KUBE RULES AND MONDAY KNEWS AND KNOTES

2007 KUBE NCAA RULES REGULATIONS: Unofficial, Kuklas Rules Are The Real One But These Are Essential!

www.kubeklassik.com

1. Blue Horseshoe cannot win.

2. $10.00 entry fee must be received prior to first tip off of first game in round of 64. If you do not get your money in prior to tip off...the terorists win. Remember pick ing on line is easy, getting money to Kukla is not so easy.

3. If you have not gotten your fee to a KUBE Kollektor your 10.00 fee you will be removed from the active rolls and listed in the cheater dead beat rolls as of 5:00 on Friday of game week. Once you are in dead beat rolls you are still obligated to pay. ONCE YOU SUBMIT ENTRY....YOU OWE! DEADBEATS cannot win.

4. After the first round (Thursday and Friday) you may pay $20.00 additional dollars to have your name removed since you did so poorly in the opening round. This might reduce your families shame...possibly.

17. We will divide up the cash pursuant to whatever or however Kukla tells us to. Normally we take about 70-80% to cover our...costs. We also promise a happy hour which never materializes but occasionally we get enough to cover the peo ple who Becker didn’t keep track of and who did not pay.

6. Kukla will have this years prize allocation on web a www.kubeklassik.com. I would suggest out of the pot that 20 dollars depending on the pot go to the highest ranking pet entered in the contest. Loyal fans will remember that last year Riley Curtis (or Curtis Riley...I forget) was very competitive. On order to qualify for this prize the pet must submit a one paragraph essay as to how his choices were reached for the benefit of future animal gamblers. I can already tell you that Lily (dog) and Ozzie (Cat) are early favorites for this prize.

11. Blue Horseshoe cannot win.

3 There is a reasonable chance Kukla’s coin flip will win

7. The happy hour is a lie...like global warming.

99. BE VERY CAREFUL WITH TRUSTING BECKER WITH YOUR ENTRY FEE! AT VERY LEAST SEND LAURA HESSEL AN EMAIL CONFIRMING THAT YOU PAID BECKER. SEND BECKER THIS EMAIL TOO. HE IS A DANGEROUS MAN WITH NUMEROUS SORDID VICES ANS SIMPLY CANNOT BE TRUSTED WITH CASH OR FOR THAT MATTER EVEN THIRD PARTY OUT OF STATE CHECKS. You may...on the other hand trust him completely with your complex legal issues.

3. Sean Follis has been banned along with the Winland family for “crimes against humanity”. They really have not been banned but if anyone from “Team Kukla” wins this year there WILL BE Congressional hearings.

5 Laura Hessel will offer to cut cards for any winners portion of the prize. As your attorney I am advising you not to do it. (this might or might not be how she got engaged.)

7. The Curtises will again be entering their pet. Riley will soundly beat Mike Johnson in their now annual head to head contest.

8. KUBE Komments might or might not be written and posted at www.stldinerreview@blogger.com

68. We would like to have a 1500 dollar pot this year and what that means is that you have to get other people involved. Everyone has another pool that they play in...this is wrong and it is up to you to get them in our pool. Ours is more fun...ours is better dressed and people who play in the KUBE pool generally are better in bed. Everyone knows this.

3. KUBE Management reserves the right to ban anyone from participation who we do not like, who has not paid us in the past or anyone who Becker terms “creepy.”

99. West and Finnerty will not accumulate ACC from investing client monies in the KUBE Pool.

10. Updates will be available and quickly posted to the KUBE website. Commentary will be carried on a blog known as “The St. Louis Diner Review” and you will be able to link to it from the website.

11. Please email relevent pictures of participants to wantonbecker@gmail.com for posting on the site. Ultimately we would like to have pictures of all participants. If we cannot have pictures you give us...we will find some on the web (stl.drunks.com) or post pictures of people who are not you...and claim that they are. There is a reasonable chance that these people will be unattractive. We like to have the pics because people like to see who the winners are....and leaders are...and losers are. Help a brother out.

