

One of the best critically reviewed songs on the Cd has been “Love Craft In Brooklyn”. Talk about angst. I will let his lyrics speak for themselves.

“...woke up afraid of my own shadow
Like, Genuinely afraid
headed for the pawnshop
To buy myself a switchblade
Someday somethings coming
From way out beyond the stars
To kill us while we stand here
It will store our brains in mason jar
And then the girl behind the counter asks "How do you feel today?" and I say "I feel like Lovecraft in Brooklyn!"
So at least he is a happy guy. This is no Vampire Weekend. This is a crafted CD, well instrumented and a beautiful mix of words and lyrics. This is, despite my condescending tone, a CD you absolutely should buy. So sayeth the Diner Review. 9 Slingers on the 10 scale,

R.I.P Death of Diners And More

It is harder when you lose a friend I guess but there is still something difficult about burying someone you do no like as well. This year we have lost two Diners, one of which will be missed and the other could go unremarked upon and no one would have ever known that it existed. Still, we have lost two more places to have breakfast and that is always a sad thing. Because even in the case of the bad diner there is always a hope that things might improve and it will become a good place. A comforting place. A place where I can come and hang out and read the paper and get set for the day. One of these places would have fit the bill... the other never had a chance.

So we lost After. After was cool. it was hip. It was made for a breakfast place for the late night crowd on their way home. It was not made for real breakfasters but instead for drunks and people working on losing the hangover. It was staffed in the morning by a group of fairly inattentive waitresses and always one guy cooking and the fact is... the food was good. Hot and fresh. great iced tea, good hash-browns, wobbly tables with red checked plastic table clothes with cigarette holes burned in them. All the good elements. A little kitschy in the way it was decorated but who cares. it was on Manchester in the “Grove” district which i used to think of as the lesbian district but that is neither here nor there.

Wheelers.... Wheelers opened recently and well... Wheelers just sucked. Wheelers closing was like putting down a vicious 3 legged pit bull. It did not take a lot of thought and in the end everyone was better off. While I went to After 4 or 5 times I only made it to Wheelers once. They did not have fresh iced tea, they had no sausage because “the truck had not come in yet” and you had the feeling that they did not do enough volume to have “fresh” food. Never a good feeling. The place had no atmosphere but was a big open room with some bad Coke souvenirs. Wheelers was right down the street from Billies anyway so there is really no reason for the place to exist anyway. It was...superfluous... at best.

***

Sooooo... I have some concerns. My primary concern on march 12, 2008 was that I had purchased my last tank of gas... ever... for less then $3.00 a gallon. They are paying $3.50 all over the country and... well... it just made me sick thinking about it. I really remember .19 a gallon. I feel nostalgic... I feel old... I feel sad. But I will get over it. You wonder if gas would be so expensive if we had chosen a different course in the middle east. You wonder how much texas oil men will make this year along with Mobil Exxon and all the rest. You wonder. Or maybe you don’t... but I do.

****

As long as we are burying people. As much as she can disrupt this race and damage the Democratic Party, Hillary Clinton’s campaign is dead. So sayeth the Diner Review.

****

We have not commented as of yet on the Elliot Spitzer thing. I think it is not needed. The whole thing was so trite and played out that I was once again embarrassed to be a man. That we as a gender can risk our families (and lets forget about his career. His dad is super rich and he will land on his feet as just a regular multi millionaire) for the sake of some fun. Well. What can you say. It is pathetic. I guess the only lesson i take from it is something I already know. We are all broken people, sinful in our own ways, sometimes special ways, and that grabbing the moral high ground when in the spotlight (or ever) is likely a mistake and sets you up to stumble. I do hope that if I ever stumbled in this way I would refuse my wife’s kind, well intentioned offer to stand by me before the cameras (in this case twice). I do not think anyone deserves that. I feel sorry for the wife and the daughters. I feel sorry for him because when you ride so high it must suck to have your humanity paraded before all the people you were lording yourself over. I do not have sympathy for his dad who I think thought he was going to be another Joe Kennedy and put his boy in the White House. What is worst is the picture they keep putting up where he looks like a goblin. So while we are at it. lets bury him too.

***

I would also like to bury St. Pat’s day but I think that is a personal grudge but lets do bury Irish food while we are here.

****

I think that is it. It is on to march Madness and the Diner review will be turned over to our good friends at KUBE. March Madness is always great and it brings with the promise of Spring. Let the brackets begin!

