Diner Review: PW Pizza

Soooooo....PW Pizza.... I really, really like it. I was turned onto it by an awful...awful lawyer who is an aggressive food snob and degenerate prick. I like ahim a great deal. He also turned me on to Mi Ranchito in Fairmont City. PW Pizza is on the first floor of Vin Du Cet. I would like to tell you all about it and how I was the first one there but I have never dined or drank there so screw that. But PW....I have been there a half dozen times now. It is pretty far east on Cheteau but not as far east as Ralson.

It is tricked out woody place with a nice little trendy spice shop, wine shop, cheese shop (useless) and a small bar (pleasant) as you come in. There are normally friendly people at the hostess station and if you get there by 11:30 you can always get a seat for lunch and if your ater be prepared to wait or sit at the bar. They have a nice selection of beers that can make any stay at the bar more enjoyable....even at lunch...even =when you have a client meeting....even when your going to going to court to argue against your client getting the death penalty at 1:00. I normally drink Grisedick Brothers there but that is just me.

Start with a salad. All of them are good. Very fresh and interesting. But then get what you are there for which is either pizza or calzone. I am currently higher on the pizza than the the calzone but the calzone is excellent too. My problem is that they use the buffalo mozzerella rather than good old fashioned processed mozzerella like God intended. But the crust is perfect. The sauce is generally very good and their red sauce just has a little...itty bitty bit of heat. They are good and slightly bigger than your head.

Normally I would hate a place like this. It says shit on the menu like:
“Crusts available in Original, Honey Wheat or Gluten Free
Vegan – daiya cheese substitute available”.
I don’t even know what that means. Get original. It is awesome. They have all kinds of items and they are all fresh. I have been extremely boring and generally get sausage and pepperoni. It is really good. Also, they only serve pizza in 12” pies and they serve two but I like to try and eat one by muself because I am after all a gross pig. I am generally of a mind right now that it is the best pizza in St. Louis. They are doing everything right currently and it is kind of a fun destination. perhaps one of you can get to Vin Du Set and tell me what that is all about. But you would have to likely get a job first and move out of your parent basement. Here is the link:

http://pwpizza.com/our_menu

Thanks GIVING! Weekend Address

My fellow diners. Lincoln did it. He was a Republican, how hard can it be? At Glendale Lutheran our now retired Pastor Steve Albers used to read Lincolns Thanksgiving Day Proclamation every year. I internalized it, loved it, got sick of it, and came back around to it again. It is a pretty nice piece of writing:

http://showcase.netins.net/web/creative/lincoln/speeches/thanks.htm

There is much to be Thankful for this year. We are bringing troops home from over seas. The NBA season was delayed and almost canceled. The Republicans are debating every few nights and it is proving that the scariest ones, really are the scariest ones and as divided as we are, we really do not want obviously crazy people running the government. The Democrats should be doubly pleased because the only candidate who could obviously beat Obama, John Hunstsman has been abandoned by the party and the press. It has been a mild fall. Hurricanes have not been an issue. Corn prices are at a record high which is good for farmers and perhaps will make high fructose corn syrup too expensive to put in everything. According to the government more than 91% of us are employed. The economies sluggish pace, still appears to be a pace going up. Fewer Americans are killing one another. The show “Charlies Angels” was canceled. Indeed a great number of blessings.

As I prepare to write the annual family Christmas letter (I believe my son Jon took it over last year) I can really contemplate that despite all the negativity. Despite Glenn Beck predicting the end of the civilized world due to the dreaded and un-named “them” and the even more suspicious “they”... our democracy still stands free and America is still the most blessed country on the earth. Despite the inability of congress to do anything. Despite our President’s inability to lead on economic issues... I and my family are still eating, driving, working, sleeping in a warm, secure, gun free house. I am blessed with friends and acquaintances who tolerate me, amuse me and sometimes banter with me. I am, a lot to tolerate.

Once again despite the ravings about to come about this years “war on Christmas”, I continue to be allowed to worship at Glendale Lutheran Church with my family and my other Protestant, Catholic, Jewish, Hindu and Muslim brothers continue to worship unmolested (with a few sad exceptions) as we, and they please. The ability to exercise freedom of religion is such a gift and it is not that way in all parts of the world and we should be very, very, thankful. We also are blessed with opportunities to serve other people every day and all of us have the talents and possessions to share to make other people’s burdens easier and that is a huge blessing.

I am pleased to have a newish band that I like named Dawes.

I am especially blessed by the tolerance of my wife and children...and the aforementioned friends.

I am really thankful we got most of the family over, our bird turned out OK and we had an awesome day.

I am thankful to catch up a little at work.

I am thankful that Michigan beat Ohio State.

I know it has not been a great year for everyone. I work every day with people who have literally had the shit kicked out of them economically but I am blessed because even these people, staring financial ruin in the face, are able to wake up every morning, put a brave face on and go out and do what they can to take care of themselves and their families. And in this great country they are able to. With all of the divisiveness, with all the harsh partisanship and name calling and petty bickering at every level of government and politics, this is a time to reflect on how blessed we are to live here. How blessed we are to fight with words instead of guns. How blessed we are to worship free. How blessed we are to gather with our families and be Thankful, for one long weekend every year, and have that spirit of gratefulness which God wishes we could muster every moment of every day.

So on this Thanksgiving day weekend I am thankful to God for the sacrifice of his son for my sins. I am thankful to and for my immediate and extended family. Life is good. Have a beer and go to bed.

Saturday...In The Bar... Bogarts and iTap (International Tap House)

Soooooo.... often I find myself at loose ends on a Saturday afternoon. I work in the morning when I am in town. Generally this is due to a lack of imagination and a general lack of motivation on my part. This makes me sad. There are many fun and wonderful things to do and eat in the Lou. I bitch about living here a lot but... God help me...I really like it here. Yesterday my wife was hosting another wedding shower for another of the innumerable children of our friends who are betrothed. Fortunately it was being held at someone elses house but there was still lots of set up, slicing of fruit, brewing of tea, lacy things and all thing imasculine and to be avoided.

I had considered making another run to Tienda Ranchito with the father of the groom and the poor lost soul whose wife was actually hosting the party. it is a festive thing to do because it calls for going to another State and not going to gamble or go to topless bars. This generally adds to self esteem. For one reason or another it seemed likje a reach so I suggested Bar B Que and specifically suggested either Pappy’s or Bogarts. Pappys has become an institution but Bogarts burst on the scene in the last year. They are related somehow in management or former management or ownership or something. Details, as is often the case, elude me.

So we all drove in to Soulard. Now I love Soulard. Lots of good bars, some decent food, too damn much blues music that all sounds the same but it is an area with character and history. It is kind of cool. I always explain to out of towners that when you lose your license on your 3rd DWI, you move to Soulard so you can walk to bars...and catch public transportation. It is really the only option unless you are going to stop drinking, or go to jail. But I digress. Bogarts is on the south west corner of Soulard Farmers Market on Lafayette.

There is always a line but this should not intimidate unless it is really cold. We walked in and there was a guy standing there handing out these brilliant...BRILLIANT chicken wings that were smoked and seasoned. We immediately started looking on the menu for them when we were informed that they “were not available” because they just did not have enough room in the smoker to make it a menu item. Shit. But we chatted up the guy and asked if they had beer and that is when the brilliance started. He said, “No but you can order a carryoiut and take it down to iTap or you can call in and we will deliver down there.” BRILLIANT!