12. KUBE LOLLEKTORS: Stacey at Helfrey Neiers and Jones, Becker at Wagenfeld Levine. Laura Hessel at Moneta group, C.J. (Cedge) Mogerman at Zerman Mo german, Theresa Hutton at Spencer, Fane, Becker at Wagenfeld Levine, Mark Hegemeister for west county intelligentsia...Blah and Blah, and anyone else who can get their cash to these people by tip off. DO NOT DISAPPOINT DADDY ON THIS!

ALWAYS REMEMBER OUR MOTTO: “STUPID PEOPLE DOING STUPID THINGS”....since 1983 or thereabouts.

KUBE 2007: The KNEWS AND NOTES MONDAY EVENING
So...here it is again. The brackets have been posted. It is Monday night and Kukla is busy fixing the website so people can upload their picks. This year we are trying to post Komments on this site...we will see how that works. We mainly want to do it because it is easier for Kukla and I and we do not have to talk since the competition normally puts an enormous strain on our relationship.

The field has been announced. The top 4 seeds, North Carolina, Florida, Ohio State (the hated Buckeyes) and Kansas all romped into and out of their conference tournaments as victors and look like as solid a group of number 1’s that we have seen in quite a while. There are other kwality teams lurking around like Georgetown, Texas, Texas A&M, UCLA, Memphis and oregon...but these guys look good. I predict three of them will make the dance.

Kuklas will be rooting for Miami (of Ohio) or Miami University or Ohio State University in Miami or Upper Cincinatti University or whatever they are called. Dierbergs will be rooting for those spart Quakers from Penn, Beckers will be all over the board and this writer, a long time hater of touchdown jesus (small j) might even be rooting for Notre Dame. What is next? Locusts? Dogs sleeping with cats? Anything is possible because Thursday is not here and hope reigns supreme. Butler is still being taken seriously and people are whispering about the unknown powerhouse that is Winthrop which has been installed at odds of 3000-1 to win it all which is better then Jackson State at 50 sextillion-1. Those are according to “Sheridan’s Odds” as posted in the USA Today.

Over the next three weeks I will break a standing rule for my life and I will read the USA today almost every day. No other publication covers the tournament as well. They will closely examine the question of who will be breaking through this year and upsetting people. Who is this years George Mason? The simple answer is...no one. Sure any team can beat any other team on any given day and there will be some upsets in rounds 1 and 2. I love the Salukis but seriously...Tatum and Faulk are really good college players but all four those number one seeds have at loeast two legitimate pros on the team. They are going to have struggle mightily to lose in most of these games.

Look for your upsets early against teams that are not top 6 teams. The most vulnerable well ranked teams are going to be teams that have not really played anyone like Memphis (Conference USA), Oregon (nver bet on a team west of Lawrence), Texas A&M (Big Twelve over rated) and every Big Ten team that does not have Ohio in it’s name (sadly enough this includes the noble Badgers of Wisconsin. Defense wins games games but not national championships).

Out of the West look for sleepers VCU and Virginia Tech. Tech has the dreaded senior guard combination.
Out of the East they are not long shots but Texas and Georgetown are going to give North Carolina the hardest trip. Kevin Durrant, freshman or not is the man and he is surrounded by a competent cast. Longshots GW and Marquette make it the most interesting bracket.

Midwest: Notre dame, Georgia Tech and ODU. Even the Terps look very tough but they all lose when they play Florida.
South: Brigham Young, Louisville Creighton in what looks to be the weakest bracket giving the hated Buckeyes the easiest trip to the dance. There really is no one in that region that can beat them.

So we are left with the ugly possibility of Florida nd Ohio State playing each other. They cannot play for the national championship but can meet in the semis...go Gators.

This years KUBE should be a fun one. We are talking with the NCAA people about losing their logo and just calling it the KUBE Tournament on a National basis. We are looking into buying naming rights for next year. Keep you eyes and ears posted to this site for future revelations.

During March Madness the St. Louis Diner review will be on a temporary haitus (other then a long over due review of Big Ed’s Chili Mac Diner, as we explore the vagaries of the tournament on our individual, local and national psyches.
THE ST. LOUIS DINER REVIEW FINAL 4: Ohio State, Florida, Kansas and Georgetown. Not many reaches there. Highest finishing long shot, Notre Dame makes Great 8. Biggest first round upsets are Holy Cross beating SIU and Butler losing to ODU. You read it here first.

"STUPID PEOPLE DOING STUPID THINGS"