Save Yourself Barack!

OKAY... I have election fatigue. I am officially tired. I am even tired of Obama and his call for “hope” and “change”. I love the guy but I am tired. Hillary just looks like a disaster to me. Mean spirited. Scolding. Grabbing every opportunity to grab the cheap sound byte and play lowest common denominator slash and burn politics. The problem is that her tactics are tried and true and they work. The republicans have proven it for years with wonderful things like the swift boating of that inept Kerry fellow but Bill and Hillary (and I still love Bill) were masters of the hard, cheap shot to the back of the leg. There is no act too cheap and nothing is deemed too low if it brings about getting the “right” person the job. These ends justifying the means politics are just what we were hoping Obama would lead us out of.

Right now he is failing us. He is embracing the politics of fear and pettiness that have dictated the argument for over 20 years. Instead he has dropped into the same thing himself and it is a grave disappointment. He has squandered his cash on fast reaction teams that respond in kind to every cheap shot in a vain attempt to grab moral high ground. It sickens me and it has to stop. More importantly he has the chance to stop it and make a difference and prove his rhetoric. Here is what I am suggesting... demanding of my candidate.

1. Call a press conference.

2. Muzzle and control your own people. Release a list of people who speak for your campaign (make it short) and make clear anyone else is NOT authorized by you or your campaign. YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR WHAT YOUR AIDS AND CONFIDANTES SAY. Let Hillary have her pocket politicians smear you. It means nothing if the people believe you.

3. At the press conference announce the following:
A. He is ceasing all attacks on Hillary or responses to attacks. The campaign is about ideas and having the courage to leave stupid partisan politics aside. the challenge is too great and the stakes to high.
B. He will agree to use matching funds and federal funding of the national campaign as he said he would and he will donate whatever cash is stored up to the DNC.
C. He wants Florida and Michigan to be able to vote but they must be campaigns where he is both on the ballot and has a chance to campaign. He should apologize to the people in both States on behalf of the national party, and their state parties and state government for their apparent disenfranchisement and remind them that neither he nor Mrs. Clinton were responsible for it.
D. He will stop contacting and lobbying super delegates. That too is old style politics and stinks of deal making that is beneath the party and beneath the American people. These people will vote with the majority of the party and if they fail to do so the Democratic Party is done and you should lead the charge out of it.
E. He will praise Mrs. Clinton and suggest that she would be a worthy and admirable President.
F. He will praise John Mc Cain and his service to this country and acknowledge that he too would make a worthy and admirable President.
G. Whoever the PEOPLE elect he will vow to work for the change he has been preaching.
H. He will start his campaign anew with the theme NO EASY ANSWERS! He will list the things we face which have no easy answers like:

i. The economy which Bush has ruined with tax cuts, budget increases and a war he lied the country into. Americans are going to have to face up to some lean hard years while the country finds it’s way. He will bring the best and brightest of the economic leaders of our country including Bill Gates, Warren Buffet and labor leaders. If America is going to get out of this it is going to be through technology and new ideas.

ii. The War. We must get out of Iraq but he is NOT going to withdraw our troops on day 1. The blood shed that would be caused would be unforgivable. Mr. Bush’s ruining of the country has created debts and he will once again exercise best efforts and seek best advice not just of Generals but of allies, world leaders and perhaps even sit down with our enemies IF he thinks it would be productive towards our countries goals. The “war on terror” is going to be discontinued. We will defend our borders and exact a toll on those who aid people who kill Americans.

iii. He will seek justice in our own country and start to answer the question about why 1% of us are in jail. He will review the “war on drugs” which compares favorably to the “war on terror” and make the decision that we can afford neither. America leads by being strong and brave and it is hard, expensive and will cost American lives and treasure... but not without a plan and not without measurable results.

iv. He will support a constitutional amendment which specifically states that Money is NOT speech. When the founders protected our right to speak they did not protect our right to pay off our politicians and bribe them through our appallingly wasteful and expensive election system. He will lead a personal crusade against the lobbyist. He will disclose every dollar of special interest money he has received...ever and apologize and say NO MORE.

I know that there is much more to be said or done but he has an opportunity with the coalition he has to be transformative. We need to start the debate and attempt to really change the system that has lead us down this road to where we are ruining our economy and our country and borrowing against our children’s environmental and economic future. It has to stop. He can stop it. he must stop it but his time is running out and every day he plays the same old game he undercuts his chance of turning it around.
This is most certainly true.