Bogarts Menu: http://bogartssmokehouse.com/menu/

We grabbed a carryout menu and walked the 30 yards to iTap and settled in at the bar. iTap, The International Tap House, is one of those places that have 62,000 beers and tap and over 2 million different bottled beers. Once agin, I could not give a shit because I drink (in order of preference) Busch, Stag and Pabst. I am not proud of this. I do like good beer but obviously putting good beer in front of me is kind of a “pearls before swine” proposition. We settled into the bar and dialed up or order and they said “ten minutes and you can walk straight to the counter and not wait in line”. Despite all the beer selections we ordered some Schlafly Kolsch and a Boulevard Pale Ale (because they have a cheaper price for Missouri Beers when Missouri is playing) and we settled in to watch some Missouri texas football along with a little Michigan State.

Tap House Website: http://www.internationaltaphouse.com/

We walked down and got the food. One guy got a pulled pork sandwich and the other and I both got the ½ slab of ribs with an order of meat. They gave us a selection of sauces abd we chowed down. The iTap at the bar has three sweet large flat screens which makes it easier for an old guy like me. They also have a few tables and some couchy, loungy areas. I think they only serve beer. I did not see anyone smoking but I have stopped paying attention. The ribs were absolutely unstoppable. I had always gone pulled pork before but the ½ slab was meaty and perfect with great smoke and a little spice. When ribs are good, they are always “the best ribs ever” and these were THE BEST RIBS EVER! They really were good. Moist and plenty of meat. I did not even get to my pulled pork or any of the sides because the ribs were so much. I ate it today for lunch.

I really do have to recommend this as a great way to watch football and eat ribs. It is definitely a boy thing. I guess girls could be allowed but with beer, football and ribs wouldn’t that be kind of stupid? That is all for now, I am too good to you people.

Diner Review: La Tienda Ranchito, Fairmont City Illinois

Sooooo seriously, it would appear that my FFL Franchise is on it’s way to a really, REALLY unprecedented 2nd year championship. If that happens I plan to quit practicing law and just bask in being a GOD AMONG MEN for a year or so. Fantasy Football might easily be one of the stupidest things that i do but it does keep you focused week to week on the NFL which I guess is a good thing if you are 50, like me, your children have abandoned you, like me and your wife is happiest when you are parked in front of the TV (where you can be found, observed and or quaranteened) and not pressuring her for sex on the weekend. The league is made up primarily of plaintiff’s attorneys and as near as I can tell they take great risks and generally make butt loads of money. There are some losers in the league who are not like that, like me and an investigator and an “Investment advisor”. It is NOT an exlectic group but it is an interesting one.

Three of us are pretty much locked at our desks all day emailing inanities and annoying the others by filling their boxes. The rest occasionally wade in. One of the only benefits I have seen from the league other than the millions in prizes I won last year is that it gives me a network of people who really like food and eat out almost every day and several of them eat out every night. This has lef to the following discovery in Fairmont City Illinois. It is Tienda El Ranchito, located at 2565 N 32nd St. in Fairmont City, IL 62201. Their phone is (618) 875-1521.

This place is....unstoppable. I have been to all the places on Cherokee and have a great respect for them. the same can be said for Durango on Page and a couple of the places in Overland. They are all literally shovelling out high quality food every day at a very reasonable price but Tienda is to be much lauded and glorified. Every time I go (and I have been there 5 times now) I drive by it. Take 55/70 East and get off at the fairmont City Exit that has the place that was formerly an old Venture. take a right on Collinsville Road. If you go left you see the burial mounds and eventually get to Fairmont Park, but if you go right it will sneak up on your left. On your right you will see the looming landfill by the highway. It sits back from the road and has one sign. When you park go to the left to find the door.

When you go in it is just a Mexican grocery with all the beauty that entails including tons of pepper and peppers and masa and Mexican sugar cane coke and little Mexican chotchkes and a full meat counter with all nature of chicken, pork and other treats, If you bear to your left as you go in and follow the wall it leads to to the restaraunt and bar in back and you have arrived in heaven. The TV’s during the week carry a steady stream of some Mexican MTV and another one will have on the Telemundo soap opera and if at all possible soccer will also be on. That is VERY important. On Saturdays there is also football (as opposed to Futbol) and Sundays they shgow the pro games. They have a full bar. they have a Facebook page:

http://www.facebook.com/pages/Tienda-El-Ranchito/120919354588146

The place is normally chocked full of the nicest people in the world. the staff tends to be helpful and patient although they can get busy. they will bring you out home made chips along with verde and a little red sauce and some of the best salsa your going to get. really simple with onions, tomato and cilantro and with the chips, heaven. They have a decent selection of cerveza and all the Mexican beers are of course served with lime because without the lime they have almost no flavor at all. Still, they are refreshing.

I must admit that I have been relatively narrow in my review of their offerings. As with breakfast I play in a certain wheelhouse and have a fairly telescopic view of the oferings. That having been said they are making the BEST tacos in a town that now has a LOT of good places to get good tacos. Recently I went for a Saturday lunch because I had heard (therough the FFL grapevine) that they make fresh corn tortillas on Saturday. This was not a lie. I ordered the carnitas and the pollo. They are served with onion, cilantro and lime and with the fresh buttery corn tortilla it was more than a small slice of heaven. My date had a chalupa which although i was incredulous about, looked good and he said was outstanding. The meat in both my tacos was floavorful without being overly seasoned and the heavy cilantro, fresh onions and a squeeze of lime made them absolutely perfect.

It is not often i can write about a place as nothing but a fan but that is the case with Tienda El Ranchito. I did a little more fact finding in another taquiria over there in what we will now dub :The Fairmont City Project”. I will report more on that later. For now, Tienda El Ranchito. 9 Slingers on the 10 scale. Quoting the old Milwaukee’ss Best commercial, “It don’t get no better!”

A Boston Surprise

“I have come to know the wish list of my father.
I have come to see the shipwrecks where he wished.
I have come to wish out loud, from the overdressed crowd,
Come to witness now the sinking of the ship...”

-Joe Pug

So. Boston. October 10th. My borthday. Time to take stock or perhaps after a little more vodka to stake tock. It has been an awesome birthday and perhaps I will recount the trip later. I am still in Boston as I peck away but there seems a gravity that needs to be addressed. Of course I know it does not or at least it does not by me but... here goes.

Boston is awesome. We have never been here before and we are renting the second floor of a brownstone in the South end of the Back Bay. Evidently it is a historically gay area and history has stayed true and it is charming. We have done a lof fun stuff but yeaterday Sandy and I visited the Kennedy Museum out at U-Mass. I was vaguely interested and Sandy was really interested so we took the T out and took another shuttle and there we were.

It sits on the bay. A big glass and concrete facade with a giant (6 story) flag hanging inside of it. We had to wait about 20 minutes between tours and then were ushered to a little theater where they basically told us about the world leading up to his election and gave us a little Kennedy family history. The world is in turmoil, the Russians are about to blow us up, the 3rd world is heaving with early growing pains and everyone hates America as the leader of the former western colonial governments.

In walks the good looking, bornwell, Havahd boy who has a congressional seat and then a Senate seat purchased for him. He walks into office with a beautiful, horsey-set, monied wife and presides over this short, nightmarish Presidency. At every step he faces unbelievable challenges of a bad economy, and Russian pressure and plays hard with everyone he fights with. His speech from his inaugural was a tour de force of everything a leader should bring complete with the call for action, the rallying cry for a country which has been lost. Everyone recalls this fabulous, brilliant line which lunched a thousand programs for the assitance of others:
“And so, my fellow Americans: ask not what your country can do for you - ask what you can do for your country.”

But equally impressive was this line or observation:
“If a free society cannot help the many who are poor, it cannot save the few who are rich. “

Is anyone listening those words of wisdom now? Are any Christians paying attention?

