Lily Becker’s NCAA Pool Picks (It’s a dog’s life)
My name is Lily Becker and I am a rescue dog held hostage by the Becker’s and their deeply troubled children for the last 5 or 6 months. They were told that I am a mix between a Jack Russel Terrier and a Beagle but this is a lie...I am a pit bull. The Beckers are in denial over this. (I might or might not have eaten their 4th child Mike Jr.)
Being 6 or 9 months old (I have no idea since I was abandoned by my parents) this is my first NCAA tournament and I am VERY excited. I have chosen my picks very carefully, logged onto the Becker’s computer every night for on-line information and am very pleased with my selections for the 2007 brackets.
Obviously I am loyal to all of the dog or dawg teams. I picked the Salukis to win it all because quite simply it is their year and when I run away I fully plan to find my way to Carbondale and live with coach Lowery who clearly is an animal lover based on the loving way he coaches his team. These guys rebound like animals and it is time for the Valley to shine.
If teams do not have dog names then I either picked them because they had animal mascots that were not offensive to me or they had a coach who looks, acts or dresses like a dog. I was deeply disappointed to find out that Quinn Shneider is no longer coaching. He was quite a dog. I am specifically not picking any teams with offensive names that disparage Native Americans. I do not know what Native Americans are but Mr. Becker pointed out one to me on the “Land o’ Lakes” butter container. He looked funny and I do not think we should make fun of people who look funny. If I had a chance i would certainly take a bite out of Chief Illiniwek.
I als picked the Gonzaga Bulldogs, the Butler Bulldogs, the Georgetown Hoyas (do not know what a Hoya is but it looks like a dog). Why doesnt everyone have dog mascots and why is there no major college team called the Grayhounds? I would love to be a Grayhound. I would also like more rawhide chew toys and a real opportunity to eat Mrs. Becker’s slippers...but I digress.
Look out for my bastard cousins, the Wolfpack of Nevada, as well as the Albany Great Danes (Great Name). I also like the Commodores because I am a girl dog and I like men in uniform.
My idiot master has not learned how to rotate pictures on his blog. I cannot actually sit sideways.
I made my picks by telling them to Mrs. Becker. She talks to me most of the day (a lot of people in the Becker family seem to talk to me) but she is the only one who listens when I talk back. The rest of the family seems self involved. She atempted to get me to pick the teams from Christian schools like Notre Dame and Gonzaga but as Lutheran I know that dogs do not go to heaven so I am at best ambivalent regarding Christianity.
I will watch with interest to see what other pets enter the tournament pool to see if I can meet friends with similar interests to mine.
GO SALUKIS!
2 comments:
Dear Lilly the Dog:
There are very few teams with fish for mascots, unlike the many who feature dogs. Mascots such as "hurricanes" and "waves" seem decidedly unpopular these days, so we don't even get anything water-related. As a result, it is hard for me, a fish, to relate to this "basketball" that all the kids are talking about.
In short, I feel a disconnect between today's game of basketball with its mammal-themed mascots, its marijuana smoking and its one-handed jump shots. After all, it is hard to take bong rips while underwater, and I have flippers without opposable digits. I feel like a little fish in a big pond of dirty dogs and pussycats.
Anyway, don't read this as an excuse -- I still plan to win. You mangy animals will bow to me (even the poorly trained ones, or else). In the meantime, practice calling me "Kingfish."
Yours,
Bradley the Betta
I can't believe Lily did not pick the Jayhawks to win it all! IF the Kidder family dog, Mattie (short for Mathilda) were to participate in gambling, she would certainly know how to pick winners. However, since the Kidders are still depressed over Roy Williams departure from Kansas, they are boycotting all mens hoops pools and focusing attention on the UConn women.
Lisa
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