Record Review: Vampire Weekend

Vampire Weekend








So it is time to have a little fun which is never a bad thing. Every year it takes a while for new releases really to get out, get heard and get reviewed but this diner is happy to report that there has been some good stuff this year, and some fun stuff, and it starts with Vampire Weekend.

First of all... forget the name. Sure it is kind of gay and trendy and perhaps even a tad desperate. This CD is there first major release and it came out on January 29, 2008 so they are “fresh faced” at best and in a grammy dominated by Amy Winehouse (who could not even attend) there is a massive need for something...anything...fresh. These guys pretentiously claim to be influenced by African popular music and Western classical music... whatever. They burst onto the scene by way of the blogosphere and I am claiming them the first quarter of 2008’s “next big thing”. realize that they are only the next big thing for thirty and forty somethings like me. For teens and twenty year olds who are really cool the band was likely “over” before they ever released their first CD. Releasing a CD is becoming for these indie snobs an arrogant, outdated pretense. Screw them.

This is a CD that is not meant for february or even March but more for spring or summer. it makes you smile as these preppy ivy league boys with all their pretenses give us some odd percussion and and danceable rhythms but more then anything else it is music to dance to. Starting with “Mansard Roof” the lilting tones start immediately. Ezra Koenig plays a clean guitar and his vocals are excellent and as i say below he does a Ray Davies, Paul Simon, Sting thing that is hard to beat. There is a little bit of Sting type vocals that pop out occasionally such as on the second track “Oxford Comma” which seems to bemoan pretenses to a martial drum beat and polynesian sounding guitar. “A-Punk is track number three and it has the sounds of a signature concert song which once again echoes the Police at their best Zenyata Mendata days. Like I said it makes me smile. “Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa” is full of pretense and to my sad little ears rips off Paul Simon’s “Graceland” but seriously... how bad can that be? “M-79” starts with...harpsichord? Isn’t that like soooo 2006? Lots of strings and more pretense but it all seems self mocking. More Paul Simon vocals here and it makes me miss his best work. “Campus” is a pean to the prep and this time... awesomely so Koenig is channeling Ray Davies and this one makes me miss the Kinks. God I love the kinks and this song only makes it more so. “Bryn”... I don’t know. perhaps the style is starting to wear on me by this time but this seems like the weakest song on the Cd but once again... great percussion might save this otherwise trite (to me) love song. “One” is not the remake of the great Three Dog Night song but instead is a little techno/caribe’ ditty once again giving me Ray Davies... in the sun. Nice or annoying chorus harmonies depending on your mood at the time but a nice tune.”I Stand Corrected” might be the best thing on the CD.

This is some good music by a good new band. The songs are short and punchy and the whole thing clocks in at like 39 minutes. They are pitching a fairly fresh sound but they seem to be reaching for something more. I am not sure that they get there. As I said redundantly up above the CD and the bands music is a lot of fun. i think, it will make several year end “best of” lists and that is pretty bold prediction for January releases. To find out a little more hit the links below. The always cool and pretentious Pitchfork liked it even more then I did. Buy it. 8 Slingers on the 10 scale.

THEY ARE ALSON ON SATURDAY NIGHT TONIGHT 3/8/08

Their Web Site: http://www.vampireweekend.com/

Wikipedia: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Vampire_Weekend

Pitchfork: http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/record_review/48053-vampire-weekend

http://www.pitchforkmedia.com/article/download/44502-vampire-weekend-cape-cod-kwassa-kwassa-mp3stream

Book Review: The Last Dropout

The Last Dropout
Bill Milliken
Hay House Publishing 2007
240 Pages






I am deeply suspicious of non-fiction. Whether it is history, biography, social commentary or self help.... they stink of fiction, masked in fact. As a Christian I get people handing me Christian self help books all the time. Granted... I am a person who needs a lot of help. But historically these books leave me cold. Max Lucado, James Dobson, the mega Church guys... all have great messages (well maybe not Dobson) but these books all wrap around individual themes. They then take those themes and extrapolate them out into action plans and life plans and planning plans... and it always feel like they are telling me something I already know, whether I know it intuitively or because I learned it, or because I know it because Christ spoke it in “The Sermon On The Mount”. I do not mean to be smug about this. Christian or not we all live our lives or should at least be guided by what we are simple rules.