These were not the blatherings of a guy out huckstering and posturing for votes. These were the words of an American, who had fought for his country and had a vision of us being a greater country than anyone, even he had imagined. A leader by example. And by words. Although in our 24 hour news cycle and lack of civility his personal life would have brought him down hard.

The most striking thing about the entire tour, the entire exhibit to me was the headline from a Des Miones newspaper saying “Republicans and Democrats Applaud Presidents Speech”. In what world could that happen in 2011? Obama gave some really good speeches but he was not brave enough to call on us a Kennedy did. That was a bridge too far for him and he, and we will suffer for his weakness and his fear. He had an opportunity to grab us and call us out to be a greater country, to redefine the discussion, to redefine greatness as not being a half million dollar house, a Mercedes and children who want for nothing, but to be a country that leads by example, focused on its religious heritage (not to preach to others, but) to lead and serve as Christ had served and through our example save our country, ourselves and the world.

Instead we labor in acountry where the rich keep getting richer on an accelerated basis. People who do nothing but make bets make tens of millions, hundreds of millions of dollars a year while job creators and the working people scramble for the rest. Which is fine. The rest is fine and we are lucky to have it, but what about those below us? How can they live with the people at the top insisting that they must make more? If they don’t make more they will leave. If they are taxed more, they won’t want to work anymore! I have never met a millionaire who would not keep working because he was taxed. I am not saying taxes are the answer, they are not! Not even close, but when we do not tax, when we stop regulating because it kills jobs, we lose site of the fact that human nature is selfish and those at the top, the very top, will take the want and change the rules through their money and power to keep what they want.

I am so frustrated right now by the same people who declare “American Exceptionalism” and extol our entrepenurial spirit, who run our largest countries but are telling us that “situations are too uncertain to invest their huge piles of cash”. There is nothing exceptional about fear. There is nothing exceptional about hoarding. Lets invest in ourselves and our values again so that there will be no doubt who leads the world. We are a city on a hill and that will not go away unless we allow our leaders, in politics and business to lead us through fear to make selfish, short sited choices.

We need another leader to call on us to be better. All of us. Together. One Country. One Nation. One People. I am ready for that man or woman to step forward. In the meantime we had best work with what we got.

Later this week I am going to explain why we need to consider rounding up and shooting all of our State Senators and State House Members. Should be a hoot.

The Charge Of The Lightweight Brigade

Earlier this week I had a slight nervous breakdown and posted this on Facebook:

““OK...R.E.M. disbands ten years too late and now the U.S. Government is threatened with shutdown again. REALLY? REALLY? Again? We seriously cannot do any better than this? This is leadership? From anywhere on either side of the aisle? People pay taxes to support this type of leadership? People die on the battle field to support your current way of governing our great country? Our economy is in decline, people are not working and you squabble like petulant children. Every member of congress, Senator or House Member should be hanging in their head in shame. Real shame.
"It's the end of the world as we know it..." R.E.M.””

Slightly over wrought? Way over wrought? Probably the latter but really guys, this is embarrassing. I had overblown expectations for our President to use his HUGE popular support to be transformative. It retrospect that was very childish but we had come from a Presidency that was so stage managed and tone deaf that I needed change and certainly John Mc Cain was not the change I needed. I can still shudder to think about how his Presidency would look and we would all be beating on an old man. At least with Barrack we are beating on a young man in the prime of his life. But even though he was dealt an unplayable hand, he has played through every attempt to unite our country under a banner of real, PROUD change. Congress failed him totally, first the Democratically run congress and then the democratic minority dealing with a Republican majority in the House of Representatives who was elected with a mandate from the people, God and the Constitution to thwart anything else he tried. But the original fault is with the Democratic congress originally which played the same liberal, entitlement program that has been pretty thoroughly debunked by our countries history. Nancy Pelosi sucked...and she looked really, really scary, especially when she was worked up. The President, upon getting to his office should have asked she and Reed to resign their leadership posts because it was not what this country needed. He didn’t. Now we are here.

My brother, whom I love, is a Tea Party Conservative. God Bless him and them and their cause because they have changed the argument. I don’t believe they have changed it for the better but they have changed it and that is indeed what makes our country the greatest country in the world...still...no matter what the nay sayer’s say. They have successfully thwarted anything being done by government. Seriously, anything. Now I don’t pretend to know what the proper role of government is but I will tell you that it has to have a role and it is our largest employer and that tearing it down quickly, threatening to shut it down every time there is a spending bill, is reckless and stupid. Obama will be a one term President unless they run a crazy man like Perry or a crazy woman like Bachman. You cannot say stupid things frequently in public, and then stand by them and double down. Both of these candidates confuse this for courage and fortitude. What worked on their small stage (and Texas no matter what they tell you is an intellectually small stage) will be a disaster on Broadway (likely because of the pointy headed New York Intellectual Elite). So that is going to take care of itself. Run whomever you want and they should win and they too will likely be a one term President because we are in a deep trough with no easy way out.
But back to my brother. In regard to politics we agree on nothing. Ever. This might almost be a point of pride for both of us. But we have found a common desire and we need another one term President. We need someone who is brave enough to say the following:
1. We are in a deep, bad economy.
2. Government cannot spend or save us out of it
3. The American People are going to have to get us out of it.
4. We are going to have less government services and our churches and not for profits have got to start really stepping up because there will be needs that the government simply cannot meet for the needy and for those without a voice. This is a tragedy but this is reality.
5. We are going to pay more in taxes.
6. Our standard of living as we knew it was the creation of a bubble and is not sustainable. We can argue about this but time and economics have proven it.
7. Our standard of living will still be the highest in the world and we can lead like America should lead, by example.
8. Social security retirement age needs to be rolled back.
9. Means testing for benefits needs to take place. (I don’t know if my brother would agree with that one but my point is that we should not pay out the “safety net” of social security to people like Warren Buffet, or maybe even to people like me who have managed to put some monies away for retirement.)
10. Having troop fight wars overseas (even with radio controlled airplanes) is expensive AND we are going to have to figure out how to employ and equip all these troops we are bringing home for civilian life and it will be VERY expensive for a while but we have to invest in our best.
11. Something has to be done about health care. Here my brother and I would totally disagree so I will stop but that is the third rail of debt. Social security, War and Health care. Something has to be done about health care. Stopping frivelous lawsuits, stopping waste will not even cover next years % growth of the costs. So...something has to be done about health care costs and we will leave it at that for now.

So we need another one term President after Obama or even better we need Obama to embrace for his last year and a half, the role of being a one term President. Lead us to what is next. Dignity. Real Christian values that question our materialistic and militaristic culture and speaking the truth with love, rather than speaking the truth, when convenient, for votes and campaign dollars. But if not Barrack, and not the next Republican President, than it has to be the next guy or we are in some deep shit and the country will be so angry that we will elect a madman. So watch, pray and expect more of these guys. Congress? We cant shoot them. So lets vote them out and see if we can get some people who put America before their party and who can think for themselves without an agenda of talking points to get people to clap and sing God Bless America. What we need as President and in Congress are real people. Smart people. Creative people who are willing to take risks to do what is right and what this country needs. It didn’t have to be this hard. God already has blessed America, and he still is.


*cue the large eagle flying down with American flag in it’s beak...cue the country song about God and Country...fade to black*

ELECTION 2012

Sooooo.... I have been gone but have not been missed. It is Saturday night. I am sober. I just cooked a pot roast. My wife is out of town. My kids have moved out. No one really gives a shit about me. I am sober. Thinking about drinking makes my body hurt. I have neglected to send bills out for my law practice for two months and when my wife does return...she will kill me. did I mention I am sober? One of my dogs got into the bacon grease jar under the sink and has been puking up bacon smelling dog food all evening which slightly (but not profoundly) diminished my enjoyment of the pot roast. I say the movie “Drive” tonight. Women love Ryan Gosling. I don’t know why but my talent at judging man flesh is...”limited”. Gosling had to say less than 100 words in the whole film. He did kill at least 4 people however. Silent, handsome...psychotic. What is not to love. The movie was well films but just too slow for an action film. I am still sober.

So it is politics today. We are well over a year from the election and I am exhausted. I do not understand anything. Why, oh why would the Republicans embrace Rick Perry? Why will the country elect another Texan? It is very early and we have no ideas about what skeletons he has but one has to believe if he is a graduate of Texas politics that they would have crucified him early and often. It is clear he is a classic pork barrel Republican who really knows how to help his friends who are now all OK because they are “job creators”. Which is another thing. How did everyone who makes over 200k a year become a “job creator”? Why do they believe that we are so stupid? Why do we keep proving them right. The idiot buzzwords of the season:

1. The “Elite”
2. The “top 1%”
3. Taxing the jets
4. Romneycare
5. Obamacare (recycling from 2010 election)
6. HPV vaccinations causing mental retardation, “Government Injections!”
7. Do nothing congress
8. Leading from behind
9. No tax pledge
10. Ponzi Scheme
11. Corporations are people...like soylent green....IT’S PEOPLE!!!!
12. PASS THIS JOBS BILL!

There are a hundred more. I mean, really...seriously... I am not going to make it this time. Last election I was excited about Obama. Now I want to be clear, I do not blame him AT ALL for the lack of recovery from the recession. I am not even going to blame him when it double dips and i will not even blame him if it turns into the next great depression. Who you have as President does matter but we are reaping the seeds that were sewn for the last 80 years. But seriously... he has shown himself to be a really typical left wing politician. So boy would I be ready to get rid of him, but for the fact that the Republican candidates are THE WORST.

The Tea Party has totally skewed the Republican party. Everything is an absolute, no compromise eternal truth. Do not concern yourself with facts. Do not concern yourself that there are people who disagree with you. NO NEW TAXES. CUT ALL SPENDING. MAKE GOVERNMENT SMALLER. PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY. ONE NATION UNDER GOD! The sad thing is that on one level or another I agree with all these platitudes. I just also see that government does have a purpose. The free market and capitalism do not naturally solve all the worlds problems and that there really are no simple answers to the problems our country faces. So I will not be able to vote for any of the Republicans I have seen so far. I also have to admit, I really would have a hard time voting for a Mormon. I really feel bad about that but I really don’t think I can. And I like John Huntsman. He sounds like a totally reasonable guy to me. But he is a Mormon.

So here is what I want and what the country deserves. We deserve a candidate who is going to say the following:
“This is how it is, our country is in deep financial trouble. The world “including China” is in deep financial trouble as well. We don’t make a lot of things here anymore and the things we do make are military stuff (which makes a lot of jobs) and hi tech stuff and software (which does not). But it will take some time to figure this out but it is unlikely that we are going to bring a lot of high paying manufacturing jobs back here to restore the middle class. If someone tells you we are, they are lying and telling you they think you are stupid. Along those same lines, the housing industry, ain’t coming back. That was a bubble. Houses will need to be built, as population expands. Also, while we should not embrace illegal immigration we need to keep in mind that there are roughly ten million illegal immigrants here, we cannot to find them and send them back and... by the way by 2050, with or without illegal immigrants, we are likely to be a Hispanic nation. Embrace it! Change is good. Don’t be afraid. We are the greatest country in the world. The new economy might not be the consumption economy of the past. We might have a lower standard of living. We might have to live inter-generationally. We need to redefine what it means to be a GREAT country. People are going to have less government services. people are going to pay more taxes. Don’t let simpletons on the right tell you that it can all be done by cutting services and don’t let the Democrats tell you that we can make it up by “taxing the rich”. We need to demand that they treat us as adults, but in order to do that we have to hold them to a higher stadard and demand candor, even if it alienates the base.

Enui, Or The New Laziness?

Sooooo.... it has been an interesting year. They all seem to be that way now. Taking stock as summer bangs down hard with some sweet weather. It is a morning in the office to be introspective and to avoid work...and the fucking phone. I think you all know I am a reasonably (or unreasonably) religious person but i have it on excellent authority (Beetle Bob) that in heaven there are no phones. No smart phones, dumb phones, fax machines, computers, iPads, think pads, game boys, X-Boxes, Play Stations or anything else that would allow (force) you to be interrupted from whatever we are supposed to be doing there (praising God eternally is, I believe the party line). I will not miss them. I hate them. When mine rings I flinch. This is most certainly true.

Yesterday I had a root canal. I am an incredible sissy as far as pain goes. This on a pain scale was not so bad (once you get the shots) but I did have my mouth wedged open for 1 ½ hours and I do not recommend that. Still, I was in pretty severe pain and now I am not. Still, there is something awful about being in that chair, having your mouth propped open and not feeling like you can close it, or pause, and hearing the whine of the drill. If heaven is a world without cell phones, that is probably hell. If it is not perhaps God could rethink it.

So yes, I digressed. A weird year. I cannot seem to read this year. Normally I would be about 15 books into the year but now when I go to bed I am good for about a page before I go to sleep. My discretionary (non-work related) reading is pretty limited to the Wall Street Journal and the New Yorker. I dislike the Murdoch paper’s hyper conservative agenda but their coverage world wide is better than the Times as far as hard news and catching up as to the arts. They have clearly surpassed USA Today (Highlights Magazine) as the daily of people who can actually read. The New Yorker is of course the opposite of the Journal with a bitter liberal bent that is whiningly become just as difficult to swallow. But the articles and in depth reporting is awesome. When they do a piece, you learn if you read it. Of course I cannot retain anything but that is neither here nor there. Bottom line is that I have not read any books this year that have really stuck with me. I also have stopped reading about 5 books because they did not ever grab me but it is hard to be grabbed when going about it at a page a day. I am taking my final mini-vacation and am thinking about buying 10-20 comic books (not graphic novels but actual comic books) to see if I can kick start an interest in fiction again.


I have seen a lot more live music lately and have not been blogging about it. Frank Black, the Old 97’s, the Decemberists, Joe Pug, Alejandro Escovedo, David Lowery, a couple of house concerts, Hayes Carll, Elizabeth Cook, James Mc Murtry, Chuck Berry (checking him off bucket list) and I am sure some others who have been lost already in the haze of middle aged memory. But, I seem to be losing touch for new music as it takes too much work, and time. Where did I find the time to listen to all that new music. Sift through the drech. Let the cream rise to the top through repeated listening. I am not even going to Lou Fest this year I do not think. I might change my mind at the last minute but while last year was chock full of bands I needed to see I can only recognize the names of a few and those that I do recognize, they are non-essential to see. The Roots? Surfer Bood? Really? I mean Cat Power might be interesting but only on an intellectual level. Her best songs are all someone else's, but I guess the point is that I am becoming intellectually lazy regarding my pursuit of pleasure.
This is troubling. This requires greater thought. This requires an expansion pack. I think the theory is that as i am ageing, I have less energy for frivolous stuff and the meat of life (which is sometimes hard, often annoying, rarely inspiring (with some exceptions for friends and family) is taking up more and more of my seemingly decreasing band width. Troubling times indeed my friends. More later but in the meantime, have a beer, go see some live music, or a movie or (gasp) even a play (though not a musical).