The ones for business life are even worse where people take simple ideas and m them into your “plan” for success. I am sure that there are some good ones out there but in the main they stink and are useless... or at least that is my opinion.
The non Christian, non business, self help books I believe are all about dieting.

So a person I respect a lot who knew of my passion for teenagers recommended this book about our troubled approach to education. I liked a lot of portions of the book which emphasizes that the dropout problem is not a “school” problem but is instead a community problem. The author is the head of a GREAT program called Communities In Schools and the idea is simple, that we need a supportive community AROUND (embracing) our schools in order to educate and ultimately advance our children. Especially children in under privileged environments.

The book gives a little history of the author and his rough and tumble up bringing and how a Young Life leader and Young life camp saved his life and helped him become a servant. Mr. Milliken has done a lot of awesome things but among others he started up the urban street academies to give inner city youth a path towards their GED’s. What that experience allowed he and some of his cohorts to do was to realize that for schools to function properly the kids had to have a certain baseline. This lead to some essential principals which the book fleshes out:

• One: Programs don’t change kids – relationships do.
• Two: The dropout crisis is not just an education issue.
• Three: Young people need the five real basics, not just the Three R’s: a one-on-one relationship with a caring adult; a safe place to learn and grow; a healthy start and a healthy future; a marketable skill to use upon graduation; and a chance to give back to peers and community.

• Four: The community must weave a safety net around its children in a manner that is personal, accountable, and coordinated.
• Five: Every community needs a “Champion for Children” – a neutral third party with “magic eyes” to coordinate and broker the diverse community resources into the schools on behalf of young people and families.
• Six: Educators and policy-makers can’t do it alone...and they will welcome your help.
• Seven: Curing the dropout epidemic will demand change, not just charity.
• Eight: Scalability, sustainability, and evidence-based strategies are essential to creating permanent change in the way our education system combats the dropout epidemic.
• Nine: Our children need three things from you – your awareness, your advocacy, and your action.

****

That is some pretty good stuff. This guy has some good partners and has hung with some good people. Bill and Melinda Gates, Jimmy Carter and Senator Lugar are just a few. He also rips on the dreaded sacred cow of “No Child Left Behind” which of course resonates with me but points out, over and over again, that the drop out problem is NOT an education problem and that, in case you did not know it, a kid whose parents are beating the shit out of him, or each other, cannot learn. He writes about it dryly but you get the picture and you get some heart warming stories AND you get a call to action. I noticed St. Louis does not have a Communities In Schools Program. Another sign of our backwards approach. We could use a Champion For Children in this town. Any takers?

The Death Of No Depression

Reading Is Dead... long live reading.

“And I'm giving you a longing look
Everyday, everyday, everyday I write the book”-Elvis Costello






So for the past few years I have only subscribed to a couple of magazines. The first was the New Yew Yorker and the second was the Alt-Country music mag No Depression. So it was with some sadness that I was informed by my son that No Depression will cease publication with its next issue. No depression was around since 1995 and they had a good run.
To quote the Seattle Post Intelligencer:

“No Depression, named for a Carter Family song recorded in the 1930s, has been the top magazine for the roots-oriented, alternative-country genre.

Son Volt was featured on the cover of the first issue of No Depression, published in September 1995. The publication was quarterly in the beginning, then went bimonthly as it grew. The Chicago Tribune ranked No Depression No. 20 in its 2004 list of the country's top 50 magazines in all formats.”

That is some pretty heady stuff. I was there from the beginning and it was my music mag covering my favorite Genre lovingly and in heavy print stock. Chock full of adds which sometimes were just as good as the magazine itself. They got me into a lot of good music and also led me down some blind alleys just because the band being reviewed twanged a little.
It seemed like the magazine flourished starting with issue one which featured our own (Belleville’s) Jay Farrar and it flowed from there fairly dreamlessly with some truly brilliant stuff through the years. They had a reasonable eye for talent and were not afraid to reach out and embrace the different. The magazine also had a reverence for rock and roll royalty and spent ample time on Dylan, Neil Young, Elvis Costello and Van Morrison. The magazine introduced me to a record house called Miles of Music (milesofmusic.com) and i became a reasonably good customer. There was something liberating about buying CD’s from a catalogue or on line, and something that seemed noble or disciplined about waiting a week to ten days for them to arrive. And when a package of four CD’s arrived it seemed like Christmas.