Friends Ruin My Life

Soooooo....I believe we discussed in these pages before the Facebook idea of “Friends”. The word has taken a beating over the last 20 years beginning with the ubiquitous TV show but really now has been victimized. Facebook says I have 512 friends. Any of you who know me know how unlikely it is that I have 5 friends much less 512. I think I have 4-5 close friends including my wife. I might have another 20 or lets be really generous to me, 50 people who enjoy my company and perhaps another 100 who tolerate my bloviating, preaching, adolescent (once again being charitable) sense of humor and extremely poor personal hygiene. So that puts me at around 150 people (including family) who might be considered “friends”. But I come here not to discuss Facebook....

Instead we need to think on my iPhone. I have been very, very careful while establishing my solo law practice over the last 8 months to NOT DOWNLOAD GAMES on my iPhone. There is something so tempting about annoying all of the people and “Friends” around you so that you can lose yourself in your little hand held device. One need only to look around any crowd of people to see... well...everyone under 27...thumbing away on their iPhone or other hand held device. I ask what is going on and I am told, “Angry Birds”. I still don’t know what that means. Why are the birds angry? What was done to them? I have never found out.

But one day I saw my son was playing something that looks like “Scrabble”. I ask and he tells me he is playing “words”. He shows me. I like word games. it does not seem dangerous. On night I have to chaperon my daughters Senior Prom and I know I am going to be bored and so I download it for free from the App Store. It took approximately ½ hour for my wife to start to yell at me. I was obviously obsessed. I was horrible at it to start with because I did not reckon the importance of your double and triple word and letter scores but was more impressed by my own ability to make long words... setting up my competitor. My first game was against a gal I went to law school with 25 years ago. You find your opponents through Facebook or Twitter or just get a random opponent. She killed me. For the record i did better in law school. It became relatively clear to me that with my obsessive compulsive personality that i was doomed. I find I am using my phone more to keep up my game than to keep in touch. That is one of the insidious things about these games.... they wait for you. You get notified when the other guy plays but you can play anytime in like the next...week. But it would be rude to make them wait so you ignore your family, ignore your clients...Friends indeed.

From there I tried Chess With Friends. Slightly disappointing due to not many “Friends” who play but then Hanging With Friends came out and now I had another word game. These are all pretty good games but I am focusing today on what becomes of these “Friends” relationships? If they are used socially on Facebook and now used for gaming, where does it go next. Gambling with Friends? Strippers with Friends? Church with Friends? These people can do anything with me.... by virtue of my iPhone. It is starting to get frightening and I wonder if I am going to need to get another name for the people who I used to call my friends. My real friends, in real life I mean. What do I call them?

My peeps?
My posse?
My...pals?

All of these options seem a little sickening but someone needs to formally protest or perhaps file an injunctive suit to stop them from doing further damage to the concept of being “friends”.
The one thing competing with people by games confirms is... these people are NOT my Friends.

I Am BACK!

Soooooo... it has been a while. I have had a lot to say but the bottom line is in regard to writing there has been no time...no energy. Lethargy and rushing around for work and figuring how to get out of town and then recovering at work and catching up from being out of town have made blogging a luxury that time will not afford. As you can see from this pic, I have not been wasting my time in Michigan with Polka-Fest and what not. So lets do a potpourri .

The Economy: Everything I see is bad but it is bad not from a perspective of things getting worse worse (other than housing prices which will have to continue to drop) but from the perspective of bouncing along the bottom, perhaps for a long time. Republicans are “restoring fiscal sanity” but there will be a huge 2-3 year price for this in the form of unemployed Federal workers and construction people in the private sector who will NOT be working on infrastructure jobs. This is a fact. Obama looks like a one termer but joining in on budget cutting and his own lackluster performance warrant it. The economy will still suck for the 2012 elections. He is toast. He cannot even start a war to jolt the economy because that card has been overplayed. Poor bastard.

Unemployment: I believe that our current unemployment rate and lack of growth are systemic. The Republicans will un-regulate us enough that perhaps we can find another bubble like the tech and housing bubbles that caused us all to learn to like unsustainable life styles but the bubbles will be shorter and shorter lived. We do not mass produce anything here anymore on a cost effective basis. We cannot do it because we believe people who work all day would make a living wage. At least we used to. In a global economy where grunt jobs can be done for dollars a day only an idiot would make anything here. The tech jobs that will be created simply do not need that many people. That is one of the hallmarks of tech. 9-10% unemployment is here till the next bubble. Some politician should be brave enough to say it out loud.

Obama: He has been a disappointment to me. Not because he has not gotten us out of the current economy. I believe and still believe our country needs to be pulled to the left. free market capitalism (unregulated) is a recipe for the top 1% to pack it in even more. It is never enough. Obama had the chance originally to ask us make sacrifices and redefine the conversation. Instead he played politics as usual and even worse, played it badly. In dealing with the Tea Party and their elected minions and every other republican scared by a possible primary challenge if he does not tow the line he negotiated with terrorists. They only understand one thing and that is force. They are willing to shoot the hostages. he should have let the house of representatives not lift the debt ceiling. But it was a total lack of leadership and judgment that he did not get this done during the last budget negotiations. Unforgivable really, embarrassing and it certainly added to our debt downgrade.

The Debt Downgrade: Who gives a shit? Our currency and treasury Bonds are still the benchmark and they will continue to be if slash programs and raise taxes. Be clear though that both these things are a no growth plan for the near future. The debt grading companies will be gone soon because S&P overplayed their hand. As I tweeted the day it happened, “The S&P downgraded Bob Dylans record catalogue for 5 stars to 4 ½ stars.... Asian markets are reeling.

Our Politics: Somehow we have elected and empowered the deck chair reorganizers to run our country. This is not a recent thing but has happened in my life time. The don’t think. They only want to get re-elected. If they do think it is with a zealotry that ill befits a democracy. I remember my 8th grade teacher asking the question about whether you want your elected official to do as the population wants him to do or to do what he believes to be the right thing based on the situation? Everyone said that a politician should do what his constituents (we did not use that word) told him to do (the majority). He said we were idiots. He was right. Ultimately, God have mercy on our souls, we have gotten the government we deserve.

The Republican Candidates: The only way barrack gets elected again is because there is a good chance the Republicans cannot find a credible candidate.

Romney: Paper tiger. leading candidate only because he has been running for 8 years now. If Iowa straw poll does not kill him now, South Carolina Primary will. When he comes to town I hear a prison guard yelling “dead man walking”. he even looks scared. He said “corporations are people” which is enough of a film clip to cost him any election against Obama. Also, and I know this is an awful thing to say in a post racial, politically correct, open minded America (hah, hah and OMG HAH!) I don’t think when push comes to shove we elect a Mormon President. Too much baggage, too new of a religion and I could scare people off him in a paragraph. If you are the Christian right how do you do it? When people start reading The Book of Mormon... this will go poorly for him.

Huntsman: I thought he would be good and run hard. He has been non existent. He is also a Mormon, albeit a good looking one. See above.

Michelle Bachman? Really? I mean REALLY? I know a lot of people think she is “just what this country needs” but she is a fallen Lutheran and she fell the wrong way. She has crazy eyes, is a zealot and when she says hate filled things and gets applauded it reinforces her desire to talk more. She is telegenic but every time says stupid things and not because she is being asked “gotcha” questions. She also loses because we have seen how our most recent short term legislator turned President worked out. Too easy to beat on too many levels.

Gingrich? Already shot himself. Not in the foot but in the head.

Pawlenty” Looks good on paper. Dies early. He brings nothing to the show.

Herman Cain? Herman Cain? I can get angry without watching him explode every time he is in front of the camera. Does anyone really want to give this guy a nuclear football? he lloks like a Commerce Secretary or something to me.

Ron Paul: I love him. he has the courage of his convictions and takes the heat for them. he is consistent to a fault. Small government means SMALL government. Small military, slash entitlements and let people do what they want as long as they do not hurt anyone else. He is unelectable in every sense of the word and he has one crazy, amoral son.

Rick Perry: Pre-annointed, he announced today. he has said a lot of crazy things. he wins elections by narrow margins and in a divided country he gets the nod. He seems to have the nod from the Taliban in the party and they vote 100% in the primaries. It will make an interesting race as we get more into his crony government supported buddies in Texas. If Texas continues to dry up it will hard for him to campaign because there will be more and more suffering in his state. Stupid on immigration. Runs hard to his faith which creates a lot of opportunities to paint as a demagogue. Will do or say anything to get elected. He looks like the candidate.

I am sure I have forgotten a couple of their candidates. I hope it is none of them. Ihope they can raise up a leader which can unite us in the middle. Someone who can claim the majority rather than a coalition carved from a base on the fringe. America needs better than it is being offered but as I said earlier... we are indeed getting what we deserve.

Diner Review: The Happy Cow In Caseyville Illinois

Sooooo....a Diner’s work is never done. These are the things we learn on a hot lazy Saturday morning when I should be at work but have a new place to try. Caseyville. Caseyville is not even really a ville. As near as I can tell it is lower Collinsville to the extent that is possible. It sits directly in Illinois 157 and straddles the optimistically named Canteen Creek. I had no idea it was there. My trip to the Happy Cow also turned up the Caseyville Diner which will now ALSO have to be reviewed. I am, if nothing else, long suffering.

The Happy Cow is very good on the first try. It is a little hard to get to at 601 Main (really Caseyville has a Main Street (also known as Ill. 157). It is right next to some nameless Irish Bar/Restaurant and this reviewers antipathy for the Irish is well noted and documented. The placxe stands alone with a partially paved parking lot, lots of available parking and shade and newspaper machines for both the Post and the Belleville News Democrat. I like the bi-coastal feel of having both dailies for all of their weaknesses. There is not much to the decoration of the place. it looks like someone wanted to open up a restaurant a long time ago and did. They have since decorated it with whatever they could find.

Seating was ample. They had a good crowd (always comforting) and no one eye balled me coming in like I didn’t belong so we will call it welcoming as well. i am currently off of the iced tea for medical reasons and as such cannot opine on this most important aspect of a diner experience but i can say unequivocally that if the place had instant iced tea I would shit myself. The waitress brought me a simple blue menu already turned to the back which had their breakfasts. I ordered and was brought a water and looking around the place I could only describe it as homey. Not charming, but homey, lived in and comfortable. Not dirty either. Very clean. The place is decorated in all shapes and sizes of cows and while not charming it is at worst...amusing. There is no counter, booth or stools and they do have a kitchen rather than a grill but it is pretty clear that this was a house that was gutted to make a restaurant.

My food came, 1 biscuit and gravy, two sausage patties and potatoes. They did not ask what kind of potatoes i wanted other than to ask if I wanted onions in them (yes please). It was all... outstanding. the gravy was hot and thick but not too thick. Whitish in color with a little bit of pepper (I added more) and otherwise great flavor. The sausage patties were not of your standard variety and had a lot of flavor and perhaps even a hint of sage. they were worth coming back for on their own. My potato fetish left something to be desired. The good news is that these were fresh, cut up (sliced not cubed) potatoes and they were cooked a nice brown with some onions added. there was nothing wrong with them, other than they were not hash browns. Still... they were good and a nice accompaniment to the meal. All of this food cost $5.00. That by itself merits a return trip.

I will come back to this place at another date with my wife. She will try the eggs and coffee and I can give a further review. But I would have to say that should one have the misfortune to have to go to Illinois and not just be passing through on their way to somewhere else that The Happy Cow would be an excellent stopping off point for your breakfast meal. I need to make a plan to stop over there for lunch as they are said to have an excellent hamburger. After all... it is where the cows die happy. The concept might challenge “The Omnivore's Dilemma” but... I am OK with it.

8 Slingers on the 10 Scale

Diner Review: The Half and Half

The Half & Half opened in Clayton. It is by no means a diner. It is a fashionable, trendy, delicious and slightly pricey breakfast and lunch place in Clayton. I think it opened June 1 or so, so The Diner Review is once again discharging it’s obligation to be cutting edge and deliver the 411 (and sometimes the 911) to my loyal (if somewhat sad, troubled and empty lifed) readers. I knew nothing of the opening and then one of my loyal dining companions called and suggested it. I of course ignored his suggestion and forced he and a third diner (loser) to commit to going to the Pomme where I had missed my normal weekly outing with St. Louis pre-eminent divorce counsel.

I was going to be dining with two other “lawyers”, both with a large downtown law firm and both, giving them full credit, deeply...deeply troubled. But I digress. A third attorney called me the night before and began to rant in a long monologue extolling the virtues of Half & Half. Now granted, this third lawyer is also somewhat effeminate, fashionable and had gone through at least two wives, so I should not have listened to him either. But I did and I called an audible and ended up arriving first at Half & Half. I understand it is owned and run by the people who own The Good Pie which is a pizza place well defended by those that know. It is on Maryland right next to Almonds. There is ample street parking. They do not open till 7, just like Pomme and the hated First Watch which makes it an anathema for anyone with a paying job and any kind of work ethic but, it is what it is.

The place is nice and sparse with a lot of four top tables and the ones on the wall feel like booths. It is reasonably well lit while not being bright and is tasteful with a white, off white and country blue interior. I sat. I read the Post Dispatch (that took 2 ½ minutes and only because I thoroughly read the law and order section looking for names of friends and clients and thoroughly read the obituaries because if my name is there i don’t need to go work) and noticed that there are no salt and pepper shakers, only a small container filled with sea salt and another with coarse black pepper. Fashionable? Yes. Practical? I am thinking about it.

The breakfast menu is a simple piece of 8 ½ by 11 paper. It looks like this:

http://halfandhalfstl.com/test/menus

It read more like a pastry shop but what the hell? You cannot judge it until or unless you try it and here I was. The iced tea by the way brewed, fresh and awesome. My compatriots arrived. One had coffee, without comment on it’s quality. The other ice tead. We surveyed the menu and made out selections. I opted for the blackberry french toast after I questioned the waitress at some length regarding exactly what constituted mascarpone and brioche”. I leave it to you to figure out. My fellow diner reviewers got the corned bread and chorizo and the fried egg sandwich. All were pronounced “excellent”. The corned bread, though vaguely phallic in presentation was perfect and the Mexican sausage was also very good and the eggs fresh. the fired egg sandwich was served on a bun and frankly looked as perfect as it was pronounced. I also sampled the bacon (flavorful, well cooked and slightly chewy) and even the dreaded “breakfast potatoes” which, since not hash browns, I can only call tolerable in fulfilling my need for tubers in the morning.

There are a number of things troubling about the place. it is not cheap. It seems to cater to a more sensitive and well adjusted group of people. Even if smoking were still legal in a restaurant you would not consider it here and if you did considerate one of the friendly, helpful staff would club you to the ground like a hapless baby seal. It is also troubling to offer veggie options and the inclusion of Brussell sprouts (which they are having a hard time sourcing) into not one, but two breakfast entries is just too....”look at me...look at how clever and healthy I am”, for me.

That having been said, the food was excellent. The service was cheerful, helpful and unpretentious. it would be a GREAT place to take your wife, mother or mother in law... or your “kinda gay” friends. In any case I think it is a welcome addition to the Clayton breakfast scene and the St. Louis one as well. I highly recommend it. Not a classic diner but a good fancy breakfast from nice people.