Every month i would read the magazine, review the adds, check out the CD reviews and make a list of what I “needed”. It kept me current, if only in my little genre and the indie scene tangentially related to it. It is my understanding that they are going to keep up with their web site. Their last issue stated in a letter from the editor that decreased add revenue and ever increasing costs for things like paper made the future of the magazine a losing proposition. They also blamed the new postal regulations giving the mass publications that mail a huge advantage in postage because they could buy and maintain the proper sorting equipment. So big triumphs again and while No Depression dies key publications like “Outlaw Biker” and Cosmo Teen” will roll on. Dark times my friend. Dark times indeed.

Pick up the last issue of No Depression when it comes out next week. Read it, enjoy it and savor it These words are going boy and they ain’t never coming back.

****
I still like the New Yorker. The quality of the writing is top notch. Yes it is liberal leaning but of course as I amble toward being a commie that becomes easier and easier to swallow. Sometimes their articles run long... some times WAY too long and with my well documented ADD that can be a problem but also, being a quitter, I find i have the ability to stop.The fact is that they employ some of the best writers in the world, whether for fact or for fiction and although they are no longer an edgy publication, they are a bastion of quality and deep thinking liberalism. So the New Yorker soldiers on and for that I am well pleased. But there is some more good news for readers.

I read a book a few years ago by a nice young writer named Dave Eggers called “They Shall Know Us By Our Velocity”... it was clever and quirky. There was no title page and in fact the book started on the inside of the front cover. Moreover it was published by his own publishing house, Mc Sweeneys. http://www.mcsweeneys.net. Mc Sweeney’s is irreverent and cool. They attract some of the best and most interesting writers and the topics run the gamut. This web site is a current readers dream. In the age where no one reads books anymore we all have to rely on Amazon and Borders and even worse on the old line publishing houses which... like the old line record companies are dying and had better morph quickly if they are going to survive. The costs involved with main line publishing and bringing a book to market are simply too steep for them to try anything interesting or out of step. Good for John Grisham... bad for everyone else.

Along with what is now a long line of books they publish several magazines and do some things on the internet or some multi media thing which I don’t even pretend to understand (Wholphin). Their web site is rewarding enough but I have recently started subscribing to a brilliant pulp monthly they do called The Believer. The Believer is what the New Yorker would be in this cyber age if the New Yorker started now. They have offbeat art, poetry and fiction. They do feature articles and short interviews of people they (and thus we) fin interesting. The Believer has a great column each month by (like him or not) Nick Hornby who if nothing else is extremely well read and I get some great book ideas from him that I simply would not read about anywhere else. The mag is only on it’s 51st issue so it is still in its toddling stages and it will be interesting and exciting to see how they form it as it goes forward. In short... The Believer might save your life.

Concert Review: Robin Trower

Concert Review
Robin Trower
The Pageant
March 1, 2008

I am... as his been over documented in these pages... an idiot. I seem to be especially “challenged” in regard to concert performances and the ticketing and attendence at same. The doctors do not have a name for this mallady as of yet but I am hopeful that the people at Barnes/Jewish/Christian Hospital with the assistance of some MRE’’s and PET scans and perhaps a little invasive surgery into my brain will be able to come up with something but I will also throw it out to you to name my disease.

I had intended to take my god child rocker Brian Kukla with me to see the Drive By Truckers at the Pageant on Saturday night. The DBT’s have been around for almost 10 years and I have seen them three or four times. They are old school southern rock, cutting their teeth with three guitars ala Allman Brothers or Lynard Skynard. It is a noble heritage when done correctly and their CD from about 5 years ago, “Southern Rock Opera” is somewhat of a classic. So I was excited and had picked up the tickets at the Pageant earlier that day, walking in, saying “I need two tickets for tonights show”, and taking them and paying for them and never looking at them. BRILLIANT!

The problem was that the DBT’s were at the Pageant on Friday night. I did not realize it until I got out of the car and looked at the ticket. Then I said to Kukla...”They gave me the wrong tickets”... but they didn’t. I just screwed up. Fortunately Kukla is a guitar player, bluesy rocker so when i saw I had tickets for Robin Trower I thought... well, it is a sunk cost, and he will probably like him better anyway.