8 ½ Slingers on the 10 scale.

Tressel, Trazell, Travell, Trome....time for this coach to go home.

Sooooo... it is well documented that I hate Ohio State. Along with Notre Dame they make up the make up the big two of arrogant, self righteous, mighty, we win because God wants us to win and it is the natural order programs in the NCAA. I know a lot of people at very successful NCAA schools. Nebraska, Oklahoma, Texas (formerly Michigan and Michigan State had some claim), Florida, Alabama... you get the idea. Storied programs. But their students never seem dumbfounded when they lose. They are never anticipating that the next National Championship is anything but a year away. They believe it. Every year is THEIR year. But people conspire against them. The refs, the NCAA, cheating coaches for other programs. Everyone is OUT TO GET THEM when you are in the OSU/ND mindset.

Granted ND has kicked themselves around and I really do feel for them because who what talented minority kid would go to a white, conservative, small, academically rigorous school in the armpit of America known as northern Indiana. But OSU? 7 National Championships but you would think from talking to their grads that the last one was just last year. Instead it was 2002. They did have great teams, year after year but in the last 9.... they never took it home. Tressel despite some problems at his last job appeared to be a paragon of virtue. 106-22 is... touched by God (even I see a touch of the design in that kind of a mark) but with their coaches and their players, all of these alumni put these people on a pedestal forgetting that they are just... people.

People make mistakes. Tressel made a mistake. I do not even want to guess or analyze why but the pressure to win in college athletics is relentless and shepherding over even the BEST intentioned 18-22 year olds is a suckers bet. I am sad for the fans but perhaps if everyone put college athletics in its proper place there would be a number of things that might happen:
1. Amateur sports could be just that.
2. Coaches in these programs would not be paid more than the governor or the President of the University. In almost every State the coach of the football team is the highest paid employee in the State. I don’t mean to be coarse, but how fucked up is that?
3. The NFL could start running a minor league as well as the NBA, rather than having it done for them.

In any case, this does suck. The asshole Pete Carroll cheats and cheats and materially damages his school and arguably a lot of kids and jumps to the NFL so his gravy train does not stop. I think, I hope Tressel is classy for that. If he loves the game he will keep coaching somewhere but perhaps it will not be all about the money, the power, the glory... maybe it will be about teaching kids the glory of the game and competition and learning sometimes through losing.

Blah, blah, blah...R.I.P. Jim Tressel.

Concert Review: David Lowery

I come her not to praise David Lowery, but to bury him.

I went to the show with Donaldson and my son Jon. I was really, really excited. I often referred to Lowery as "The Funniest Man In Rock And Roll. I had seen he and his band Cracker ast least 5 times and have the most beautiful memories of seeing them play with Counting Crows at Mississippi Nights. I am no longer sure it really happened but the memory is no less indelible. I am a long time Camper/Cracker/Lowery fan and I attend a reasonable amount of shows each year for an old man of 49.

Johnny Hickman, his long time lead guitar man and collaborator came on and opened and had a perfectly servicable set of country tiwnged rock. leaning on his working class roots he made the guitar sing nd although all the lyrics were much too earnest for anyones taste but the rabid fan, it was a good opening act. earnest and true and he exhibited his extraordinary talent as a guitar player. But Hickman is a side man. An opener. That is none the less extra ordinary but it is what it is. I will never buy his solo stuff. it was (the harshest indictment of all) pleasant.

I was REALLY excited for Lowery. I heard he was going to tell a lot of stories, it made me even more excited. he was always, always an engaging performer with with awesome showmanship. That having been said I have never been more disappointed in a performance, and let down than I was in this one. He came on and had taped down with masking tape his Mac Book. He had a page of handwritten notes and he sat down and began to tell a tale of their (his and Hickman's) time in Iraq. I truly respected what he had done. I was interested.... well into the 5th minute of the story. it went on and on....it digressed...it regressed. It gressed in ways I had never considered which is really quite amazing. then he marched into one of the sweet songs from his new solo CD which if not brilliant, is at least brilliantly done. the song was "I was the man who sold the Arabs the moon". It is a really good song but after the interminable story.... was a dirge. but i persevered. i love this guy and you don't judge a show by one song.

But then he started to tell another story. it too went on forever and I cannot even tell you what it was about and then he started singing "Mery Christmas Emily". A great Cracker diddy that rollicks along in their sad sweet sway. And it was also a dirge. And I started to fall asleep. In an angry, angry way. I went to pee at the end of the song and as I came back he was still telling his third story/song intro that had to do with his love for the English and Victorian times and... I don't fucking know.... but he went into "Deep Oblivion"....from the new CD...and so did I. Donaldson had already left and I was embarrassed I had brought him out When that song ended and the fourth monologue started (and by the way "Deep Oblivion " also seemed like a funeral dirge...I went and got the check. It is always a long process getting the check at the Duck Room. I commented to the bartender that this was the worst thing I had ever seen and he nodded agreement. I paid the check. He was still talking. I got Jon. We began walking past the Cracker merch table....up the steps...he was still talking. One hours... three songs....hell. .I walked out at 11 having heard 4 songs in an hour. I was sleepy, bored and angry. I have always told people that Lowery is the funniest guy in rock but brevity is the soul of wit and he is no Mark Twain. The stories were long, rambling, contained multiple digressions and the punchline was never enough of a pay off. I never walk out. I respect the artist. I bought Neil Young's CD "Trans" for God's sake. The whole show.... 10 SONGS! that included 2 encores.

I know I sound like a grumpy old man but the show left me really sad and the audience sadder. And I hated the audience. they were awful. At least 1/2 of them encouraged him to keep talking. They laughed knowingly. They applauded when he needed. God I hated them. This was not a good show. I have never walked out on a show before in the literally hundreds of shows i have seen over the years. He needs to play his songs. Do short intros and let the music talk because he has put together a great body of work. But he is no Mark Twain.

He is no Mark twain. Someone should tell him. Even now 12 hours later I am incredulous over how un-entertaining I found him and the songs, though bueatiful were dirge-like when combined with the monolgue. Hickman by contrast was light and self efacing and though much less of a lead guy, put on a show. If you have tickets to see him on this tour, stay home. I got on the RFT site and wrote a comment about how bad the show was. I went to the Lincoln Hall/Schubas site where he was playing the next night and begged people not to go. You might think this is harsh but I decided that when Lowery comes through town again I want him to look me up, just so he can punch me in the face. At least that would be engaging.

He is no Mark Twain. He aint even Garrison Keillor.

Message From The Other Side

Soooooo.... as I was wisely waiting for 6:00 to come yesterday evening I was with my family, out to dinner and clutching my Mac Book (TM) to my breast when suddenly the beam of light came down through the roof of the bar where we were drinking beer, eating 5 pounds of chicken wings and (sadly) watching NASCAR on the bars big screen. I of course had been expecting it which was why I was clutching the computer to my breast as I drank my bottle of Busch and ate chicken wings awkwardly with one hand. My family, used to my (for lack of a better word) foibles) made no comment and other than the awkward stares from other people in the bar it was a nice evening.

Once the beam of light hit I was able to see that my plan had worked and I was able to bring the computer up into the firmament with me so that I could keep up this memo as i observe the end times down below. It was a little awkward in the bar in that the beam of light came only for me. I had suspected I was a better (truer, moraller, more rightouser) Christian than the rest of my family and felt a pang for them as I was lifted up, wondering for a moment whether it reflected poorly on me since my wife and children were not going to be saved but than i remembered that God was perfect so he clearly would not have made a mistake and they must have been much worse people than they were letting on.

There were very few other beams of light coming up from the south county of St. Louis which also did not surprise me. I believe my numeroligist compatriots predicted only about 200,000 of us would be going. That had always seemed light to me in light of the fact that there are about 7 billion of us here and God was generally so just and loving but once again, I am sure he had it figured out. One beam of light did hold my dog Lola, a sweet but stupid beast. I looked for a beam of light containing my other dog Lily and than thought...”not so much”. Lily had of course led an evil and selfish life. Looking down and taking it in, it seems that my family is handling my departure remarkably well. My wife just refers to it as “my little stunt” and after trying to negotiate the bill at the bar down due to my absence the family went home and watched TV and drank some wine.

There appears to be a remarkable lack of lava, fire pestilence.... Even war seems to have taken a break. I am sitting somewhere... and I am sitting comfortably although there does not seem to be a chair. In prep for this moment I had researched where I would be going on Wikipedia which described the firmament as follows:
“The firmament was a great tent-like[8] ceiling made of solid crystalline material,[9] which might be pierced by skyscraper and gimlet.[10] It had many windows, some of which opened and closed for the sun and moon to travel through[11] or to let water, which was held above, fall through as rain.[12] On top there were also warehouses of snow and hail.[13] Stars were small objects that were attached tenuosly to its surface.[14]”.
Right now I am getting none of that. My retarded dog is sitting at me feet. The dog is slightly agitated and is drooling and shedding. I do not see a lot of other people who I know although no one seems particularly Beattiffic.

In fact as I look into the distance I see a lot of people hovering up in the sky, stretching and generally looking confused and the group seems rather uninspiring and perhaps... sketchy. Looking down I see that things seem to be going particularly well down on earth. Although I do not see them in the firmament with me it appears all of the announced Republican cantidates for President other than Ron Paul are gone. Al Zurkowi...gone. Muammer Khaddafy...gone. Looking to my left I see a guy who I recognize from his publicity stills as Kim Jon Il and behind him and to his left is...Bashar Assad. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was left behind, Khameni was up here with me. Every principal of Goldman Sachs was with me as were the oil company Presidents and that is what sealed it.

The dawning recognition that 200,000 of us were “raptured” and the rest of the world was left behind and it was becoming pretty clear that the world was getting along pretty well without us. I was looking with some concern and waiting for the other shoe to drop. Then it did. And God took Joplin.

***

So it is all funny and in good fun until life interposes itself. Global warming and our hoggish lives moves the jet streams north and Missouri becomes Arkansas and everything including the end of days becomes less funny because for 150-200 of my fellow Missourians, when the count comes in, it was the end of days. And that...that is what pisses me off about this awful, self righteous posers who believe they know God’s plan. Only God knows his plan. But if you have your heart open you can discern God’s plan for you and it is a markedly nicer plan than the life you are living. I know God’s plan for me and that is despite all my weaknesses, petty cruelties, limitations and stupidities... he can do great things with me. And he is. And he will. And I will live forever with god in heaven and hopefully too with my family and dear friends. And these people who claim to know the plan for the end of days... they cheapen it. They demean it. I know I am going to live forever in heaven with God. I would just assume that everyone I know do the same. I think that is God’s plan.

Diner Review: Luvy Duvy's

Soooo....there is always some stress and embarrassed when you have to read about something in the Post Dispatch in order to realize that you should have been there. It is even more embarrassing when Larry reads the Post and calls you on it. I mean, when you ARE the St. Louis Diner Review you do have some things that are just your job and beating the under staffed, haphazard Post Dispatch to the punch is one of those duties. So the Post ran something last week in the GET OUT or LIVING section... or whatever they call it now covering Luvy Duvy’s.

I have seen Luvy Duvy’s before. On my way to get tacos on Cherokee at La Vallasina Luvy Duvy’s sat there, brooding on the corner of of Jefferson and Arsenal. I always assumed it was just a bad lunch and dinner place, doomed to go out of business. Garish pain on the sides and the windows. I had no idea that they had breakfast, There was no signage. Someone should speak to them regarding modern advertising. The building was garishly painted and I assumed extremely incorrectly that it was another “soul food” place like “Sweetie Pies”. I mean Sweetie Pie, Luvy Duvy... you cant blame me.

So the Post gave the place a nice review and said it opened at 7 and like a fool, I believed them. So I drove around south St. Louis. It was Cinco De Mayo (March 7th according to the posters) and they were setting up Cherokee for a party. Cherokee Street west of Jefferson is becoming a cool treasure with the excellent food and the print shop and that incredibly pretentious independent record store that I never know the name of. Anyway, I killed an hour and then went back at 8:05 and there already several cars on Jefferson in front of the place which is a really good sign.

I went in and the place is basically set up like a corner bar. I immediately knew I was in the new cool breakfast place in town. We have not had a cool place in a while. Really the last one was “After” which was on Manchester down in the Grove. It was a “cool” place and this place has a great vibe. Arguably even better than that because it was older and a little darker which... is good in the morning. It was also cool because of the servers. It reminded me of my recent trip to the “Waveland” in Des Moines where I entered and was instantly aware that I was not cool enough to be there. Since this was in the Lou and it was not a directly post college crowd... it was cool but not too cool. I am not sure I used the word cool enough in this paragraph. Are we cool on that?

So I walk in and get a seat next to the wall and start to read my Saturday Post. I found out a while ago that unless you get home delivery, there is no Saturday Post. Not in the machines. not in new stands...nothing. Who knew? It is hard bearing the St. Louis Dining world on my tiny little back but we all have a cross to bear. So, since I do not eat eggs I ordered biscuits and gravy with sausage, hash browns and an order of bacon. The iced tea.... wait for it... FRESH BREWED!

I tried to enjoy the Post as the place filled up and it did fill up. There were posers like myself but they clearly had a neighborhood crowd and a crowd of regulars, just like a diner should. The waitresses were young (under 40, maybe under 30, I can’t tell anymore) and they seemed polite and friendly and not overly chatty (huge advantage). The whole thing is run off of a very small griddle which I think is cool but I also have some concerns when they get a crowd. But mainly my concerns were overblown and for naught. I have become a diner “worrier”. An old woman among men, worrying that they are not doing things right.

Breakfast came on two plates.

The GREAT thing is the biscuits and gravy. As advertised their were two large biscuits (do not ask for half orders, it provides a mumbled “we don’t usually do that”). They were crispy on the bottom and not heavy and hockey puckish at all. A yellow or corn flower might be involved based on their color or they might have just been perfectly browned. They were also covered with sausage that also had a light char (as God intended). The gravy was classic, not too thinck and clearly made with love. Buy this.

The Good. the bacon was top notch. Also cooked with love. But not cooked with LUST as bacon should be cooked. It was crisp (averting the cardinal sin of floppiness) and had a slight smoke. really good. Not great like the biscuits but really good.

The ugly. The hash browns “looked” great. A thin browned patty of shredded potatos. They looked perfect in fact. like Spencers but thinner. Maybe only a ¼ inch of thickness. I was really excited... till I tasted them. I could not define what was off. I will try them again because they looked perfectly cooked but whether it was because the oil or because they were prepared ahead (remember the small grill) they did not match up to the first two.

The eggs I saw on other peoples plates looked cook to order and delicious. There is no chili so no slinger, but on the brighter side, there are grits. Here is the menu:

http://www.luvyduvys.com/Menu.html

You know how I feel about the potato. But still, everything else was perfect and I found in myself a forgiveness for bad hash browns that I had not known prior to this time. perhaps there is still room for me to grow? They also serve beer and following my usual Derby Day tradition, daddy had a Busch.

Who knows, but the bottom line is that Luvy Duvy’s is a keeper. 8 ½ Slingers on the 1o scale.