To quote the very quoatable John De Penalozza...”Robin Trowers not dead? Who knew?” Apparently a packed house at the Pageant knew. I did not. I mean... I guess i knew he was alive but I hardly cared. He started out in Procol Harum and while “Whiter Shade of Pale” is probably a top 100 all time song, he left their to di solo work. I think the only album he released which is still out was the somewhat seminal “Bridge of Sighs” (no relationship to the bridge in Venice or Richard Russo’s recent book) which had a number of FM hits including “Day of the Eagle”. I knew he was a guitar god (small g) but he was also from the “Clapton is God (large G) era and there was little in the way of blues rock that Clapton and for that matter even Jeff Beck had not already done to death, at least for my taste.

The show, though sold out had room on the floor and the opening act was already playing when we arrived. It was a local band called Logos and well... they were really good. They rocked really loud, appeared to be just kids and really tore it up. This was good solid blues rock by some younger local kids and they played VERY well. Check out their myspace page:

http://profile.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=user.viewprofile&friendID=27275677

The crowd loved them and the crowd was... old and ugly. I was by no means old at the show fitting right into the middle and can I say unequivically and for the record... the 60’s people are not aging well. This was an ugly group of about 90% men. One of those crowds where there is always a line for the men’s room but the ladies room is wide open. Whether it is because they are using their Flomax or whatever, it is hard to take a piss when you get 2000 upper middle aged men together with 4 men’s rooms. And as to ugly... a lot of us are going bald but these guys have the long stringy bald hair, lots of unkept sideburns and trucker caps saying things like “Kiss Army”. Ugly men and to be fair... the women were worse (the sole exception being Ethan’s wife). You get the idea.

Soo, after a 30 minute break Trower came out. To be fair... he is 62 and he looks pretty good. Long and lanky with long thinning gray hair but... he looked good. His band was a 40 something body builder with a Rod Stewart do and a muscle shirt that showed off his breasts, a fat lank haired drummer and this singer...Davey Pattison. He looks like Jerry Springer and even Wikipedia does not know how old he is but he had all the moves he still had when he was in his 30s singing for Ronnie Montrose. He played the tambourine and pointed a lot. I guess he could sing but you could not really tell.

It was a loud show and Trower still has his chops. he is a large man and thos big hands move across the fret board as well as anyone I have seen in a while. he is no Richard Thompson but my guess is that he could play circles around BB King on most blues licks at this point. Trower has a new CD out which he did with another dinosaur god, Jack Bruce and he interspersed those songs with his “hits”. He played and thumped for an hour and a half including his encores. The Kukla kid was all smiles after seeing a lot of old people rock out. It was kind of fun and kind of sad but... I have spent worse nights and made worse mistakes. That is the good thing about my disease. Even your mistakes can work out.

DAY OF THE EAGLE
I saw a light, just up ahead
But I couldn't seem to rise up from my bed
I'm not alone, than I am
People seem to think I'm superman
But I watch for the love
I'm living in the day of the eagle, the eagle not the, dove

Its like a weight, that brings me down
If I don't move, I'm on the ground
Its in my mind, Its in my soul
Its telling me the things I can't be told
Its a watch for the love
Living in the day of the eagle, eagle not the, dove

Another day, another night
I want to love, they want to fight
I need the time, I got to be alone
I got to meet a lover on my own
I watch for the love
Living in the day of the eagle, eagle not the, dove
****
This is not deep shit.

Diner Review: The Three Monkeys

Three Monkeys









There is something that always piques my curiosity when new places open up and are obviously bar/restaurants but they chose to also serve breakfast. I understand the logic of having a physical plant, open for lunch and dinner that you might as well get some revenue during breakfast rather then just be closed but historically the model does not work. Having been, in a past life, in that trade and having been lectured about how a really “nice” place can never serve breakfast AND charge $30.00 for an entree and have a good bar business at night... I get piqued.

So a few months ago I stopped by for cocktails at The Three Monkeys on Morganford. this is that area of Morganford just south of Tower Grove Park where several plays have tried to turn it into:

The New Gaslight Square
The New Loop
The New Lacledes Landing (ugh! What a bad idea that would be)
The New Maplewood
etc...

It could be kind of a cool little strip but other then the faux cool “Tin Can” and the Verona and Stella Blues there is very little really going on here and the 7-11 right across the street can attest to same. All that having been said The Three Monkeys is cool looking. It has a very tasteful exterior and inside is all dark woods and a big long bar. Think of the front room at Annie Gunns, deduct an average of about a 500k in net worth for each one of the patron and add a person or two who is not white (something rarely seen in the Chesterfield Valley) and you get the idea. For cocktails it was more then pleasant but i saw they had breakfast.

Breakfast is of course the great test of any kitchen and there are a lot of disconnects with three monkeys cool bar interior and it’s menu which seems to have a totally disconnected tropical theme. At 6:45 on a Saturday morning (they open at 6 for breakfast) I stumbled in remarkably un-hungover (legal term.. hungover is also now referred to as Spezioed) and checked it out. It is pleasantly dark inside but that is not a good thing for breakfast. You need light in order to read the paper. You need light to see what might be moving in your hash browns. But i can live with dark. It has it’s place. There are numerous tables...2, 4 and 6 tops but they all have these annoying, hard, not quite bar stools to sit on. They are not as high as bar stools but have the same design and are not comfortably short, like school chairs, so depending on your leg length they are at best... awkward.

I eschewed the tables and sat at the beautiful bar and was promptly served by a pleasant, pretty, pregnant (that is a lot of alliteration for me) bartendress/waitress. There is another dichotomy. Which is she. She is standing behind a bar in front of a full rack of booze and she is taking a breakfast order. But i digress. She was very pleasant and the service was good. there were three or four tables with people and at least one table of “regulars”. The regulars were also a little disconcerting because there were women at the table. As we all know from our reading women do not go out for breakfast. Strippers on their way home eat breakfast but that is substantially different then a middle aged lady, waking up and heading out with her husband to sit and eat breakfast at 6:30. it is once again... disconnected.

Checking out the menu I saw it was average in size but contained all the basics but everything once again had the annoying tropical theme:

The Amazon: French Toast
The Islander: Biscuits and Gravy
Lava: Belgian Waffle
Cyclone: Eggs, Pancake and Sausage
Congo...

You get it. To put it kindly, in breakfast parlance such themes are... lacking a better term...gay.
I ordered the biscuits and gravy along with a side of sausage and hash browns. The iced tea was good and fresh brewed. The hash browns were shredded (as God indicated they should be), the sausage patties were thin and large, reminiscent of Steak n Shakes old patties. The biscuits were thick dry and home made and probably would have been tasty on their own. The gravy was the only problem as it had more in common (and appeared to be) a mushroom sauce then sausage gravy. Closer inspection revealed that the mushrooms were indeed pieces of gravy but it was thin, separated easily and was too sweet and unsavory to really cut the mustard.

Still, your diner bravely muddled through. Over all it was not bad and the ambience of the place is soothing and it seems like it might be a nice place to hide for a few months until the bar either closes or realizes that breakfast is a losing opportunity. In the mean time I strongly recommend it as a breakfast experience. Bring someone to talk to.
Their Web Site (what kind of Diner would have a web site?) http://www.3monkeysstl.com/

Book Review: Invitation To A Beheadinge: Vladimir Nabakov

Invitation To A Beheading
Vladmir Nabakov

I know I argued that you must read the Russians in February but having just finished my second Nabakov book of the month... I have changed my mind. This book exhausted me for all the wrong reasons. When you are setting your reading list out and deciding what of Nabakov you read I am giving you official permission to duck this one.

The premise is pretty simple. We have a condemned man named Cinncinatus who is in a cell awaiting his ultimate beheading. Should be grist for some nice dark observations on death, life, captivity, the meaning of it all... etc... But unfortunately he does not handle it this way.

Cinncinatus as might be expected is going insane as he awaits his demise. He keeps asking his jailer, his warden and anyone who visits when his time will be as he reads lengthy works and keeps writing always wringing his hands that he will not be able to finish one or the other. Who cares.

He seems whiny and shallow. He is sentenced to death for killing his wife’s lover but it seems that even that was pointless because she was a whore who slept with a lot of men and kept doing so after his arrest. Still he pines for her and she visits him twice with disastrous results. He has other visitors as well including his mom and another character who we later find out is his jailer.

The most annoying part of the book is that I was never ever to get a feel for whether what he was telling us was happening was really happening or just a dream. There are parties he goes to, tunnels dug, fields run through, spiders spoken with, card tricks done ... and in the end he is always in his cell waiting to die. Exhausting... and annoying. He used his device of lengthy several page paragraphs but it seemed like he never said anything.
In the end.... surprisingly? He gets his head cut off. At least I think he did. But sadly i could not care less. A front runner for my worst read of the year.